To:know ur facts you and him are to blame you'all need to stop blaming the wives for not accepting your responsibilities. and like i said this is our home and if i chose not to have this child in my home ooh well. and i don't know why he cheated but he's only gonna tell what ever he wants you to believe but these other women know they weren't in a relationship they know something was strange about him. and only if you know this nigger is so sorry for what he's done he's afraid he's gonna loose his family but he should of thought about that before he was thinking with the wrong head.so he gain a baby and lost his family how stupid. i have no pity on no woman who willing knowing this man was married and believe me 80% of these ladies knew. always remember when you do things that are not right there are concequeses behind them he's asking his mom and our pastor how can he fix this but whats done is done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-!- ↑
Angry wife, I hope you take the time to truly heal and decide where your forgiveness will take you. I also hope you read the post from those of us who have remorse for our part in the affair. "Me Too' is strong and has taken accountability and responsibility for her role. There are any of us that have been involved and had to forgive ourselves before we were able to take the time to understand that the hurt hits every corner. Strange enough I have been on both sides. I had a husband who went overseas and after 13 yrs he had an affair, the devestation was unbearable. But i had this wonderful co-worker who catered to me and gave me the time and attention that my husband had neglected. My husband made me feel that the other woman was younger and well her body hadn't changed she didn't have children. This co-worker made me feel like a woman all over again. Told me how great i looked and didn't even look like I had children. And there I was on the side, the one having the affair. My hurt became selfish trying to make myself feel loved and feel good, not thinking of the next person. He left his wife, not for me. At the time he left she did not know about me and i was not pregnant. Four years later I became pregnant and guess what "the pressure was to much for him and he did what - started dealing with other women". But I took the time to listen and learn. This is what his father did and never had anyone teach him how to be responsible and how to manage life. Angry wife has every single right to feeel what she does at this time, however I encourage to read what i posted last time. As for "knowurfacts" everyone hurts, angry wife is not trying to be the victim just as your not trying to be the victim. However if anything angry wife was placed in a situation unknowly, as the other woman you choose to be in the situation knowly. No of us knew the hurt involved it felt too good to see the pain behind our actions. Knowurfacts, you are not going to like what i am getting ready to say. If you made a choice to be involved with a man that was married and he and his wife choose to have a relationship with your child, as his spouse you can not prevent her from being in the childs life. You knew she existed in his life and it was okay when having fun, but now the hard part has come and it is not okay anymore. The statement I will make his life "living hell", my doing or thinking this way you are looking very insecure and will cause yourself more pain, not to mention you will hurt your child. I know you are hurt as the other woman, but you have to focus on your child and what is best. Angry wife has a hard road ahead with forgiveness, healing, and major life changing decisions, she did not ask for this. Knowurfacts you have to forgive yourself and have a healthy pregnancy. You have to stop trying to make him hurt although I understand because of your pain you want to make him miserable like you. You are hurting yourself and the baby more. The man will never feel the pain of the wife or the other woman. Time truly does heal but you have to want to heal, creating and keeping a war just causes lifetime scars often imposed on our children. Angry wife I am sorry. Knowurfacts we all had your feelings and I am not critical of you. I was nine months pregnant and saw a female leaving his apt., at that moment I hated her and him. So we (the wife and the other woman) all have rage in the center of the storm, but when it calms we have to think ratinal and logical. If only we all would have thought beyond the moment. ↑
sorry for errors in my previous post. I try to type with the baby and he likes to hit the keys also, goes with the territory of being a single mother. ↑
life goes on, no my children have been on vacation with my mother for a couple of weeks. I do struggle with how to explain this to them, and am planning to do so after I reach the 12 week mark. It will be confusing to them, as their father and I are still very good friends and see a lot of each other. I have tons of scenarios in my head but nothing concrete yet in regards to explaining yet. Basically they will be excited, but as for the father they do know him (he was my boss) so I haven't quite found the words. But I also won't lie and let them assume this is their fathers child. ↑
