Hello,
I'm hurting and feel empty. I went today for my doctor's appointment. There was no heartbeat detected so my OB did an Ultra Sound there was no movement and no heart beat shown. She referred me to a specialist and he confirmed by baby died recently either today or yesterday. I'm going in to the hospital tomorrow to deliver the baby. They said that I was too far along to do a D & C. This is my fourth miscarriage. First one that happened in the 2nd trimester. Has anyone been through this before? Any advice you can give me befor or after? I really appreciate any help!! Thank you. ↓
Little T,
I'm so so sorry for your losses. I do hope they let you see or hold your baby, so that you can treasure the realness of ths life that ended too soon. We'll be thinking of you and your baby. ↑
Little T, I just wrote my story on "lost my little boy" thread. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are feeling right now. I lost my little boy last month. I was 17 weeks. It's been seven weeks for me, but it is still hard. You will be delivering him today. Honestly, having to deliver my baby knowing that I would not bring him home was so difficult. You are going to face a lot of emotions the next few weeks. I felt like I was going crazy at first. It's hard to see brighter days, but it does get easier. You will begin coping. Keep your family & friends close to you. Talk about it. That's what helped me - and a lot of prayer. The hardest part for me was not having someone who understood. I kept hearing it was so common, but it didn't seem common to me. I felt very lonely at first, but I trusted God to get me through each day - sometimes just each moment. Hold on to your memories. I felt like I was suppose to get through it & move on. Later I wished I had taken more time to hold him. It all seemed to happen way to fast. There are moments when I miss him so much. I feel like he was a big part of my life, yet I can't close my eyes and think about memories that I have with him. I only have memories of the sonograms. That's what's so hard. It's overwhelming at times. But it's more often now that I'm thankful God allowed him to be a part of my life. Although I dream of what his life would have been like, I feel blessed to have an angel in Heaven. I hope you can too. Please write if you need to talk. I'll be thinking about you. Take care. ↑
Little T I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I am also so heartbroken for you that this is your 4th miscarriage. I have had 3 miscarriages but none in the 2nd trimester. I am just so sorry. I think what Tanya said about taking time to hold them sounds very good advice. Hold your baby as long as you need to-I cannot imagine what you are going through, please know know my thoughts & prayersa re with you. Have you had blood tests for clotting disorders etc following your previous losses? I pray you will be blessed with a healthy pregnancy soon-and for now wish you strength to get through this tragic time. Lots of love xxx ↑
Little T, I am so sorry you are going through this.I couldent imagine losing a baby at 18 weeks that seems so far into your pregnancy. I lost my little one at 12 weeks no heartbeat and currently pregnant again 9.5 weeks. I hope you got to hold your baby ! I'll be praying for you and your little one!! ↑
Thank you all for all your support and answering my questions. I just got home Saturday from the hospital. This was the most difficult thing I've had to go through. I found out I had a little girls. We named her Lily. My husband and I got to hold her and she was beautiful. We now have our own little angel. We wish she could be here with us. We found out that the cord was wrapped around her neck and shoulder and that is probably what caused the miscarriage. They are going to do more studies. I've already had extensive blood test through my Fert. Specialist. We are hoping that this was just an accident and we will be able to have a live baby some day. Thank you again for all your answers and support!! One more question. Did any of you take leave from work? Maternity leave or FMLA. I'm trying to decide what to do I'm not ready to return to work yet?? Thanks again!! ↑
Oh Little T I am so heartbroken for you. I can't imagine what you have gone through losing your beautiful little girl in such a way. You are very much in my thoughts & prayers. I don't know about the leave from work-I found it hard going back after each of my miscarriages and needed time before I was able to each time. My doctor signed me off each time until I felt able to face going back. After what you have been through I really don't think you should rush back to work-I think you need time. Don't even think about work yet if you are able to get some leave-take things slowly and take care. Again I'm so sorry xxx ↑
I recently experienced my 2nd late miscarriage (19 wks) & delivered my son. This one was a little different than the first because my placenta wouldn't deliver & I almost bled out so I had to have surgery as well. I seem to keep having premature rupture of my membranes. No one seems to know why. Autopsy & chromosome testing all normal. It may be difficult for you for a while but having seen & held your child does help. I didn't with my first & wished I had so I made sure I did with this one. The hospital also took professional pictures of my son & sent them to me along with the clothing/blanket he wore & put them in a very nice folding pillow. I am grateful for the opportunity to cherish him. Keep up with your regular routine when you are feeling better physically. May help to talk about it with family or friends. You probably won't qualify for the FML leave BUT your doctor should be able to write you an out of work note for some of the time. If you have a supportive boss, discuss it with them. They may be understanding. God will help you through this time of loss. It may be a moment by moment situation but eventually your heart will heal, you will go on but always cherish the Angel you carried! Thinking of you.... ↑
I'm so sorry to read about your loss. I went for my U/S prior to having an amnio test done when I was sixteen weeks. The words "I'm afraid I haven't got good news for you today." will ring in my ears forever. Like you, my baby had died in the last day or so. I delivered my son Luke on 22nd September 05. He was my sixth child. I have a son 8, twin daughters (stillborn at 30 wks in 2000), daugter 3 yrs and daughter 2yrs. I couldn't believe that this could happen to me again. At this stage there does not appear to have been anything obviously wrong with Luke. I feel so guilty as I had been hoping for another girl. He was a much longed for child and possibly my last as I am 43. But I have been told on more than one occasion that these things sometimes just happen. It foesn't make it any easier though. I hope your pain will ease. You will never forget but one day it will be easier to cope with.
