I rather enjoy this too..but I would like to correct you..nobody should ever hold anything against the child, the wife knows it is not her bi child but it is her stepchild and I know many women and men who do love their stepchildren I do believe that you can not accept the fact that the wife is ok with everything and will accept this child as part of HER family...A real wife would ↑
He trys to come back ALL THE TIME! I told him to go home to the woman that makes him so unhappy...that is what he deserves. But if it helps you sleep to think you "won" go for it...ya got yourself a real prize sweetie! ↑
She says no contact...she is ridiculous. Despite my crabbing on here I have been beyond civil to her and she really just sees it as a matter of winning and losing. She was not willing to lose to the less attractive other woman. ↑
Yes I admit it...I am less attractive than her. Mainly in the stereotypical sense because she is very thin petite and I am a little more curvy. So the whole conversation about the fat, ugly mistress earlier was kinda funny to me! ↑
would everyone who does not have any type of advice that is beneficial to the women who are speaking out for support, etc..find another place to quote your ignorant thoughts because when we are telling our stories it is not to be judged again, it is to help us get through the mistakes that have already been made...and I too have a beautiful son so there is no comparison between having the "man" Or your child becuae I love my child more than I ever loved him. These men are the problem and that is the real truth, and as one posting said, that they try to come back all the time, you were right to advise him to go back to the "wife" that makes him so unhappy..because if they are that truly unhappy then they would really leave before bringing another woman in to the picture....so to the ones that really want to talk and get some support there are those like me that are here to truly help and listen ..EVEN OUT OF MESS GOD WILL BLESS....Thanks ↑
When I first got on this messages board I was really happy to know that this shit really happens It wasn't just my man a cheater. But I was to support me try to help me understand why woman will allow this but know this is a mess...... ↑
Sounds like someone on this is really mad at the world. Whoever responded to the passer by. Sounds like you were just screwed and left. You are Not coping with it very well. So sorry!!! ↑
It's really not just the man fault....its the ladies that do say no the first time or when they find out.....when you and everyone else start saying NO then they will stop cheating, duh!!! ↑
Dido to Understanding! And you are right Lisa it is a mess on here. There are very real and serious situations that need figured out on here and all the back and forth bantering is getting us know where (although there have been a few good lines here and there ;) I have yet to see any of the "other woman" insult the wives to the degree that the wives have insulted the other woman...and as the other woman I know (at least in my case and a couple others) there is plenty of room for some serious fingure pointing. IT IS THE MANS FAULT...and as Dr.Phil would say HE NEEDS TO OWN IT! ↑
is it still all the mans fault when the other woman tells the man that "even if you decide to go back to your wife, I do not mind being the other woman." Is it still all on the man? ↑
It is still the mans fault, he is still the one with a commitment to his wife, he is still the one cheating! However, that is a dumb woman with no common sense or class! There is no defense for either persons behavior! ↑
that person just made it sound like it is the mans fault alone. I think it goes both ways. Sure the man has made a commitment, but I think that the other woman should have enough self worth to say "no, I am not going to ever do that, you should go home to your wife, you are a sorry excuse for a man." She should also think about how she would feel if she was the unsuspecting wife. I just think that it should not be put on only the man, but also the other woman ↑
that these women who are having affairs with married men think they are the hurt & innocent ones. They say the wives are stupid for staying with their husbands, trying to hold babies over the mans head thinking they are running something. I think the "other" women need to REALLY think about how would they feel if the situation was reversed. I am sure everybodies outlook would be VERY different. ↑
You stated that the wives are insulting the "other" women more than vice versa..I WONDER WHY!!! Could it be because the wives have not done ANYTHING TO THE "other" women...but the "other" women slept with their husband?? I WONDER???? ↑
I didn't sleep with any of your husbands and I have not called you any names. THAT is my point. The people on here are stangers and every situation is different...maybe you are all innocent, perfect wives that are really doing the best you can for the child. However, I have insulted the wife in MY situation because I know her and what she has done wrong. The general insults are really unneccesary. I know how I would feel if the situation was reversed I would think my husband was a loser and say enjoy the life that you just chose. Same thing I am saying to him now! It isn't actually about me, him or her. It is about the baby and doing what is right by her. She is innocent! ↑
I would like to point out NOBODY has has bad mouth a child on here at all. I am sure everybody know it is not the childs fault for the mistakes of the parents. But that is just it...BOTH parents, not just the fathers or mothers... BOTH.. and no you may have slept with these husbands, but you have slept with sombodies and I mean no offense towards you, as I do not know you I just know it is wrong to sleep with a married man but at the same time it has been happening for YEARS.. and for women who think their husband have never cheated maybe they haven't but give it a few years..ALL men cheat sometime. ↑
To NEW2MOTHERHOOD..don't let these other women upset you and keep u from posting as I stated earlier that there are those of us, Like me, who have been in your situation and understand how it could happen.because i too have a 9 month old son that is a product of mine and another womans husband mistake...Don't explain yourself to these women, becuase some are so bitter that they need some one to vent on and it would be you, or me.. if you want to talk then I will be here..and as fot the last commetn before mine that said, "try not to sleep with anyones husband this week" that is so childish because I do not know of a single person that goes around looking for married men to have sex with, grow up and find another site..also u are wasting to much of your negative energy by even typing anything because WE do not want to hear it from you because the deed is donem the babies are here and the f**king is over now, so we can't take it back... ↑
