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| Pregnant by a married man |
Question: I have been dating a married man for 2 years now and I just found out I was preganant and he told me to have an abortion or he would leave me. I would not have an aborption so he left. I went and told his wife becuase he thought if he left then his parents and his wife would never find out. I am still going to keep my baby but I am just sad and need someone to talk to because everything's just messed up and now his parents hate him and his wife might leave him and I am afraid he will hurt himself. And that is something I could not live with because it would partially be my fault. I still love him but I am afraid that he will never ever see me again or his child. ?
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| Answer: As you know you can not make choices for anyone else. If this man choose to not be a part of his childs life that is his loss. You on the hand need to care for yourself and unborn child. You've made a very wise choice in keeping your baby. The two of you will have a lifetime of love. God bless!!! = |
| Answer: Hey Mama Bear, You were right to go to his parents and his wife. The baby is most important right now, and has the right to know her/his grandparents, step mom, etc. The wife's decision to leave is soley her decision, and frankly, I believe if it were not you who broke the news to her, the next woman would have. His parents ought to be pissed at him - he's a married man afterall! But if he's threatening to hurt himself that's his own psychological issue. There's nothing you or anyone can do. I've seen men use this kind of b.s. as a cry for help. He did wrong, now he wants sympathy. You should pity him, not feel bad for him. He needs more than anyone can offer him right now - and that's his own self confidence. And not to be accusatory - but what are you doing dating a cheating man!?! You deserve better than that! Best of luck to you and congratulations on your gift! = |
| Answer: Thank you girls for your support. It means alot. Well I decided the best thing for me to do is move out of my apartments. Oh yeah I didnt say before that we live in the same complex. Eventhough he is moving at the end of the month. I just need to get away from there. When I first told him and he said he was going to leave me if I did not have an abortion he told me what does it matter if you have an abortion, your going to hell anyways for sleeping with a married man and that hurt alot. But I think I am starting to get over this whole situation at least trying that is and hopefully things will be better in the future. I just need to stay strong for the baby and myself. He will only text message me but he will not call me on the phone so I guess that is a good thing. But I got kind of pissed b/c he had a set of keys to my house and he threw them away b/c his wife told him to. So I told him I should throw away his things then. UHH! Everything happens for a reason and I have already asked God for forgiveness b/c at least I can admit that I sinned but I told him if he wants forgiveness he ask to ask for it. He is not as spiritual as I am. I am just wondering now if his parents will be apart of this child's life. I know they are upset right now but hopefully they will come around. As for him I think he is just trying so hard to work things out with his wife. I guess that could be a good thing but I just she is dumb if she decides to stay with him not because I want him back though. They have been married for 3 years and he has been with me for 2 and other women before me. He has been cheating on her with different women since they had been married for only 2 months. Isnt that sad? Would he do the same thing to me? Probaly. She asked me if I think that he liked me. And I told her deep down inside I do believe that he loves me but not as much as he loved her. It's obvious to me who he chose. But I know from now on he will always be apart of my life. = |
| Answer: Good For you!!!! I'm proud of you!!! You go girl! ;) = |
| Answer: Mama Bear I've been there. I was pregnant by a married man who BEGGED me to KEEP the baby. He sat with tears in his eyes and his hand on my stomach and pleaded with me. I was younger and stupid and I didn't want the only reason he was with me to be a baby. I had an abortion and told him I lost the child...I know, it was horrible. He then found out his wife was pregnant and we went our separate ways. I will NEVER forgive myself for what I did. This was four years ago and I still wish I had had her. Any man who asks you to have an abortion does not love you. Just concentrate on your baby and the rest will work itself out. = |
| Answer: Well it has been a week since everyone found out and I think I am at that stage where I could care less what he does with his life. He gets on my nerves and he keeps trying to make me feel guilty about him trying to commit suicide. And I am like if you were trying to commit suicide you would have already done it you are just trying to make people feel sorry for yourself. I did tell him I was moving but not where I was going because I could not get in contact with his parents at first because they just moved and I told my best friend that I think they lived somwhere around her and it turns out we drove around and we found there cars parked in front of there new home. Isn't it weird how these things just seem to work out. So I am moving in with her and it is practically walking distance to his parents so I dont want to let him know quit yet. Mentally I am in a better place but when I start to pack my things I get very sad. When I confronted his wife I didnt tell her everything and I never went over to try and destroy their relationship but I could have said so much that I just held back because I was afraid she would not believe me if I told her too much. But I found out that he ended up telling her everything but since he is back home he probaly made it sound like it was all me. But it does matter to me what his parents think about me, eventhough they probaly think I am a slut but honestly yeah I was wrong but I dont think I am slut for being in love with him. = |
| Answer: Dealing with the married man, anything could been possible. First of all he didn't leave the wife during the 2 yrs. that you were together and wasn't planning to. I think that he played you and eventually didn't care for you but just wanted the sex. = |
| Answer: Hi Dear
My husband at one time had another woman pregnant. It caused so much pain. But what every lady must realize that dealing with a married man, there is no future. I think you should keep the baby but consider that you caused a life long confusion. It happened with us.Pray to God for forgiveness on your behalf and that the wife will forgive you. = |
| Answer: Dear Mama Bear - i just found out i was pregnant by the married man i have been seeing for 2-1/2 years. he begs me to have an abortion, but why should my unborn child suffer for her father. he will probably never talk to me again but thats his choice. the baby is the only thing important right now & hopefully everything will work out inthe long run. i am staying positive for my baby. = |
