I AM 20 IN 2WEEKS TIME,MY PARTNER AND I ARE GOING TO START TRYING AGAIN FOR A BABY IN JANUARY.WE ARE CURRENTLY BUYING OUR SECOND HOME TOGETHER AND LOST TWINS AT 3 MONTHS WHEN I WAS 17, WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IS HOW ANYONE CAN SAY THAT I AM NOT OLD TO HAVE A CHILD WHEN I AM OLD ENOUGH TO OWN MY OWN HOUSE AND CAN LOOK AFTER EVERYONE IN IT. ↓
For those who are not yet a member, Register and become a part of our close-knit forum community.
Name: lastchance | Date: Nov 7th, 2007 5:03 PM
20 here also... Some of the girls our age, okay most of the girls our age, are hardly able to take care of themselves... and a baby is really out of the question... so they kinda ruin it for everyone... to me, it sounds like you are ready... but I know a few girls our age who think they are ready, and I KNOW that they are not... When you can provide for a baby, have a partner who is going to be there for you, and the baby, when you are ready to give up your social life - me I have none outside of the home with my love- and when you are truly able to loose all of that selfishness and dedicate your life to your child's well being...THEN YOU CAN HAVE A BABY NO MATTER WHAT AGE YOU ARE! (not to the kids that live at home.. sorry, despite what you think you meet NONE of those requirements) Thats what I have to say... ↑
Name: sphinx | Date: Nov 8th, 2007 11:02 AM
I think its more about maturity, not age. It sounds like your maturity is higher than 20! Good luck with your baby-making and don't worry so much about what other people think! ↑
Name: newlywed0915 | Date: Nov 21st, 2007 5:22 PM
You go girls! Congrats on the home Sarah! I'm 21, newly married, and pregnant! Whoo hoo!!!!! ↑
Name: Teddyfinch | Date: Nov 24th, 2007 2:04 PM
age isn't anything but a number. if you act mature enough to have a baby, then that's really all that matters. ↑
Name: claudia21 | Date: Nov 24th, 2007 4:29 PM
Well maybe your like a rich girl to own a second home... ↑
Name: Teddyfinch | Date: Nov 24th, 2007 6:14 PM
claudie: are you serious? it sounds like you're either amazed or poking at her for being able to buy her second home. we don't need crap like that. bye now. ↑
Name: MissesBee | Date: Dec 19th, 2007 7:24 PM
You are too young period!!! You grow up so much from 20-30. You have soooo much time to have a family, why rush? People who are 21 and married have the highest divorce rate.. it is just insane to me that a 20 year old would even think being a mom at that age is the right thing to do!!! ↑
Name: misundastQQd | Date: Dec 19th, 2007 11:13 PM
People speak for themselves.
I am 20 , engaged to a wonderful man and we are 10 weeks pregnant.
We have no financial difficulties, and 20 is the perfect age to get pregnant.
It's not like you want to be a dang GRANDMA giving birth.
↑
Name: Hopeful3 | Date: Dec 22nd, 2007 4:16 AM
Everyone needs to realize that statistics aren't always right. My husband and I were married when we were both 20. We have struggled with fertility problems throughout our marriage, but that has only made our bond stronger. We have been married for 5 years and have never spent a night apart or slept in separate rooms. We bought our house at 22 and are still going strong. Also, we only knew each other for 3 months when we married, and everyone predicted failure. Statistics are not always right!! Age does not predict what kind of parent you are going to be. ↑
Name: blackandwhite | Date: Dec 23rd, 2007 10:30 PM
Misses I think that is a completely incorrect assumption to make... I get SO TIRED of hearing that you have "so much time" to have a family or get married... you never know when your last day on Earth is, and I think if Sarah thinks that she is able to give a baby a wonderful home then more power to her. And as far as marriage, there are plenty of people that get married at 30 that have just as high divorce rates as those 21 yr olds that get married!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU SARAH, AND IF YOU ARE HONESTLY READY FOR A CHILD, I HOPE YOU GET ONE! ↑
Name: Misti | Date: Dec 27th, 2007 11:55 AM
just because some one who is 20 wants to concive dont mean they are wrong a 20 yr old has the same right as a 35 yr old to have children. ↑
Name: sarah87 | Date: Dec 30th, 2007 7:33 PM
I feel as long as you are emotionally and mentality ready for this child then go for it. You sound extremely mature you are not too young you know yourself....no one i know ever regretted having a child..... you will always find a way, good luck trying xxxxx ↑
Name: Teddyfinch | Date: Jan 1st, 2008 2:55 AM
there isn't anything wrong with having a baby at 20. for some women, they aren't ready at 20 and for some women, they are too old at 30. it all depends on the person. if they can afford to feed and cloth and house the baby, then they are ready. MissesBee, that is your opinion. sarah87, i think you're also sarahd87 and answering yourself is strange. but that's beside the point! statistics are poop. my hubby and i are going on 3 years married in march, we've known each other for around 6 years, dated officially for 3 months. oh and we met on the internet. (not a dating service. we're online game nerds) so statistic followers can stick that in their nose =P ↑
Name: sarah87 | Date: Jan 1st, 2008 2:17 PM
teddyfinch i am not sarahd87 i am sarah87 - similar i know i didnt realise sarahd87 existed when i chose my name..sorry to confuse x ↑
Name: LinsTwin | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 7:44 PM
