I know this question probably sounds strange...but my daughter who is 18 months now...is seriously the apple of our eye...I never imagined how much I could love someone so much when she was born...our newest addition was a huge suprise...and although I'm happy about it...i'm terrified of how my relationship with my daughter will be...I so don't want to take any love away from her...and I know people always tell you the love just grows...but i'm still worried...I want to make sure I give my 2nd one the same love...without giving any up for my daughter, and be the best mom I can be for both of them...the thoughts just terrify me.....anyone else having these feelings? ↓
Yuppers, I feel the exact same way. I'm due with a girl July 10th & my son just turned 3 last week, & he everything to me. I am super excited to have another, but keep thinking my son wont be my "baby" anymore, & he may get deprived of my attention when she comes along. I have been spoling him rotten lately with attention, gifts, a million more hugs & kisses, & the little brat even gets to have ice cream every night because I can't say no to him because I feel guilty that he will have to share his mommy with someone else soon. But what makes me feel better is that I am about to give him the best gift in the world - a buddy for life, & that anything ever happened to me & my hubby, he wont be alone. I'm sure when we meet our 2nd we will jusy totally fall in love all over again, like you said - I'm sure the love just grows. But no, your question is not strange ... I have the same feelings, just try to enjoy the last few weeks you have alone with her. ↑
COOKIE, I THINK THAT YOUR FEARS ARE VERY NORMAL. I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY ABOUT MY DAUGHTER MY DAUGHTER WAS A SURPRISE AS WELL AND SHHH PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE LOL BUT IN THE BEGINNING I REALLY FELT LIKE I HAD NO CONNECTION TO THIS BABY AND WAS A LITTLE RESENTFUL( FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD) THAT SHE WAS COMING SO SOON. I FELT LIKE I HADN'T HAD ENOUGH TIME WITH MY 2YR OLD. I AM OVER THAT NOW SO EXCITED AND CAN'T WAIT TO MEET MY LIL GIRL NOW I AM JUST WORRIED ABOUT HOW MY 2YR OLD WILL ADJUST HAVING A NEW BABY AROUND. ↑
hey there - I have a two week old son and a 21 month old daughter - and trust me, you have plenty left for each of them. You just love each of them differently - and just as much. It is hard to spend one on one time with my dd but we work it in as much as possible. She likes to kiss the baby and check him out and play with his stuff. She is too young still to really understand it so it makes things easier. Like Whitney said, enjoy your last few weeks alone - we did - and things are just fine. In fact, it has given my husband more alone time with my dd since I'm so busy feeding the baby. He's really enjoying it. So don't worry, you will love them both so much and be sooo happy!! ↑
Cookie, I know exactly how you feel. I know I will love my baby (who was planned) but still feel so badly for my son, who is almost 2.5. I thought I was in labor last week and cried my eyes out thinking I hadn't had enough time with him. Life as we both know it will change if a few short weeks/days. I know my son will love his brother and like Whitney said, I'm glad he will have a sibling but it is very scary knowing my son won't get complete attention anymore. My husband and I have already thought of ways to keep his attention up (saturday morning coffee and bagel trips while mom stays home with the baby). I suppose we will all figure it out. ↑
Welcome to the club, my daughter is our everything, but we have baby #2 on the way now. I always feel guilty when I don't acknowledge my pregnancy as much as I did with her, mainly because I am so busy with her! I feel I love this baby too, but it's not as spectacular and fireworks as it was when I got pregnant with her. I am pretty nervous about it as well, although I know I will love this baby like mad The moment I see him or her, I cannot help but feel guilty thinking now my daughter will have to lose some attention. It's a pretty twisted cycle I am sure, but we'll learn to adapt. that's what we should do best I guess! ↑
You are not alone. I'm 37 weeks 2 days pregnant with #2 and my son is 18 months. He is my reason for breathing. I too am trying to figure out how to balance the attention he requires and the attention a newborn will demand. He's still a little young to recruit as mommy's "helper" with the new baby. I'm not even sure he is aware that there is a new baby coming. When I show him my Tummy he pokes me in the belly button and says either "Dada" or "Chocolate". (no idea why he does that) We keep correcting him and pointing to my belly and saying "baby". He doesn't seem interested. I started my maternity leave 2 weeks ago and this child has been so clingy and mommy dependent. I'm not sure if it is because he's just not used to me being around all day, every day or if he senses some changes coming. I'm not worried about the whole "Will I love the 2nd the way i love the first" issue. I don't believe I will love my second the same way I love my first. Baby #2 will be their own unique person with their own unique, lovable qualities. I don't think it is possible to love two separate people in the exact same way. I will love my second just as much as my first but in a different way. I wouldn't sweat this issue too much. Once the dust settles and you get into a routine that works for you and for both of the children you will see that each is a unique individual and that you love them beyond description. ↑
Yes I'm right there with you. I also felt resentful like, no not now! I felt even worse b/c I felt that way : (. I'm more comfortable now as I'm getting closer to the 3rd tri but there are times when my dd and I are cuddling or doing things and I think wow, where will another fit in? Then there are times when I can't wait for her to meet her brother as she treats her baby dolls so sweet, shes 13 months. But she treats other children a little shakey sometimes nice but will NOT share, so that makes me nervous! Ahh! ↑
While I would like to say that you will love your second as much as your first...I can't say that because it is different. You love them the same but differently. I am expecting #3 and I will always have a special place in my heart for #1. She made me a mommy. We have a special bond. I tell her that she is special to me and I think it helps her deal with the other two additions. I love the second differently because she made me a better mother. I was more ready when I had her and I just fell in love the moment I felt her inside me.
I love them both, of course, and you will too. Just know that it will always be special with your first. It's okay to feel that way. ↑