| Answer: I am pregnant by a married man too but I didnt know about it until the day I told him I was pregnant. Im keeping my baby but he is moving on with his wife and other children. I just say take one day at a time and I know everything can be frustrating cause I want him to be there for me during this time but he acts like Im nothing now. I feel so sad sometimes but I make it through somehow. take care and God Bless u = |
| Answer: I know that you must be deeply hurt. I have been involved with a married man before. However, You need to take this baby, raise it on your own and love it 100 times more than a child with a mother and father. What kind of a man would insist on a woman having an abortion? Let this question really sink in. Married or not. He should've been the one to tell his family. He chose not to. So you did. You did the right thing. He made his bed, now he must lie in it. If you are concerned that he might hurt himself. Call your local suicide prevention hotline and give them his name and number and address and let them handle the rest. As for you...I know that you're deeply deeply hurt. The best thing for you to do is to keep your head up, raise the baby, and never look back. Someday, the right guy will come into your life and love you for you. Baby and all. Till then...No regrets ..Good luck to you! = |
| Answer: It's so good to know I am not the only one that is pregnant by a married man. Well the baby and I are doing great so far. I just dont understand him though. He thinks that he is a sex addict which he probaly is but what we had was more than sex and no one can convince any different. I just dont know how to feel because he still talks to me and he always asks me ?'s about the future like what I am going to do after I have the baby. And I am just thinking in my head why do you keep asking me if u dont care about me? We have had sex since he has told me that he will not stay with me but hey I need some too and I am not about to go anywhere else. :) And it is always mutual thing. So if he loves his wife so much then why does he continue to talk to me and see me. He is going to these anynomous sex classes and I wonder if it working? but I guess not if he is still seeing me. This weekend I moved out and in with a friend & he moved out and in w/his parents so him and his wife could save money and what do u you, his parents are like walking distance from me. Im still confused but not in a sad stage anymore, which is good for both the baby and I. I am taking day by day and hopefully maybe he will realize that I am having his child... = |
| Answer: Nini, dont give up! You never know what will happen tomorrow but that doesnt mean sit here and think that he will change and be with you. I really dont know what to say b/c in my situation there are no kids. But if he has children with his wife now do u think thats why he stays with her? = |
| Answer: He has been married for 2 years!
He wanted you to get rid of the evidence?
You’re worried that his wife might leave him?
Concentrate on your baby.
He's not worth it. Why did you bother with a married man??????
GOD BLESS YOUR BABY!
= |
| Answer: MARRIED MAN!!!!!!!!
you should not of gone there.
Just say No!
and a baby is involed????????????
Poor child! = |
| Answer: It's lot easier for you to come on here and say why did you mess with a married man and just say no! Have you ever been in a situation where you knew something was wrong and you did it anyways? Im sure everyone has and people make mistakes and at least I can admit it was a mistake. I am not the only person who is the wrong in this situation, he is also the one who cant keep his d*** in his pants. So dont come on here and act like like I am the only person wrong! It's obvious that he will continue what he is doing regardless if it is me or someone else. He is not my issue anymore it is my baby. = |
| Answer: Good, the baby is the most important part of all this and yes he does seem like he will do it again so why worry if he sees the baby or not who needs a father like that -I had one
You can't call 2 years a mistake! 2 times maybe.? Good luck anyway hope you do well! = |
| Answer: hey mama bear. wow god must've led me to this website. I just got off the phone w/ my ex who I have been dating for five years. it was a good relationship. we were "soulmates" (until he decided after three years that he wanted to marry his baby momma..who i did not even know existed until 3 weeks before the wedding i did not know about) we were still messing around because he said he didn't love her and he was only here for his little girl and that he would leave once the little one got older. well i just found out im 2mths pregnant last week. he has a nerve to call and say, this is not right..i'm married. (huh? why werent you talking like this a year ago or 2 mths ago.) he said that his life is over and that he thinks i should get an abortion because this is punishment from god. funny he was never so "spiritual" before he found out. he said that his family told him to leave me alone and he was "hardheaded" and that this situation was "giving him badluck" cause he knew he was sinning (this is all new to me. this is a really hurting revelation because for a while there his so called family was acting "hunky dorry"...they knew about everything we was doing) he said that he is really just trying to be there for his daughter and that he feels like he let his wife and child down. (huh?) needless to say yall, i got played. you would think after watching so many "Lifetime" movies, i would know better. but you know what mama bear? everything happens for a reason. and even out of mess god can bless. i just found out that my father is dying and even though i would have wanted him to see me get married first...god has a way of getting what he wants.(even from the sinners) so be encouraged. and when our babies become rich and famous..i want them "jokers" to remember how much they didn't want the child.
p.s i would really like us to keep in touch throughout the pregnancy..if not i will pray for you.
god bless = |
| Answer: I have also been in the same situation with a married man, and we now have a 6 month old son. I have read all the entries and it amazes me that I am not alone. I too love this man and really believes he loves me but as the one lady said, when they are married there is no future. The problem I am having now is that he does not want me to move on, he wants me and his wife b/c he says he loves me to much to let me go. He sees the baby everyday even though "she" thinks he doesn't. Just be strong and pray, b/c only God can get us out of this mess and it is a one day at a time process especially when your feelings are involved. Take Care = |
| Answer: Our daughter was conceived in the same situation. We adopted our daughter and it has been a blessing.
