I am 21 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend want me tohave an abortion so bad. We have been together for 7 years off and on we are both 22 years old and in college right now. We already have a 2 Year old son and he has another baby by someone else thats why he is pressuring me so bad to have an abortion. we are planning to get married in April or June Of 2008. I really do not want to have an abortion but am i wrong for not wanting to have one??? He says the new baby will mess up our plans and he thought me and him were on the same track This is my 4th pregnancy with him . We have had to abortions arleady and We kept one and now im pregnant again. He said he will not leave me if i have an abortion but he will not help me raise our new baby because he says we are already trying to graduate college and we barely have to go to class , work etc.. because he already has two kids to look after of. But i feel it is way to late to even consider abortion I know i will regret it if i do it because i have already had a ultrasound and i heard our little babys heartbeat and will feel horrible if i have it.I KNOW it is going to bee hard but we both got ourseleves into this situation and by keep on aborting our babys in not the right solution .......cuz i would probably get pregnant again and what is going to do abort that one to. I am afraid, scared and confused ↓
Getlikeme07......if you really don't want to abort this baby, then don't. I am pro-choice, but definitely feel that if there is any 'if's and's or but's' about it...then DON'T do it. Isn't there any form of birth control you can go on so you don't keep falling pregnant until you're ready to have another one? ↑
YOUR 21 WEEKS!!!!!!!! This is a baby that is murder...at 23 weeks a baby can live outside the womb....I am sorry it is way too late to discuess abortion!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑
I used to work for planned parenthood & legally you can get an abortion in nys until 24wks, HOWEVER, why would you want to abort your BABY that late? Your like 5months pregnant! Thats something you guys should have discussed & done way earlier in the pregnancy...like when you found out you were pregnant! Im sorry im not prochoice or prolife, i mean its YOUR decision, you have to take care of that child....but i think that is HORRIBLE to even be thinking about aborting a baby that far into the pregnancy. You only have 4 months left! How dare your boyfriend pressure you into aborting now! What a jerk! ↑
I agree with the other ladies, If you feel strongly about keeping the baby then do so. And I also agree that it's way too late to have an abortion. Legally you can do it but morally i can't see it happening. ↑
Wow so about him not wanting to take responsibility... money wise he sure does...Why marry someone who would even corner you like that...And seriously...forget abortion..how about adoption if its "TOO" much for you two...You should really think about being responsible yourself! having all those abortions,not very mature to take a so called "easy way out" ↑
What is up with you!?! You already had an unplanned baby AND multiple abortions AND you two are undecided NOW as to what to do with your current ALMOST viable baby!?!?! Are you looking for pity here....? In the best interest of this baby, give it to a loving family, wanting a baby. ADOPTION. That would be the best and most unselfish decsision you can make. ↑
Getlikeme07 - i think you should do some research before u even consider doing an abortion... this baby is 3 weeks away from being able to live outside your womb and you're still considering abortion.. not to judge, but have u heard of birth control/condoms? and he will not help you raise this baby, but you're planning to get married.. my goodness, what have u gotten yourself into? you already have one child, please use some form of birth control and stop thinking of abortion AS birth control.. and to close it off, if you were to abort, you would probably get pregnant again... i have one word for you.. STUPID.. again, no offence, but use your brain... ↑
im sorry but you should have discussed abortion earlier why not discuss adoption instead. You have already had 2 abortions and personally maybe grow up and stop using it as a form of birthcontrol its disgusting! I would tell your bf to get a vasectomy and to fu** off if he asks you to kill the baby again. And I pray you grow your ass up and learn about b/c ↑
do a picture google search on abortion-you will see what aborting a 21 week baby looks like and i think that'll be enough to put off. I agree with those who said its waaaaay too late to abort. This is a fully formed human being who is almost capable of living without you. If you really cant swing looking after this baby, there are plenty of childless couples desperate to adopt. I'm sorry but it was YOUR fault u got pregnant-its sounds like you've been plenty irresponsible if you've gotten pregnant 4 times already. Take responsibility for your actions (murder is not taking responsibility) and use condoms and bc next time. ↑
If a man pressures you or even ALLOWS you to abort 3 children then do you really want to make a life and live a life with that person? I'm sorry I don't judge anybody, but abortion shouldn't be a form of birthcontrol...I think that the only reason for abortion should be rape because if you're able to have sex, and unprotected sex on top of that knowing you can get pregnant then you should be able to take the consequences...besides it is way too late for you to have an abortion, that baby is too is almost big enough to live outside your belly, I'm only 12 weeks and I couldn't imagine something happen to my baby, or me doing something to it on purpose...if YOU want the baby then you should, and you really need to do some soulsearching and decide wether you want to be with an irresponsible person like that...when I read stuff like this it makes me so sad that people can be so inconciderate towards innocent little beings...I wish you the best, and you need to do what's best for you and your baby... ↑
I am pro-life and I believe 2 weeks or 22 weeks, it's still murder. If you can't take the responsibility of being a parent to another child, then do these poor innocent children a favor and get on or use some type of birth control. I think you and your bf are selfish and need to take the lives of these innocent babies into consideration. It makes me sick to think that there are so many people out there that want children so badly and can't and then there are people that use abortion as birth control. I have a 2 year old and I am 6 weeks pregnant and I thank God everyday for blessing me with these miracles. Do yourself a favor and get on the pill after you have this baby. ↑
How about open adoption? Don't you use birth control?? Start using condoms and the pill after this one. Do not get an abortion at this late in the pregnancy it can be seriously harmful to you and possibly ruin your chances of ever having children in the future! Not to mention the baby is too old at this point and will be able to feel the process. ↑
