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My parents also had children young. I consider myself young (21) even though I am married and finished with college (unless I go for a masters...) I couldn't imagine at 13-18 looking for a guy to impregnate me. It just never crossed my mind as a feasible option. I would've looked like a whale in my swim team photos!!!! I realize that girls get pregnant accidentally and I sympathize with them because they may have just had faulty BC and bad luck. But I also have a hard time imagining TTC at that age. To each her/his own.

I just think when girls come in here typing "I want a keed and i'm onley forteen and i have wanted this all my life and i'm so in luv w/ a 19 y/o" blah blah blah blah blah. Half the time correct english isn't used. I hope if my kid is a girl that she will have better sense to go out and get impregnated at 14. Marybeth-I'm not in any way trying to put a bad name to younger parents. Mine were awesome and it's so nice that my mom will be a grandmother young. I'm talking about the ones that come on here soley for attention. I am very happy for you. No way would I be ready at 21. I was all about partying and living it up. :) I'm glad I waited. Just dependsd on when you can take it on. And you should consider yourself young (you are!). I'm 24.

Quigs227, I wasn't in any way offended by your posts. I hope I didn't come acrossed as upset in any way, I agree with what you said about very young ones trying to conceive. I did notice a great number of spelling errors, maybe it is the newest trend in computers!? Beats me, I can't read a lot of these posts. My mom was way younger than me when she had her first. She said that it wasn't like she tried to get pregnant, she just didn't care if she did. For her it turned out fine, she married my dad and they own a distribution business together and are very successful with four children. That usually isn't the case though, and she always said that it was hard establishing themselves in the business world because of their young ages. People tended not to take them seriously until after they had the business and made it work for years and years. It's easier for me because I am a nurse and people are used to seeing younger women in nursing!!! That, however is the reason I never got into partying, my parents owned a beer store in the city I went to college in!! They sold beer to a lot of the bars in the area. Wouldn't it be nice if the bartender went to pick up the latest shipment of Coors and told my father "I saw your daughter last night, she was dancing drunk on top of my bar!" I say that because it happened to my younger sister recently, oh the embarrassment.

I guess I'm slightly offended yet I also agree. I'm 20 and ttc. I'm engaged and finishing up my last year of college. I've wanted kids for years (but we just recently started ttc). The only answer I can come up with is that for centuries before this one, woman were having children at the age of 13, 14, 15, etc. It was common. I guess maybe it might be innate, dating back to our primal instincts of reproduction and survival. I went through a really hard time when I was 16. All I thought about was kids and I really really really had it set in my mind that I wanted one. But I didn't go around looking for a guy to "impregnate" me. I also think its unfair to say that girls have babies to fill voids in their lives. I'm sure that there are some that do, but I know I'm having a child because I love my fiance more than anything, and there is nothing in this world that would make me happier than to bring another human into this world that we can love together.

I am 20 yrs old and I already have a 1 and a half yr old little Girl.My husband is 23 yrs old and we are both happily married and we love our daughter.I was VERY active in sports and extra caricular activities growing up. Everyone has there own opinions about how old someone should be when they are growing up.I agree no one should get pregnant unless they are absolutely ready, not only emotionally, but physically and financially.
We have been married for two years and we have known each other since we were 12.
And we plan on having more kids in the future.

I don't think you get my point, and I tried and tried to say I'm not dogging on young parents. If you read my comments, I'm sure you'd pick that up. But a 14 year old wanting to get impregnated by a 19 year old and comes on here and does not talk in proper english? Give me a break. I can have my opinion on matters like that. I don't think you should have a child when you're a child yourself (14 is what? a freshman in highschool?). Again, my parents were married at 17, had me at 18. How cool is it now that i'm so close to my mom? However, some situations I think is ridiculous, especially when they type "He has another wooman butt I no he wants me to have his babie". Come on now, it's either a lie or she just wants attention. Again, read all of my posts and realize I was not trying to offend younger parents.