Her birthmother was dating a married man with six children when they became pregnant. They met us on the internet via our adoption site and the rest is history. He is still married with kids and our dear birthmother choose life for our daughter. We have a wonderful relationship! Good luck and best wishes!
Nicole
http://www.adoptionprayer.com
= |
| Answer: I have a 20 month old by a married man that I was seeing for over two years. He never had any intention on my keeping this baby because this is not my first pregnancy by him. I ended up telling his wife and his mother. He no longer comes to see her but I did take him to Child Support which he now pays. He may not want anything to do with you or the child which is his loss, but make him responsible at least financially for the baby sake. = |
| Answer: Women who date Married Man?? Cant any of this lady have self worth and just say NO?? That's way Divorce is the way it is...these Men know there are a lot of women willing to play there games, that's what encourage them is women like you. If more of you stood up for yourself and found a loving man that can dedicate themselves to you, you wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. All these stories are ALL the same..."I was involved with a married man, now Im pregnant...boo hoo, I told his wife, he doensn't want me" Duh, your not the marriage material obviously if you are willing to be his other women. I HOPE EVERYONE learns from your post. There is defenitely no future with a married man. = |
| Answer: I did not know he was married but by the time I found out I was already caught up. There is no excusing my actions but I have to deal with the consequences which I will and make sure my child is taken care of. = |
| Answer: I have a 14 month old by a married man.I tried to tell him secretly that i was going to keep her a secret until he said he didnt want nothing to do with her because he had enough kids.As if the asshole didnt know the risks of cheating.I told everyone also but to make things worse i was 15 and he was 20.His wife says its my fault and we are still waiting on the attorney general to schedule an apointment because now he thinks im lieing about him being her father. = |
| Answer: I have nothing to be ashamed of.I have a 15 month old daughter by a married man.I look at it this way.Us women are not the ones to blame for men cheating.They are.They made the choice to go out and find a woman to cheat with.Why should we be ashamed? Im sure that the reason you are saying we should keep our legs closed is because your husbands cheated.I dont recall anyone on here asking for sympathy so get a life and move on.Its not our fault guys dont know what the meaning of vows are. = |
| Answer: Apparently women don't know the meaning of vows either. It's a two way street with two way consequences, A woman can say no, men can say no aswell (HA!) We know how men are! = |
| Answer: For everyone's information I was conceived out of wedlock. My mother had an affair with a married man, she believed he loved her and would leave his family for her. Of course he didn't. I grew up wondering why my father had another family and why he didn't want me. I was harrassed by my half sibblings, (we lived in the same town) they called me and my mom names whenever we would bump into each other. I don't know why I had to be put through this, I hated my mother at one point. It is nothing to be proud of, I just wished my mother would have had more self respect. = |
| Answer: I know I am not the only one to be pregnant by a married man, and I am absolutely not proud of it. But the fact is I am and now I must deal!! I have not told him, and don't really know how I am going to deal with things yet. All I know is that I cannot abort, I have no reason to punish a child for what I have done. Eventually he will find out, and right now he is sensing there is something different about me. When I met him we were both married, and each seeking what we thought was missing. 2.5 years have passed, and I am in the process of divorce, and basically as I had this other relationship established it just worked. I never wanted him for myself, and he has told me himself that if he were to become single I would move on. But here I am , I have two children ages 5 & 8 and now a baby. I did not plan to post, but just felt compelled to once I read a few of the stories on here of others. I guess all I can say is that we all make mistakes, they are what make us who we are. Nobody can judge another as they don't know the circumstances or what they are feeling. But to know there are others like me, and they have compassion in their hearts for the unborn or born from a married man is comforting. = |
| Answer: Look just because we are pregnant by married men dont mean we broke any vows.Im not even old enough to be married.Im only 17 and the guy i slept with was 21.At the time i was 15 and he was 19.I cant say im not ashamed of it but the wifes cant put all the blame on us.Aparently they arent doing something right because if they were, their guys wouldnt be with us.I think thats every married womans problem.They listen to these guys when they tell them itll never happen again.It always does. = |
| Answer: My concern now is how to deal with my daughter regarding her father. I don't want to lie to her but I don't want to damsge her more than the news is going to. No one has the right to judge anyone we have all made mistakes, bad decision/choices whatever you want to call it. We should have no but we didn't now we are dealing with the consequences but like as what was mention what led your men to us in the first place. It is easier to put the blame on someone besides self. Some men are just greedy and want there cake and eat it too but normally something is lacking and/or there is a problem. = |
| Answer: it is so easy for the women to try and judge the women who have had babies/been pregnant/ or had an affair with a married man. My baby is 6 months and the best thing that could of happened to me. He was born into a bad situation and we both love him. i never thought that this would of been me but like one post said, we all make mistakes and for those of you who are trying to put us down, get over yourself because i know you are not perfect. One thing i can telll the women in in the same situation I have been in is to just stay strong, we too have morals and values, and just have gotten into bad sitautions..Remember Even Out of Mess God Will Bless... = |
