just need some support.

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Just Need Some Support.

3 posts on this thread and the last post was on November 17th, 2008 12:54 PM

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pinkbo0tlace - February 28th, 2008 10:33 AM

[Original Post]

my name is ashley. i have a 3 year old daughter and a one year old son. i am due sept 12, 08. the father is the same father of my son, and of course, like usual and himself - he doesn't want anything to do with me or this child and this pregnancy. i feel ashamed for getting pregnant again - but i can't go back so i just have to look to the future. i have decided on open adoption but - my heart aches at the same time. my feelings are very mixed...half of me knows this is honestly the best thing for this child right now, to have two loving, married parents that can finacially, emotionally & mentally, & physcially care for s/he. But, the other half of my heart is sobbing that - this is what it has to come down too. i hate the idea of leaving the hospital with no baby, i cannot nurse s/he, etc... but at the same time i hate to think of the struggles three children would bring on to me, and them as well. anyone have any supportive advice? please no bashing about me getting pregnant again - every woman's situation is different & this is a place to offer support & understanding.... not to hurt each other. thanks. ---ashley

clindholm - March 18th, 2008 11:25 AM

When do you need to make your final decision? Hopefully, you have some time to come to terms with whichever option is best for you. It is great that you are putting the baby's well being first. Don't be so hard on yourself, there are plenty of women who make mistakes with men!

sis - October 29th, 2008 2:03 AM

just read your post- were you able to make up your mind- and i agree with the last person - dont be hard on yourself. also its takes a strong person to consider adoption b/c they love their child enough to know whats best for them

rspears01 - November 17th, 2008 12:54 PM

It sounds like you've had a really rough time of things. Adoption is a really beautiful choice and you're a wonderful person for giving your child life. That alone is a great testament to the love you have for him/her.
I'm 30 and my husband is 28.
I think an open adoption is a really great option. My husband and I lost a daughter in our seventh month after many, many years of trying to years of conceive. We have also been told we can no longer have children so we're looking to adopt. We would actually prefer an open adoption because as the child gets older you can make sure they understand that their first mom loved them so much that she gave them a better life - that even though her heart ached for him/her she put her own interests aside and did what was best for him/her. I believe it's important that the child knows that.
It's also great if the first mom can be part of the family. If other siblings can be involved I think it's ideal as well...we hope to simply join with another family and have a large network of family for our child to grow up in...feeling loved by so many.
If you would like ot know more about us, please get in touch with us rspears01 at g mail dt com or ms42721 on Y!
Jill

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