I have been dating a married man for 2 years now and I just found out I was preganant and he told me to have an abortion or he would leave me. I would not have an aborption so he left. I went and told his wife becuase he thought if he left then his parents and his wife would never find out. I am still going to keep my baby but I am just sad and need someone to talk to because everything's just messed up and now his parents hate him and his wife might leave him and I am afraid he will hurt himself. And that is something I could not live with because it would partially be my fault. I still love him but I am afraid that he will never ever see me again or his child. ↓
As you know you can not make choices for anyone else. If this man choose to not be a part of his childs life that is his loss. You on the hand need to care for yourself and unborn child. You've made a very wise choice in keeping your baby. The two of you will have a lifetime of love. God bless!!! ↑
Hey Mama Bear, You were right to go to his parents and his wife. The baby is most important right now, and has the right to know her/his grandparents, step mom, etc. The wife's decision to leave is soley her decision, and frankly, I believe if it were not you who broke the news to her, the next woman would have. His parents ought to be pissed at him - he's a married man afterall! But if he's threatening to hurt himself that's his own psychological issue. There's nothing you or anyone can do. I've seen men use this kind of b.s. as a cry for help. He did wrong, now he wants sympathy. You should pity him, not feel bad for him. He needs more than anyone can offer him right now - and that's his own self confidence. And not to be accusatory - but what are you doing dating a cheating man!?! You deserve better than that! Best of luck to you and congratulations on your gift! ↑
Thank you girls for your support. It means alot. Well I decided the best thing for me to do is move out of my apartments. Oh yeah I didnt say before that we live in the same complex. Eventhough he is moving at the end of the month. I just need to get away from there. When I first told him and he said he was going to leave me if I did not have an abortion he told me what does it matter if you have an abortion, your going to hell anyways for sleeping with a married man and that hurt alot. But I think I am starting to get over this whole situation at least trying that is and hopefully things will be better in the future. I just need to stay strong for the baby and myself. He will only text message me but he will not call me on the phone so I guess that is a good thing. But I got kind of pissed b/c he had a set of keys to my house and he threw them away b/c his wife told him to. So I told him I should throw away his things then. UHH! Everything happens for a reason and I have already asked God for forgiveness b/c at least I can admit that I sinned but I told him if he wants forgiveness he ask to ask for it. He is not as spiritual as I am. I am just wondering now if his parents will be apart of this child's life. I know they are upset right now but hopefully they will come around. As for him I think he is just trying so hard to work things out with his wife. I guess that could be a good thing but I just she is dumb if she decides to stay with him not because I want him back though. They have been married for 3 years and he has been with me for 2 and other women before me. He has been cheating on her with different women since they had been married for only 2 months. Isnt that sad? Would he do the same thing to me? Probaly. She asked me if I think that he liked me. And I told her deep down inside I do believe that he loves me but not as much as he loved her. It's obvious to me who he chose. But I know from now on he will always be apart of my life. ↑
Mama Bear I've been there. I was pregnant by a married man who BEGGED me to KEEP the baby. He sat with tears in his eyes and his hand on my stomach and pleaded with me. I was younger and stupid and I didn't want the only reason he was with me to be a baby. I had an abortion and told him I lost the child...I know, it was horrible. He then found out his wife was pregnant and we went our separate ways. I will NEVER forgive myself for what I did. This was four years ago and I still wish I had had her. Any man who asks you to have an abortion does not love you. Just concentrate on your baby and the rest will work itself out. ↑
Well it has been a week since everyone found out and I think I am at that stage where I could care less what he does with his life. He gets on my nerves and he keeps trying to make me feel guilty about him trying to commit suicide. And I am like if you were trying to commit suicide you would have already done it you are just trying to make people feel sorry for yourself. I did tell him I was moving but not where I was going because I could not get in contact with his parents at first because they just moved and I told my best friend that I think they lived somwhere around her and it turns out we drove around and we found there cars parked in front of there new home. Isn't it weird how these things just seem to work out. So I am moving in with her and it is practically walking distance to his parents so I dont want to let him know quit yet. Mentally I am in a better place but when I start to pack my things I get very sad. When I confronted his wife I didnt tell her everything and I never went over to try and destroy their relationship but I could have said so much that I just held back because I was afraid she would not believe me if I told her too much. But I found out that he ended up telling her everything but since he is back home he probaly made it sound like it was all me. But it does matter to me what his parents think about me, eventhough they probaly think I am a slut but honestly yeah I was wrong but I dont think I am slut for being in love with him. ↑
Dealing with the married man, anything could been possible. First of all he didn't leave the wife during the 2 yrs. that you were together and wasn't planning to. I think that he played you and eventually didn't care for you but just wanted the sex. ↑
Hi Dear
My husband at one time had another woman pregnant. It caused so much pain. But what every lady must realize that dealing with a married man, there is no future. I think you should keep the baby but consider that you caused a life long confusion. It happened with us.Pray to God for forgiveness on your behalf and that the wife will forgive you. ↑
Dear Mama Bear - i just found out i was pregnant by the married man i have been seeing for 2-1/2 years. he begs me to have an abortion, but why should my unborn child suffer for her father. he will probably never talk to me again but thats his choice. the baby is the only thing important right now & hopefully everything will work out inthe long run. i am staying positive for my baby. ↑