Me Too... Did your children ever meet the father of your baby? Did they no you were in a relationship with him? If these answers are yes, then the best thing to do is tell your children the truth, if its no, then you just need to explain to them that mummy was in a relationship with a man at work, you didnt expect this to happen but naow mummy is going to have another baby, which will be another brother or sister for them. Its not going to be easy and they are bound to ask you questions you never even though of. But be stong, they will be reeally pleased once they get used to the idea. ↑
!!, yes my chidren know the father of my child but only as my boss and friend. they like him a lot and i have to explain this very carefully. Their first reaction will be excitement in regards to getting to be around him more, there have been instances where our families have been around each other. My daughters are 5 & 8, so this unfortunately may also be a very brief and edited beginning on the birds and bees much sooner than I was ready for. I still have a couple of weeks, and I know that when the time is here I will do my best to be fair honest but brief with facts. They will know who the father is, just still working on my dialogue. Just as i know this is one of those things that does not affect just me, but them as well. Being big sisters will exicte them a lot, they will be excellent. Just a different kind of transition due to circumstances. Thank you for your advice. ↑
Angry Wife, who the hell is blaming the wives here?!? Read what everyone is writing,NO ONE IS BLAMING YOU!! Im not going to argue about whose house it is and whose choice it is if the baby comes over because that will be yalls argument once the baby comes.You keep saying we knew they were married.How do you know? You didnt know he was cheating just as much as we didnt know his ass was married.Stop accusing us of something you dont even know if we knew or not. No one asked you to take responsibilities for our children.What was said was that you dont have to have nothing to do with the child but you cant refuse him the right to see his child.Weather you like it or not, its none of your business what he decides to do with that baby, weather its to bring it in YALLS house or to take him or her on YALLS vacation.Im sure your ass isnt the one paying for all of it so why should your ass have a say.You sound like a greedy bitch.Stop posting on this site if you cant be of help.No one wants to hear about how your such a pitywhore because you got cheated on, then you come on here blaming women who you dont even know.WE have nothing to do with YOUR husband cheating so stop bitching at us.We were not the ones fucking him.Go bitch to the lady he got pregnant and get a fucking life already you dumbass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑
Lol lifegoeson, I have that same problem with my daughter trying to type too.Sorry about the profanity in my last post, im just tired of hearing people tell us what we knew and didnt know. Im sure when the lady posted this subject she didnt intend to get arguments started.I hope all of you "other women" get what you are looking for in life and good luck to you and your children. As for the wives, im sorry you had and still have to deal with the pain of cheating husbands.If you are trying to work things out with your husbands,try not to throw it in his face with every argument that comes because he took the first step to admitting it to you and even know the chance is very small, he just might change. Some will probably never change but take life one day at a time and remember what doent kill you, will only make you stronger.:) Good luck to the wives, and i hope things can work out with your familys. :) ↑
To know ur facts; your language on our website is disturbing, you can't blame the way angry wife feels she's angry and hurt , she's probably in the beginning stage but time will heal her and hopefully she's make the right decision,but it do sounds like the wives are suffering the most due to bad choices.i hope angry wife gets the help she needs and you other ladies truly learn from your mistakes. know ur facts how is angry wife a greedy ---- you sounds like you(the other womens) wants some of the wives finances, and i thinks when angry wife expresses her opinion she's might be speaking of the woman in her situation not you ladies in general. i hope the wives and the other women will truly over come what they now have to face god bless all of you!!!!! ↑
Me too: I had the same issues, 3 children oldest being 15 youngest 7. And in addition to the situation itself, my child's father is black. I had multiple situations. I waited until I was 7 months. I also am close to my childrens father and he was supportive when i spoke with our children, he actually was with me when I told them. Do not get me wrong he initially was angry that I was placing our children in this mess and was not happy when he found out james was not around. He had a few words to say and even contacted my sons father. My first 3 childrens father and I had been sep. for 4 yrs, but were not divorced. The father of my son was sep. also (not because of me or the baby that was not known to the wife) and not divorced. Because my children knew the baby's father it did make it a little easier. I let them know that mom and james have been dating for four