• Week by Week
  • Sex and Pregnancy
  • Weight Gain
  • Exercise and Nutrition

New to the forum? Sign Up Here!

Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password? Need Help?  
Learn and Discuss About...

Husband Trying To Find Me A Job (also Posted In Breastfeedin

3 posts on this thread and the last post was on August 20th, 2006 3:11 AM
There are currently 4889 members logged in.
piratesmermaid - August 17th, 2006 5:47 PM
[Original Post]

My husband's boss's wife is a photographer downtown, and apparently she's looking for an office manager and wants to talk to me because of my hubby continuing to mention me to her. I didn't ask for him to do this, and I know we're tight on money right now, but our daughter is only a month old, and I don't feel comfortable leaving her yet. The agreement my hubby and I had in the beginning was that I would start looking some time the end of September for a job. Though what my hubby said was that I could bring our daughter with me. I would really like to work there, but my girl is still eatting every 1 and a half to 2 hours, and each feeding still takes 45 minutes to an hour, so if I brought her with I would be feeding her more than I would be working. If I didn't bring her with, I'd either have to leave her with someone or my husband would have to take her to work with him, which would decrease his effenciancy (sp?) greatly, plus I would be pumping like 4 times a day at work if I was producing enough, and/or she would be getting formula which I don't like and then whatever money I would make at this job would go to buying formula because it's not cheap. I just don't think we're ready for me to leave the house yet. But my hubby is mad that I don't want to work yet. And it's not that I don't want to, because I do, but I just want to put my baby girl first, and I feel by working, I wouldn't be doing that. So now this woman wants to talk to me, but I haven't been looking for a job, and why why why does my hubby have to do it for me withOUT mentioning it to me before someone wants to talk to me? Any opinions???? I'm open to'em!!!


ConfuseD - August 18th, 2006 8:45 AM

Well, it was rather thoughtless of your husband not to discuss this with you BEFORE making mention to the wife, and I'd be rather livid, if it were me, because his attitude seems less than compassionate. He's mad that you "don't want to work"?! Excuse me?! You just gave birth, and besides, what is caring for one's children - playtime? While I totally agree that your daughter is still very young (too young), and that your body is still healing, I do, however, think this is an (flexible) opportunity worth considering (for the end of September, at the very earliest, as you originally speculated). I'm looking at this from the perspective of a woman who hates being away from her children (and doesn't believe daycare is preferable to parent/family care), and also doesn't believe anybody gets anywhere financially by paying nearly all, if not all, their income towards daycare. I understand your money is tight, and I think your hubby may be in a bit of a panic about it (part of the shock of being a new parent). He's faced with the responsibility of a new life and he's scared (not that you're not feeling anything). Perhaps, when he heard about the job, ESPECIALLY since it was from someone he knows, it was a knee-jerk reaction for him to volunteer your services. Don't get me wrong...I understand your concerns about your precious baby girl. She IS very little, and she DOES need your attention. She DOES come first, and SHOULD. What I'd recommend is, at least, talking with the wife. If she's very understanding and has children herself, I think you have a lot to be thankful for. Perhaps she'll let you work for her part-time, still allowing for you to bring your baby along and take your needed nursing/cuddle/playtime breaks. Consider yourself super-blessed, if you get an opportunity like this. Then, as circumstances permit, you can increase your hours, if need be. I think the potential sounds really good; you just need more information as to what is, or is not, allowed, and be certain you're comfortable with it. Also, after you've finished talking with the wife, your husband needs to butt out of your "work". If he insists, though, perhaps you might want to look over the employment section of the newspaper and circle any jobs you think he could have that might pay more. Maybe he'll start to get the hint then. If not, or in addition to, call some day care centers and get information about day care...not for future use, but to let him know what YOUR JOB is actually worth in dollars and cents.


piratesmermaid - August 18th, 2006 4:56 PM

Thank you for your opinion, it really helped!!! I did learn last night that another wife of a co-worker of my husband's worked for this woman during the last few weeks of pregnancy and through the first year of her son's life, bringing him with her and bf-ing. So that was encouraging. I've decided I'm going to at least talk to her and tell her my concerns like you suggested. Also my husband feels that working will help with my current depressed state. I've basically been stuck in the house since we moved here 8 months ago, first due to the bloody cold (I'm a Southern girl and prefer heat), then due to the third trimester and lack of knowing a single soul, now because of caring for a newborn. My hubby things my moods will improve if I get out of the house. We'll see. Oh my hubby told me last night that his boss actually brought it up to my hubby, not the other way around as I originallt thought, because my hubby's boss knows that I'm an artist and figured I'd get along really well with his photographer wife since she is looking for some help with scheduling appointments and stuff like that.


ConfuseD - August 20th, 2006 3:11 AM

It sounds even more encouraging with your last post. It sounds as though your husband, and his employers, is trying to help you feel better. These kinds of things are a total blessing when they happen, so you don't want to pass up the opportunity when it comes your way. As your husband suggested, using your artistic talents (which, it sounds like, he's very proud of) should help you keep your creative juices flowing, which should help you not be depressed. Being housebound isn't good, either. I think it's great that you have the caring support of his employers...they sound like very nice, and very open-minded people! Not everybody thinks you can tend to a child, and get work done, too. Ha! Remember how much you do at home with a child in tow. It CAN be done! Too bad more employers weren't like that!!