hey guys...so this weekend i find out if i AM prego or not.....im REALLY nervous...me and the father broke up...REALLY long stoy....its over a bunch of stupid things...he broke up with me and then wanted to take me back...but i just dont want him, not after all that mess. so now, my first love...an ex ex bf wants me back...and he KNOWS theirs a chance i might be prego...so thats good i guess......but im still stressing about all of it. i refuse to just settle for a guy, i want to be IN love with who i want to spend the rest of my life with. not just LOVE them. ive learned if your not IN love with them, your not as happy as you COULD be............and then what if i AM. then the father WANTS to be with me for sake of the child, but im not happy with him any more....and then he says if im not with him then he wants to take the baby from me!!! and ill be DAMNED if he does that!! he doesnt even have his own CAR!!!!!!! but what ever......its just a bunch of stupid mess.....HE left me for an arguement I started....(supposidly) and yet...its all MY fault......ugh...i just feel crummy about the whole thing. i live with no regrets...but i think he was my biggest mistake. if that makes sense. i feel really stupid for being with him and deciding to have his child. i mean, i really thought i loved him. but idk what it was....maybe i was just too much in the moment.............can some one give some encouraging words?? ↓
Why did you sleep with someone when you don't know if you love them or not?Better yet,why are you having sex in the first place?You say you decided to have his child?Why would you want to get pregnant when you're not married.I didn't even have sex until I got married,let alone get pregnant,my parents would have been so disapointed and hurt,I wouldn't have been able to do it.If you are pregnant,please don't get an abortion,2 wrongs never make a right,adoption is a good solution.BTW,how old are you?You sound kind of young to be talking about grownup issues like love.If you are and you decide to keep the baby,you need to think about what is best for it,and that means 2 parents. ↑
Ok...well it sounds like there is some confusion, but when is there NOT confusion in the world?? Age has nothing to do with knowing or not knowing love....and love can be a tricky thing sometimes...but i think you're not in love with the father. This is a hard thing to comment on....how old are you? ↑
im 19. and at the time i DID love them....but i didnt realize that i WASNT in love with them...i didnt wait till i was married...well because i was brought up to wait. BUT ... i never belive in that. i felt if i was in love with some one that i would have sex....im not a hore and i dont have sex with just any guy so dont think that. but if i am prego. by NOOOO means will i have an abortion. i dont belive in that and sorry to say but i dont have much care for the many girls that have. i have to accept the consiquences of my actions. and im ready..well have to be ready to do that. .........but the best for the baby DOESNT necessisarly...mean their HAS to be 2 parents....it CAN be one...................................... dont judge me brenna espicially when you dont know me. ↑
thanks momtobe942.........i just hate when people hmmm....categorize you by age...instead of maturity....age is just a number (after 18) lol...just to make things legal.....but...still you can be 16 and be WAY more mature than most 20 yr olds.... ↑
It CAN be one,but you can't tell me a child doesn't need a mother and a father.As far as maturity goes,I have never met a 16 year old that is more mature than a 20 year old.Although I do commend you on not getting an abortion.Answer me honestly,don't you think if you had waited until you were married to have sex,your lives would have been easier?You wouldn't have to worry about pregnancy,STD's ,and a guy liking you just to get in your pants?Just remember,there is a big difference,between true love and infatuation. ↑
I m not saying a child DOESN’T need a mother and a father……….well maybe you haven’t been around enough teenagers because your head is too far up your ass……even if I HAD waited, NOTHING would have been easier…..and its not like I waited a week then had sex wit him….we had been together for a WHILE before it came to that….and MARRIED or not….MATES DOOO CHEAT!!! They can go out and have sex and bring stds home!!!! I KNOW the difference between true love and infatuation…. ↑
Well you don't really need to pick someone. You don't need to rush into a relationship just because there is a child involved. You keep talking about spending the rest of your life with one of these guys, personally I don't think you should make that decision right now. Like... When you are "in love" you know it and you won't question it. Take it slow, there's nothing wrong with being a single parent. Your options are much wider than just the guys you personally know now. If you're unsure, move on and keep looking until you find someone perfect for you. Good luck. ↑
