You guys say there are all these reasons why a man will not leave his wife....bank accounts, children, guilt and so on...Let me explain something to you..when a man is truly in love none of that can hold a man down..if a man is more worried about his money with his wife...HE DON'T LOVE YOU...if a man is more worried about his kids...HE DON'T LOVE YOU... if a man is felling guilty, HE DON'T LOVE YOU.. Bottom line when a man is yruly in love he will move heaven and earth to be with the person they love. Second, in one post a man told a woman that his wife is crazy, yeah that is what he's telling you, if he is lying to his own wife, what makes you believe he won't lie to you? The man is buying time! Third, my brother has had affairs on his wife and I even asked him how come he won't leave her, and he said plain and simple, and I quote "why would I leave me wife for a woman that would lower herself to screw a married guy knowing that he is married? You can't turn a whore into a housewife, if she is willing to screw me behind my wife's back, then how can I trust that she won't screw some guy behind my back, she has already proven she is not trustworthy! and anyway, I could not be with a woman that is stupid enough to believe my lies when it is so obvious, common I don't even spen the night with any of them!" So there you go ladies...right from a man's mouth! You cannot call the wife stupid because she is supposed to trust her husband, but for a woman to KNOW that a man is married and lying to his wife, how can you trust him when it is right in your face!!! Keep convincing yourselves that he loves you!!! ↑
to the person who wrote to all: your brother is telling you a bunch of crap...he wont leave his wife because he is a dog..just because awoman sleeps with a married man dont mean she wil cheat on him.. there are men everyday that leave for other women and those who dont, it is a personal choice..I slept with a married man and believe me, i have not ever cheated on anyone i have been with, he told me he wa sin the middle of a divorce and he spent the night..I hate it when people spout off at the mouth and dont put individual circumstances at hand..every situation is different so who cares what you think ↑
you know, I can tell by your tone that you have that you have slept with a married guy...you did not have to tell me!! No my brother was just being honest with me when I asked why he would not leave his wife he told me, but of course you would think it was a pile of crap...God forebid if you mistresses have an open mind, but we are all supposed to be understanding as to why you slept with a married man...we are supposed to only have an open mind when it comes to you guys...I never said that it never happens,but it is very rare for a husband to leave his wife that he has had a marriage with and memories with for someone he has had to keep hidden and is willing to be on the side, that shows lack of dignity, and you want to talk about men being dogs, what about the women that are spreading their legs for these dogs...men are only dogs if women allow them to be! You say I am shooting off at the mouth, no I just struck a nerve with you and said something that made sense that you did not want to hear. Maybe if you women would stop being on the side, it would show men how to respect a women, especially his wife...and how can you accept yourself for sleeping with a married man when indeed you would not like to end up with a man who cheats on you...you people sound ignorant. I don't know how you feel like you won something by men leaving their wives...proud to hurt a family, proud that he had to dump someone for you...what should you be proud of if he leaves his wife, proud that you won an asshole that cheated and lied to someone, I really don't see anything positive that comes out of all this...all I keep hearing is excuses....you guys are saying that the wives are dumb..well if he does leave her, at least to find out the truth she did not have to resort to being a side piece of hidden ass, nothing is worse then being a side piece and then having a man dump you cold, or better yet nothing is worse then being a side piece of ass only to win a lying cheating snake that will most likely do it to you..then when you catch him, he will tell you to remember how he met you in the first place....but if I were you mistresses, I would keep on pretending like you are the shit and the wife is "dunb"...lolol...ignorance! ↑
oh, and by the way another thing, even if a man ends up with his mistress...how does she know he even chose her? For all the mistress knows, his wife left him and that is the only reason why he is with the mistress, gee, If I was single, I would rather date a single man and KNOW that he is supposed to be with only me...but that is just me. ↑
I just dont get why it is the wife has to cop so much grief from you girls?
And i cant understand how you can sleep at night knowing how much you have destroyed
a family cause of your own selfish needs.
Look in most cases he will never tell the wife about you unless he is walking out the door with his bags or has been caught.
Hes not that stupid and your right how do you know he chose you his wife more then likely
gave him his bags and KICKED him out the door so he just came to you saying your the one...
and here we are again you still remain second best.
