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I'm surpsing to have my baby on the 3rd of March

what?

I started this thread and really appreciate your supportive, positive comments.

I am due in 8 weeks and will let you know how it goes.

Please to not attack oneanother on this thread. If you're posting on a thread about tears and c-section problems, you've likely had some strong experiences.

If we are harsh with eachother, it adds stress.

Aren't we all here to decrease our stress and learn from eachother?

Thanks again for the postive, helpful posts.
Jessica R.

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you.

Sounds like you could pursue a lawsuit. You have a right to those records.

Many doctors support elective c following problems as yours.

I suggest you read Pelvic Health and Childbirth by Magnus Murphy and Carol Wasson.

Very enlightening re: the current opinions of OBs and what to do when you have problems as severe as yours. My prayers go out to you!
Jessica R

Thank you for your kind words - it is my son's sixth birthday in a week and always a painful time of year for me. I did try to sue the hospital but was told by an 'expert' that as over a third of women develop some form of rectal damage, that what i went through was 'normal' and that I have no right to complain; I should just be grateful that they didn't kill me or my son. I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD but that is via a counsellor, not a GP as I still have a phobia about doctors after the way in which I was treated. I would like to know if you have decided on a c-section this time or not? The baby issue has come up again with my husband and as I still want a baby it would be reassuring to hear how you get on.

Paulalu-

I had no problem getting a Dr. to agree to a c-section. From the research I've done, the medical community is moving toward elective c-section for women who could have an increase in pelvic floor or rectal damage with a subsequent pregnancy. It's no wonder you have PTSD- I think it's great that you're getting counseling. I had the same thing for about 10 months until my pain got under control. I kept having flashbacks of the birth, couldn't stop crying, etc. I know that when I was really upset and stressed and in pain, it was hard for me to "see" things clearly. From the outside looking in on your situation, it seems to me that you should have no problem finding a Doctor who will allow an elective C for a future pregnancy. I suggest you go out and Dr. shop just as you did for your pediatrician. When you meet the doctor, tell them a short version of your problem, and ask her/his opinion re: future pregnancies. If YOU don't like the answer, move on to another doctor until you DO like the answer. I really feel that we as women are being treated by the Obstetrical community as if we're completely unimportant, and lucky, as you said, if we or the baby didn't die. That is a load of garbage. There is a movement going on in the OB field, related to current research, that supports elective C to prevent further damage. check out the book I suggested in the last post- it is really helpful.
What do you think of my ideas?

My 4th degree tear was horrible. Two weeks after I delivered, my stitches began to come apart. The pain was worse than childbirth. My doctor kept saying "wait and see". I still don't know why he didn't try to correct the problem right away. After I stopped bleeding from my recovery, I noticed stool coming from my vagina and I was passing air from there as well. He said I had a recto-vaginal fistula. Two months later he sent me to a colo-rectal surgeon. He told me my perenium was destroyed and had to be reconstructed. Surgery was inevitable for that as well as the fistula. I was so depressed. Why couldn't I have had a c-section? Why did he do such a terrible job stitching me up? I had to take 5 months leave from work. My surgery was almost two months ago. The recovery was really hard, and there is a chance I may have to have it re-done if it doesn't heal. It's common for it not to work the first time, which my surgeon let me know from the start. I hope my story helps someone out there. It can be so scary when things go wrong. But through it all, I still would like more children when I am fully recovered. My surgeon says I will definitely have to have a c-section so I don't risk this happening again. The healing process is long. Get a lot of help with your baby if you can while you heal. I wish everyone reading this the best. It will get better with time. But oh, vaginal birth is anything but natural.

Had 4th degree with my daughter 2 1/2 years ago was worst thing in the world want to avoid it (i am due in june) and just wanted to say this board is extremely unhelpful if i was unsure before I am unsure if I should have even gotten pregnant! We should be helping to alleviate the fears if you had problems with a csection but have never had a vaginal tear this board is NOT for you. She asked from people who tore which they would do cause unless you have torn that much you have no idea the fear of it happening again. I have not had any inc9ontinence problems as of yet but i was hoping to avoid them in this delivery by having csection but according to most of the people on here i will have severed nerves and incontinence anyways so what is the point! The only thing this board has done is make me wonder why I thought it would be okay to have another child!