Brenna, I respect your views, but this being a teen forum it's rare to come across married teenagers wanting advice. That's great that you waited until you were married, I salute you for that. But in this day and age teenagers are having sex and getting pregnant, probably not married and probably not with people they are in love with. Everyone makes mistakes, and I'm sure they are well aware of them. Try concentrating on the present problems they are having, even if they feel bad about it they can't go back and change things. I think you have the best intentions in mind, so I'm not hating or anything, but you will help them a lot more if you give them advice on their current problems. ↑
wow... ok ladyz lemme say this...take your time dear... you dont have to jump into anything right now, sometimes it takes a long time to know when you are truly in love with someone...my favorite saying is "you can only love a person until you see who they really are" it comes quite true a lot more than not.... but the main thing i want to address is if you live in the US the father has 2nd class rights to the mother...if that makes sense...he could try to take you to court to take your lo from you however he would be hard pressed to win that since you would practically have to agree to it for the courts to ever over look keeping a child with its mother...i hope that makes sense...so i wouldnt worry with him, also let me say that an ex is an ex for a reason, and even if you think you can move past that reason it will always be there, and could cause a breakup again... ↑
im not sure about the whole waiting for marriage thing... i mean yeah back in the day...per se people did in the masses, however in this day and age, they aren't.... im sure that lady has thought about the positives and negatives of her decisions and doesn't really need someone to point out what could have been... she made a choice... right or wrong is her choice...not anyone elses...if she is preg maybe it will be the best thing that could happen to her??? you cant read the future... only suspect and conjuer thoughts that you think you know what is best for another, which often is uncalled for...she was venting and that was it, maybe looking for someone in a similar situation, or someone who was preg at 16 to offer helpful advice not hurtful statements,,,, just my opinion...... i have met 20 year olds who were less mature than a 16 year old...so wouldn't that say the 16 year old was more mature? im not saying they should run out and get preg but things happen...and thats the way the world works... there is plenty of support out there for teens who get preg...if it wasn't a common thing there wouldn't be as many resources available to them, hell this forum wouldn't exist would it? Dont worry with people telling you what you "should" of done, thats what they feel, and its your life and your choices and only you know what you should and shouldn't do... sorry for double posting but i hadn't read through all the posts before i posted my last post....and i had to put my opinion out there ↑
Haha, I'm 17 and I could tell you I'm more mature than some 20 year olds. My sister is going to be 21 on May 10th and she is a mess. It's kind of funny, I have to remind her to clean her room an do her laundry, and I'm always at home either cleaning or studying and she's out getting drunk. I sometimes feel like her mom! ↑
Geez,you all quit acting like I am 100 years old.2 of my best friends are 19 years old and they haven't slept with anybody.Not that they haven't had the opportunity,it's just a personal choice.I realize mates cheat,it happens all the time,but I guess it's because my husband and I are truly in love,and the fact that he has been cheated on before and he knows what it feels like,I know in my heart he would never cheat on me,and I'm sure you are all rolling your eyes right about now,and that's okay,but it is true.And with the exception of James Mcavoy,I would never cheat on him either lol.Best of luck to you all^ ↑
brena if your husband has been cheated on before then does that mean he,s hadsex or a girlfriend before you? so doesnt that mislead the point a bit of the whole marriage before sex ect? ↑
Brenna you can surely see how your comment was rather judgmental and slightly patronising. in an ideal world it might seem perfect for a child to have a mother and father both married etc etc etc, but there are many, many unhappy marriages that stay together for the sake of the children/money reasons etc - nobody can tell me they are happy or ideal!! its a womans personal choice when and who she chooses to have sex with and it does not make her any less special/religious/intelligent etc than a woman who chooses to wait till she is married. indeed many religions condone husbands cheating on their wives! i also know of many young teens who are a heck of a lot more mature than adults in their 20's because age is just a number and its one's life experience that makes them into the person they are. indeed my own little sister has been through far more than the average 20 year old and you can evidently see how wise and mature she is because of it. my mum even told her she should write a book about her life so far because it would help others