He left two different messages:
1st one said, "This is my attempt to reach out and care" Really? Good job f*cker, really shows. And the 2nd one said, " What is my baby girl going to be named?" All this coming from a 23 adult boy who said he wants NOTHING (and he repeated this MANY TIMES) to do with me or the baby should I choose to parent her (instead of adopt out). Seriously, I'm scratching my head this morning like WTF!!? Gotta love that booze! ↓
thank goodness you seem to have a good reaction to his drunken reaching out! Ist let me point out that he is 23 years old...that about sums it up right there! Young/dumb/and ignorant! If he REALLY cared about you, he'd be right by your side with love and support looking forward to the future with his new family! But instead you got a idiotic punk who is willing to have sex with you and even though HIS SPERM got you pregnant....he wants nothing to do with you unless the bars are closed,he's had one to many and all his friends have left him so he thinks he's got life figured out! It really aggravates me how a man can get a woman pregnant and just walk away from her like no big deal and then get mad at her for having the baby or let everyone else take care of her and that baby except him! ( hey...im a single mother...I know the type!) I don't think this guy is worth wasting any time on! Maybe he won't even remember his loving attempt to show you how much he cares! LMAO !! ↑
He IS reaching out in his way and it took him a while. Please try not to push him away from here on out, but try to encourage him. What if a woman's initial thought when she got pregnant was to abort or adopt, then weeks later changes her mind.....she too can be forgiven and become a good mom. Peoples reactions to unplanned pregnancies (and planned for that matter) can be very irrational at first! He IS and WILL ALWAYS be your child's father, so do you best to be the better one and help promote some kind of decent relationship between the too. ↑
Wow krc, sounds like you are a bit judgemental and bitter due to your unfortunate situation. 1st being 23 does not mean you are "dumb and ignorant" (what if the mom posting this is younger!). Maybe he is a scared weak guy, but to call him an "idioic punk" is over the top. Colleen hope you can muster up the strength and courage and foster a relationship. I mean, you slept with the guy so OBVIOUSLY you saw some good qualities in him. Try to focus on the good and be positive and of course good luck! ↑
well i'm 23 also, but krc's post didn't really offend me...i assume its common knowledge women are more mature then men for most of their adult lives. lol. yes a harsh stereotype i know, but one ive adopted when dealing with this guy. Anyways, he sent me a text message later that day saying he wants to move to Milwaukee (where I live, he lives about an hour from here) and be a part of our little girls life. I am so shocked b/c I had lost a lot of faith in him. Now next wknd he is gonna come to town and we're going to talk. Iona, I don't plan to push him away but I also don't plan on just knocking down all the walls right away either. I don't trust him right now and with good reason. I will just have to find the right balance when we talk and make sure that he knows my door is always open, I just may not be home for awhile. My guard is no doubt still up. I'm being cautiously optimistic. ↑
okay okay...so I was hard on the guy!! I don't know him so I guess I was lashing out on the stereotype. I'm glad you weren't offended colleen. As for my own personal situation......my son's father is a decent guy and nothing like the type of guy I was venting about. Lunamoo does make a good point about how it can take some people awhile to get over the initial shock and let reality sink in. And if he is willing to make sacrifices to be closer to you for the baby then maybe the future has a brighter beginning. I wish you good luck ! ↑
i'm not making excuses for this guy by any means, but i have to say, a man being 23 doesn't make him dumb or ignorant. my husband is 21 and acts way more mature than his age. kick him in the butt. sounds like he needs it. lunamoo: this wasn't weeks later, though. and that's actually a completely different scenario. trying to decide to adopt or abort and not doing anything either way is not the same as running out on someone when they need you. ↑
soooo...I talked to him last week Monday for an hour. He apologized sincerely and said that he understands if I don't trust him again right away (which I don't and won't) but that he meant what he said in the text and wants to come back to Milwaukee. He said that he pushed me and everyone else in his life away that was trying to talk to him about the situation...all in hopes that he could pretend it wasnt real, and that once he found out it was a baby girl and heard her due date that he just cracked. Which i suppose makes sense. BUT it's still like, "ok buddy i understand your feelings but most certainly not your actions." It's quite crazy too b/c even when we weren't talking for months, I was hearing through mutual friends that he was still really hoping I'd put the baby up for adoption. Talk about a complete 180. I still don't quite get it...probably won't ever. ↑
