Well me and my boyfriend were together for 10 months and i had a miscarriage. We broke up because he said "it wasn't meant to be if we lost the baby." Well we still messed around and i got pregnant again and now he's with someone else. He says he still loves me and thinks about me but that he loves her now too. What can I do to get him to understand that him and I are going to be parents together? Do you think he will come back? ↓
Hello Nessa; Why would u want him back when its so obvious that he doesn't care about you or the baby.Sorry to say that but he lacks maturity and how do u think that would affect your baby anyway?You are better off on your own so that you can be a more positive role model for your child.He needs to grow up.Try finding yourself some support within your family or community.You do not deserve to be treated like that from him and neither does your baby.You are still young and have a whole life ahead of you.Don't let him play you.He will come back as long as you let him but it will be no other reason except what got u pregnant in the first place. Be strong,ok! ↑
Hey Nessa - hope that everything is going ok. I found out I was pregnant at 21. My boyfriend and I have a house together but I was still petrified of telling him that I was pregnant as it was completely unplanned - so I can't imagine how you must feel at 17. After I told him he wanted to keep it but I swore to myself that the only way that I myself would not get rid of it was if I was sure that if the worst case scenario happened (ie. he left me later on down the track) that I could handle it and handle having a baby on my own. So while he was busy going through our finances and working out if we were in a situation to have this child - I was also doing the same thing in my head. Once I knew that I could handle it on my own I have felt so much more confidant and less worried. Don't ever think that you need to rely on a man especially where pregnancy is the issue. If I were you I would carry myself along under the presumption that he was not going to come back - that way you will be able to deal with it if he doesn't. And if he does come back - it's a bonus! best of luck to you!! ↑
I know how heard it is to be strong and think you can do it on your own when everyone tells u dont worry about him its really hard,I`m in my second trimester of pregnancy im only 18 and the father doesnt even call to see how the baby is doing anymore.But just keep telling yourself you can do it and everything will be okay because you can.It will all get better. ↑
nessa, i feel for you...i am going through a similar situation and it is the hardest thing i have ever done. i pray every day that the father of my child (my ex-fiance) will come back into our lives. i am 17 weeks pregnant, and am here for you to talk to... ↑
Hey, I just want to say that I'm a few days off 17 and im seven months pregnant and ive never being happier! My baby's father and then long-time boyfriend left me when I was 20 weeks pregnant, and now that it's happened, I'm glad he did, because men like that aren't worth it. At first I was so depressed I wouldn't eat and I could barely walk and I had panic attacks everywhere, yet now that time has passed and I understand that only men that are worth it stay with you, I've never being happier! Every second of my life is a joy, especially when I feel him kicking and pushing inside me! So just be strong, and believe it's going to be alright. 'Coz as a friend of mine once said, it's belief that gets you there. ↑
well nessa i am going through the same kind of problem me and my ex paul got together 4 months ago and i found out that i am 8 wks preggie and well he has a little boy from someone else and she just had a little girl she claims is from him i am 17 and in a mth i will be 18 i have recently been told they have been messing around behind my back with her and so i walked away i know its hard but i need to think of me and the baby now even though he says that he wants to be a family but i don't want to be dumb so i guess i have to be strong ↑
Nessa,
I am 28 and I've been where you're at and got pregnant. I thought that a baby would bring us together, when in reality he didn't want the big responsibility...but I promise you later he will regret missing out on his childs life. I ended up marrying my boyfriend when my son was 9 months old, but we divorced when he was three. Sometimes it's just better to let them go, but I know its hard emotionally, especially when now he is involved with someone else, which really hurts, and you're having his baby. Anyone can be a dad, but it takes a special man to be a father....and there are some out there that would love too! Don't settle for less. ↑
Nessa, GIRL! You can do this by yaself! You don't need him. He is doin' you wrong! Never lower ya standards for anybody, it doesn't matter if you're expectations are high, you deserve them. Don't take him back or think about him twice, you know you can find a man who treat's you like the Princess you are. So with that being said I am going to end this and drop a period. ↑
Hi Nessa; I was in a predicament at one time in my life. Actually just in February of 2005 i got pregnant. I had a boyfriend that was 19, who already had a 1 yr. old son, that he didnt have anything to do with! I also was still screwing around with my ex-boyfriend of 4 1/2 yrs. I still loved my ex very much, but thought i loved my new boyfriend. I didn't know who the father was between the two. It was the most difficult time in my life as an adult. I am 21. I want to tell you the whole story! I know you have a lot of questions and mixed feelings; so you should e-mail me at: lovefool_x0x0@yahoo.com. I will be here for you!!!
Sincerely... ↑
what is there to get him to understand ? ... ' he knows ' Whatever way you are able to share the child with him is your only option ... simply meaning don't force the child and yourself at him but you should ask him how he wants to be involved if at all ? How do you feel about it WITH and WITHOUT him back in your life ? ↑
It is alright to be a single mom. There are alot of them that is. I know it is going to be hard if you love him because i went through the same thing but my boyfriend didnt want it. So we had to break up. You can find someone else that will be there for you and as well as your kid. I wouldnt worry about it. A baby needs a mother more and maybe you can find someone that will be there for you. It will be alright just dont stress cause it isn't good for the baby. ↑
Look I know how hard this is but I'm telling you forget him while you can. I have a 2 year old girl that's biological father is no where around. My boyfriend that I'm with now is who she calls Daddy and they love each other very very much, and now we are having a new addition to the family, sometimes you have to except that he might not want the baby as much as you, but I promise there is someone out there that wants to watch your child grow just as much as you do. Leave the loser, you and your baby will be fine. ↑
Hi, hang in there; I am 29 but my fiancé of 5 died and left be and the baby alone. I am a strong confident woman with a professional career. My reply to Banana's comment (you are obviously a man or a really mean hateful person just the same. Do something with you life rather than to insult woman in any shape or form. I beginning to think there is not hope for men anymore they are going to live and die empty, without and real meaning to their lives. Too bad for them
Let’s think about us and support each other and pay no attention to anyone hurtful. We need to be strong together and ever though it seems impossible we have to!