You should consider adoption. My sister-in-law's friend was in a very similar situation several years ago and she ended up giving the baby up for adoption because the father and her did not have a very good relationship and she wanted to finish school, etc. It is an open adoption and the family is apparently wonderful. She is sad sometimes but says she wouldn't change anything. She gets pictures, sees her a couple times a year and the family is very open and communicative with her. Having an abortion is a very final act, and if you are not sure, you should either keep your baby or think about allowing another family the opportunity to raise your child. It sounds like you are being pressured and this guy does not sound like someone you want to marry if he is so willing to shut down like this - it took two to tango and you cannot keep putting your body through abortions, etc. Try calling a Children's Association in your area and talking to them about what is going on. A counselor may be able ot offer you some guidance and support. Good Fortune and don't make any decisions that you are not completely comfortable with. This process is unfortunately a lot easier for the men then the women, because the women cannot walk away from it as easy. Take care... ↑
He sounds like someone that doesn't want to take responsibility. The fact you have to think of is how many time are you going to let this happen. Think about saying to your children ( I killed your brothers and sisters so I could have a good job). Good jobs are nothing without a family. I think this conversation should be more about aborting the boyfriend maybe. ↑
Hey, you would be closer to 6 months now. I am curious as to what you decided to do. I am a mum who is neither against or for abortion, i believe in some circumstances it is ok, rape, very young girls getting pregnant etc, it is perhaps something that should never have been introduced and i imagine lots more parents who cant have children would not have to had jump thru hoops to adopt an unwanted child....I think its outrageous they will perform an abortion up until 24 weeks, u are actually showing then, it really makes me feel ill. I do think the stage you are at is far too late to have an abortion... my next step would be to think 'am i going to keep it' I do think this man of yours is an ass, he wont leave u if u have an abortion.... Course not, he is saying bring it on please and quick..... he wont help u with the new baby, of course not.......selfish..... I hope one day you realise he is an asshole and you deserve way more.... I wish you well and i would think about either keeping the child and losing him or adoption and losing him....... ↑
i hope everything is ok now i'd like to know, but i had a friend in a similar situation (ie. multiple abortions) but this last time her baby was the product of rape, she decided to keep him and its so amazing to see them, he truely healed her pain from the rape as well as her other abortions...she did have help from friends and a counselor and she also was involved with rachels vinyard, they help men and women heal from the pain of abortions. also during my pregnancy my bf decided to show me just what an alcoholic he could be, so i went to a place called maggies place, a house of hospitallity for pregnant women. i'm 19 and was the youngest one there, i made amazing friends, and we all helped one another get on our feet. its in az but maybe theres some place near you can could help you out. you can check their website if you want, its maggiesplace.org. god bless you and your family, let us know how you're doing ↑
Have you thought of adoption? There are so many people like me who want to adopt. That could give your baby a wonderful loving home. Abortion is wrong the baby feels everything that it goes through. ↑
1st YOU NEED TO GET ON THE DEPO SHOT OR SOME STRONG FORM OF BC! 2nd dump the loser. 3rd either keep your baby and sue him for child support, he has no choice but help raise your baby, he helped make it! And 4th ADOPTING IS ALSO LOOKING REALLY GOOD AS WELL! ↑
WELL i am writing to say that i am still pregnant everything is slowly coming t ogether. I pray about my situation so that things will get better him and his mother are now realizing that i am not getting an abortion and i am keeping the baby. he is started ti get more involved now that he sees how big my stomach is getting and it it acually a life in there . it is becoming more real to him i cant wait until my blessing from God arrives in June and by the way its A BOY . i cherish
every morning of my pregnancy because i just had to friends of mine that had miscarriages one was three months and the other was four i felt so bad it made me think that if God didnt want me to have this baby he will take him away hiself...that not my descision. i love my little baby boy ↑
I believed in pro-choice until I read some articles about late pregnancies. I read to true stories about women who are suing the abortion clinics because there babies were alive. One women aborted her baby at 23 weeks and the medicine to stop her heart didn't work. The baby was moving and she screamed for them to help the baby and they walked out and left her alone until the baby died. Its a true story look it up online. ↑
Question for *mom2bagain*, how is that story possible? I know in Aust that the women if totally sedated during an abortion and never has the chance to see what has happened. Is this different elsewhere or was she awake because she was so far into her pregnancy? I'm confused ↑
I am sorry to hear what an irresponsible jerk your man is being. Do you really want to marry him? I mean if he does not even take pride in his cjildren than what kind of man is he? I am 21 weeks pregnant and I have a almost two year old daughter, both are by the same father,he just walked out on me last week with no explination. However, I would never consider an abortion this far into my pregnancy and I would advise you to keep your baby as well. Think of the guilt you will feel if you kill this tiny human, the expierence would be tramatic. Your baby alreay has eyes, arms, legs, a mouth, nose, and can even hear your voice and loud outside noises, it is a tiny person depending on you to provide it with a chance. I am pro choice but after the first four weeks I think it is wrong to even think of it. There are other options like adoption if you really can not take care of it but if you want to keep it then there is plenty of government help especially for young mothers going to college. Do what you feel is best for you and the baby not what your man wants. Afterall if he is that emotionally detached from the babies you both have made then chances are he will walk out on you later on in life anyway. ↑
hey ur boyfriend should not be putting the kind of pressure on you. if he did not want the baby then should have not have gotten you pregnant. dont kill your baby for the 3rd time just he wants to finish school. thats not fair to you or you baby. dont let him threatin you that he wont help raise it if u keep it that is wrong. who could even suggest something like thst. My honest opion keep the baby dont kill it or give it for adoption. the baby should more than school. yes school is important but that dont mean someone should kill their baby because of it ↑
and after you have this baby how about looking into some form of birth control huh? you keep ending up in the same situation because you put yourself there. ↑
