My hubby has plenty of time to help around the house and give me a hand, but he chooses to watch tv or do his hobbies every free minute of the day. I've not been a moody, difficult pregnant woman either. My pregnancy has been great and I'm normally in a good mood. I, also, do A LOT around the house. I do the dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, all the fixer uppers jobs around the house, and so much more. The fact is that too many men are lazy, inconsiderate, and feel that it is the wifes duty to take care of all the household chores and responsibilities. If my husband worked 12 hour shifts five days a week at a difficult job, I wouldn't expect him to do all kinds of stuff around the house. But he has an easy, fun job that he goes to four days a week. He has NO excuse for his laziness! ↑
omg is this thread for real, is there really men out there like this.. geez why do people stay with them, i could not be arsed, you dont have to have a baby sitter when your having sex do you?? he needs kicking into touch like now... stop doing things for him for a start he seems to think that because your a woman you should do it all ( which is bum nuts ) my uncle is exactly the same and he hates it now as the children are 17 and 18 now nd he knows they wont do anything for him anymore and he hates it... dont do a thing for him, not the tea, his washing, hes clothes out..NOTHING.. give him a taste of his own medicine ↑
To the person whose post is dated December 4th. I've been married for 10 years (I'm 36 he's 37) not 2 months sweetheart. My husband loves to cook and has always had dinner waiting for me when I get home, I usually walk through the door around 7-7:30. My husband understands that I work just as hard as he does, he loves to cook and I love to clean, we both don't like doing laundry so 1 week I do it the next he does it and sometimes we do it together. But again we both let each other know how much we appreciate what the other does. It's called respect. Ok about those video games. I'm not to sure the age of the boys you hang out with or that you're talking about but playing video games in moderation say after your teenage years is ridiculous, just my opinion. As far as your comment about "You think they need to wait for you to say, talk to him. I am sure they have done so." I'm sure they have done so as well, but many women and I'm assuming you're one of them just from the tone of your post, that instead of being polite, you're probably being somewhat demanding and disrespectful. Or was the tone of your post that of jealousy? I have a hard time believing that if you're asking your husband in a polite manner, to do something for you, that he doesn’t do it. How much time do you give him to do what you asked? In what tone are you asking? Are you demanding that he helps around the house and with the kids? I understand that some men believe that it's womens work to do the laundry, the cleaning and the raising of the kids, and for some men they will never change, but I also believe that for the other's it could be the women's way of communicating what they want and what they need. Also, I thought I would correct your mis-spelling, it's "A LOT" not "ALOT" there is no such word as "ALOT" Thanks sweetie for your reply and anything else I can clarify for you let me know. ↑
If you want him to help out, stop doing everything for him. You put his clothes out for him? I wouldn't do it myself either if someone did everything for me. ↑
2 Melissa the 1st post: I wouldn't put his clothes out for him thats for sure...whats he going to do not match? Who cares if he doesn't! I might even "accidentally" not make enough servings of dinner for him...give him a taste of his own medicine... ↑
i told my boyfriend that i would take care of him and the baby so i expect my guy to not do anything lol.. he sits and plays warcraft all the time but he also has 2 jobs to take care of us soooo... i cant complain... and i dont work now so i told him no worries.. ill take care of him, the baby, the bills, and cleaning hehe ↑
THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE. THEY'RE ALL THE SAME. AND IN A FEW YEARS, HE'LL CHEAT ON YOU. MEN DON'T DESERVE WIVES. WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM ↑
Maybe YOU are, realistic.. I happen to be perfectly happy with mine.. Who does not cheat - not all are crappy, you ought to look into more of what YOU are picking.. ↑
To all of you women who have the faults hope that things will get better, that you can change him, that he will grow up. Please! They don't! Men are what they are. They are lazy, selfish creatures by nature. If you don't think your man is cheating on you it is only because you haven't caught him yet because let me tell you it will happen it is in his nature to do so. And your children are learning to be just like them. They are learning that it is ok to treat a women this way, it is ok not to do anything to help your with and when they grow up they will repeat the same pattern of behavior that they have been taught. I know because I was that child and I am now deprograming my children because of falling into the same pattern. We can all do much better on our own or just by getting a sperm donor if we want to procreate. ↑
Kris, I think you have some deeper issues. My father cheated on my mother, he then cheated on my step-mother. My fiance would not cheat on me, nor would I cheat on him. Not all men are the same, some just give in too easily to the desires. My fiance has no problem telling me that someone is hot, but I knwo that it is me that he is interested or I wouldnt be engaged or on my 2nd child with him. ↑
I am not a man hater first off. I am sure that there are men out there that are perfectly nice. However I do not believe that any man is capable of carring on a mangamus relationship. Even George Burns cheated on his wife and he is one of the sweetest most beloved comedians of all time. Just because a man is nice and respectable does not mean that he is faithful. You see all men cheat. They just do. I am sorry to tell you that but I have seen it and talked to many men about it. Those of you out there that trully believe that your husband or spouse if faithful. Booyaa!
It is only because you have not caught them yet. Remember ladies what you don't know won't hurt them. ↑
I'm sorry, but that sounds like a man hater to me. Not all men cheat. My fiance has been cheated on in the past, not by me, but he knows how it feels to be betrayed, so he won't do it. Believe it or not there are some respectable men out there. You must not be finding the right one. I have only been with say, maybe a handful of men, none of them have ever cheated on me, nor have I cheated on them. ↑
ChaycesMom, I don't mean to upset you. You may be right . I am a bum magnet and have always been. But I have also seen me father and my brothers and my friends husbands cheat. My soon to be ex-husband cheated. I trully believed in him. I never thought that he would do that to me. But you see men are sneaky. Also they cover for each other. Right now I really should not be giving anyone advice because my heart is in so many pieces.I appoligize for upseting anyone. We were together for 12 years and married for 10.