find your own damn man. It make me sick that there are so many women out there that will sleep with a married man. Do you have no self respect...it does not matter if they are seperated, saying they are going to get divorce whatever..you DO NOT sleep with a married man...he will not be with you..all he wants is a piece of ass and you stupid women are giving it up..I feel sorry for the kids born in this...I would be so ashamed...good luck you are gonna need it........ ↑
To whatever..hope you feel good now, because I will not even go there with you and waste my energy trying to reason with someone who obviously has no sense of understanding or forgiveness for others. ↑
ok - so im one of these woman who got pregnant by a married guy and was stupid enough for the past 5 years of dating him to think hed ever leave. it started out as a lie for 2 and half years that he was divorced - i worked for him during the day then he lived in MY apartment at night os it was believable - till i started to wonder why his "es wife" still didnt know about me - well i ran into her and the truth came out that he was never divorced and she thought he had 2 bussinesses thats why he was never around - see im a fool - shes stupid!! well i tried to get away - even moved out of stae - he made it IMPOSSIBLE he wouldnt let me go - told me he had cancer to get me back home - then when i came back - he gave me fake divorce papers - i kept trying to get away and deeop down i loved him and wanted to believe him so for periods at a time - i stayed - now i work for him again for the past year - the wife knows - he claims hes leaving when his youngest son gets older - bull - cause now his youngest is in me - im 29 years old and have had 2 abortions - no regrets - now im having trouble - my family considers me "dead" now if i have this baby - well im 16 weeks pregnant and have my 4th abortion appt - i think i have to do this - i really do - i want to find love - i dont want to be the other woman anymore - i dont think ill ever meet a man with a child - what am i gonna tell this baby boy ?? that his dad prefers his other children ?? im screwed and have till this friday to be comfortable with my decision. HELP someone just give me answers i cant take it anymore - ps he does not want me to have an abortion - he thinks im stupid if i do - he wants me to have this baby and thinks it will bring me joy - blah blah blah - he just wants to piss on this territory too so he can have his cake and eat it too - i feel like its too late for abortion - although its not - i have no support except from him ↑
To: HELP FAST, hey I do no know where to begin..First off, I have a 9 month old by a married man and let be honest be with you it is a vhallenge to have a baby by any man, not only marrid but single.. I have a question though, you said your family considers you "dead" if you have the baby, what do you mean by that, a family is supposed to be there when no one else is and to let anyone pressure you into ending the life of your child because it does not fit their "ideal situation" is wrong..If you haven't noticed yet, a lot of, well most is not the idealistic way people want and you have to live with your decisions about the abortion..To be honest with you, it is too late because your baby is 16 wekks old inside you and it has abeating heart..i am here to support you because no matter what you do in life, there is someone who will piss in your breakfaast each morning and try ro make things harder..One thing I know is that your man is not leaving his wife and wants you to have this baby to bwe in your life forever, so you have to realize that you will be a single mother, even if only for a while and you will have to deal with him..If you ever loved him having the baby will put you through so many emotional ups and downs but you can survive...AS far as meeting a man with a child, well I have three children and I met a lot, you just have to look at relationships different and not bring any type of man around your child,,because if a man truly loves you or interested in you, then he will love anything that comes with you..I feel so mucg for you because I have and am still inyour situation but it has been a daily struggle to tolerate this man who decived me also, one thing I know is that I love this baby, he brings me so much joy and one day I will tell him the truth because we are all human and make mistakes, people wantg to throw stomes at you and need them thrown right back..I am getting ready to get my children ready for school and I will check later to see if you posted..Remember Even Out Of Mess God Will Bless.... ↑
thanks for writing back - im freaking out over this - why did it take me so long to realize that i should have had an abortion - i gre attached to the baby and ive been taking care of him - then it hit me - im all alone! its almost impossible - i mean he says he will be there - but how much can he really be there!!??? i thought that if i go through with this late abortion that its my out and opportunity to get him out of my life forever because i will resent him that i am in this position of having to make a decision like this when all these years "he was leaving his wife" as for my parents - its so hard because i was "close" to them - my mom is starting to come around in a phony way - they are humiliated by this and my father just said he cinsiders me "dead"!! this isnt a soap opera - you kill me off i dont come back to life!! at first they said i have no options and i had to get an abortion - i faught for months - also - their "community" is very strict and traditional - they now live in florida but are here in NY all the time to visit all there friends from church - so they will be humiliated by this - not only am i not married - im pregnant by a married man - so as for you - thanks for sharing your story - its tough - im scared and you are confident about being able to shar this story with your baby? is your baby a boy or girl? do you have support from family?
thanks so much ↑
Not all good things in life are easy! Yes it is going to be a uphill battle but having a that precious little one with makes every stuggle worth making the tough choices. My family is also very strict and religious and I had to face the same type of criticisms but I choose to keep the baby. Honestly, it is the best decision of my life. My family and the church have ended up being very supportive. I could go on forever about the ups and downs in the whole thing but I won't. Let me just say it really does get easier!!!!!! I know it is so generic to hear things like that and you may think but "you don't know......." whatever it may be but it doesn't matter. You are having a beautiful innocent baby that will be a blessing. I'd be happy to talk more but I gotta go now. Please try and focus on the positive - there really is positive you just may have to dig a little to find it. Chin up! ↑