I am pregnant by a married man too but I didnt know about it until the day I told him I was pregnant. Im keeping my baby but he is moving on with his wife and other children. I just say take one day at a time and I know everything can be frustrating cause I want him to be there for me during this time but he acts like Im nothing now. I feel so sad sometimes but I make it through somehow. take care and God Bless u ↑
I know that you must be deeply hurt. I have been involved with a married man before. However, You need to take this baby, raise it on your own and love it 100 times more than a child with a mother and father. What kind of a man would insist on a woman having an abortion? Let this question really sink in. Married or not. He should've been the one to tell his family. He chose not to. So you did. You did the right thing. He made his bed, now he must lie in it. If you are concerned that he might hurt himself. Call your local suicide prevention hotline and give them his name and number and address and let them handle the rest. As for you...I know that you're deeply deeply hurt. The best thing for you to do is to keep your head up, raise the baby, and never look back. Someday, the right guy will come into your life and love you for you. Baby and all. Till then...No regrets ..Good luck to you! ↑
It's so good to know I am not the only one that is pregnant by a married man. Well the baby and I are doing great so far. I just dont understand him though. He thinks that he is a sex addict which he probaly is but what we had was more than sex and no one can convince any different. I just dont know how to feel because he still talks to me and he always asks me ?'s about the future like what I am going to do after I have the baby. And I am just thinking in my head why do you keep asking me if u dont care about me? We have had sex since he has told me that he will not stay with me but hey I need some too and I am not about to go anywhere else. :) And it is always mutual thing. So if he loves his wife so much then why does he continue to talk to me and see me. He is going to these anynomous sex classes and I wonder if it working? but I guess not if he is still seeing me. This weekend I moved out and in with a friend & he moved out and in w/his parents so him and his wife could save money and what do u you, his parents are like walking distance from me. Im still confused but not in a sad stage anymore, which is good for both the baby and I. I am taking day by day and hopefully maybe he will realize that I am having his child... ↑
Nini, dont give up! You never know what will happen tomorrow but that doesnt mean sit here and think that he will change and be with you. I really dont know what to say b/c in my situation there are no kids. But if he has children with his wife now do u think thats why he stays with her? ↑
He has been married for 2 years!
He wanted you to get rid of the evidence?
You’re worried that his wife might leave him?
Concentrate on your baby.
He's not worth it. Why did you bother with a married man??????
GOD BLESS YOUR BABY! ↑
It's lot easier for you to come on here and say why did you mess with a married man and just say no! Have you ever been in a situation where you knew something was wrong and you did it anyways? Im sure everyone has and people make mistakes and at least I can admit it was a mistake. I am not the only person who is the wrong in this situation, he is also the one who cant keep his d*** in his pants. So dont come on here and act like like I am the only person wrong! It's obvious that he will continue what he is doing regardless if it is me or someone else. He is not my issue anymore it is my baby. ↑
Good, the baby is the most important part of all this and yes he does seem like he will do it again so why worry if he sees the baby or not who needs a father like that -I had one
You can't call 2 years a mistake! 2 times maybe.? Good luck anyway hope you do well! ↑
hey mama bear. wow god must've led me to this website. I just got off the phone w/ my ex who I have been dating for five years. it was a good relationship. we were "soulmates" (until he decided after three years that he wanted to marry his baby momma..who i did not even know existed until 3 weeks before the wedding i did not know about) we were still messing around because he said he didn't love her and he was only here for his little girl and that he would leave once the little one got older. well i just found out im 2mths pregnant last week. he has a nerve to call and say, this is not right..i'm married. (huh? why werent you talking like this a year ago or 2 mths ago.) he said that his life is over and that he thinks i should get an abortion because this is punishment from god. funny he was never so "spiritual" before he found out. he said that his family told him to leave me alone and he was "hardheaded" and that this situation was "giving him badluck" cause he knew he was sinning (this is all new to me. this is a really hurting revelation because for a while there his so called family was acting "hunky dorry"...they knew about everything we was doing) he said that he is really just trying to be there for his daughter and that he feels like he let his wife and child down. (huh?) needless to say yall, i got played. you would think after watching so many "Lifetime" movies, i would know better. but you know what mama bear? everything happens for a reason. and even out of mess god can bless. i just found out that my father is dying and even though i would have wanted him to see me get married first...god has a way of getting what he wants.(even from the sinners) so be encouraged. and when our babies become rich and famous..i want them "jokers" to remember how much they didn't want the child.
p.s i would really like us to keep in touch throughout the pregnancy..if not i will pray for you.
god bless ↑
I have also been in the same situation with a married man, and we now have a 6 month old son. I have read all the entries and it amazes me that I am not alone. I too love this man and really believes he loves me but as the one lady said, when they are married there is no future. The problem I am having now is that he does not want me to move on, he wants me and his wife b/c he says he loves me to much to let me go. He sees the baby everyday even though "she" thinks he doesn't. Just be strong and pray, b/c only God can get us out of this mess and it is a one day at a time process especially when your feelings are involved. Take Care ↑
Our daughter was conceived in the same situation. We adopted our daughter and it has been a blessing.