Had one of my friends not seen him I would have never known because of when and were he was doing this. I just don't want anyone else to ever feel the way I do. ↑
Divorce his lazy ass and put him out. That is a damn shame. Why be married to him if that's the case? If he won't even pay any attention to his own kids , then he doesn't care about his kids and he doen't deserve to be their father. You'd be much better off being a single mother. ↑
Wow, I am quite shocked reading these messages here. I am sorry for those who have bad experiences with men, but we are not all lazy game playing cheaters.
Do these men also act like this in your dating/living together period? If so, dump them for a better specimen. Refine your screening methods and get a better guy. ↑
Ed: No they do not act like this during the dating period. If they did we would have never made it to the marrige. You see that is how it works. We meet a guy and he is all sweet and opens the door for us and pulls out our chair and lights our cigarette and so on. This goes on for about the first oh three or four months. Then they get settled and they begin to show their true selfs but by then it is too late for us girls because we are already in love and for us there is no turning back. We think that things will go back to the way that they were or that he is having an off day,week,month. But you see it just gets worse from there. Then for some dumb ass reason we as woman think that if we have a baby that we can save a relationship. And that it will make the man be more grown up but it doesn't. It is quite the conundrum. ↑
Every guy acts differently during the dating period. It's where guys do their utter best to either win you over or just sucker you into bed. I'm not saying you should never believe a guy that you're dating, but you need to get your most important information verified if you want to be sure you got a proper guy. Get info from his family and friends.
Do people in the US shack up before they get married or do they date, get married and then shack up? My wife and me lived together for 5 years before we even thought of getting married. Only when we were both 100% satisfied about our relationship, did we get married and now recently had a baby.
There is always the possibility of turning back and breaking off a relationship, it might be tough, but it's not impossible and you'll do yourself a huge favor by doing so. People can only change when they admit to having a problem, waiting for him to change never solved anything. For those yelling at their guy to get him to help, that won't work either, he'll just be more likely to shut himself out.
If you could, would you define mens laziness as a cultural or as a religious problem and how big is this issue really? Are there really no good men where you live?
(sorry if my English is a bit off, I'm from Holland) ↑
When my dh is at home he doesn't help much around the house either. He was kinda messy while we were dating so I shoulda known...but I didn't think about it. I love that joke about the lady in the tub. That would totally happen! I get so mad when dh doesn't think I do anything unless I make money. Who is raising our son? Who is pregnant? Who cleans the house every day, provides activities for our son, cooks the meals, keeps the fort down while he's slaving at work? ME!! Why can't he just accept that!! And yes dh loves video games while he's at home. And I had no idea while we were dating so those self righteous ladies who think they have it all might not know some crap about their husbands too. ↑
Honestly, all of these video-game playing and lazy men sound pathetic. My fiance (I'm a guy) would have my head if I left things around the house. I work full time and constantly make sure I do more than my fair share...dishes, laundry, etc. As for video games, forget it. I say just don't do anything, let him do it. ↑
you say 'he doesnt do this' 'he doesnt even do that' but the main thing you missed out is the fact that YOU ALLOWED HIM TO DO SOD ALL IN THE FIRST PLACE!! its like with anything, kids or dogs, if you dont lay the law down first off then anything they get away with us all down to yourself!!
you are the doormat who lets him do nothing and he will stay like that now, its the way you have allowed him to be. you have let him think its totally acceptable!!! you cant call him lazy when you blatantly allowed him to be so for all these years!! ↑
When my now hubby and I started living together i told him, " I am not the maid, and I am not your mother, If you are looking for someone to do everything while you sit on your ass you need to move back to your parents house." He got this shocked look on his face and assured me that it wouldn't be like that, and it hasn't been. He has a high profile career and is often gone 14+ hours five days a week, but still manages to do his share, and spend quality time with our daughter. I guess I really chose a good one. Good luck to you all, your gonna need it! ↑
I guess I dont really have much to complain about after reading about some of your poor harrassed womens hubby / boyfriends! My hubby works 8 + hours a day, 6 days a week and helps around the house. We both work so we both do turns of cooking and dishes etc - its not unusual for me to come home and he has vaccumed, done dishes and washing - he is a gem - I guess we struck this deal up when we first got together. We do agree when I have our bub and stay at home for the first year I will take on a bit more of the house work - but only once I am getting enough sleep and functioning haha. He is even taking a month of work when the baby first gets here to help me out. Basically I think we both know what we expect from each other so it makes it a bit easier. Dont get me wrong hes by no means perfect and neither am I but the way we work together makes for happy homes. I hope some of your men get their finger out and help you ladies...... some of them have no idea how much you do!!! Good luck! :) ↑
bellybubble it just makes you think how lucky you are when you have a man who understands and helps out. its down to what you accept at the end of the day and its just unfortunate that some of these ladies accept laziness. these lazy men get comfortable with what they can get away with and rarely change. its a shame all men aren't modern men!! ↑
ok ladies,
i have been married for 27 years, my marriage to my husband has been very hard. yes he has worked and from time to time he will help out. i have tried to talk, yell, threaten, and yes even take away his prive. and this is what really pees me off. I AM NOT HIS MOMMY i should'nt have to have a talk with him ect ect.
now what do we do about it?get a divorce is not what God would want me to do and so the only thing to do is to trust God that he will use all things to work for the good. it the mean time thank God for sites like this because i thought i was the one that had something wrong with them. I do agree we should honor and respect our husbands but somedays i think i will go crazy, its called a button that shouldn't be pushed. i think i am a fair person. well good luck everyone and don't forget to rely on God not man alon ↑