years and I found out I was going to have his child. I let them know that I was sorry because my actions were wrong. Because they knew him, they had questions and all I could do is hold my head up high and answer them with honesty. I never spoke bad of him, rather I told them this was hurtful to everyone and he needed some time to make sure he could be a good father. I also let them know that this is why we always have to stop and think before we act. My son is 7 months old and they have loved him without any difference. Their father still sees his children everyday and is a wonderful, supportive friend. He sees the baby more than my sons father, but that is because he takes a very active role in his childrens life. I am proud that I raised my children to know we are not perfect, yet mom did not act responsible. I am proud that they have no prejudice and never was that a question or problem. How well you have raised them will factor in on how they adjust, but it is very important to ask for forgiveness and to let them know you did make poor choices that have hurt people. our actions were wrong and I would never want my children to think everything is okay, dad is fine, mom is fine, baby is fine, and james (my baby's father) is fine so these things must be okay. I thanked them for loving me, but I also let them know that my actions were selfish and much hurt has taken place. Like I said before in postings my babys father is coming around in his time and we are dating again, not like before but he is attempting to be better. If you ever need to talk off the postings I will be happy to give you my email. ANGRY WIFE - vent all you want you have that right and you have the right to feel what you feel. You are the owner of your feelings! KNOWURFACTS - your going to be alright, but try to let go of some your anger regardless of were your directing it, your health and the babys health need to come first. It really will get better - time does heal. ↑
To $$$$, What finances would i want from the wife?Lol, thats funny.I dont want no ones money but i dont think i should be the only one to suffer so if the man doesnt want to be in my childs life then he can pay for her.If i wanted her money and his money i would have filed with the attorney general the second my child was born 16 months ago.I am the one saving up for a dna test even know i already know who the father is, not him.And HIS money has nothing to do with her anyways.HE goes to work for it not HER.And if you read what she wrote she was directing her name calling towards the other women on this site.She needs to be angry with her husband.No one forced him to cheat.He did it himself.I dont see these women holding guns to these mens heads and forcing them into sex.To LIFEGOESON, i have no remorse for what ive done.If id have known he was married and i kept on then i would have been sorry.It doesnt change the fact that i did what i did though.I have since gotten over what ive been through and i have no anger towards my situation.On the other hand, i dont think its right for Angry wife to come on here steriotyping everyone because everyones situation is different.She thinks shes the only victim.She wasnt left with a child to support by herself, she is not the only one hurting.As the other woman, i would probably never know how it feels to be in her shoes but SHE will never know how it feels to be in MY shoes.She will never have to worry about her kid asking why her father dont want her, she will never have to worry about finding someone who cares for me AND my daughter, and she will never know how it feels to be a single mom.She thinks her life is hard maybe she should be in our shoes.Now i understand she is angry because of the situation but she cant go blaming the people who have never even seen her husband for his mistakes.We are triflin and we are chicken heads to her but then she expects us to feel sorry for her when shes saying rude things to us? I dont think so. I refuse to let anyone say im horrible because i brought a child into the world without a father or in the situation that its in.If she thinks this is bad then maybe she should look at the people who get raped but still keep their babies. Just because my child was brought into the world under these circumstances does not mean that my child is not going to get that extra love her father is supposed to give.She is taken care of just like all of these married couples kids are being taken care of. ↑
dear life goes on, first of all YES emailing off this site is okay with me!! I have done the same with another "ow", and it helped me a lot. More and more our situations do have their similarities. My husband and I are separated and have been for over 2 years. He knew I had an affair, and he knew who it was with. He just did not know it had continued. A very long and complicated strory of course:-( Anyhow, just as you have described the father of your two children being active in their lives that is the same in my case. And he has already told me he will accept this child as mine, and that is all that matters. He will love and respect this child, and that just wowed me to say the least. Sure he was hurt and disappointed, but on the other hand "what can he do" was his words. In regards to telling my daughters, I know the time is