| Answer: my question is for the post from "understanding"...you say your baby is 6 mos old and the best thing that ever happened to you...do you have any other children?? That is what I am beginning to fear so much, I have other children and cannot imagine how I am going to approach this with them. They will want to know why the baby has a different last name, I don't even know what the baby's last name will be. I haven't yet told the father, and I don't know if I want him to know at this point. = |
| Answer: hey, "me too", yes i have two other children they are 8 and 6, my 8 yr old has questioned the last name but she also knows that he has a different dadddy and that is why. I was also very worrried about what I wa going to tell them but in the end when they get older I am just going to tell the truth and let them know that we all make mistakes. When I say the best thing that ever happened, I mean b/c I was going to abort and I am so glad I didn't he has gave me and my children new joy and no matter what the circumstances, he is a part of me. It is going to be hard explaining things when they get older but when they make mistakes they will be met by me with a lot of understanding b/c I have made them too. = |
| Answer: Dear understanding, your story or at least your perspective sounds so much like what I am feeling in my heart!! My daughters are 5 & 8, so to hear you found peace while still having other children helps me so much!! Of course the one person who I broke down and told yesterday asked what my plans were, terminating just does not work for me. I know deep in my soul, as hard as having this baby may be it would be worse personally to deal with the guilt. I don't condemn those who do please don't get me wrong....I just know that there is no reason for a woman like me to terminate. Children are my passion and always have been.
I have more questions for you "understanding" and I hope you don't mind sharing, please tell me if you don't!! But are you still seeing the father? Does your 8 year old see him? My 8 year old is the one I worry about the most, she is her Daddy's angel and she will be dying to know why her Dad is not the father. Maybe I am being to over-protective as the world is full of special circumstances I don't know. But any wisdom and words you are willing to share I greatly welcome!!
Thank you so much!! = |
| Answer: Dear "me too", Don't get me wrong, having the baby was one of the hardest things I have done b/c of the situation and then I also had to deal with the lectures/anger/ and other problems from my first two childrens father even though we have not been together for over 4 yrs. The adjust from having older kids to a baby was hard and then since he the father is married I cam home from the hospital basically alone. Taking care of three is a lot harder then two b/c the are two different generations of children, the older has different needs then the baby, but as you see i made it through and every day it gets easier. My eight yr old, a girl does see the baby';s father come around and she also is a daddy's girl, but since she sees that her father still comes over and the baby's father she knows that she is loved and having different fathers does not mean that she will be treated any differently. The baby's father comes over everyday, but we have so many problems it is unreal, he has the "nerve" to tell me he does not want his "son" around other men and now that his wife knows, there is so much.
y daughter always talks about the last name being different but she says," even though we have different last names we have the same momma". You can never be too over-protective b/c at first i was ashamed and did not want to explain that I was having a baby and n ot married, but children know a lot more then we think they do, If you have the baby and the father truly want sto be apart of his/her life, then you need to consider that even though you are worried about him being around the other children this child has a right as well to know its father. Children don't ask to be here, and unless you don't think he is trustworthy enough to be around your children then I would understand. I would like to talk to you outside of this posting b/c we could probably help each other..I will write back later = |
| Answer: Dearest Understanding, I am glad you would like to continue contact outside of here,I too think it will help us. The father (I only just found out, and am only 6 weeks) still does not know, and he is out of town. I struggle daily with this situatuion, but today hearing his voice just hit me. There is so much more to my story, and there is so much shame. Again I am not proud, but here I am so I must deal!! My children know him, and so I do not fear him around them. Just a very akward situation all the way around. Again I am not sure how/when/if I will share this information til it is obvious I am pregnant. I guess I should stop and save more for later, look forward to chatting more. And Thank you for your support, I think that once I get a better grasp on things I will be a better support for you as well. Not just me inquiring ;-) = |
| Answer: I am happy to talk with you, I know that i can be more of a help to you now b/c I have already been through what u are going through. Don't worry about me b/c all I need is someone to vent to every once in a while b/c I am still seeing the father and can't seem to get out of the situation. Don't be ashamed b/c things happen just understand that Jesus died for our sins and no one is perfect, NO ONE.. if u really want this baby then u need to concentrate right now on not stressing b/c stress can lead to a miscarriage..I am trying to figure out a way to get u my own personal email address so people who do not need it will not get it..thisis funny to me b/c i usually never respond to these and now i am writing several times a day...talk to u sooon = |
| Answer: understanding , do you use any messengers? we can each sign on and then exchange addresses there?? i had absolutely no intention of posting anything on here just found this by accident and something about your post just hit home for me. i look forward to reading your posts too..talk soon jen = |
| Answer: Hey "me too", I set up a an email account so that u can email me and after i get ur message I will give u my personal one, so email me at understanding2005@sbcglobal.net and i will contact u back..bye = |
| Answer: Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral = |
| Answer: I have a question for the Christian:
There are sins that are committed because of life circumstances. such as, some people steal because their children are starving. Is that forgivable by God?