Im not sying you are all to blame the husband is as much at fault as you are im not denying that.
i just wish you girls would stop and think about his wife at home whom you dont know
and even though her husband is a cheating prick she just might be a nice person.
Just like you girls probably were before you shagged our husband.
These men really aren't happy with there wives. The divorce rate isn't almost fifty percent because men are happy and women opt out! Sometimes he just doesn't want her anymore for any number of reasons. ↑
I was dating and had a child with a married but legally seperated man. He did go back to his wife and occasionally would try and come back to me. For the most part I left him/them alone only contacting them in regards to our child and I always call her first so she would know what was going on. Recently he came to me and said he wanted to work things out with me and had a whole game plan on how he would right his wrongs for the past two years. She knows about it and is fighting it all the way. Now I find out that she has/is cheating on her husband with a mutual friend of ours. If he knew it would definately be the push he needed to get out of the marriage but my friend told me in confidence and despite the affair I really am a honest, trustworthy person. I am in such a dilema....the information I have could mean the difference in by daughters father being around full time or not....it is such a soap opera ↑
to "i have a question", you have opened yourself up to a lot of critism by posting on here but I am replying to you to not criticize. ;) Just keep an open mind and heart and allow yourself to trust your beliefs. As for letting him know about his wife cheating I think you would be taking on a huge challenge and him coming to you would not be of his own devices. If you know of a way of him finding out w/out it coming directly from you then then you can’t control that, but it sounds to me like you have had such a rough time with the whole situation you need to just focus on you and your baby and see what comes of things. There have been times in my own situation that the father of my baby has done and said things that I felt his wife should know considering he has been vowing to her 100% honesty and open communication but I have stepped back and not wanted to be the one creating more havoc in all our lives. I am due to deliver our baby in about a month, and from one day to the next this past 8 months have been extremely draining on both of us not too mention others around us. At this moment I have chose to just try my hardest to stay away from drama, emotional sabotage, and similar situations. I hope you can choose to act in a way that benefits your own life and that of your precious baby. Best wishes, I am here if you need to vent more!! ↑
Last year, a woman called me at midnight and told me that she was pregnant by my husband.She wanted me to leave him because he didn't want to divorce me.He was shocked too because she used to tell him that she couldn't get pregnant and wouldn't want to change his life.He asked for my forgiveness. She started to do all sorts of nasty things to irritate me.They work in the same company.She tried to stop him from coming back whenever she got chance.She stole his mobile phone and called me or sent sms to me.She made nuisance calls to me at late night.My husband doesn't want to leave me but he felt sorry for her because she was pregnant.She lied to him that she was single when they had an affair.But we found out that legally she was still married when she was pregnant.Anyway, she confessed once that she didn't want to have the child but used it as a weapon.She could make a few hours' calls, asking him to visit her whenever she felt lonely.Otherwise she would go crazy and for a few times, threathened to commit suicide.My husband sometimes sent food to her and accompany her to hospital. Now she is 8 months' pregnant already.It looks like that she is determined to get my husband.She even sent sms like "see who will smile till the end".My husband is weak and cannot handle woman like her.She is a great liar.I am thinking to leave him but we have been married for 8 years and been together for even longer.It's not so easy to erase all those memories and move on.And my husband begged me to stay with him. ↑
I am a wife too, been married to my husband for 4 years, been together for 10 years...I am 9 months preg with our first.....I had a friend of mine that had a thing for my husband, although he was flattered at first and thought nothing of it, she kept it up, my husband is home every night, we own a business together, so we are pretty much always together...my ex friend got pregnant by some blow joe and tried to say my husband and her had an affair, which everyone in our circle of friends said that was impossible, because everytime my husband would go out he went out with people that clearly knew me, and they all said that he never expressed the slightest interest in her...well this gets even better, she tried to play like she was apoligizing for the affair, and that she was planning to keep the baby, and that I would have to accept it...well my husband demanded a dna test when the baby was born, she said there was no need for that, she was basically trying to by time because she knew that the kid was not his...so then my husband wanted to know the blood type, and she said that why can't he just believe her....so needless to say she tried to harrass us through our friends, saying he left his child and our friends pretty much turned there backs on her saying that she was crazt...so she finally had the baby, and the baby looked mixed, like half black, which we already knew that it could not be his since my husband is german with bluegreen eyes and she has blond hair and blue eyes...we sued her for harassment, we sued for 100,000 and won, as for your situation you husband feels sorry for her because she is pregnant, he should feel sorry for you that you have to be put through the harrassment of both him and her....she is harrassing because he allows her, I would call the cops, and if he gets attitude about it tell him that you were his wife to start with NOT her...funny she don't feel too bad about you sleeping with your husband, calling your home, talking crap.....i had to tell my husband the same thing when he felt bad about the twit that was throwing herself at my hubby...it is the wife that suffers. ↑