coming. And the thing is they do know the father, but God this sounds just horrid, but then this whole situation has it's shame, but they also know his wife and his daughter. So I can't just say we were dating, etc. The girls' father just told me tonite he wants to be with me when I tell them, and honestly until you mentioned in your post about you doing the same I had not really given it much thought. I have known for about a month now, and it feels like so much longer. The father went from wanting to commit suicide, to being severely depressed, to suddenly vowing he is on his way to being a new man by giving his life to God and asking God to watch over me. Don't get me wrong, I think that if finding faith helps him I am all for it. But I also know one visit to church, and a few vows to oneself do not make any of this change or easier overnite. What we did, and what we feel won't be forgiven instantly because we decide that is what must happen. I hear in your own words and post that you have found faith and that has pulled you through. But I hope you understand for me it is going to take time, I do not expect to find God in my soul instantly and then suddenly llife will be good and all well. Am I making sense here? I know for me personally, the wife wants me to abort, miscarry (that is the hardest to realize as I am still at the point where wishing ill and such a horrid thing on another is wrong) and/or expects her husband to force or insist I adopt my child out. That I have been posting on this site about that in hopes I can try to find "acceptance" in my heart and life for her words. She wants to erase all traces of me, and that to me is understandable. But as she too is a mother I am trying to comprehend how she can wish death on a life and that be okay. Or how she can wish me to miscarry which will cause me physical pain and is a scary thought. I want to find it somehow someway within me to "accept" how she can feel this way. I don't want it to come to me tomorrow, but I really do want it to happen in time. As in time the process it takes for me to get there perhaps I will better understand. I try so hard in my life to stay positive and so often I am able too, then I find myself here venting, sharing, confessing and so much comes up. Thank you for your words. And let me know if you are still interested in outside emailing? ↑
I have to say this, and one thing that gets twisted and turned so much in all the posts is the married men and us "other women" knowing whether they were married or not. I guess to some defending the fact that they did not know the man was married helps, but honestly what difference does it really make now? If we knew or did not know, it changes nothing. We loved or deeply cared for the man, we found ourselves pregnant, we did not intentionally get pregnant, but no matter what we have done the responsible thing for our own beliefs and that is allow a life created a chance to be. The fact of his marital status and our knowledge of it, really has no bearing on us as women any longer. I have not heard from a single woman on here that they are proud of dating a married man, but we all are sorry for all the pain caused by EVERYONE around us so how we got here shouldn't have as much bearing as how we proceed. And no matter what we thought we knew or didn't know, I can bet every woman was completely unaware of the reality of the pain truly felt by both sides until the baby came about which is when the situation really changes. ↑
I really believe angry wife is only acting naturally. I think she is speaking from her heart and the massive hurt and betrayal she is feeling , and I do believe she also takes in what has been said on here as well as directed at her. The fact that she is bold and brave enough to type so candidly is really getting her way too much negative and hurtful venom. I cannot deal with the wife in my situation, but in reading her words and feeling her raw and unedited pain as well as the pain from "!!!"( another wife on the site) I have begun to realize so much. I myself got riled up at one point, but since have realized that she is a brave woman to come here when most of the postings really are from other women. I have read her ask fair questions, and not just condemn. This site and it postings basically tend to run full circle as the woman change constantly. But we all came here for a reason, and that reason is support. The wives can get support here as well as learn from the various other women what they are feeling, doing, learning, and so on and they can ask us questions. And we other women are able to get support and advice from those like us, but also hear from wives and perhaps address them as it is not always possible or safe in our own lives. ↑
You are going to be a great mother to this child and by your words you seem to be a good hearted person. You can email me at myangel95@hotmail.com if you need anything. ↑
