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Hi Confused - I completely know how you feel right now... I have been there before.
My then-husband-now ex, sorry :o( - and I conceived my daughter LITERALLY on our honeymoon. The pregnancy caught me as much by surprise as anybody... A month later, I went to the dr thinking I had an inner ear infection with dizzy spells and left with a positive pregnancy test... I WAS ON THE PILL!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?? He and I had talked about wanting kids but not right away... well... so much for our plans. Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.
He called me after the appt to see how I was feeling and I told him the news. He screamed. He nearly crashed. He was furious. He hung up on me & gave me the silent treatment while he stormed around the house for 3 days. In my head, I was hurt - I was angry and I just couldn't understand his reaction. We were married. I was 32. It's not like we were unwed highschool kids! We wanted kids "some day". I made close to $100k a year and had fantastic medical benefits. I had been a single mom for 12 years before marrying him so i KNEW i could do it on my own so his support was - albeit WANTED - not needed. My pregnancy was the start of a very bad downhill spiral spurred by lack of honesty & communication, bitterness, and hurt feelings. The marriage continued downhill for 4 years until there was just so much bad ju-ju between us, it was unbearable and unhealthy for the kids. We separated and tried everything but ultimately, even a marriage counselor said "get divorced" so we divorced.
That was almost 2 years ago. We have both moved on & accept that we will be in each other's lives for ever because of our daughter so we do our best to stay friends - so to speak. About a month ago (our daughter is 4 1/2 now) he FINALLY opened up to me & said that his initial reaction was not anger, it was fear. Can you imagine? If he would have opened up to me and TOLD me that sooner, the ending to our story could have been vastly different.
Long story short... maybe your DH is just terrified that he won't be able to provide for you & 2 kids. Sit with him talk to him with compassion - discuss budget, discuss finances, if you don't work, maybe suggest something on the side that could bring in a little extra (Like Daycare? Avon? PartyLite? Pampered Chef? Tastefully Simple?) I'd be willing to bet that he'd be able to put his fears aside and share the joy if you guys come up with a plan for finances... just don't let this overshadow the love you have for your DH. Good luck to you both.
Somewhere around day 5 he came to me and admitted that the anger was not really anger, it was fear.
 
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