QUIGGS -- I was so wrapped in activities and working that I didn't start dating until I was 22 going on 23...that was when I had my first kiss. LOL....so - I get what you are saying though. I teach 13 & 14 year olds and many times they are seeking attention and the need to love....be loved back and to love something. They want so bad to be grown up and be part of that world, yet they are so young and have so much growing up to do. The girls that I know - their parents work jobs of all hours and they are left alone most of the time to grow up; whereas my parents raised me. My parents knew what activities I was in and attend all of my events, but my girls (students) don't have that kind of support. Does that make any sense? If they have a baby or go out with a man a little older but a lot less mature, they are doing it because they are looking for their independence and need to be loved. Unfortunately, they end up on the wrong path. I don't blame these girls as much as I do their parents....AGAIN, I'm only speaking from my expereinces with my students! There are many parents who are involved in their child(rens) lives and the girls still seek attention and want to have babies young.....

Omg! 14 and TTC? Does she understand that TTC involves financial planning too? I wonder if her parents know she is planning this. She can't even have a job of her own to take care of a child! Who does she expect to pay for it? And wanting to get pregnant with someone who 'has another woman' Why would a self respecting girl want to tie herself to someone like that? A man who thinks it's ok in the first place to screw around with a 14 year old girl. My husband is 21 and if he screwed around first off, but much less with a 16 year old little girl I would have even less respect for him. How can she think she loves him or that he loves her? What is her definition of love? Sounds to me more like she crushes on this guy and wants a baby to tie him to her which is completely the wrong reason. I am just so appalled...And I can't imagine a 19 year old who is still having affairs being ready or even wanting to have a child. Omg. There is such thing as too young. Some say even my age (21) is too young, but I do feel I am ready for a child and we have been TTC since getting married (at 19) but admittedly just a week before getting pregnant (just over a month before finding out) we had announced to our family we wanted to wait until we were around 24 to get pregnant to have more time to grow up, but despite all of that, our BFP was still the happiest day ever and my husband is and has been so thrilled since day one that we are having a baby. So, yea, knowing that even being financially stable and emotionally stable, that we have our worries and fears (who doesn't for the first?) I can't imagine the difficulties being 14 would pose, health wise, financially, emotionally, and in the long run (feeling like you never got a teenhood and regretting your child) I'd tell her learn to spell before deciding to pop a LO out, however harsh it is, no job will take her seriously with such a serious lack of intelligence or education.

The pregnant fourteen year old with bad English doesn't make me angry it makes me sad. Do any of us know her circumstances or what she has been through in life? If she is wanting to get pregnant and can't articulate her own language correctly at 14, I don't think it is entirely her fault. It's a cycle. She most likely isn't ready to be a mother, but I'm guessing this all has to do with social economics. She probably didn't have people in her life guiding her or teaching her. Let's face it, public schooling sucks and unless the child is naturally a genius she won't learn anything at school with out support at home. If it really upsets you, Instead of blogging condescending words to girls like her, why don't you get involved in your community and try to help prevent this from happening. Have some humanity and be grateful for the examples you have had in your life, expand your mind to realize that not everyone is so fortunate

Do they not have lives? you ask. Once they have a kid they won't have a life of their own for years! They will be robbed of many fun experiences that other, childless girls have. And for those who are thinking that their "life sucks right now anyway, I don't have a social life, so why not have a kid" Just remember that things change.

You may become popular after high school, or you may want to pursue a great career. Well, that's going to be difficult with a baby, won't it?

Also, a single woman without a baby is a lot more attractive to men than a single woman with a baby. A single, childless young woman still has all her options.

True your options are limited as a single woman with a baby, but it is insensitive to say she is unattractive.
Someone who doesn't have it together can be unattractive, but I know plenty childless people who appear unattractive for that reason. Don't stereotype it to young moms.
You've never done something stupid because you felt alone or confused or misguided?
A young and single mom can be VERY attractive if she has her blankety blank together. Infact I would be so impressed if I came across a single mother who was young and took care of her child as well as accomplished her personal goals ie graduating high school.
I dont recommend going out and getting preggo at 15, bad idea, but if you have found yourself in that situation all is not lost. Its going to be very hard but its so possible, women are a magnificent sex. Boo to anyone who says your life is over if you are young and pregnant.

