OK, I am 27 and have practiced safe sex as long as I can remember. To make a long story short, I broke up with my ex (who was abusive and a bit psycho) only to get back together 3-4 months later. We began having sex and he pushed for no proctection which I finally agreed too. I thought I had feelings for him still but last week after yet another argument do him being a deadbeat who thinks he is going to be a rockstar (meaning-no stable job) he took the car wheel and starting jerking it going down highway screaming at me that I was a bitch because I asked him to pay me the $10 bucks he ows me....anywhoooo, I decided that I apsolutely can't take being with him and I deserve WAY much better than this loser.....next day I took pregnancy test and for the first time it came back postive----3 tests all positive....
I don't want him involved and ----I haven't told a soul and am scared to tell him the results as last time I saw him -----I didn't know for sure I was prego....I haven't spoke to him in a week and really have no desire to have him involved.....he is a complete chronic loser---talks a good game but just can't consistenly follow up---part of me is pissed because he will get off scott free but the other part knows he is mean and abusive and I won't have a child around him IF I keep it....
Anywhoo, I am now 5 wks along....
Moral Dilemma-----
What do I do?
Starlet ↓
I would start off by telling him. Then you need to determine if you plan to continue the pregnancy which should be decided by both of you. If you both agreed to have unprotected sex then you must have been prepared to have a baby together, right? btw- he can have a steady day job and still aspire to become a "rockstar" by playing clubs at night, that is not excuse not to work and support himself. I have known quite a few people that have gone that route. Either way, he sounds like a loser that will not be involved in a baby's life anyway, so I wouldn't worry about his negative influence. ↑
Well he doesn't have to be involved in YOUR life, but you better do all possible that he is involved in his child's life. You have been going out with this guy a long time (abusive or not!) then YOU decided to make a baby with him....and you both were successful. Now you both have to sort this out like adults for your child's sake....or decide to terminate. There are 2 things here. Either he is in fact a decent guy with good qualities--hence you have been trying for a baby with him! Or he is not so good, but YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM of still going back to him. Maybe you need some therapy here... Good luck ↑
First and foremost the decision is 100% yours because regardless of what promises or plans this "father" makes you are the one ultimately responsible for the care of the baby. As for the father being part of the babies life that would also be up to you, if this man can not be a positive influence in this childs life he doesn't belong in it and I say that from both sides, I grew up with a father outside the home that I constantly wondered why I would only hear from him 2 times a year. I am currently pregnant by a man who has 2 teenagers whose lives have been made misrable by him he doesn't support them financially or emotionally but they have seen him just enough to know he is their dad and why doesn't he care about them. It is unfortunate when we allow ourselves to fall for the wrong men but it is our duty to protect are children from them. It may not sound nice but it's true becasue in the end it is all on you. ↑