In the case of Marriage being honored by all, what if a totally nieve and gullable woman were tricked into adultry with a married man. Is that exempt from God's judgement? What if I woman were molested as a child by her own father or uncle, wouldn't that distort her perception of marriage and wouldn't that be forgivable by God?
I'm sure there are all kinds of reasons for doing things that are understandable and forgivable.
I think there is a reason why the bible says those who are without sin can cast the first stone. I don't know why christians are always the ones who judge and crucify everyone. Why is that? = |
| Answer: I think like it says God will judge, we are no one to judge. We don't know circumstances, but marriage should be a sacred thing especially for those who "know" what they are doing is wrong. No one is free from sin, but try to live your life as decent as possible, God will judge at the end not men...there are far worse things than adltery but a sin is a sin. God is love and forgiving so look for him for strenght. = |
| Answer: To the Hebrew 13 v. 4...this is a posting for support not judging so i suggest u find an alternate place to read...oh and let me guess..u probably never made a mistake and u were probably a "real" virgin when u married, never cursed, never lied, etc...so if u have not did one thing in ur life that is considered a sin then you must be JESUS all over again...get a life and stop judging people.a as far as "sarah" said that is true we should all try to live life as decent as possible and even then we are all going to make mistakes.. = |
| Answer: well i hsve something to say, i'm in the same boat i'm thw wife and my husband had an affair and now the bitch is pregnant,yes i totally blame my husband he the one married but also the the mistress new he was married and got pregnant, i felt like she should of got an abortion because the child shouldn't be here and i have no pitty for no one her,baby but i love my husband and she'll never have him so she's having the baby out of spite but that's on her she have to live with that i'm sorry but your wrong DEAD WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = |
| Answer: hey boogie...no woman would have a baby out of spite! A child is not a tool, and your husband took the chance just as she did. Her life is not going to be easy, it sounds like you are going to punish this poor child for your husbands poor judgement. That is not fair to the child, children do not choose their life or family situations. They are innocent and should never be punished for what two consenting grown people have done. I can understand your resentment and anger, but just as the woman took the chance so did your husband but the baby did not. So I hope for the childs sake you are able to properly place your anger and hate elsewhere!! This site is for women what want to talk, not for condemning and judging. Telling you are upset and hurt is okay, but I do not think you are right to come on here and judge without knowing any of the situations. And I am sorry, but I just can't feel or pity a woman who can actually be so bitter towards a child. I know you do not realize what you are doing, but blaming your husband and his mistress is the only place the disgust and shock you are feeling..not the innocent life they have created. And if you make this Hell for her, I am sure she will survive but your husband will be responsible for financial help. And if you are lucky you won't lose your husband out of such hate. = |
| Answer: To Me Too: You have got to be crazy or REALLY naive if you think a woman would not get pregnant or have a baby out of spite because they will. I'm not saying that this woman did that but I know of women who have done it. Or they got pregnant to trap a man. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. Yes dear, there are some women who are manipulative and will try and get pregnant out of spite or to keep a man... = |
| Answer: If you are sure women do this , such as having baby out of spite you must also realize that her life is not going to be easy. Having a child is never simple, and no matter what the man is also responsible. If he took the chance of her getting pregnant he also knew what he was doing. My main concern is always the child, nothing is ever their fault. And I just hope that all around the child remember that and love the child as itself not just a product of a disliked situation. I am not here to argue a point please understand, just trying to perhaps stick up for the unborn child. Opinions can be helpful, but condemning just is not fair. = |
| Answer: I also feel for the child and would never condone punishing an innocent child for the irresponsible behavior of two consenting adults. My only point is that there are women out ther who indeed get pregnant out of spite. The saddest thing is even though it is the responsibilty of the man and the woman a lot of times the woman still ends up alone and gets stuck with all of the responsibilites and the man just walks away. Either way, its not the child's fault and that is an awful situation to bring a child into... = |
| Answer: Oh and you're right condeming is not fair and not our place to do. But if you knowingly do this for your own selfish reasons you will reap what you sow... = |
| Answer: Well to "boogie"..ur husbabnd had an affair, girl pregnant, u are so sure she is a bitch..WHAT ABOUT YOUR SO CALLED MAN HONEY.. u sound like a fool fighting for him b/c he CHEATED ON U... so figure out why he is stepping out, u do not even know what he told that woman.. and be sure to remember the baby did not want to be here so make sure u don't mistreat it...and if women like u would make ur husbands responsible instead of acting like he was wronged then we would not have so many of these situations... = |
| Answer: Yes the married men tell these outrages lies and when you find out the true facts you are already caught up or crossed the line with these men. For them to go to these extremes their is something missing at home. A lot of the women don't know your men are married. Put your anger in the proper place. = |