Hi Iam 17 years old and turning 18 next year 2006, I think that Iam pregnant because I took a ovulated test and it came out a positive, and then I took a pregnancy test at Mt Shasta over to Hannahs house, and it came out a positive. I do want to have a baby, but my boyfriend just turned 22 and I am scared because we are only 5, 6 months apart and we really love eachother. I dont want any thing to happen to him. The reason why we only did it because we love eachother. I heard about the laws and I dont even know what to do. I dont want him to go to jail or court just because he got me pregnant. Yes we did you protection before, but I am really scared for him, I dont want anything to happen to him. We both love eachother alot, and I would cry if hes in jail. My heart hurts to see him put up like this, I just want them to leave him alone. I can trust him because he always wanted to be a baby daddy. He really loves kids and I do to. All I want is a normal family. I dont want to raise this kid on my own. His baby needs him. We both need him. I know his parents would be happy if we had a kid. I promise to stay true to me, since Ived been with him for so long we are already living with eachother. We treat eachother like we are already married. He is a good father because I seen him treat kids really good. He never cheated on me, cause he was looking for someone to love. He found me and our love came so much closer then I never had before. I just want this to be normal like other familys. I had friends like this who ended up with the same situations. But me I am scared for him, cause he just turned 22 last september 3 in 2005. My homies please help and support me and my loveable boyfriend. ↑
Gurl, it happened to me and i cried for days not knowing what to do, where to go. i had nobody i was so depredded it took me 2 months to get over the fact he left me pregnant with his child. as the 2 months passed i began seeing other men and i told him i was pregnant he didn't care things were going good between us. i decided to get an abortion so i called my ex to tell him but his phone was broken so i left a message a couple of days went by when i got a phone call from him he was crying asking me to take him back i did. i broke the other mans heart and i didn't get the abortion now im 6 1/2 months pregnant with my babys daddy. i had so many chances to get the abortion done but i didn't for some reason i kept putting it off "like they say God makes things happen for a reason" ↑
If he really loves you he'll want to take care of you and your child.That child needs both of you and he needs to understand that.Like I said before if he really loves you he'll come back for you and your child. ↑
the best thing is too look at your future with out him in it..its hard but its better to be prepared than counting on the fact that he may come back...being a mom at any age is scary and hard dont get me wrong it had its rewards and you will love your baby , but if your not ready there is always a family out there who would love a baby, the best thing to do is put the baby first im assuming you still have to finish school so really make that a goal i had my son my jr year of high school and i placed him for adoption. I finished school and am in collage now to be a dr. I know one day i can look at him and say he was the best thing that ever happend to me and i am proud to be able to say i gave him the best future possible. It will always hurt but i can live with pain knowing he is loved and cared for far better than i could have done at 17. what ever you decide good luck and your in my prayers. ↑
I know what Nessa is goin through seeing as I am going through it myself. TO be honest it's the exact same thing. Only I am older than she is. There are days I wish he would come back to me and then there are days I'm happy he is gone. I've come to see that the only thing I can hope for is that he will be a father to his child. Nessa that can be the only thing you should hope for. The baby won't fix what went wrong. Just be strong, lean on the ppl closest to you and it will get better. ↑
Hey,I'm 18 and i have a 4 month old and her dad was not good for her so i left him... girl you will get over him and someone better will come in your life! ↑
Hey,I'm 18 and i have a 4 month old and her dad was not good for her so i left him... girl you will get over him and someone better will come in your life! ...just like me. ↑
Nessa, I know it hurts, but if a guy says he loves you and another girl, then he doesn't actually love either of you. Would you really want someone back that you could never trust? You know you always have a support group here. One day you will meet a man who will treat you right, if you demand the respect you deserve. You look out for you and that little one! HUGS! ↑
nessa the guy doesnt love you. i don't even need to know him personally to be able to tell that. the facts speak for themselves, he left you when you went through the probably the biggest grieving period of your life when you lost your baby and he just left, nastier still, he used such horrible words. he also then went on to use you for someone easy to sleep with (lots of ex bf's try this one because they find their ex gives in to sex easily because she might still be under the impression that them sleeping together insinutates that he 'loves' her still and therefore just put up with it). why would you want him back? you have to learn to love yourself and learn that you deserve much better than that, you and your baby deserve better. i personally think he is just saying he loves you because he doesnt want you to be utterly devastated, when in reality he is probably focusing all his attention on his next vulnerable victim. you don't need to get him to understand you are going to be parents, he should be mature enough to know that making a woman pregnant makes him a father (whether he acts like one is another story though). i would really recommend you look this book up on the internet, its called 'he's just not that into you' and its by Sherry Argov. its brilliantly written and it boosts your confidence, it lets you know what to accept and what not to accept, because lets face it, all us women have probably been clinging onto a pitiful man just for the sake of thinking we 'need' a man. have a nosey for it, and don't whatever you do, try chasing your ex up! ↑
