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Whoa, hold on there! I'm not attacking anyone. Let me explain a little more. I had two babies with fatal birth defects before I had my son. Then I went on to have a healthy child, and I have another healthy child on the way. Speaking as someone who has actually had something wrong with my child, I can tell you that IF, GOD FORBID, anything were to happen to the children of any of the ladies on this thread, they would most likely beat themselves up. I know I did. I questioned whether it was the beer or cigs I had before I knew I was pregnant. I questioned whether it was my morning cup of coffee. I questioned whether it was my face soap, my bath temperature, my job stress -- everything. I know how it feels to be that 1 out of 1,000, and it's not fun. I'm not judging anyone. I'm just saying that fortunately you and your family have been the ones in the majority -- the ones who've come out healthy despite everything. My babies were on the other side. And please, let me clarify, I am in no way saying that it was definitely cigarettes that caused my sons' problems. However, when something like that happens, you do tend to question everything you did "wrong." That's all I'm saying.

Nor am I attacking you, I simply wanted to clarify as you stated that my post could be interpreted as saying it was ok to smoke all you wanted & everything be ok, which is not what I was saying and I wanted to make that clear. By the way I had a m/c 3 years ago, but I know that my smoking had nothing to do with it. And it is highly unlikely that yours had anything to do with your losses either. I am sorry that you had to suffer through the trauma of a loss as I know how that feels, but the majority of birth defects (especially fatal ones) are caused by chromosomal abnormalities, which noone has any control over. It is simply one of those things that happens. Not to start a religion debate, but I believe in God and that babies are a gift from God and that he has a plan for each persons life and no matter what you do or do not do, you are going to receive exactly what he has intended for you to receive. I did not think I was going to be able to conceive again (it took us over 4 years) I had convinced myself that my one child was going to be the only blessing I was to receive. I was told by Dr.s that my next step was IVF, which I was not willing to go through, so needless to say, this pregnancy came as a very big surprise. And since I was smoking when I realized I was pregnant and I have tried to quit in the past and know the stress I have gone through, I decided that cutting back was better for me than trying to quit. As I said, for those who can quit, that is wonderful, but for those who can't, a few a day is better than the stress of quitting. And although they say that the smoking causes pre term labor & low birth weight, etc., I honestly believe that in these cases where these things do happen, there is more to the story than just smoking, and if it is just the smoking, then we are talking about women who smoke 2-3 packs a day, which noone here is doing. As I said, I think any statistics can be tailored to suit a particular outcome, if so desired, so I do not trust them. I trust what I have experienced myself, which is many women smoking around a half a pack or so a day, carrying to term & delivering perfectly healthy babies.

I'm glad that you know that smoking had nothing to do with your miscarriage. I don't have that luxury. My babies had neural tube defects, and the thing about those is that NO ONE knows what causes them, not even doctors. Researchers do think that there is a genetic component, but they also have a mile-long list of things, including alcohol and smoking, that they think deplete folic acid in the body. So, it's not out of the realm of possibilities that something I did to my body at least contributed to the defects. Regardless, if you're comfortable smoking, fine. I thought maybe I could offer the other side of this. It seems a lot of people are on here strictly to try to make themselves feel better about smoking while pregnant, rather than giving themselves reasons to quit. I do agree with you that babies who have smoking-related problems probably had other factors that aren't always mentioned in those studies. And I'm not one of these people who thinks that one cigarette a day is going to harm the baby. But I have not jumped on anyone, or caught an attitude with anyone. I feel like anyone on here who says actually tries to give reasons why these girls should really try to quit smoking is going to be ridiculed and thought of as an extremist.

Hi ladies, I've been reading your thread and I found this website called baby center that tells the effects of smoking (someone asked about a website). I smoked for about 4 years and had a hard time quitting, but I did quit for about a year then later went to social smoker status, but the baby gave me a reason to quit completely. I know it's a hard battle to overcome so I wish the best to you all!

By the way, I don't want to start another crazy-ass thread where we're calling each other names, like the drinking while pregnant one. I really want to keep this civil.

I want to keep things civil as well, and I have not called any names and I do not intend to. I just don't want the girls on here stressing out over a few cigarettes a day, because the stress will cause more damage than a few cigarettes. Of course like I said if they can quit, then that is great..but some people go through severe withdrawals when trying to quit smoking, and that would be much worse on the baby than to continue to have a few. And as I said, I have read the research, but I also have personal experiences that counter that research, and lead me to believe that there has to be more going on besides just smoking a few cigarettes to cause these problems. Whether it is something within the mothers control or not. As the title of this thread reads these ladies are trying to quit and that is why I did not post here until I was asked to. I don't feel that my post has encouraged anyone not to contiunue to try to quit, but only given a little piece of mind as they do continue to struggle with it.

