please help with advice, having problems breastfeeding
Name: evae777 | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 2:38 AM
my baby is 8 days old and i have not been able to breastfeed him properly. went to see a lactation consultant and my nipples were torn up from feeding him wrong so now i am pumping until things heal up & then teach him how to latch on again. problem is... my breasts are huge and really engorged. i can't get any relief, they are achy to where i think i am getting headaches from it. i can't even sleep at night and i pump every two hours and they are still engorged. on top of that, everytime i pump the supply has lessened. will this go away? i am miserable and feel like a cow lately. i'm afraid i wont be able to get rid of this discomfort my nipples need to be soft enough to feed. my dh is getting on my nerves too. he is so worried the baby is not getting enough breastmilk & i argued with him that the whole point of me pumping is to get my breasts to a normal state to feed... not to stock up on milk! the doc said for the time being just give the baby formula to get by and pumped milk if possible, but i need to get rid of this engorgement before i can move on with feeding. along with that i am trying to recover from the tear i had from giving birth so i am getting depressed over my physical well being. any advice on what to do and will this pass?? i dont feel like a normal human being right now and not enjoying motherhood as much as i would like. thanks for any suggestions. ↓
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Name: Krissy25 | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 4:32 PM
While i never stopped breastfeeding i remember the 1st few weeks being hell on my nipples and my breasts would leak all over the place and soak my sheets at night and i was using a pad to try and stop that. I'm sure your consultant gave you some but Pur Lanolian (sp?) is very helpful. My dd sort of got a little nuts when it was time to latch and she would do it wrong so it would take like 2-3 tries to get it right. I swear though he will get it right and eventually the raw nipples will go away and also your milk production is a little haywire b/c you aren't on a routine yet but once you are that horrible engorgement will go away, there will be times your breast are full but not like they are now. I had a c-section so i really didn't feel like myself for a while but i promise you with time you will and you will enjoy motherhood more. Just take it easy and remind your dh that your son is getting nutrition so he is fine and once you heal he can get back on the boob. ↑
Name: Kiersten | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 5:04 PM
Hi Evae! Congratulations on your son! I had nursing issues with my ds too. I use a nipple shield because I'm too flat to have him latch properly (that and he's too lazy to try! lol) and that works for me. Have you tried like a warm wash cloth on your breast before you start nursing? Or try leaning into a bowl of warm water. It'll encourage your letdown reflex so he won't have to suck so vigorously to get it at first. I found it very soothing to use the warm cloth and then switch to a cool one when he's done. You can also try expressing some bm and rubbing it (gently!) on your nipples and letting them air dry. It's very important to keep your nipples dry and to switch nursing pads when wet. Ummm, like Krissy said about the Lanolin, I've heard it's soothing. I personally didn't get bad enough to want to use it (very thick-reminds you of beeswax) but I've got friends who swear by it. That's good that you're seeing a lactation specialist; they can be a big help. I would differ from the advice though in supplementing any formula. That'll just mess with your supply more and as painful as it is, nursing him is the only way to toughen up your nipples. I PROMISE that they will toughen up and nursing becomes very rewarding and special. Motherhood is wonderful, but a whole new world of worries, concerns and frustrations are opened. This will pass. Keep your head up- you're doing great Momma! Once he gets this thing figured out you'll feel like a whole new woman. On the dh note...daddies go through their own hormonal adjustment (funny as that sounds) and it's normal to have times of feeling like you have two babies. :-) Just be really careful to keep those lines of communication open with him. Keep your marriage before the baby and don't let that relationship get left in the dust. It sucks to have all the tension that can be there, but let him help you. Tell him what encourages you and what doesn't. Tell him what he can do to help you with your son and keep him involved. My hubby felt isolated at times so I have had to really work on not taking over everything with my babe. It's hard because the mommy in us wants to fix every whine and whimper, but daddy needs that bond too. The first few weeks are hard, but hang in there! Good luck girl and keep us posted! Congrats on that baby! ↑
Name: kristi-77 | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 10:45 PM
Hi Evae, I had to switch to formula last night. Our little guy was eating none stop for six hours with breast milk. I too have to pump every 3 hours and seem like I'm getting less & less each time. I don't know what to tell since I'm knew at this also. I also have a stomach bug so I'm not eating much. Try ibrophen for the pain, my doctor said that was okay for the baby. Also, I was told to put warm compress on the breast to help the engorgement. I hope you get some relief soon. Oh I was wondering where you posted your birth story. Talk to you later Kristi ↑
Name: evae777 | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 1:32 AM
kristi! so nice to see you join this forum. how are things going? do you still have the baby blues? you live in colorado right? is it cold over there? i posted my birth story under the 3rd tri board titled "i finally had my baby!" i hope you are doing well. this pregnancy forum is one of my outlets to the outside world! i almost got out today with my hubby but then the baby puked and pooped all over himself so we didn't make it:( i have been in the house for a long time now considering my last month of pregnancy was so painful i could barely move around. how are you recovering from the birth? today is the first day i feel half normal. the bleeding has gone down and my feet are not looking like oven mitts as much. well, i hope you are doing well and not feeling lonely... it stinks when the husband has to go back to work. having a first child is such a big change. ↑
Name: evae777 | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 1:33 AM
and thanks alot Krissy25 and Kiersten for the tips, I feel a ton better & just going to be patient until I can learn how to feed him properly. ↑