Being in the teaching profession I know that kids are growing up alot faster and I think you guys all have great opinions and I do believe that having a child before the age of twenty isn't the best idea, but I also have trouble nowadays because people sound so judgemental. We all know that planning to have a child before twenty isn't the best but how are we to judge their situations. Maybe they don't have positive role models. Everyone makes mistakes and they only way people learn is by making mistakes. I think people need to talk to this kids and explain what having a children entales not just critize them once they get pregnant. I think its unfair to just say they don't have lives, i think parents need to explain to their children consquences of having sex not just assume that their too young to know. Children at fourteen don't have the mental capacity to make good desicions parents, if they are involved need to take some inciative and responsibility too.

i feel sorry for them! i know exactly what you mean! waaay too young! i was still playing barbies at 13 =P. im 22 now, and im not pregnant, but am hoping in the near future to find my perfect mate =oD and settle down...even though i even feel too young at 22! so being 14 would be crazy! or even 18! your still a child yourself!

Things have changed so much over time, there's so much more peer pressure and not enough education. People are becoming so much more manipulating towards younger girls they think they have to be that way in order to feel older or fit in. There's not enough sex ed for these kids to be learning the dangers of having sex and what not.. atleast not enough indepth education. When i was 14 was seeing this 16 year old kid.. there's a huge maturity difference between a 14 yr old and 16.. It's not the kids fault they're doing these things.. well it partially is but not completely.. they're still young and dont completely understand the consequences..parents need to step in and intervene in their kids lives and teach them right from wrong. I'm young and i wish my parents would of had a 'sex talk' with me. or even talk to me about the safteys. Parents are just in denial that their kids are sexually active.

There are a lot of children today trying to get pregnant at such a young age. There's even adults that are trying to and they aren't ready. I hope I don't offend anyone, I just mean, I'm 22 and I have a beautiful five month old. Twenty two is a young age for a lot of people, but I also feel a 38 year-old that hasn't found a supportive husband and is just trying to get pregnant to feel loved by someone is just as crazy as someone that is fourteen. Granted, they may be more financially stable, but it's the same concept. I don't agree with teen pregnancy in the least bit. I was pregnant at 18 and engaged and we lost our daughter. My husband and I are better people because of it, even though I would still give anything to have her. However, being married for almost four years now, I realize that having a child before enjoying time with your spouse is crazy. I know not everyone agrees. I mean, I love my hubby so much that I wanted to have a child with him to show him that, but children are blessings and also a strain on a marriage. Too many people put their children first and then divorce rates goes up. They haven't had the time with each other that they need to be able to enjoy each other and then they add a baby to it, which causes so much emotional strain. The focus is no longer on the marriage and that can cause infidelity and arguments or anything of that nature. That's why I feel that anyone who is planning on having a child should be married (call me old fashioned, even though I'm still "young") and plan to still "date" at least once a month after they have a baby. Their marriage is more important than their children because one day their children will grow up and leave them and they will be roommates with a stranger. I worked in a law firm and saw too many marriages end in divorce after forty years because "they just didn't know each other anymore" because their children were first. So, for any teenagers that feel that that child is going to fill your void and be someone to love, remember you will always love them, but it's not going to be an easy life and one day they will go on with their lives and love someone else. So consider, instead, to find someone that you can love now. Help at a day care or a church Sunday school. Babysit. Play with children as much as you can, but don't try to have one of your own. You will miss out on a lot and it will be harder for you and it will be harder on your child. Remember, your actions impact your child and the way you have relationships with other people can shape the way they end up in relationships. If you want to really have children and give them all you can, wait until you are old enough to do so and ready enough to show them what love really is.

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