I posted here because I still consider myself someone who is trying to quit, even though, for all practical purposes, I have. Just about every day, I would love nothing more than to sit back on my patio with a pack of Marlboro Lights and a 6 pack of beer, but I don't. I've managed to not do it, and that is why I'm here. I know that after I have the baby, I will have a very difficult time trying to continue not smoking. I thought I could offer an example of someone who has managed to quit while pregnant to those moms who are actually trying to quit, as the title of the thread implies, and not those who are looking for an excuse to continue doing so. I do know that there are some people out there who have out-of-control addictions, and that those people probably should not quit cold turkey. But as far as the stress factor goes, I think that the stress of having a low-birthweight baby and the potential for a lifetime of problems that go along with that dwarfs the stress of not smoking for a few months -- for a good number of people. I'm no better than anyone else; I have a feeling smoking will, unfortunately, be part of my life for a long time. But if the only people who are welcome on this thread are people who are really looking for an out because they're comfortable playing the odds, then I guess I do not belong. Good luck.

cindernar, I asked elcsdc to post her story here because I know there are a few of us who may not be able to quit at all and we feel really guilty about it and I thought it would help us feel a little less guilty if we could not quit. I still am determined to quit and I will do my absolute best but if I cannot I get comfort out of elcsdc's story and that is why I asked her to tell it. I didn't want it to cause an argument. Once again the link for that book is cherry-pie.com.au/Smoking.html the only dash is between the cherry and pie and the s needs to be capitalized. My expected quit date will be December 27th has anyone else set their quit date yet?

K. Fair enough. Good luck with it!

Yep, my quit date is 12/31. We're moving 12/30 and the 31st will be the 1st day at the new place!

Excellent, did you manage to download the book before my host went down again? I have written an email of complaint to them so hopefully it goes up soon.

Sarebare, just wanted to let you know that I had my ultrasound this morning & everything is right on track & looking great & I am having a girl. I wanted to wish you and yours (and all the other ladies here) a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! And Lots of Luck on your quit dates!!

Congrats on the girl, that is what I am hoping for but as long as it is healthy I will take anything. I find out tomorrow. Merry Christmas to you to and stop in anytime. I was going to quit today by reading the book last night but I fell asleep, it feels like i have 1st trimester fatigue all over again, I have been falling asleep on sofas and in cars and at my boyfriends work in the back laying across 2 chairs with my legs on the table, its a good thing his dad thinks its funny. Anyway i might go have a smoke, I might be quitting sooner than I think ;) Oh yeah if you want that book just email me cuz that site is having so many troubles I am about to find a new host if they dont pull up their socks, my email is sarah at sarah-hall.biz changing the at to the symbol. stupid site not allowing email addresses

Hi everyone, I decided to bring the thread back up to the surface. How's everyone doing? I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Mine was good, but we're very busy now with the move. The countdown is on with my quit date being this Sunday. It seems I've been smoking more and more to make up for it. I went from about 5-6 a day back up to about 10 a day. So, I'm hoping that this move into a new place will knock the urges away. Hopefully I'll be so busy unpacking and getting settled I won't think about it? I hope, I hope, I hope....happy holidays to everyone and check in if you can!!!

Hi babymakes5, all is good here in Oz, I nearly had my winter Christmas being the coldest Chrissy in 25 years but it was about 17c so not a Canadian Chrissy by any standards. I was going to quit yesterday but I decided to wait until my boyfriend quits on Jan 1st that way there is no temptation at all. Did you manage to get that book I had on my webpage for download? I plan on reading it twice on New Years Eve just to cement it into my head, I really don't need the stress of quitting smoking on top of the stress of having to see specialists for the baby. I guess I never checked in after my ultrasound with so much to do before Chrissy. I am expecting a little boy and we have named him Noah Michael, in the ultrasound they found he has clubfoot and now we have to see a specialist to determine if there is anything else as clubfoot is a chromasonal problem so if there is one there is usually others which means I am likely to need an amino and i don't really like the risk since I am a negative blood type and once my blood mixes with Noahs it is likely to think Noah is a virus and try to kill him so I have a whole load of stuff to look forward to. I won't be using my stress as a cop out for not quitting smoking though. How is everyone else doing? Any more quit dates?

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for showing me I'm not alone. I quit with my first pregnancy, but this time I'm just really struggling with it, and some people know how to make you feel horrible for it! Anyways, I'm happy I'm not alone!!