To " a wife", well the first thing I want to tell you is that you may not want to hear from me but I do have a few suggestions for you.. I am the other woman and am not happy about the decisions I have made and am working everyday to correct them..but if you wantto stay with your husband it is more than your right to, I just wish you would not make excuses for him saying he is weak.... If your husband wants to make it right with you then you need to have him cut off all ties with this woman, he can not send food, he can not communicste with her because ut seems like she is out to get him OR she is hurt by the things that have taken place and can not find any other way to make "him" pay...She is calling you not because she hates you, you are the only way that she can hurt him...what I mean by that is that if there is confusion with youtwo then she knows that he is not just living so happy.. I know because when I tried to call the wife and things like that it was to get to him, to make him pay...I felt like she should leave him so that not only would I reap what i sowed by being a single parent but he would also reap it by losing what is familiar/comfortable to him...So my suggestion again is to have him call/confront her with you there and have no communication with her until she has baby or goes in labor whicever one you decided and tell her that he will not speak to her again until baby is here..From then on he should just be responsible and pay child support and try to be there for the child that is born into all the confusion...One thing I can tell you is that you need to be careful , as the other woman I have learned that the affairs are usually not just one and he MAY be feeding her alot of crap or still sleeping with her..never let your guard down and if your instincts tell you something is up..then follow them...I hope you are able to get through this because I know it is painful, but all us other women are not bad people we just make some bad mistakes... ↑
wow~ the sad thing about this story is the number of other woman who have said they have slept with married men.... which means a really LARGE number of men who cheat on their wives!! ↑
Hold it, keep things in perspective here. this forum is primarily visited by women. That way it's easy to get the idea that only men or most men cheat on their wives. When you look at statistics, there's roughly the same amount of women that cheat on their men. In Holland the curb even shows that more women than men cheat on their partner. Please remember that we're not all dicks. ↑
I am not trying to make excuses for him.When she decided to keep the baby, he asked her to think it over if she was prepared to be a single mother because he will not marry her. But if anything happens to the child, he will be there for the child but not her. It was a mistake. He said that he wanted to correct it.No matter what my husband promised her, I am very sure that he didn't promise to marry her, which upsets her the most. I don't think she is willing to hide for the rest of her life to be a mistress. The reason she is still there is because she thinks she wants to get him through the child. We don't have our own child yet. I didn't know he loves children so much until this happens. This is his weakness and she knew very well. She said her unborn child was hungry when she asked him to send food to her or bring her out for dinner. Each time she asked him to visit her, she told him she was not feeling well and there was something wrong with the baby. I tried to convince myself that she could be a normal person who made a mistake. I believe some of the other women are not bad at all. But not this one I met. Would the other woman call the wife slut? Sometimes she called me at late night or early morning but she denied it in front of my husband. I proved it was her by recording her voice. I know he should cut all the ties with her but even he said that to her with me there, how can I prove it? Her sister heard about it and thought it was wrong and not good for her either. Then her sister asked me to talk to my husband and said she talked to the other woman already and she promised to stop contacting my husband. But she lied to her sister. She didn't change at all. She is just not trustworthy. ↑