Me Too... I agree with lifegoeson. You are going to be a great mother/teacher to your children. I also agree with you when you say that there is too much venom posted towards not just us wives but also you other women. Life has dealt us a hard blow, and we all have to recover from it. I do not see any point in writing nasty things to any of you other women, as i believe that we all learn from our mistakes, and we all have to live with the consequences, whether that be raising a child on your own, or building a new life with your husband. We each have to find a way to forgive and carry on with our lives, which will of course take time. It may take some longer to adapt than others, but it will happen. I must admit that when i found out the other woman in my husbands life was having a baby, i too wished the baby would be no more. I dont know if that was because i lost my baby or because of the situation i now had to face up to. Its not something i am proud to admit, but every feeling and thought that you never dreamt you were capable of somehow pops into your head when you have been hurt and betrayed in such a way. I have now had to get a restraining order against the other woman in my situation, as the phone calls and text messages were so full of vemon and hate, and even threatening at times. Its not something that i wanted to do, but i feel she has left me no other choice. Know your facts... It seems to me that you still dont comprehend what it is the the wives have to deal with. Because you are pregnant/have a baby by her husband there is now no way that you will ever be out of their lives, she is the one who has to deal with the consequences. This was not the wives fault she did not tell her husband to sleep with another woman, but even so she is the one who is left picking up the pieces. I know that you also have a lot to deal with, but if this man had never commited to you before, he was probably never going to. You say that what money he earns is his, but when your in a marriage what money is earned is usually spent on the home and the family, so you are in fact taking money away from her as well as the emotional side of it. You do have a right to ask for financial help from him, but do it for the right reasons, dont do it just so you can get back at him for hurting you, because if thats the only reason your asking for money then it proves to the wife that you are out for everything you can get, no matter who your hurting in the preocess. Please take the time to listen to what im writing, im not writing this to have a go, but to try and help you understand a little bit about what it is the wife is feeling. I understand that your hurt and that you have a lot to face up to (like raising a child as a single parent). I have seen both sides of this as my best friend has also been the other woman and is now a single parent. Its just a shame that reality hits home only when there is a baby involved. ↑
You are right, ill never know how the wife feels but our situation is most likely different then everyone elses. I was not the only person he got pregnant while cheating and i most likely wont be the last.When she married him she knew he was cheating with her, after they got married she knew he was out there seeing these other women.She knows he is still cheating with his other babys momma so i dont feel bad for her at all. She stays knowing hes never going to change and yet she has the nerve to blame us because her husband is out there cheating. How am i supposed to feel bad for her if she keeps putting herself in that position? I dont think anyone deserves to hurt like that but she needs to stand up for herself and stop trying to change him,She needs to move on if shes tired of it, not stay and blame everyone else for her being miserable with him.Im tired of hearing about how they cant leave because they love him.She needs to realise that if he loved her he damn sure wouldnt be out there screwing around while she supports his lazy ass! His wife is young and very beautiful and even know she has a child, I know she can find someone better. No one can help her if she dont help herself.I tried to tell her she deserves better but she says im just trying to get her to leave him so i can be with him.WHY on earth would i want to be with him now that ive found out how he was married? If he lied about being married, chances are that he will lie about being with me. ↑
Speak for yourself, I got pregnant by a married man intentionally. I knew he was married and didn't care. I KNOW most (not all) of these women knew or atleast had an idea. So don't play that "I didn't KNOW CRAP!" (U know who you are). And YES it does make a difference. I have no sympathy, and don't expect anyone to give me sympathy because I PUT MYSELF in this situation. I DESERVED the name calling, all the DRAMA. I could have easily said No, turned away before feelings where involved. I had the upper hand in this situation to end it before anything began. True, this guy was a Dog, would have cheated with someone else no doubt, but I should of had more respect for myself. I was young and stupid. It was Hell, but I created it. He didn't want anything to do with me, stressed a whole lot. I ended up having a still born at 6 months, and almost died...more emotionally than anything. I have no comunication with him since then, he moved out of town with his wife to "work" things out. I look back on things, and if only I could go back and change everything. I just hope that women realize that decision like these AFFECTS EVERYONE. Stop before it happens. I truely regret what I went through and really sorry for my mistakes, but it couldn't have come at a higher price. ↑
