Dear Lily's Mom, I have dealt with similar things you have described and can share my experiences with you. I can reply here in length or if you would like you can email me and ask me questions that way. Either way is fine, and I hope I will be of some help to you. I have been able to talk to others myself and found it very helpful.
Sincerely, Me too ↑
Me Too: Thanks, email would be great. I couldn't figure out how to get yours. And this is the third time I've tried posting mine....maybe it will let me do it this way, lol. Mine is FeatherStorm5 (at) h o t m a i l . c o m ↑
Hey Im in the situation kinda. If his wife leaves left him and he is that worried about to hurt himself that is his fault if he LOVED her so much he would have never cheated on her. My BF now ex cheated on his wife with me for a while. We got PG by accicdent. Had a m/c tryed again on purpose m/c again and then he left his wife. He told me we wanted to be with me and have a family got PG again (now 13 weeks) and I found out he is still talking to her and NEVER went to get a divorce. Now he doesn't know what he wants so i called his wife and told her and now i think he doesn't want anything to do with me. O well he should have thought about that before we PLANNED are baby. Anyway does he have any other childern? ↑
Hello all. This is my first time on this site and I find myself in the same situation...kinda. I got pregnant by a married man. I delivered a beautiful baby girl this August. I still go through so much everyday and cannot detach myself from him as much as I try. (we now live in different states but we speak on the phone daily). He lied to me from day one.....first he said he wasn't married, then after intense questioning him for different fishy things he did he told me he was separated and had moved into his mom's house while he got on his feet. Told me he couldn't bring me around fam because it was too soon and his mom and his 'ex' had a great relationship......too much to even mention happened. We saw each other daily...fell in love. Long story short I got pregnant after 6mo of being together. He asked me to have an abortion...i didn't. He told his wife (whom he was NEVER seperated from) she called me, I told her everything. She still stayed with him "for the kids" and security. Even after all the deceit, I still love him and can't let go. We agreed to keep in contact as friends because we now have a child together but I know I keep talking to him because I can't even think about totally ridding him of my life and i feel that he still really care about me (maybe I'm still in denial after everything. It has now been 1 1/2 yrs since we met/date/had baby and to this day we've talked on the phone daily. Its like a bad addiction that I can't rid myself of. He manipulates me in everyway possible. He says he will never leave his kids ages 11 &13. He says he is not happy in his marriage but will wait until the kids go away to college to figure things out. He says he does not expect me to wait around for him but that if I date anyone else he will not talk to me unless its baby related. He says I'm his best friend and that he loves me. We spend hours talking on the phone about anything and everything. I just don't understand why he still keeps me around? Why does he keep calling me? Its not because of sex because we haven't been together in that way since before the baby was born. I don't know what to do. Also, he asked me not to take him to child support and he helps me out financially. He gives me $400/monthly but if it were court ordered it would be over $600. He says that if Itook him to court he would lose his home because of all the debt he has and he can't afford to give me any more. And if he lost his home, he would lose his kids because his wife would leave him if the reason was for child support for a child out of marriage. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason he talks to me is so I don't take him to court. Any advice would truly help. ↑
You are truly one gullable person aren't you! You let him have his cake, eat it too, and and have ice cream on the side. Wake up. He has told you directly. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE. He is happy in his marriage and loves his wife or he would have left her already. I can imagine what he has told her about you! probably something like, one time fling. It will never happen again..... So why does he want to talk to you every day? It sounds like he is bored. I know I don't want to talk to my husband too much on the phone and have just a friendly conversation. I am too busy with the kids and my own life. I know I can be a real -itch sometimes. This guy has someone to talk too. A friendly voice during the day. FINALLY Get on with your life. Date other people (That are not married) Get away from Mr. Loser. He has no plans on ever being with you seriously, so move on. FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT. Of course he doesn't want you to have your fair share. Who do you think is telling him to say this? I will give you a hint it's not his financial advisor. He helped make this baby. He needs to fullfill his obligations. He and his wife probably have much more than what they are telling you. You are just their little problem on the side. Don't let him fool you with his lies. Move on. ↑
FutureTwinMom- I was wondering,since you say you never want to talk to your husband on the phone would it be ok for him to call the other woman he got pregnant while with you?I dont think you should be so harsh because this subject is very touchy.I cant believe how grown women can sit on a computer and act so childish.Dont anyone have other things to do then to talk trash on some website when no one cares how YOU feel about them.WOMEN GROW UP!!! Anyways men cheat they do women wrong,why blame only one person here? ↑
i just found this doing a search on aol.. im so glad im not the only girl who has gotten pregnant by a married man. I am due in july, and the babys daddy is still with his wife. im so confused right now I dont know what to do. any advice will be greatly apreciated. ↑
i actually kind of feel bad for futuretwinmom being so busy w/her own life & the kids that she would be comfortable with someone else being the 'friendly' conversationist for her bored husband. i talk to my husband a million times a day, no matter how busy we are and we never get bored of talking to each other. if my husband felt the need to chatter on about everyday nonsense w/someone other than his wife, who is supposed to be his best friend, id snap his neck. we are each others best friends and i cant fathom not finding time in my day to let him know that. i would imagine that if i were unavailable to him, or if here were unavailable to me, that would eventually lead to one or the other finding someone else to confide in...& who wants that. ↑
Sorry to say that but this idiot put himself in this situation. It is just ridiculous if he has affair with you and when something like this happens he runs like a boy.