hello everyone, I just wanted to say I know when you become involved with someone sexly you become emotional involved. Women always seem to think sex equals love and men know this. A coarse a married man will tell you bad things about his wife to keep getting sex. He will lie and keep lying to keep you near. He likely told you "I love but can't leave b/c of the kids", "It's cheaper to keep her", I don't want her or find her attractive", or "I don't love her". Whatever it takes to get into your pants. These men have no plans to leave their wives and family. In his eyes you are an easy piece of butt with no self respect. I also have brothers and brother in laws who decided to think of "these other women" as sluts, tramps, ugly( they fall for anything) nasty women are not trustworthy. Sick comments coming from cheaters. I honestly think these "cheaters" don't think they are doing anything wrong. Sadly, you children will grow up with no real fathers. These men have no plans to ruin their lives for an "easy"(their mouths) woman. They sit around and laugh about it. It makes me sick to my stomach to hear men put down low self esteem women. The reason why I said low self-esteem is b/c if you love yourself you wouldn't let a worthless man use your body and keep you on a string. These men are dangling you like a ball of yarn. Exact words came out of my ex husband's mouth when he got caught. He called the woman ugly and stupid( handled up money easy, he got to be less than a man with her). He bragged about how she would do whatever he wanted just to get attention. Man, he was right. Very Overweight and unatraction is what I would describe her. I left him when I found out. He had no plans to leave me. I honestly don't think any married man plan on leaving his wife. Its a game to him. I hope all works out well for you and your baby. Think of the child and take responsibility for your actions. Stop looking at yourself as a victim in this affair and take your share of the blame. Look at who you're hurting in this sisutation you put yourself in. You're hurting your child ,his wife, and kids. Imagine when all of this come out. Daddy's a cheater and now our family is no more. If you don't love yourself love the innocent victims in all of this diffusion. Ask yourself what is taking him so long to leave a woman who is so bad to him? Cheaters will always be cheaters. ↑
I found myself in one of these situations. The father of my daughter was seperated, but still married when we got together. He went back and forth between us for about a year. For the most part everything was out in the open from the beginning and has been since. I didn't call, harass, threaten or ask for anything. It was VERY hard to walk away but I did. I let him come around to see our daughter when he tried but I kept things between us very neutral. Today, things are quite different. The divorce is in a waiting period but will be finalized in a month. He is taking care of his daughter properly and we are falling in love all over again. Of course I am still skeptical and I don't feel good about how things came about, but, it was love and is still love. He spends everyday trying to prove himself to our daughter, to me, to my family and friends because he is serious. I know eveyone says they don't leave and a lot of times they don't. But he did and slowly but surely I am begining to believe it is for real. I know wives will be mad and have nasty stuff to say and that's fine...I would be bitter too if the shoe was on the other foot. Sometimes whats best isn't always right. Hope this gives some of you ladies in the predicament hope. BUT let me close with this....your best bet is to SERIOUSLY plan on doing it alone! Prepare yourself for being a wonderful, full-filled life with you and baby. Anything else is icing on the cake! GOOD LUCK AND MUCH LOVE! ↑
Hi to everyone,
I know that this may help my situation a little because I am the wife of a man that is in the same situation. God only knows the pain that this man has cause in our marriage. I don't know how you feel about the situation that you are in now. But it does not make it easy on none of the people involved. You see, I have 5 children and how do you think my kids will feel when they hear this news. I know that this woman was chasing my husband down and when she got preganant, she felt that he would leave me. Yes, he left me for about 4 months and then when the honeymoon was over with this new found relationship, he was begging to come back home. Trust me, at the time that he was following his mistress, he cared nothing about me and my children. Trust me, it was God that brought me through that rough time in my life. I just could not believe the lenght that this woman was going to take my husband away from his family. I feel hurt about this situation. Because, me as a woman would never put myself in this type of situation because I don't see myself as a woman that needs something to hold to a man---especially a married one. Even before I met my husband, if a man had children or if a man was in a relationship with a woman-- even if he use the line that we are having problems. That was a turn off. You see--- it is one thing you must understand--- One you are an adult. You knew the consquences of your actions when you and him was having intercourse. Protect yourself. Even if he is telling you that he loves you -- and he is going to leave her. What are your chances of that happening. If you know that the relationship between the two of them is ending, if you would have waited. Wait for about two years so that you will then have a baby for the man. Just don't jump in. Only fools rush in, where angles dare not tread. Now a baby is born and conceived in sin. I know that you have ask God to forgive. But if we think things through from the beginning we would not put ourselves in a position to be used and look how many lives are change because we do not use our better judgement. The kids will suffer the most. Your unborn child will suffer and the kids he have with his wife because the decision that you and him chose. It does not make it right. Look at the scares it will leave and if some kids are crule and know of your sins, they will use that against your