and be very interesting for people to read! i personally believe life is a lesson that tests you along the way, some people learn from it, others don't, age doesn't come into it. i know many 40 odd year olds who are still unhappy because they havent learnt anything in their years!! it is good that you feel you have done things the so called 'right' way, but that does not mean you have a right to patronise girls who have taken different paths in their life. (and incase you are being judgemental of me, no im not a teen mother with no husband). i also wouldnt boast about how you feel your husband would never cheat because he has been cheated on. every guy i have known who has been cheated on has actually then turned into a cheat themselves, and yes they come across as lovely, intelligent married men - a ring doesn't make them faithful, its their inner strength and personality that does. the best thing for ladyZ07 right now is to take some time out by herself to get strong, prepare for her baby and be independant. She doesnt need a man in her life right now because it would just mess with her head and do more harm than good. ↑
=] wow thanks you guys!!!!!! that REALLY helped out ALOT ALOT ALOT. i DO agree with Amanda17 about respecting Brenna's views...i do agree with you about most of what you say. i mean...technically you ARE right. but its realy how you came across about it. it seemed like you were throwing it in my face because i didnt make the "right" choices in my life....but really its MY life, it was given to me. I and now one else decides what should or should not do. yeah i havent made the BEST choices...but they are mine. and i would NEVER take them back. i live with no regrets and will continue to. theirs no point in living in the past for so long. im not going to rush things...i can only take one day at a time as its given....thanks again ladies. =] ↑
ok, to start off, im 19. i have a great job, and amazing boyfriend.....we've known each other for a while. but just started dating OFFICIALLY about a month ago... we have sex with a condom...but the last few times we didnt use one... and on the 26th...last saturday...he MIGHT have came in me...and im scared.... aborthion is OUT of the question!! and then last night...on the 27th.....he did FOR SURE.... im kind of scared about the whole being a mom thing, and how every one will react... =[ i KNOW he will be there to support what ever happens...so im not worried about him leaving me. how soon do i have to wait to find out if i even am pregnat for sure?..................ok so what do you mean by you decided to have his child? are you saying you were trying for a baby after only "officially" being with this guy for a month?? and oh by the way the top bit is from your other post........where u were all happy with this guy and stuff.... ↑
angelmonkey....look....i THOUGHT i was in love with this guy...it wasnt just some one i met a month before then dated for another month...ive known him for like....3 years. i knew what kind of person he was. so its not like i blindly walked into that relationship. i trusted him and he trusted me with the baby issue. we had talked about having a baby...i wanted a baby..but wasnt sure WHEN...and he was all for it...just when ever I decided......so...twice we went for it.....i dont take it back. no point in it. its situations like this can either make me or break me....i choose for it to make me...make me stronger make me better make me prepared. judge how you want angelmonkey, your opinion means sh!t to me. for one...i dont kow you thus i dont care about you. two...ive read you posts on other threads...your already miserable. and three...cant NO one hiding behind some screen take me down. take all that how you want it. say what you want. but it wont hurt me. ↑
NICE POST LADY!!!!!
angel monkey you wanna call me awhore for being pregnant, but you're 19 and been wit this dude for a month and are trying to have his baby? ↑
haha llukeenjess get your facts right for 1 im not 19 and i havnt been with my partner for a month! so you did get confused and 2 i have never called you a whore!! you could always prove it and copy the post i suposidly called u a whore! and stick it on here!! lady im sorry if u thought i was being mean i wasnt just giving my opinion. and 3 i am at the happiest point in my life at the moment!! so you wana think im miserable then u do that its no skin of my nose! ↑
Actually,Angel my husband has been married before,it's a long story,not really anybody's business.I am sure in you're experience CAT,what you said is true about guys cheating,but I'm not relying on a ring to keep me and my husband together.We have more than that,and I guess if you don't know what I am talking about,then I honestly feel sorry for you.But,it's not my job to convince you of anything,just like you probably aren't going to convince me of anything either.I'm not being judgemental,it's just that there are so many posts with teenagers that are thinking they are pregnant,do they not know what causes it?Angel,If you are so scared about being pregnant why did you have unprotected sex? ↑