Money doesn't necessarily make you ready to have a child; there are a lot of factors that go into such a decision. See Carmensmom's great post, for a great example. Now, I don't mean any disrespect, but I'm hesitant to believe someone who says they're almost 20 and buying their second home. My dh and I make nearly 4x the median U.S. income, and we're just buying our second home, 10 years after buying the first. At 20, I'm just not sure how you could have accumulated near enough credit yet to even qualify for a home. Do you live in a depressed area? Do your homes have wheels? Is your partner significantly older than you? Is he independently wealthy? Do you have a large inheritance? Don't mean to be rude or nosy, just curious! ↑
Name: mtrose | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 8:47 PM
LinsTwin, you must not be great with money because I bought my first house with my husband when I was 19 and we both only had part time jobs. It is a 4 bedroom house and it isn't in an extremely cheep place to live the house cost 125,000 and let me reinforce we both only had part time jobs. Now that we have full time jobs we have already paid off the 20% that we can in a year and at this rate we will have our house paid off by the time we are 24. SO just because you are bad with money doesn't mean that everyone is. I think that if you live on your own with a stable job and feel that your ready go for it.
↑
Name: LinsTwin | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 9:28 PM
Not nice, mtrose. I'm not making assumptions; that's why I asked a question, so please don't make assumptions about me. I live near Los Angeles, where an entry level 2 bedroom house will cost you around $600K... maybe less if you don't mind living in a less than desirable area or at least an hour out of town. You couldn't find a studio apartment or a mobile home in southern California for $125K. Around here, that makes for a nice down payment, not a purchase price. I can't be too bad with money if my down payment could purchase your house outright. But that's beside the point. My question was about her credit. Most 19 year olds can barely qualify for a credit card, because it takes credit to get credit. So it's hard for me to understand how she could qualify for a home loan. But I do understand there are other possibilities. Perhaps she has enough money that she doesn't have to get a loan... Or perhaps an older partner has the credit to buy it on his own. Apparently, as you've pointed out, when the house is really cheap, it may not take as much to qualify. But that's why I asked. ↑
Name: sarahd87 | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 3:11 AM
Hi Linstwins I thought i would answer your questions.Me and my partner work together earning the same money and pay all the bills equally.We actually live in the UK about 60miles from london and house prices in the UK have rocketed in the last year so it is not a cheap place to live, but we both left school and went into full time employment which paid well.we met when i was 16 and he was 20 and fell totally in love so from then on we decided to save up and get our own place we have no help we just save up,dont party and live within our means.Because of the house prices going through the roof we decided to rent for one year when i was 17-18 then bought our first home 18-20 and now i am 20 and my partner is 25 and we have made enough profit to buy a bigger better home to start a family in.
i hope that has answered your questions xx ↑
Name: LIN | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 11:32 PM
Holy crap, sis, you're still reading this website! Well, I guess you have reason to now. Anyway, it's best to stay out of this particular forum. I used to post here occasionally but only read once in awhile now. No matter how respectful you are in your posts, there will always be some little kid like mtrose who'll attack you and read nastiness into anything you say. You can't explain to a 20 year old all the wonderful things in life they will miss out on by not taking advantage of their youth. Remember how much we thought we knew about life back then and how everyone older than us just 'didn't understand'? Getting involved in these discussions is futile. ↑
Name: LinsTwin | Date: Jan 30th, 2008 4:06 PM
Haha, hey Lin! Yah, since I'm prego again, I've been lurking around these parts. In fact, I almost responded to a couple other posts until I noticed that you'd already replied and pretty much said what I was going to say! :o) And Sarahd87, thanks for not assuming that I was attacking you. I'm actually quite impressed with the way you've handled things. Very mature for someone your age. I still question the wisdom of having children so young, though. I don't think you'll ever regret having your children, but I'm sure that every young girl who vehemently defends how smart she is to have children so young, will one day look back and think, "I don't regret having my kids, but NOW I know what they were talking about!" There's a reason we all end up saying the same things to our kids ("If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?") that our parents said to us. It's because as much as we think we know it all when we're young, when we get to their age, we realize that they weren't so stupid. Good luck with whatever decision you make... ↑
Name: mtrose | Date: Jan 30th, 2008 9:46 PM