You are in my thoughts. ↑
LITTLE T I DELIVERED MY BABY AT 17.5 WEEKS ON SEPTEMBER 8, 2005. I CAN TELL YOU THERE IS NOTHING THAT WILL PREPARE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO DO. THE ONE THING THAT I CAN SUGGEST TO YOU IS HOLD YOUR BABY I AM SO GLAD THAT I DID. I ALMOST DIDN'T HAVE TO COURAGE BUT CHANGED MY MIND AT LAST MIN. I STILL THINK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER EVERY DAY AND YEARN TO HAVE HER WITH ME BUT I AM NOT GIVING UP HOPE. ↑
Thanks so much for the responses I have received. We just received the pathology report and it appears there may have been a heart defect. I know it will take time to get over the loss.
Has anyone had this happen and go on to deliver a healthy baby??
hello everyone, this is my first time actually writing something on one of these, but I have read all your posts a million times. I had a misscarraige this year in July wich was the most devestating thing that has ever happened to my husband and I, the baby had died at 7 weeks, I did not find out until 9 weeks after hassling my doctor because I did not 'feel pregnant'. then I fell pregnant again 2 months later in September. We were so happy, especially when we saw our baby kicking and waving to us at our 12 week scan, we could finally tell the world! then, 2 weeks ago, I had massive abdominal pain, it was so bad I was in tears, I went to the ER and they did a scan, heartbeat normal, moving around, waving again, everything. 2 days later the pain was still unbearable I went back and they basically said they dont know what it is, go home, it will be fine. my friends all told me this was growing pains, my body stretching and getting ready for the baby to grow. then we had a routine OB appointment, and he couldnt find a heartbeat! I could not believe it, I had to go into hospital and deliver our baby boy the very next day? the midwives were fantastic and very compassionate, it only took me an hour to deliver him, with no pain, then I had to have a D&C to remove the placenta. We saw him, and have photos of him. we called him Joel Bennett. I have spent the last 7 days in a complete daze, I dont know who I am without him, he held all our future and hopes and dreams. we love him more than anything. needless to say our christmas has not been full of celebration. today is the first day I feel like some sort of human again. I must be starting to heal because all I can think of is trying again. I feel like I should wait 3 months to let my body heal but I dont know if I can? I feel scared of getting pregnant again, I dont think I can be excited until the day we have a healthy baby? I feel for all of you that have been through a misscarraige or more than one, it is the worst experience ever to lose something that you love so much. my family tells me not to give up and that we have to try again and again and again. It is all still so raw. I was just wondering if anyone has had to deliver thier baby at 17 weeks, and then how long the doctors have told them to wait to TTC after that? obviously I am still bleeding, and havent got af yet, but I just wanted to know what the doctors say?