All the best for your situation but I would recommend to just move on. ↑
yeah i have moved on. im still debating on whether or not to let him see the baby when it gets here, also he has two other kids with his wife, should i let them see it? ↑
I have a question to all of the women who have had babies by married men, I'm not judging just asking a question. How would you class a female that told a married man that she couldn't have any childern in conversation of a week before lying together. The women at the time of conception was 34 years old never had any children, come to find out she was living at home, also didn't make enough money to suvive on her own. Se told the man if she did by chance get pregnant she wouldn't tell anybody and that he could go on, but it turn out different 3 weeks later she called and said you got me pregnant his response was you told me couldn.t have any childern she said well I don't know what happen I'm preganant and you are going to have to take care of it. I will post more of situation after response this I very deep I had know idea there were women who motives were to destroy families. I had a conversation with her after finding out and she told me she knew everything about my lifestyle before getting with my husband and she begged him to leave me.
Ala. ↑
Ok. Just got back from our trip and I need to clear some things up. First of all my husband is not talking to any other woman. I was trying to say that when you have kids, you don't always have enough time to have long conversations with your husband. Which is why I can see why diannav_81's boyfriend still wants to talk to her everyday. He craves the attention.
I still think she needs to move on. She is only going to get hurt really bad if she stay's in this mess. ↑
Why are you sleeping with a married man? You set yourself up for heartache! I think you told his wife to be spiteful. Up until the point that he left you, you were fine with being his dirty little secret. Did you tell his wife when you were benefiting, getting his time and attention? Nope you waited till he kicked you to the curb. I understand you are trying to look out for your baby, but did you even think about what you were doing to the other kids involved? Now that you’re bringing a baby into to this situation, you want him to do the right thing. You had no problem participating in what ultimately turned out to be the destruction of his family. You want your child taken care of at the cost of two other children. You knew going into this situation that he was not available, is your self esteem so low that you would allow yourself to be used. I know this sounds like I’m taking his side, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He deserves to lose his family, and he should feel ashamed of himself for what he did, not to you, but to his wife and his children. They along with your baby are the true victims in this mess. The two of you deserve whatever misery comes your way because the two of you chose to have an affair, but the wife and the three children had no choice they just have to deal with the out come. That’s selfish and irresponsible on you and him! I hope he steps up and takes care of all his children. Since he was willing to put his family on the line for a sexual relationship with you, I doubt he is any part of an honorable man. Good luck and I hope you have learned something from this. ↑
actually, i believe he did it to himself. it takes two to tango and all that jazz. if he's going to cheat and then kick that person to the curb to find another, his wife deserves to know. why defend if you're "Taken4Good"? he screwed up his own family by poking around outside his own household. castrate the guy and his kids won't suffer ^^ and omfg! look at the damn date on this post. that was 3 years ago almost. i'm willing to bet she's had her kids and dealt with it. good grief start reading before posting. ↑
i think sometimes mistresses are so blinded by thinking that these men actually love them. they simply do not love them. they are basically seen as an easy bit of skirt, a woman who they know will always say 'yes' to them and not cause any trouble - until of course they get pregnant. a guy who asks you to abort your baby is not a guy who loves you either, if he was then why would he want to kill his own creation? i think its so sad when i read how delluded these women are, they stay with these men for years in the hope they will leave their wives when in reality that rarely ever happens. i just hope that perhaps one day women will be a bit stronger and not settle for a relationship with a married man by thinking he truly 'loves' them. ↑
Falling in love with and being in love with a married man is a very difficult situation. For the most part it is definitely a lose/lose situation. On the other hand when there is a child that child is a wonderful thing and as long as all affected act maturely and only think of the child/children involved that child can feel love, know love, and be cherished. 3 years ago when this happened to me, I vowed to reach this point and here I am. My daughter is 2 and my situation is not typical but she is loved and adored by us her parents, as well as siblings and step-parents. The best thing to do is to accept our actions, and move forward in a positive sense with the baby always being the important factor. It takes time for this so it is okay to be sad, angry, resentful, etc, as long as the goal is to work past those emotions to a better place for the child. ↑