Her birthmother was dating a married man with six children when they became pregnant. They met us on the internet via our adoption site and the rest is history. He is still married with kids and our dear birthmother choose life for our daughter. We have a wonderful relationship! Good luck and best wishes!
Nicole
http://www.adoptionprayer.com ↑
I have a 20 month old by a married man that I was seeing for over two years. He never had any intention on my keeping this baby because this is not my first pregnancy by him. I ended up telling his wife and his mother. He no longer comes to see her but I did take him to Child Support which he now pays. He may not want anything to do with you or the child which is his loss, but make him responsible at least financially for the baby sake. ↑
Women who date Married Man?? Cant any of this lady have self worth and just say NO?? That's way Divorce is the way it is...these Men know there are a lot of women willing to play there games, that's what encourage them is women like you. If more of you stood up for yourself and found a loving man that can dedicate themselves to you, you wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. All these stories are ALL the same..."I was involved with a married man, now Im pregnant...boo hoo, I told his wife, he doensn't want me" Duh, your not the marriage material obviously if you are willing to be his other women. I HOPE EVERYONE learns from your post. There is defenitely no future with a married man. ↑
I did not know he was married but by the time I found out I was already caught up. There is no excusing my actions but I have to deal with the consequences which I will and make sure my child is taken care of. ↑
I have a 14 month old by a married man.I tried to tell him secretly that i was going to keep her a secret until he said he didnt want nothing to do with her because he had enough kids.As if the asshole didnt know the risks of cheating.I told everyone also but to make things worse i was 15 and he was 20.His wife says its my fault and we are still waiting on the attorney general to schedule an apointment because now he thinks im lieing about him being her father. ↑
I have nothing to be ashamed of.I have a 15 month old daughter by a married man.I look at it this way.Us women are not the ones to blame for men cheating.They are.They made the choice to go out and find a woman to cheat with.Why should we be ashamed? Im sure that the reason you are saying we should keep our legs closed is because your husbands cheated.I dont recall anyone on here asking for sympathy so get a life and move on.Its not our fault guys dont know what the meaning of vows are. ↑
Apparently women don't know the meaning of vows either. It's a two way street with two way consequences, A woman can say no, men can say no aswell (HA!) We know how men are! ↑
For everyone's information I was conceived out of wedlock. My mother had an affair with a married man, she believed he loved her and would leave his family for her. Of course he didn't. I grew up wondering why my father had another family and why he didn't want me. I was harrassed by my half sibblings, (we lived in the same town) they called me and my mom names whenever we would bump into each other. I don't know why I had to be put through this, I hated my mother at one point. It is nothing to be proud of, I just wished my mother would have had more self respect. ↑
I know I am not the only one to be pregnant by a married man, and I am absolutely not proud of it. But the fact is I am and now I must deal!! I have not told him, and don't really know how I am going to deal with things yet. All I know is that I cannot abort, I have no reason to punish a child for what I have done. Eventually he will find out, and right now he is sensing there is something different about me. When I met him we were both married, and each seeking what we thought was missing. 2.5 years have passed, and I am in the process of divorce, and basically as I had this other relationship established it just worked. I never wanted him for myself, and he has told me himself that if he were to become single I would move on. But here I am , I have two children ages 5 & 8 and now a baby. I did not plan to post, but just felt compelled to once I read a few of the stories on here of others. I guess all I can say is that we all make mistakes, they are what make us who we are. Nobody can judge another as they don't know the circumstances or what they are feeling. But to know there are others like me, and they have compassion in their hearts for the unborn or born from a married man is comforting. ↑
Look just because we are pregnant by married men dont mean we broke any vows.Im not even old enough to be married.Im only 17 and the guy i slept with was 21.At the time i was 15 and he was 19.I cant say im not ashamed of it but the wifes cant put all the blame on us.Aparently they arent doing something right because if they were, their guys wouldnt be with us.I think thats every married womans problem.They listen to these guys when they tell them itll never happen again.It always does. ↑
My concern now is how to deal with my daughter regarding her father. I don't want to lie to her but I don't want to damsge her more than the news is going to. No one has the right to judge anyone we have all made mistakes, bad decision/choices whatever you want to call it. We should have no but we didn't now we are dealing with the consequences but like as what was mention what led your men to us in the first place. It is easier to put the blame on someone besides self. Some men are just greedy and want there cake and eat it too but normally something is lacking and/or there is a problem. ↑