baby. Trust me. I have already told my husband that my children will have no part of his kid that he is having for that woman, because we live by example and I feel that my husband did not make a positive example for my children. I don't want my children to know of this at all. And look at the many lives that you and him have destroyed. If you do not know what his wife is going through trust me. It is painful. The pain you are feeling will not compare to the pain she is face with. When my husband left, my kids did not care about what was happen they only knew that something was wrong and they looked up to me to fix it. How can I fix it? Now that he has come back home my kids are happy, but I have for-gone my happiness for the sake of my children. Now I live in misery. He is happy to be home. My children are happy that he is home. And I still cry, because how can someone make it right. My pastor said that I have to except this but I know that he would never except me back if the shoe was on the other foot. That is why we should pray and do what is christ-like in all our decision in life. Never do to other what we would not want anyone to do to us. My child may you ask God for forgiveness and know that he is with you and confess your sins and always think about the actions that you have created that brought you to that point. That child is your scare that God wants to share with the world. He is a forgiving God. Ask God to now bring you a Good man to help you raise your baby. Be blessed in God.... ↑
To respond to the woman that stated that the man don't want his wife anymore. That is not the case. --- If you know the saying. A double minded person is unstable in all his ways. You are fooling yourself if you believe that a man is cheating because he wants to be with you. If he left her for you he will leave you for someone else. Don't set yourself up for failure. Know that it wasn't so from the beginning....... ↑
Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes they get what they deserve sometimes they don't. Sometimes mistakes are just simply that....mistakes. Not all wrong doings are malicious acts that deserve punishment! I understand that this is a serious issue but some of you need to calm down a little. Even with all the turmoil it can be handled with stability and normalicy. People being so cruel and degrating about others mistakes and misfortunes is very unproductive. I would assume that fairly rarely is someone in this situation out to ruin a family, or to act in complete disregard of values. Like I said sometimes it is just a mistake. And yes the odds are in favor of the "they don't leave their wives" and the "once a cheater always a cheater" but that's just it there just odds. Ever person runs up against odds in there life on a daily basis and if we never banked on them lots of good things would never be accomplished. Now I know someone is going to read that and say I am saying that my situation is a good thing and be thourghly disgusted...but slow down because that isn't what I am saying! I regret everyday (seriously) the way our situation unfolded. It was wrong. However, to spent the rest of my life with a scarlette letter on my chest is not good for anyone. And while no wife wants to have sympothy from the woman who "stole" her husband, my heart does go out to her. I don't like her and I don't think she is a good person but she is hurting and life is very hard for her right now and that is partially my fault and I feel remorse for that. But my life is my life and his life is his life and in the end people, not just the homewreckers, need to do what is honestly best for them. A mistake was made before the affair. The marriage was a mistake! No, the way out was not proper but it is over, we are happy and while there is not any guarantees, I don't believe it will happen to me. He isn't just "another cheating man" he was a man who left a loveless marriage for a better situation. Thank you for your time. Good day. ↑
I think you are all wrong for the affair but you are right in that we all make mistakes. Sometimes the marriage people are in is not the right one. Sad but true that people just get in and out very easily. It really isn't something for you to carry around forever. Be careful though because trusting him and having him bail will be REAL hard and you have to stay strong for that little girl! Good luck! ↑
Frankly, I can understand if the woman didn't know the man was indeed married but it sounds like in most of these case the women knew. What kind of person would sleep with someone elses husband? Do you have morals or value yourself as a woman? Is it low self worth? What is it. I just don't understand such a person. You're hurting a family just to fufill your needs. Honestly, I think its selfish. If you truly have regrets on your decision you would stop the affair. I'm wondering if you got pregnant on purpose to keep this jerk. Think about it. Why didn't you use birthcontrol? Anyone can get b/c nowadays. What ever happen to a married man being off limits? A mistake is something that happens one time not over and over again. Most people would say this is a malicious act you and this man is commenting. Sorry to mean but you are purposely ruining a family. No, punishment won't happen to adulters but someone should bring the other woman to reality. Men say whatever they need to get you into their bed. If he's so happy why don't he leave? Nowadays you can get a divorce and ask for equal custody. There is no accuse to cheat and stay in a loveless marriage. You say you don't like his wife and life is horrible for him. How do you know? He could just be saying this to keep you in his bed until he find someone. A cheating husband will never be faithful. He cheats b/c he likes/wants to cheats. It has nothing to do with the wife. He wants sex with someone. He's having sex with you and his wife. His poor wife can get a STD from your "mistake". Seriously, you don't regret your situation or you would stopped it before getting pregnant. Sadly you think you're special or better than his wife. I wonder what he's saying when he's having sex with her? ↑
