My third child was stillborn on May 12, 2008. We were two weeks from the due date. It has been really tough. I am looking for some info.
Does anyone know of any research that is being done currently on stillbirths? I am asking because it just puzzles me that, as far as I know there are no "people" to go to and get answers.
This may sound crazy, but I have the autopsy results from my baby and they say that they did not determine the cause. That there was a partial placenta abruption, but they couldn't determine why. Well that is simple, but why can't they take all my records, tests, autopsy and all and put them together and maybe see what happened?? My husband thinks I am a little silly about this, but it just doesn't make sense to me. It's like a machine, if it were in a plant and it kept shutting down. You don't just "make" another and forget that one. You try to figure out what is wrong and try to fix it for the future. Right?
I know that this would not bring my baby back. I trust God to help me as He always has. I just feel like these precious babies are dying and everyone is turning their heads, shrugging their shoulders and saying "sometimes we never know why."
But WHY?? Does anyone know where to start? Can I get the medical records and get some answers somewhere??
And if any of you think I am just wanting something that is not needed, don't be afraid to tell me. I need everyone's help.
Thanks,
_________________
Lisa Hendricks
Dawson 8/31/99
Brianna 01/17/06
Angel Baby Tate 5/12/08-5/12/08
No Matter the question---GOD is the answer. Amen.
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Wow Lisa - I totally understand your frustration. I have only had early m/c, all before 10 weeks and am so annoyed with wanting to know WHY and not getting anywhere. I can't imagine being 38 weeks and not getting answers. I went to a spec early this week and he told me I had to have ANOTHER m/c before they would even start testing me or the fetus for any answers. My regular doctor did not agree, thankfully, and I had my D&C to hopefully see what went wrong this time and she is going to do all the testing on me to see if we can figure out why this keeps happening. I know there are docs out there that are more proactive with doing testing so I would keep looking for a doc that you are comfortable with. Don't let anyone, even your hubby, tell you that you are being crazy for wanting to know WHY. It sucks that there might have been something that could have prevented it but not knowing what. I just can't get preggo again thinking I am only doing it to have another m/c so that someone will finally try to tell us why. I did find a great site that you ask questions in a forum and are actually answered by doctors. It was the answers I got from my question I asked in that forum that made me want the D&C and knew what to ask for with tests. Google Huntington Reproductive Center Message Board and ask there. They were very prompt in answering my questions and it made me feel much better to hear from a "doctor" that I wasn't crazy for NEEDING to know WHY before I try again. There are things like that MTHFR where it causes many early and late M/C and if you take the shot and certain suppliments they suggest, it could make for a healthy baby. You just need to have a full work up of tests to figure out if and what is going on to know what to do for a hopefully positive outcome next time around. Hope this helps and your loss is devistating. ↑
Thanks Kendalyn. I will go to that site and see what I can find out. I am so sorry about what you are experiencing. That has always sounded so dumb to me that you have to have a certain amount of m/c before they try to find out. WHo are they to say that you can go through that so many times befoer they can find out something. If it were their wife they were not put them through that. I will be praying for you and hopefully the next time you won't need them to do any testing cause you will be bringing home a healthy baby to love forever!! I don't have any health insurance, so I can't get anymore testing done. I was on medicaid. I lost my job of 9 years because I was in the hospital 10-1/2 weeks with our second child. I dialated to 7cm at 24 weeks and couldn't leave. But she was born at 35-1/2 wks and she was perfect and healthy. She weighed 6lbs 3oz. My baby Tate was bigger than her. Again thanks for the help, I would like to know how you are doing, so let me know when you can, k?
Lisa ↑
No insurance? That is hard. What kind of job gets rid of you for getting put into the hospital? I am probably going to wait a couple of months before we start trying again to make sure I know if I have anything going wrong and if I need to take/do anything additional to have a successful pg. Good luck to you. ↑
Yeah the insurance thing has been hard. But we will manage somehow. My doctor done many tests before he did my C-section. They drew 21 tubes of blood from me and all of them came back normal. I just have the feeling that something has not been told to me, like they are hiding something from me. Maybe it is just my emotions. But something just doesn't feel right. I want to get a copy of ALL my records from him so I can look at them. I am afraid it will cause problems, like he may think I am trying to "get" him. I just want to see it all for myself. The whole pregnancy, and the tests. Guess that sounds like I am trying to see something that isn't there. I don't know, I just want them Do you know if they will give me a copy, of EVERYTHING? ↑
Lisa, I am SO SORRY for your loss! I know exactly what you're going through and I completely understand how frustrating it is not to know what went wrong. I also lost my baby boy back in February. He was 30 wks. I had an autopsy done on him and a lot of blood tests on me, but they still couldn't give me any answers. I didn't have any bleeding but went to the hospital when I realized my baby wasn't moving. Recently I found out I'm pregnant again. It was a wonderful accident. I'm 8 wks now. I'm pretty sure they have to give you a copy of all yours records if you ask them for it, but there might be a charge. Good luck to you and let me know if you find anything new. ↑
Toughcookie--I am sorry to hear about your little baby boy too. I am also very happy for you on your new pregnancy. If you don't mind me asking, what are they doing different this time? With my second child I had incompetent cervix, dialated to 7cm at 24 weeks, in hospital for 10-1/2wk, Brianna was born at 35-1/2wks, perfect. So with My third, Tate, I had a cerclage at 15wks. Then stillborn. So what can they do next time? If they don't know why it happened? Just wondering. We don't know for sure if we will try again. Thanks for replying.--Lisa ↑
Hi Lisa - there's not much they can do differently because they don't know what caused it. They will be monitoring me closely and I will be seeing a specialist as well as my ob. My ob asked me to start taking baby aspirin as soon as I found out I was pg. As we get closer to my due date, they said they might run some tests on the baby to see if the lungs are well developed. If everything looks good, they would induce me early, maybe at 36 wks. I pray that everything will end well this time around. It's hard to think about trying again when you just went through this horrible experience. You just need time to heal! Take care. ↑