Name: Malica | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 10:26 AM
I hate hearing anyone trying to discourage you from using formula at the recommendation of your lactation consultant. You're number one responsibility is to make sure the baby is fed. That is far more important than what they are fed, yet with all the pressures to breastfeed today there are far too many moms who either hold out on giving a hungry baby formula or feel guilty if you have to give them formula. I know I hesitated to give my dd formula when we were having some problems bf'ing. She was nearly admitted to the hospital for dehydration (she was just starting to get dehydrated at that point, thank goodness for our 2-day checkup!). When I was in the hospital before birth I overheard another new mother refusing to give her baby formula because she wanted to exclusively breastfed. The baby was starving! The nurses had to threaten to take the baby away to get the mother to feed her formula. Surely this whole "breast is best" message has gone overboard if mothers feel so pressured to exclusively breastfeed that they forget the simple fact that all babies need to eat. Sorry for the rant, but it sounds like you may have been caught up in this whole "breast is best" wave too. Of course, do your best, but sometimes it can be rough, or sometimes it just won't work out. Pat yourself on the back for all of your efforts, but please don't even for a second beat yourself up. ↑
Name: evae777 | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 12:08 PM
i agree with you, i got in an argument with my husband the night i tried to wake my baby up and he was so lethargic he couldn't wake up. i was really scared and i yelled at my husband for being so righteous about breastfeeding that he is starving our baby. the baby was probably dehydrated. and ever since he hasn't been hesitating to give the baby formula. we are still pumping breastmilk until my nipples heal so we can try breastfeeding again, but in the meantime he is getting both. ↑
Name: Kiersten | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 9:29 PM
Wow...Evae I didn't mean to come across like you and Malica took it. I was trying to encourage you and offer some help...guess it came out wrong. I'm sorry. I was just afraid that too much supplementing would interfere with your supply. I was trying to offer ways to ease your discomfort. I'm all for breastfeeding, and it was my first choice, but if there ever becomes a need for formula...I'll do it in a second! I would NEVER EVER starve my baby by refusing anything but breast. I wasn't trying to drown you in the "breast is best wave". Just offering my experience and opinion. Sorry if what I said offended you two. Have a good night and good luck with your lo in whatever you do! ↑
Name: Malica | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 11:00 PM
Sorry, Kiersten -- I know you didn't mean any harm by your advice and I'm I'm a bit over-sensitive and defencive about the messages that are sent out about breastfeeding (or rather how out of proportion they have become). evae777, keep track of the number of wet diapers you have every day and make sure his soft spot on his head doesn't sink in. (Both signs of dehydration). Hang in there -- it will get better I promise. ↑
Name: evae777 | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 11:52 PM
oh no! Kiersten it was not taken wrong. I thought your advice was very constructive. I didn't see it as one bit offensive. i apologize for the miscommunication it has caused. I appreciate this forum, all the suggestions and advice it has to offer. ↑
Name: Kiersten | Date: Jan 30th, 2008 8:12 AM
Ok, sorry for the miscommunication! :-) I don't usually take things so personally, but my good friend just died yesterday so I'm taking things differently..sorry. Is your engorgement any better today? I don't miss those days! Just keep working with him. You're doing great! Malica, I can understand where you're coming from. I know women like that too and it breaks my heart for their baby's sake. I've also known women who will NOT feed their baby on anything less than a 4 hour schedule. Meanwhile their newborn is screaming and I just want to take them and feed them myself! I don't understand people like that...but no, I'm not a breast ONLY yuppie. lol A growing baby is the most important outcome. Sorry again ladies. Congrats on your babes. Enjoy them because holy cow, they grow FAST!! ↑
Name: reblurich | Date: Jan 30th, 2008 2:33 PM
evae, I had the engorgement problem as well with my first. I would get into the shower and then get a towel soak it in hot water and wrap around my boobs. After my shower I would get out and immediately pump. I have also used a heating pad to help when I couldn't get into the shower. Good luck and hope everything works out for you. ↑
Name: redmondsky | Date: Feb 2nd, 2008 11:03 PM
When you are pumping - trying gently massaging the breast as the pump works...really gently - you can often feel the ducts that are clogged up when you do this - I find that this helps with engorgement as it makes the pumping more efficient and gets that milk out...I start at the top of my breast and sort of work my way towards the nipple - pressing really really lightly - I work around the entire breast when I do this...seems to help! ↑
Name: SuperMom | Date: Mar 17th, 2008 10:57 PM
Happened to me. Took 10 days for milk to come in with my first. Do formula and feed when you can. Use cool damp tea bags in your bra with a nursing pad after feeding. This was the only thing that worked for me. ↑
Name: cors1wfe | Date: Mar 17th, 2008 11:38 PM
Evae - I know you don't might not want to hear this but don't stop nursing - I had horribly cracked nipples for the first 2 weeks with my son because he latched on wrong - I just used the Lasinoh pure lanolin ointment - it causes zero harm to your nursing little one and their lips on your nipples stimulate the breast to make more milk - a little better than pumping alone - if it's too much let him nurse just a little then have a bottle ready and then pump after he gets you to let down - I am sure that will help your supply - are you pumping until your breasts are empty? There is nothing wrong with supplementing with formula either if you aren't producing right now - empty both breasts when you pump and supplement - if you really want this don't give up it will be so worth it. ↑
Name: evae777 | Date: Mar 18th, 2008 6:51 PM
he is such a lazy eater that I have to nurse him and then still pump afterwards to empty my breasts. it has become really inconvenient and messy! one breast only produces 2 ounces and the other from 3 to 4 to 5 ounces when i pump! is this normal? i am pumping 30 ounces a day which i read is a very decent milk supply. so i am thinking i may just pump alone, no more nursing or formula. Any thoughts on that? ↑