| Answer: Well, I agree that the man should be accountable also because it takes two to tango. And a lot of the men do lie to the other woman. But it is not necessarily true that something is missing at home. To be honest, some men are just dogs and if there was really something missing they would just leave their wives. Lets make excuses for the men because chances are if he cheats on his wife, the on he made vows to, he will cheat on you too. Anyone he is married can tell you that it won't always be perfect but the bottom line is you both made a commitment and in a commitment you choose to stay committed. You don't run out and have an affair when things get bumpy. That's what marriage is. So don't say something is missing at home cause that is not always true. The problem sometimes is lack of commitment and others times is he wants to have his cake and eat it too. The other woman has to stop thinking that you can save him and make him happy the majority of the time it doesn't work like that because if he cheats on his wife he will cheat on you too... = |
| Answer: Okay I will reword it something is missing and yes I do agree some men are just dogs and no marriage or relationship is perfect but something has changed missing but something is going on but when it comes down to it a marriage is a commitment and should not be broken regardless of what the problem is or if something is lacking. = |
| Answer: tell me why married men cheat with single women and the women are blamed?? It seems funny b/c he took vows not here she is free to do as she pleases but dog men, confused men, lonely men ,and selfish men see another women and think damn, wish i were not married...then one day they decide to say F*** my wife, i want a new woman, and then he usually pulls into a web of deceit some unsuspecting single woman...and then all the bull starts....to all the wives, if he did it to u once, leave, b/c most likely he wil do it again..... = |
| Answer: Men may cheat when their wives think everything is fine at home. He may want his cake and eat it too, he may know there are certain things his wife won't do or deal with and seek another. Or another may just end up being a part of his life one way or another. The issues at home may be his own, and he is not man enough to sit down with his wife and openly talk to her and let her know how he feels. We all change in our lives and in our marriages, but if we never ever allow our spouses into our hearts and thoughts then we are truly hurting ourselves as well as the one we love. So to blame the woman from the "affair" is not always right. If he lies and says he is not married he is wrong, if he says he is married but still has needs and tries to convince himself that what he is doing won't hurt his wife as long as she never finds out, of course he is still wrong. But just like the woman he is asking and consenting. The woman is not to blame, they both are. He took his own chance at jeapordizing his marriage and he must be held accountable. Should the woman become pregnant (and I understand some believe there are women who do it on purpose, and they are the stereotype) it must be understood he took the exact same risk as she did. Maybe he fell into the trap of "it won't happen to me" or if it does he feels he can give her money and she will just deal. Many times the man does this and he still gets to be intimate with the woman, but again that is not all women.
I was on the pill, and in the extremely small percentage that become pregant on the pill and now I must deal with the circumstance. I do not say consequence cause that means I will resent this child. I could also terminate this pregnancy, but that is selfish and only saving his ass. I will do what I must, and I have given him the option of being part of it or not. This is my choice and my life, and I am sure I will get many different views on this. All I can say is this is what happened, obviously happens and I am being responsible enough to handle the situation I have found myself in the way I personally feel for my life. Oddly enough I am not bitter, and have absolutely no intention of telling his wife. That would mean I am punishing him and demanding he accept the decision I have made, and that he said only I can make. We all have our choices, and I made mine based on the reality I have a child growing inside of me and it will and can be loved as it deserves!! = |
| Answer: Ok, but doesn't your baby also DESERVE to grow with his father by his side, to have a real family? What done is done, but for other women in the same boat, men and think it's all fun and games...The children always suffer at the end, I just hope your children have a good support system to get through the confusion and questions of Why does my daddy have another family?? = |
| Answer: Amen,me too!
You know what the funny thing is?
No on can judge you but God.
And the good thing is is that God is a forgiving God.
Remember all sins are weighed the same. (except blasphemy and suicide)
I am in the same situation but I chose to give my life to God and face the mistakes made like a real child of God.
There is no point in committing another sin by having an abortion.
I no longer deal with the childs father although he would have rathered us still mess around.
He already said he wants nothing to do with the child because he already has a family.
I wish I would have known all of this before.
But all I can do now is accept it.
I have no desire of even contacting the wife because I am not trying to hurt her but I am praying to God that He will bless her with a better man than the one she is with.
I thank God for this opportunity to give life and will not take it for granted. I thank God that he has forgiven me for my sins.
And I thank God for all of the mothers on this forum who are trying to be strong and start a new life with their child.
I will pray for us and the children because God loves us enough. Forget the rest. They were put on this forum to make us strong.
We will be alright.