It look like you ladies fell in love with the wrong guy. All you can do is take care of your child and try to raise him or her the best you know how. I hope all works out for the best. It only told me 300 dollars to get out of a loveless marriage. Just thought you gals should know this. Take care ↑
Hello, ladies....I just wanted to share a little about my situation. I am a 47 year old woman with 3 beautiful daughters and 9 wonderful grandchildren. I have a loving husband whom I have been married to for 22 years. Our oldest daughter will be 24 in April. The reason for all the details is that I too was the "other" woman. My husband and I had an affair and I got pregnant. It took over a year for us to fix the situation but we did and our life is what it is because we did. No it wasn't correct but it was love and still is. My point is that it isn't always a matter of just sex. Our childrens lives are as normal as it gets, he doesn't cheat on me and I don't deserve any punishment. Don't get me wrong and think that Im promoting such immoral behavior I just think that there is a lot of harsh things being said about situations people can not trully understand unless you are in it. Well I could right a book about the whole thing, but I'll spare you. Those of you now pregnant, good luck, keep your chin up, and follow your heart. That man not be around but then again he MAY! ↑
I have a situation that is similar, yet a little different than the ones I have read and I am also looking for some advice. I was with the man that I am now 8 months pregnant with, BEFORE he got married. We had the perfect relationship, we never argued and my kids were absolutely crazy about him ( 3 of which I have from a previous relationship). Last year in May, exactly 3 weeks before he was about to marry this woman, I was approached by 3 of my closest friends who told me about his wedding date and all that was to be offered in additional info at that time. I was hurt beyond repair. Well, neither her nor there, after I let most of it seep in, he eventually made contact with me again, and it was truly my choice to make the decision to start back being intimate with him. Thus, I became pregnant. In the beginning, he was very happy with it. He more or less was looking for a reason to get out of a marriage that he said he made a mistake in committing to in the first place, but shortly thereafter, he switched it up on me and wanted me to have an abortion because he said the wife was very vindictive and if she found out, it would be too devastating to his only child, whom he has has full custody of since she was 2 months old. (She is now 12). Well, I was already 4 months into my pregnancy, had shared my news with my children and I had already started preparing for a new addition to the household. To make matters a little more complicated, I found out a few weeks later that I was having a boy and at that point in time since he and I were no longer speaking, he didn't know. It was when I was almost 7 months pregnant, that he made contact again and apologized, but with very mixed emotions. He wants to be intimate with me, but have nothing to do with the baby and he hasn't told his sister, his mother or his father, and he has made it clear that he won't be doing so...nor does he intend on telling the wife. What should I do? ↑
Wosilla, I get so tired of women who willfully and intentionally sleep with married men, and then want to be elevated to 'wife' status and demand sympathy and support for herself and her plight. And pleeeeeease stop parading those precious brats before the world as the reason why the man YOU slept with should be with you and only you. You were both wrong. You for sleeping with a married man, and him for cheating on his wife. He is never going to leave his wife for you and marry you. In fact you are probably instrumental in ruining his marriage, and he will discard you quickly should his marriage fail. (Even if he gets divorced, he wont rush to the altar to make you the next Mrs. Lowlife) At any rate, stop running to his wife crying about it, you werent worried if she knew about you BEFORE you were pregnant and then dumped, why run to her now? Stop attacking other women he will be interested in simply because he is done using you and wishes to move on. Stop driving around stalking him and his wife. Stop calling folks bad mouthing his wife or any other women he is involved with. (Oh you thought YOU were the only one? Oh no wait, you didnt think he would treat YOU like that, right? ) Grow up and get a clue. You act like a spoiled brat only because you are angry and bitter that the baby you conceived did NOT get you the husband you wanted. And NOW you want revenge. This goes out to yourself and every other woman who decides to throw her legs open to a married man thinking (demanding) that he will leave his wife for you. That doesnt make you special in his eyes, it earns you the title of a homewrecking tramp. And your child will forever be a testimony to that. And the poor kid(s) will be branded with that kind of shame of your wreckless actions as his or her conception. Great way to start the kid's life. Go Mom! ↑