!!!, I actually for some reason can accept your confession of also wishing the child from your husbands affair to be gone. Yes it still stings, but I also read in your words and feelings that you got past that and have tried your best to come to terms with the situation you are in. I want to find that same feeling within myself for the wife in my situation, but no luck as of yet. I am sure it is going to take me some serious time to even begin. She knows me as a mother, and as a woman. That makes it more difficult for her I am sure, but it also brings me more feelings of disgust and pain as well. There is no simple solution, and to her killing my child or continuing to hope I actually go thru the pain of losing it seems to be her way out. I can't comprehend it, probably never will. But I do realize at this point in time no matter how far I move forward or how strong I may feel, I cannot let go of what I feel for her. Again I don't want this feeling, I hope to find a way to accept, but I can't yet. I have had to fight a very hard battle the past couple of years, in so many ways. And the way I feel right now is that I have fought too damn hard to be where I am now. Which is alive, but also open to constant growth. I cannot let anything set me back now, sure there will be little set backs, but I have to move forward and find good in my life and focus on that for the sake of all my children. I do hope in time the mother will allow your husband visiting rights, will he ever fight her for that right? I know it is all so new still, so to fight may be giving her just what she wants. Him actively in her life. Should have's won't work in these situations either, so hopefully in your life as well as mine things move forward and we are able to find some peace. ↑
Know your facts.... If what you say is true, about the wife knowing he was having affairs, then i wouldnt feel bad for her either. When i found out about my husband, i had my bags packed and was ready to leave, i dont know why i didnt, but i do know (and so does my husband) that if he was to ever do it again, no matter how much i love him, i would not hesitate to walk out the door and never come back. I can forgive once but not twice. This woman has no right to condem you for what you have done when she knows full well you are not the only 'other woman'. No matter how much i love my husband and want to be with him, i want my self respect more. This woman is obviously blind to what is really happening, and it is something she needs to realise by herself. I do now understand why you have written the things that you have, but i do need to add that we arent all like that. Yes many of us choose to stay, but speaking for myself i can only forgive once, if i ever found out that my husband had done this again there would be nothing to hold me here. Me Too.....The wife in your situation wants the one thing she cant have, and that is to have you and your child out of her life. It doesnt justify the things she has said, but she probably thinks that if you and your child were no more, then the reality of what her husband has done will never have to hit home, its something she would never have to deal with. Im sure that in time her perspective will change, but she will always remember what it was that happened between you two. Once rational thinking comes to her, she will then start to move forward. I found that i couldnt 'forgive' my husband until i had forgiven the other woman. If i wanted a healthy relationship and life with my husband i would have to forgive both of them. ↑
I have also seen the other side of an affair (from the other womans perspective). My best friend was in a relationship with a married man which also ended in her getting pregnant. The man in her siuation told her that he was getting a divorce, which she believed. He even bought another house to make it look like he wasnt living with his wife anymore. The wife in her situation had a lot of hate for her (to the point of physical violence), which is something my friend could not understand (why was she violent if they werent together anymore). It was only after her son was born that she discovered that they were never getting divorced and he was still living a married life with his wife. He promised he would always be there for her and their son, but within months of him being born she realised that they were all false promises. He now doesnt see his son (his own choice) and he has only ever spent £200 on his son, which was for a crib when their son was 4 months old. He didnt even want his name on the birth cerificate. My friend now says that leaving him was the best thing she has ever done. Her son may not see his daddy, but what sort of life would he have if he did. Her son has the option to look for his father, but decided that if his daddy didnt want him then he wasnt worth knowing. He says he is happy knowing that mummy loves him enough to live through all that hell. He has never once blamed his mother for not seeing his father, if anything he repects her for making the choices she made. ↑
I COMPLETELY agree with you. i mean who would just settle for left overs. i woudnt, i woudnt even be able to live with myself, if i were to sleep with a married man and when we are"done" knowing that he is sleeping with his wife after. EWWWW!!!