I think you're taking it the wrong way, but I understand your fears and your point. I think people who have had complications from C sections are just wanting to let us know that C sections aren't a walk in the park. I had a 4th degree tear with my first and then a c section 6 months ago to avoid tearing again and it was the best decision ever. C sections aren't easy, but it was waaaay easier than my first. However, that is just my experience. I'm a big believer in c sections for moms who have torn badly. Best of luck to you!!

Hi lauren-just wanted to talk to you for a sec-I have never had a vaginal birth-had an emergency c section and with this pregnancy (due in June too) I am having a planned c section. I just wanted to ask if you have spoke to your doctor about having a c section. I didn't do my homework bc I thought that I wouldn't need one-but things happen and I did. Mine wasn't so bad. I got sick on the operating table due to nerves bc it all happened so fast and I felt like everything was out of my control, but as soon as I heard my son cry-I was soo happy. C sections are painful, (and yes things can happen) but for me-nothing did. I healed and was back to having sex 5 weeks after. The only thing that was difficult for me was everytime I needed to sneeze or cough, etc. I had to hold a pillow to my incision bc it felt as though my insides were going to bust out. But, the doctor gives you meds to go home with, and my husband was a great help too. Personally, I saw my friend tear to her rectum and I know that that isn't something that I would want to happen again if that happened to me. I apologize that this board is of help, I too, come here for Q's or to try to help others and everytime I give my opinion or experience there are 5 others right there saying how bad it was, trying to scare people out of it. Just be open with your doc and ask the risks, complications, etc. While I was being rushed My doc was going over risks and she said the number 1 concern would be that sometimes the baby can get cut be the knife, but not too often does that happen, it didn't for me. Hope this helps!

My reg OB told me she thought I could deliver normally if it was done right and would induce if weight was high. Then I met with her associate as she was on vacation and he said reading my chart if I was his wife he would want me to have a csection. He told me what could happen (incontince fecal and urinary and painful sex) if I tore again and he did not think it was worth the risk. It got me thinking I did not want to risk it I had post partum bad after tear and I think it had a lot to do with it. I need to talk to my OB I sent her a letter telling her I want a csection but guess will need to hear all the facts. It would help if I did not hear 2 different opinions in the same damn office!! I wil only be 24 and don't want to have to deal with incontince forever! I am only 5 feet tall and only 110lbs when got pregnant my daughter was 8lbs8oz and your second baby is usually more. The other doc said they can guess wieght but can be up to 25% off which means if they think baby is 7lbs and induce could be 9 lbs and I will most certainly tear. It is a different doctor this time but now I am terrified. I have this decision to make but have no idea how!

lauren-I am 24 too, my son was 9.9 pounds at birth, the doc said that there was no way that I would have ever gotten him out vaginally. She said that we should go ahead with a section this time due to the distress and everything that happened with my son. And that is fine with me. If your doc doesn't see a need for the c section and you come to the decision that that is the way that you want to go, maybe you should switch to the other doctor. Some doctors don't see grounds for a c section just for tears, and then, some do. Do you know anyone personally that you could talk to about their c section? Or, maybe you could get an outside opinion. You need to have a consultation with your doctor about this. And, there are several books out there about c sections-sometimes they are included in pregnancy books-in the chapters about labor. They are pretty straight forward-also your doc office can give you info about it.

Jenn well at my first meeting with my OB she said based on your chart if you came in and demanded a csection I would give it to you but she said also she thought could deliver just fine but I just don't think I would. My husband is kinda large and my daughter is small now but was a very big baby and second usually larger i just don't know !!!

it seems from your posts that in your gut, you are feeling like you should have a csection and are just fearful. I was fearful too but thought the c/s was the lesser of the 2 evils....

Have a c-section - yes, it's clear that you are scared, that's hardly surprising as your first birth resulted in such a severe tear. Although you say you have no obvious incontinence, you are at high risk of developing problems with a second vaginal delivery. I wouldn't take the risk.

I had the same issues and somewhat unhappily went with the second vaginal delivery. What a difference from the first birth! First baby was the trailblazer and my first tear didn't even re-tear at all! My second labor was better, the pushing was easier, I didn't tear and the second baby was bigger...I am very happy, of course. I was up and around a whole lot easier than the lady who delivered by c-section the same day as me. And my private area feels great and back to normal 2 weeks later. Something to think about. :)