my thoughts are with you all. Mon x ↑
I had to deliver our ds at 21w in June this year. We didn't even ask our dr. how long to wait to ttc, it was the furthest thing from our minds. In Sept. we kind of thought about it and our doc gave us the go ahead to ttc. Also, I bled for 5 1/2 weeks afterward and it took almost 8 weeks for my af to come again. When you are ready, good luck! ↑
thanks for responding squished. we are going to our sons burial tomorrow, so I really cant think past that at the moment. I dont know what it is going to be like but we just need to say goodbye, and see where he (Joel) is going to be. I had my first day back at work today, it wasnt as bad as I thought, however one lady said 'hi mum how are you!' she obviously didnt hear the news yet, and I was sitting behind a desk so she couldnt see my stomach. also one of my closest friends is being induced at past 40 weeks tomorrow at 3pm, so she is having a healthy baby on the same day I bury mine..... all I can say is bring on 2007, its got to be a good year. ↑
I just had a miscarriage in febuary13th and i was 18 weeks.. We were given options to give birth or get a dng done.. We decided to give birth.. It is the same as giving birth to a full term baby. .You will still contract.. Be strong.. The thing that helped me was seeing my son after he was boran.. And getting him cremated so he can stay with me always.. My husband is in the military so we kept his ashes in a yarn.. I was scared to see him but to be able to atleast hold him and say good bye helped me alot.. Im sorry for your this.. I know what you are going thro. I cry all the time but just try to be strong.. God Bless.. ↑
hello everyone my heart goes out to you all my sorry is ive had 2 miscarriages one which i had to deliver in at the end of dec when i was nealy 5 months,got preg again within 2 months then lost yet another baby 2 weeks ago which like you all understand is very hard to cope with.you was saying mhardstone you dont no how long you should wait but the doc told me the reason i may have lost my second one could b cause my body not healed enough but at the end of the day i still dont feel like i can wait a couple of months its hard when you want somethink so much,its as if you cant think bout anything else.just want you all to no i understand how you feel and my heart goes out to you all,hope that all made sence thinkin of you all x ↑
Hi, so sorry to hear of everyone's losses! Life is just not fair!! I like many others seem to have had my fair share of bad luck with pregnancies! I gave birth at 22 weeks, induced labour for 26 hours, naturally it was not a nice thing to go through! Following that 8 years ago, I have had 3 miscarriages (still no baby yet!). My 3 miscarriages were 6 weeks, 7 weeks & 11 weeks. I still light a candle for the first little boy every year, its even harder as I had him on Boxing Day & Christmas should be a happy occasion! Its my way of remembering him. The miscarriages were slightly easier to cope with. I am going to try once more, before going for tests for hormone problems etc. just wonder if it could be 5th time lucky! It makes it even harder as my partner already has a child with someone else & although I had always wanted a big family, I would now just be happy with one! It will happen when the time is right & I try not to let it take over my life. Everyone just stay positive, realise you are not alone & also feel very grateful that 'even though we may have miscarriages, we can still get pregnant', many woman can't at all & my heart goes out to all of them! ↑
hi guys Im back,its been a few months and Im sure you all know things slowly get better with time and although I would never wish the same on anyone, its comforting to know that there are others that have been through the same thing. I just wanted to let everyone know as well that my OB said there is no need to wait after a late miscarraige as long as you are mentally ready he told us to start trying straight away. We did wait a couple of months because we were still grieving and basically living in a daze. We have started trying again and the frustating part is that it is not happening for us as quick as we had hoped, but nothing goes to plan does it! So after lots of up and downs, Im saying whatever will be will be! I think my body has only just started to get back to some sort of normal, not to mention my mind. I am currently 6dpo, and hoping this will be our year, as in mine, and all of yours. I will be hoping for all of you to get the baby that we all so badly wish for! ↑
I gave birth to my first born on Tuesday morning and I was only 18 weeks. I was hoping for a boy and that is what I had my son Lucas. He was already gone when he came out but they dressed his little 7 oz., body and we got to hold him. I feel like I;m empty and will never be happy again. I want a baby since I was little I think thats the best gift in the world. I keep reading for happy endings. I want to try again as soon as my husband and I can. Is it hard conceiving again? ↑
cjp0611 - I lost my baby last week. My baby was 15 1/2 weeks old but I was 18 weeks along. My husband and I also decided not to look at the baby or find out the sex. We know that, down the road, we can go to the hospital and look at the pictures. I think all people handle this differently and there are no right and wrong decisions. ↑