LinsTwin, I wasn't attacking you I was just pointing out that you automatically assumed she lived in a crappy little house "Do you live in a depressed area? Do your homes have wheels?" That sounds pretty rude to me and instead of asking where she lives if it is a small town (where the market prices are cheeper) you ask if she was living in a motor home, and so what if she did. do people that live in small homes or appartments their whole lives never deserve kids and should never have them. I have also talk to my parents and my husbands parents on many occassions about TTC. Both parents had their children young (after they were married but while they were still early 20's) both sets of parents said they would do it the same. My mom is 43 and her youngest will be moving out next year and now my dad and my mom are travelling. You make your on choice you can have kids young and be young when they move out or you can have kids when you are older and have the time without kids before them. Plus their are pro's and con's to having children at any age. Just because you are older doesn't not mean you are any more financially ready you or your partner could lose your job become disabled. I think there is not a right age to have children but rather a right state of mind and financial situation. I am sorry Linstwin if it felt like I was attacking you I didn't mean to sound like that and it did come across b*tchy (I am a little hormonal right now) ↑
Name: newlywed0915 | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 3:24 PM
this forum for "the Best Age to Get Pregnant" is pretty pointless...because really, age is JUST a number. Everyone's maturity levels are different...and all of us come from different backrounds and roads of life that make us ready for children at any given age...be it early 20's or late 40's. As long as everyone understands what responsibilties come with having a child...whats the big deal if they choose to start their family early or later? I myself am 22...and my Dh and I are expecting in June. This has in no way inhibited our dreams or aspirations for ourselves, each other, and our little one...but has made our dreams even stronger. Parenthood is about making sacrifices and giviing yourself for your child...as long as both involved are ready for that...then I'd say go for it...whoever and whatever age you are. ↑
Name: ^lucy^ | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 5:03 PM
IMO, 20 is not young at all.. i was engaged on 20, got married on 21 and got our first baby on 22.. im 24 now and im enjoying being a young mom as no one believes im a mom to an almost 2 yr old baby girl :) if ur in a secure relationship and financial position, then go for it :) ↑
Name: LIN | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 1:33 AM
That's all nice and easy to say, but unfortunately the large majority (note not all) of 20 year olds haven't a clue what a secure relationship is. Of course, they always think they do. We all did/do. ↑
Name: im_danielle_hi | Date: Feb 20th, 2008 3:38 PM
I am 21 in april and i am 22 weeks pregnant took me 17 months to concieve me and my partner have been together 5 years and we are fiancially and emotionally ready to have this baby i think age is just a number its how your mind works every person is different and ts just wrong to judge people by their age HOPE YOU ALL THE BEST SARAH KEEP US UP TO DATE IF YOU WANNA CHAT SOMETIME BE FREE TO ADD ME TO MSN OR YAHOO PM ME FOR MY EMAIL ADDRESS. xxxx lots of hugs!!!! ↑
Name: im_danielle_hi | Date: Feb 20th, 2008 3:40 PM
just realised you cant get pms on this site lol or can you? my addy for yahoo is danielle.lillie ↑
Name: sarahd87 | Date: Feb 21st, 2008 2:48 AM
hello everyone we have been ttc now for 3months no luck yet though my periods have just sorted them selves out now because i stopped the pill (cerazette)i didnt bleed at all on that pill so when i had my first period i actually felt like a women again and i think i am ovulating at tho mo! we have only just moved so we have been quite stressed out so it probably wasnt the best time ttc but we are back on track now! thanks to everyone for there comments. i posted on the pregnancy and sex forum but havnt had a reply yet if anyone can help me out? baby dust to all us baby makers!! xxxxxx ↑
Name: schar | Date: Feb 25th, 2008 10:24 PM
sarah try unprescribed clomid you can buy it online and most people get pg in 3 months good luck! ↑
Name: Sal | Date: Mar 7th, 2008 6:00 AM
Just sat here and read all of this! wow so many different opinions. I'm almost 20, have been living with my partner paying for our own house since I was 17 and partner 19. We live in the UK so are able to get a 100% mortgage...we got married last September after being together 3 and 1/2 years. We have been bought up in christian families so felt very stong about getting married as soon as possible. For us having a child at this age is perfect. I don't think there is a bad age to get pregnant, as long as you are in a secure/stable relationship and able to cope with the responsibilites that come with having a child i.e finances, commitment, stress on relationship etc. I can understand why people may think 20 is too young as there are so many irresponsible 20 year olds out there. My husband and I feel that we won't be missing out on life by having a child now but by not having a child now we would be missing out...sorry to confuse! x ↑
Name: sarahd87 | Date: Mar 7th, 2008 3:08 PM
hi sal where abouts in the uk do you live? we live in southampton.i am so glad that i am not the only 20year old that actually owns there own home and doesn't still depend on their parents.can i ask how do your parents feel about you trying for a baby?my parents worry about money even though we are totally financially stable and i moved out years ago i think its because they struggled when they were young.me and my partner have been together 4 1/2 years and are due to get married may 15th 2010 and i would really love to have a son/daughter there with us on our special day xx
-
-
-
- ↑