Stay strong and be blessed. = |
| Answer: you are a sinner that has to pay the price for your sins... You let your naive emotions out think your logic to thinking that this man really loved you now you have to take care of the baby alone and you still don't get the man- was it really woth it silly goose? = |
| Answer: YOU HAVE BEEN DATING A MARRIED MAN FOR 2 YEARS AND FELL IN HIS TRAP! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT 2 YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO INVESTIGATE HIS HOME OR FAMILY HISTORY- COME ON NOW - YOU CAN'T BE THAT WIPPED? SISTER WHERE DOES SELF WORTH AND JESUS FIT IN - YOU SHOUL HAVE KNOW HE WASN'T A REAL MAN OF GOD IF HE DIDN'T HAVE THE DECENCY TO BRING HOME TO MEET HIS MA-MA
STUPID MOVES - ONLY BRING STUPID RESULTS! LEAVE HIM ALONE GET THE CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AND LEAVE TOWN AND GET SAVED! THEN MAKE BETTER CHOICES IN MEN! OH AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD YOU HELP CREATE!! think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = |
| Answer: Here is what I just don't understand?? There are women on here who have found themselves in situations that they find difficult for their lives. But then there are those of you who just type hurtful, negative, and condemning messages. What do you really gain from tossing stones yet not having any solutions to back your anger?? Every woman on here who is using this as a pregnancy info site as it is just that, has kind words and is encouraging to the others. We all have our own opinions sure, but to just come on here say horrid things and nothing in a positive note just makes me feel sad for you as you must be in a position of your own and need to seek guidance elsewhere. Because your words on here obviously are not helpful, and I am sure if you feel better afterwards it is only a brief release. = |
| Answer: TO "THINK " AND "BLESSED" first of all i think it is clear that "we" have ALL sinned, but what u are forgetting is that the name JESUS/GOD that u are throwing out died for our sins so no one has to forgive us but him...and no one said that while dating the married men we never found out..what was said is that there is a problem now and "we"( the other women) are crying out for help and support from those who are going or have gone through similar situations.. it is easier said then done to advise "us" to leave the man alone b/c it sometimes is just not that easy...when emotions and emotional attachment become involved along with love, it becomes real life issues..b/c everyone is/has/been with someone they want and can't be with ..vice versa...and with the comment he hasn't brought u home to meet ma-ma, well honey u don't know anything b/c there are those of us who know ma-ma, daddy and the whole family, I speak from experience..my son knows them and they know me very well, they understand how things happen, not condoning it , but not judging me or him(the married man who is also apart of their family)...I advise u to find another forum to post ur judgemental thoughts on b/c u are wasting time and space for those of us who really have something to say... = |
| Answer: in response to the one who questioned my baby deserving to know it's father and family...sure my child deserves it. But only the father can decide if he wants that or not. What I am doing is what I feel is right, I am having this baby with or without his support. Wrong or not, this is my choice. I have told him he can know this child, and I will never deny him contact with this child. But right now he is worried about his ass, his family, I am of minimal concern. So just as I must be strong for this baby, I am being strong for myself too. This is not a time where we can sit and feel sorry for ourselves, we must be strong and the men can only do what they want at this point. We choose to have this child, and he gets to go home to his family and not be the one who deals with the baby. But complaining about this will do us no good, if we choose to carry this child then we are wise and strong enough to know we can do this!! = |
| Answer: YOU GOT IT I'M BACK............. GUESS WHAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT READ THE TRUTH!
HERE IT IS... I APPRECIATE YOUR WORDS OF "SOMEWHAT" ENCOURAGEMENT TO THE SISTER IN NEED OF HELP... BUT LETS FACE IT! IF YA CAN'T STAND THE HEAT GET OUT - THE KICTHEN! PEOPLE LUST AND SIN IT UP IN THE BED ROOM AND WHEN IT'S TIME TO REAP WHAT THEY SOW- PEOPLE WANT SIMPATHY- PLEASE-----THE PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD TODAY IS THAT MOST PEOPLE SHY AWAY FROM THE TRUTH- WE ARE LIVING IN A "EVERYTHING GOES SOCIETY" THEN WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEONE GIVING IT TO THEM RAW AND REAL- THEN PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE BEING COMDEMED! WELL GUESS WHAT I'M NOT GOING TO BITE MY TOUNGE FOR MY VIEW POINTS! MAYBE BY PUTTING IT SO RAW AND BLUNT MANY SISTERS WOULDN'T BE SO NAIVE IN THEIR DESSION MAKING! YES MEN ARE FULL OF SHI#@ YES THEY LIE - YES THEY CHEAT- SO KNOWING THIS INFO- WHICH HAD INFACT BEEN HAPPING SINCE BIBLICAL DAYS- WOULDN'T THAT GIVE WOMEN A SMALL BIT OF INSIGHT TO BE THE MORE PRECAUTIOUS? DAH! WE HAVE TO BE STRONGER! WE HAVE TO BE WISER WER HAVE TO PROTECT OURSELVES AND NOT GET SO CAUGHT UP EMOTIONALY WHEN SEX IS INVOLVED!! NO ONE WANTS TO HER THE TRUTH--- MOST WANT ME TO SAY...ok baby you ok... PLEASE SHE KNEW- HE KNEW NOW THEY MUST FACE THE MUSIC!! SO DO YOU THAT WHY YOU ARE DEFENDING SIN! I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH HURT...:) = |
| Answer: What I am not understanding "think" is that you seem to think we don't want to face the truth. The point I think we are trying to make is that YOU have no PLACE to throw judgement. There is a difference between giving opinions and just being judgemental. You seem very passionate-So why don't you find another website to express your "passionate views". The women on here don't want your sympathy..we have everything we need in Christ.