everyone their own taste. ↑
!!!, I hope you are right about the wife in my situation. I continue to hope for both our sakes there is a point in time for both of us that the bitterness subsides. I am not a demanding woman, but I have made it extremely clear that until this child can be an entity of it's own in their lives I will not allow my child to be around negative. I cannot stop the father from seeing his child, I would not do that anyhow. But since I will be nursing as well , visitation will be basically null in the beginning anyhow. I truly do not expect the father to be much of a father, more like a "God Parent" or "uncle"who comes around when they feel like it or when it is convenient. It does matter to me, but nonetheless my child will be accepted and loved by those I choose to keep close and the father of my two daughters is already wanting to involve this child in his life. Not in a substitute way, but in his eyes this is my child and that is all that matters. I too am coming to accept the same. When I asked the father if he was interested in dr. appts, being at the hospital, and being informed of the pregnancy his answer was" I am not sure" and "I think so". Well either you know or you don't, so until he makes requests his answers are his fate. I am not going to expect, ask, or even suggest anything to him. What he wants to do with his child is up to him. I have very little respect left for him at this point, but that is okay. I do not need his presence for this to be a happy and healthy baby. He is the one who will be missing out, and should he allow his wife to dictate as she is, eventually it will be something they have to re-evaluate not me. ↑
Me Too...I think youve said everything that needs to be said. Stay strong and stick to your guns and everything will turn out fine. Its never going to be easy, but so long as you are surrounded by people who accept what your doing and love you and your children you will be the one to come out on top. The father of your baby and his wife will realise one day that you are a better person than they gave you credit for. Be proud of yourself. x ↑
Why did you allow yourself to become prganant by a married man in the first place? I have just found out about my Husband( that I love very much) just had a baby with another woman a few days ago.. I am devastated, hurt and angry. I don't understand how a woman cound go into a relationship with a man knowing he is married and other people will be hurt.What kind of morals and standards do you have? You derserve everything that happend to you. How do you tell your child later on in life that he was the outcome of an affair you had with a married man and that the Dad didn't want his family to know about it. ↑
To CS: i truly understand how your feeling it's very hurtful and devistating, i'm in the same situation i'm in my beginning stage and i truly agree with angry wife those women knew these men were married and to bring a married child into this world is wrong so many lives is gonna be destroyed and the baby is gonna suffer as well these (mistress) really thinks that them having the baby is a blessing ,eventually they have to explain to there child they was conceived during an affair, and the father's what can you really say, but the wives are the ones that's gonna suffer. ↑
I have a beautiful 4 month old that was fathered by a married man.Yes the affair was in poor taste.I get that it is not a moral decision. However, my child is healthy, loved and a beautiful blessing. I have hurt a lot, and am very aware that there is more heartache to come. Hind sight is 20/20 as they say...and it is very true in this situation. We all make mistakes...so what right do some of you have to condemn others the way you are. Im sure you have made choices in your life I disagree with and would never do, but I would not speak in such a harsh way as some of you have. It is amazing what a sweet talking charmer can do to a womans normally sensible mind. I could go on for a long time about the feelings that you experience when dealing with a situation like this. Yes a mistake was made...but the mistake is never the child!!!!! ↑
I understand that in the last postings there is a lot of pain from the wives. I personally cannot speak for all other women, but I know for myself what I got myself into is much bigger than I could have ever imagined!! I am sorry for any pain involved, and whether I am believed or not is no longer important to me. I know in my heart I am sorry, I did find myself pregnant. And yes as I have been told and now know just being on the pill was not enough. But the fact is, and what my life is now about is there is a baby involved. I could have terminated yes, but that is not what I believe. I do believe that mistakes can be made, and that there is always a lesson to be learned from mistakes. But I feel that when there is a life involved, just getting rid of the mistake in terms of killing a life is selfish and unfair. I am not alone in this belief, just as I know there are endless others who don't understand how I can think this way. I am not having this baby because I loved the father so, I am having my baby because it was created. I am capable of loving my child, and providing it with a life full of love and truths. I won't pretend life is great, but my baby will learn in time that life can be tough but that does not mean I am a bad person.. Me not being with the father, and him not sure of his part in his childs life does not mean my child cannot be loved and find happiness in their life. What I have just posted may not go over well with some, my reason for posting was to let you know that in my life I am sorry for the pain caused by my actions. ↑