I want to start out by saying how sorry I am for all of your losses. I had my first miscarriage at 6 weeks and am currently 18 weeks pregnant again. There has not been a day that goes by that I don't worry about something happening this time around. Can any of you please tell me what your symtoms were, if you had any? Thank you. I hope you feel better. ↑
My husband and I lost our twin baby girls on Monday December 3rd, I was just over 20 weeks pregnant. It has only been a week, but it feels like a lifetime ago, the time has been moving so slow. I am very sorry for your loss as I can definetly sympathize with what you are going through. ↑
Losing a baby at any stage of a pregnancy is heartwrenching. My husband and I lost our first baby, Brooke, this past August at almost 41 weeks to a cord accident (3 times around her neck). It's strange because ti seems like time has flown by, but in many ways it's also dragging. I have to wait til my husband's job situation works out with good health insurance before we can TTC again. We just moved about 8 weeks ago and are still adjusting. I find myself being able to cope and move on, yet I still struggle, especially this time of year. Definitely not how I imagined this Christmas. All I know is that we can not live in fear that this will happen again. If we do, think of how many joys God has planned for us that we might miss out on. ↑
i also had a miscarriage oct 20 and me and my husband decided no to see the baby. but as time has past i regret it so much the good thing is that my sister took a picture wich i am not ready to see right know i was 16 wks and 3rd miscarriage ↑
My heart goes out to you, I also had to deliver my daughter at 22 weeks pregnant just over 6 weeks ago. As painful as it is, I am determined to get pregnant again and be a mum, I believe that is the best antidote to my grief. Giving birth as opposed to a D&C was very cathartic, I feel like a proper mum and she was and is my baby. Dont give up, ask your doctor lots of questions, there maybe something you can do next time. xxx ↑
I had a missed miscarriage. I lost the baby at 17 weeks but didn't find out until 20 weeks. I went in for a level 2 ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. The doctors thing the umbilical cord wrapped around the babies neck too many times. I am waiting for the autopsy to be sure. My husband and I did not want to know the gender or see or hold the baby and that was right for us. If I ever want, the memory box is at the hospital. This was our first child and it has been so difficult, especially because so many people at my job have just had healthy babies and I am the only miscarriage at the same time (Feb 1). Overall I now have good days, but sometimes is is very tough. My heart goes out to all of you. ↑
Im sorry for you loss. I lost my baby boy when i was 20 wks from pre-mature labor. The only advise i can give you is hold and lay with your baby
it hurts really bad but it will give you a sense of closure
One thing the nurse told me is that
"The baby is God's baby and he just took the baby back for some reason beyond our control and when your body and the baby is ready he'll give the baby back" just remember that God makes us, so your baby is being taken care of and is in the safest place in the world. ↑
i am sorry for everyone's losses. i know some people have not written in this post for months, if not a couple of years. it would be nice to hear from Little T and/or Tanya since it's been about 2-3 years. hopefully, they have success stories to share. we found out we lost our first baby 3 weeks ago. i was 17 weeks. it was devastating, but knowing that our baby is in heaven has helped us cope. maybe our kids are giving each other company, which to me is a very nice thought that our son is not alone. how long have you ladies waited to ttc again? i want to ttc asap, but my dr. said to wait 2 cycles. i am growing impatient and would love to start trying now, but i want to be back in the best condition for our next baby, God willing, and don't know whether waiting after 1 cycle is too soon. any advice or experiences anyone has to share? ↑
Hi Everyone ,Judi Sarah, I agree with you when you say that our kids are keeping each other company, its a nice thought. It's been 3 months and 3 days now since I lost my son Lucas, and I'm hoping that God blesses us this month so that by our anniversary and Christmas we will have a baby to celebrate with. The day I delivered and lost Lucas, was 4 days before our wedding anniversary. So pray for us and I'll be praying for all of you TTC. God Bless. ↑
NIAPOET - i am sorry for your loss. I just said a prayer for you and your family to be blessed with a beautiful, healthy child who will have God's guidance. thank you for your prayers. good luck on trying! maybe we'll get pg together! ↑
hi everyone I saw that a couple of people on here wanted to hear good news stories from people who posted here a while ago and I am glad to say that I am one of them. I was on this sight looking up sleeping patterns for 7 week old babies and stumbled across this post. I now have a 7 week old son called Ryder and I believe he is my little miricale! I just want to say to all of you that I totally understand what you are going through, but dont ever give up it can happen and ryder is the proof, we still dont know why we had the previous miscarraiges or, why Ryder was the one to make it through, Its just the way it happened but you just have to keep on trying no matter what you have to do and it will happen for you eventually.. my heart goes out to all of you... ↑
