Kristin,
I'm so sorry about your loss. I have no idea how it would feel to miscarry but it must be very difficult.
I too disagree with those that believe 6 months of bf is sufficient. If we didn't have formula what do you think we would use??
From a biological/evolutionary standpoint bf is the best thing for our lo. If it wasn't, we would have evolved differently and not needed mammary glands.
A dh that is thinking about his child first puts aside his possible embarrassment or uncomfortableness for the sake of the lo's well being. He should be grateful that you are wanting and willing to give her the best nurishment possible both mentally and physically.
PS...he should really help out more. He truly needs to be present for you and your lo. ↑
krc as you will be very aware times have moved on. yes in the past they breastfed where there were no other options available. we also at one time didnt wear any clothes and didnt have hospitals to give birth in. evolution is sometimes a great great thing! i am sorry that you felt you had to label me as one of 'those people' who make breastfeeding mothers feel uncomfortable, when in fact i do myself breastfeed!?! i stated my opinion after speaking with midwives and breastfeeding mothers about it. i did not label you so would prefer it if you didn't feel the need to be rude about differing opinions. i have spoke to breastfeeding mothers who have a whole host of reasons why they are still breastfeeding after 6 months of age and believe it or not the nutrition aspect was not mentioned. one woman did it to keep her husband away from her, she was not interested in regaining an active sexual relationship with him, another woman (oddly) found it sexual, but overwhelmingly they found it comforting, they felt they could'nt bond the same with their baby if they were to breastfeed, which was the point i made in my original post. indeed kristen herself referred to herself as a 'human dummy'. i do not think any mother would see 6 months as a green light to give their child unhealthy food, i'm sure you will agree that no mother in her right mind would choose to do that!! i also know of several healthy adults and babies who have been bottlefed or breastfed for the first few weeks and then bottlefed. children do get poorly often during the first few years of their life, mainly from being in contact with other children who have picked up things, thats just a fact of life. a woman at my mums & babies group had a daughter who caught a severe cold at the age of 8 weeks, a fully breastfed baby! i must admit i do feel sorry for your husbands as there seems to be no room for compromise in your relationships. i personally think its important to keep a healthy sexual and loving relationship going even when children arrive. you may take that the wrong way but thats just my view on it. if i were you i would be really wanting to see exactly how my husband feels about breastfeeding for a long period of time as it took two to make the baby, it just seems a shame they are allowed no input whatsoever. sorry for your recent loss kristen. ↑
your child will probably have better success sleeping through the night if she is not put to sleep by being fed. she has not learned to self soothe, as a result when she wakes up the only way you can get her back to sleep is to feed her again. I have found success by feeding the child before bed but then playing with them, then putting them to bed fully awake. They then learn to put themselves to sleep. As far as breast feeding, studies show that there is no medical benefit to a child beyond 1 year. With that said when do you plan to stop? The older she is the harder it will be for her to be weaned. Ultimately these are your decisions but they create more isssues as the child gets older. Good luck with your decisions. ↑
On the news last night. It said~ the longer you breast feed your baby the more intelligent the child will become. Also women who eat alot of fish during pregnancy and beyond while breast milk will also increase the intelligence of their child. This is a well know fact but it is nice to be reminded of this healthy choice. Also ~~THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION RECOMMENDS WOMEN BREASTFEED THEIR CHILDREN UNTIL AGE 2 BECAUSE THE CHILDS IMMUNE SYSTEM DOES NOT FULLY DEVELOP UNTIL AGE 2. With these such benefits as well as producing well adjusted children with great health benefits breast feeding is a great choice. It is cost effective, healthy, and creates smarter healthier children. I will never regret my choice..But I know women who regret not doing enough breastfeeding. It is a real commitment that should be commended not frowned upon...because it makes you uncomfortable or you think you have some evidence that would suggest otherwise the health benefits..Anyway~ THat is why it is a choice. I know I made a healthy choice.... and my child will only benefit from this choice. And BTW my daughter can go to sleep without the boob. ↑
kristin after reading your comments about breastfeeding i find it hard to understand why you started this post in the first place? was it because you are honestly concerned about how your husband finds it or was it in the hope of getting some women telling you what you want to hear and believe? each to their own. i have nothing against women who want to breastfeed their children as i know its a tough commitment to keep, the only time i question it is when husbands feelings are totally disregarded and the child is old enough to start asking for the 'boob'. i just don't understand why you started the thread mentioning your husband and then going on to reply that you actually don't care what he thinks?!! ↑
Yes, cat, you are probably right! She probably DID want to hear from other people that she is right! And do you know why? Because it's so darn hard to get support for child-led weaning and natural breastfeeding in our screwed up society!
I'm so glad that Kristin is putting her child's health, and her own, first. She obviously has her priorities straight! ↑
You had the marriage before your child. Yes, the health and well-being of your daughter is important, but your complete disregard and disrespect for your husband's feelings is going to cause severe problems and bitterness and will leave him open to temptation to look elsewhere. Women respect their men when they feel loved, men love their wives when they feel respected. It's a crazy cycle and each is a choice you have to make, but respect is HUGE to guys. I would be willing to bet any $ in the world that your dh is feeling pretty bad about things right now if you're still continuing in your "my body my choice" attitude. For the sake of your marriage...is it really worth it? I'm not going to keep jumping on here and arguing back and forth with you, but think about how this must make your man feel...how selfish and sad. ↑
OMG..firstly thank you lifescholar for your support that means a great deal to me.
SEcondly, Thank you Cat and Keirsten for your concerns with my dh and my relationship. But there are not problems of the nature you have described. Just becasue my dh thinks my lo is too old to bf..does not mean he is going to cheat on me. Nor does it mean we have marital issues...far from it. It makes me sad after everything I have sacrificed for my lo and for my current loss that I am going though that I still have to justify myself. Yes, I did come here to get a little support..and No I did not think I would have to deal with insults to my relationship or the idea of threatened marriage. Kiersten I have never mentioned that I have lack of respect for my husband or anything close to disregard..those are your words..but don't peg my relationnship as such. Warning me of my dh threatening to cheat because of breastfeeding is not something I am worried about either..but thanks for your crappy input. If you knew me (and you don't) I am the am completely selfless when it comes to my family and husband. INow..please if you don't have anything decent to say..please don't bother..as you guys have made me feel even more bad about breastfeeding beyond 18 months. That was not my intent when I came here for support from women and others who breastfeed their lo's to the recommended age. ↑
I'm sorry Kristin, I did come off strong. I didn't mean to say that he'd have an affair. When I wrote that it'd leave him open to temptation I was referring to things like pornography...an affair never really crossed my thoughts when I wrote that. I didn't mean to make you feel your marriage is threatened. I too apparently read into your posts and felt you were not considering his feelings in this, but if you feel he's not being disrespected or disregarded then I misjudged and again, am sorry. I tend to get on a soap box about marriages because I know how easy it is to be momma first and not pay as much attention to the marriage. I fell into that with our son and our marriage had some painful moments when my husband felt ignored and disrespected. I didn't want you to have similar issues and was trying to caution you how your actions might come across to him...that's wonderful that you don't have marital issues! I feel bad for how my post sounded and didn't really read through it after I posted until I came on again and saw the responses. I had good intentions but a bad form of delivery. I hope things continue to go well for you and that you guys have an awesome marriage and enjoy your little girl every moment. Time seems to fly with them...I'm also so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine...I hope your family is blessed with another little one soon...GL ↑