But like I said before...people like you were put on this earth to make us stronger.
And by the way...Im glad you recognize that these things happened in the Biblical times...Im sure all of us (even you) are a product of someone "sinning"
Be "Blessed" = |
| Answer: AMEN "MOMMIE" Hopefully we will shut "think" up...all that preaching and judging, and telling us we want sympathy is wrong. she obviously has not been reading the postings well or can not understand them..and we all know what we are dealing with without hearing ANOTHER negative voice..because no matter what, I dstick true to my words....EVEN OUT OF MESS, GOD WILL BLESS! = |
| Answer: Fellow compassionate women, we all are taking a chance using this site for support. I say that those who choose to use this site to condemn those of us in situations they do not "really" know about or understand, just don't deserve our energy. Let them post, say words to us that really are their own disappointments in other areas of something they are not happy about in their lives. And we can continue to seek support and strength in numbers. There is always one who tries to ruin things, let them try. From what I am getting here, and from what I read from others who really are trying this can be a good thing! So keep talking, keep helping others, and save our energy for our families we are building. An old teacher of mine from grade school used to always say "don't feed the monkeys" ..meaning those who are seeking attention by acting out just are not worth it. So let's stop feeding the monkey(s) and be strong together!! = |
| Answer: 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2
"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
= |
| Answer: Why on earth did you even bother to tell his wife and family. If you had in fact been with him for 2 years then you should have known he was not going to leave his wife for you. IIts not my intension to upset anyone here, but i have been in a similar situation as you (me being the wife), and i know how upsetting this can be. I however did tell my dh that it was entirely up to him if he wanted to see his baby, but i wanted nothing to do with it. I had a mouthful of abuse from the other woman saying that it was my fault that her baby had no daddy. I did point out to her though, that he is MY husband and SHE was the other woman, she should have been more sensible (as well as him) in taking precautions or even better kept her legs crossed. Looking at the situation now, my advice to any woman having an affair with a married man is this, have more respect for yourself, if he is not willing to be entirely with you then is it worth having a relationship with him, if the affair is going on for a period of time you need to ask yourself why he is still with his wife, he more than likely has a good marriage and is in fact lying to you about 'what its really like'. As i have already said it is not my intension to upset anyone, i just wanted to give a little advice and insite in what its like for the wife in a situation like this. My situation has turned my world upside down, i have been married for 10 years and have fertility problems, so this was the ultimate betrayal. I have had 2 m/c the last was a result of being told my husband had had an affair and got the other woman pregnant. I myself am the sort of person who does not give up easy though, i took my vows and intend to keep them. It was my dh decision not the see the baby and we are going though counselling to help in our relationship. Ladies if you are having an affair with a married man, please think about the consequenses and the upset that you both could cause by doing this. = |
| Answer: To the entry about the husband not sing tha baby..I could understand ur point about u not seing the baby especially with the fertility problems and all butit really pulled on my heart when u said that ur husband decided not to see the baby, so now we have a child, imagine a innocent life/baby/toddler/teen who was brought into this world by the acts of TWO adults, ur husband and girlfriend, and then he just says Forget the baby, how selfish and wrong can that be? Do you understand my point? He has no right to injure this child by not acknowledging it, it will be hard, but the baby has no choice as of what situation it is born into..I am the other woman and am sorry for all the hurt and pain caused to u and the woman of my situation, and it was 2 yrs, I was truly deceived and a man can make u really think that what he is sayingis true, i wish could of spent a week in my shoes and thenu would know. Please consider making ur husband responsible for the life he made, we have enough children suffering in the world, why make another? Imagine if u did get pregnant and he left ur baby, would u be so understanding? = |
| Answer: To Understsanding. I do understand what your saying, and i do understand that women a can be taken in by such things and such men. Everybodys situation is different. I had told my husband that it was his choice whether or not he wanted to see the baby and his initial decision was that he wanted to be a part of the babys life , which i completely understood and respected, i however was not strong enough at the time to personally have any contact with the baby, which i explained to him that with time would probably change. The dilema he had though was after speaking to the other woman, she herself had decided that if he didnt want her it also meant he didnt want the baby, and no amount of talking would change her mind, which of course resulted in him having no contact with his son. I myself had said to her exactly what you said to me, that the child has done nothing wrong and deserves the right to know both parents, but to no avail. My husband does support the baby financially and all his personal details and pictures and such are with the other womans mother, who gladly took them with the hope that 1 day the baby will want to know who his father is. Im trying not to be bitter about the situation and have since talked to the babys grandmother (who happens to be very understanding) and explained my feelings about the situation and her daughter, not so much about the affair but the events which have taken place since she became pregnant. Both myself and my husband have hope that the baby will grow up and realise that his father not seeing him was not because he didnt want to, and we both expect one day for either the other woman or the baby (when he is old enough) to get in touch and resume the relationship of father and son. I hope your opinion of me changes, and would like to add that i dont blame the other woman for the affair, but am disgusted with what she is doing now, its just my wish that all women have more respect for themselves. If i wasnt married i wouldnt be in this relationship now. Its only that i have strong beliefs that faith in God that i am still here and able to talk about this now. = |
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