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Be honest ALWAYS!!! Do notEVER decieve him to justifyyour needs - that is a sure way to end your relationship. Give him time and talk to him - explain to him all the reasons why you want his child and LISTEN to when he explains his reasons not to. If you can't come up with a compromise counseling would be the next step. If after that - that does not work - you might want to re-evaluate your relationship with him. But to get pregnant out of some trick of deception - there is no lower low. You would be no better then snail spit and TOTALLY unworthy of being a parent!

"snail spit"? Woe! When did I say anything about tricking or deceiving him? I wanted some "guys" insight!

All I meant was were aren't likely to be one of those many (if not most) parents who get pregnant without intending to. We are aware of my fertility and timing and everything. I wasn't talking about 'deseit' or wanting your sharp-tongued comments!------------------------Anyone been through this type of situation and have good advise? Any guys have some insight for me to were my DH might be coming from?

Sorry - Anon, I just got finished reading about this one lady who "tricked" her husband and he is going thru TONS of emotional problems and is deeply hurt by what his wife did to him. He is talking crazy and is so depressed - he is seeing a counselor about it all, but geez! It was aweful. When I read your post, I read too much into the "Legitamate oops" part and I apologize. I do stick by the honestly and listening to him and getting him to open up to you. If all else fails, try counseling. Again, I apologize...

I have close friends who are in a reverse situation - he wants kids, she doesn't. They have been married for years, he is now 36 and she is nearer to 40. He still looks so longingly at children whenever we (the group) are out that I feel deeply sorry for him, that he will never know the joy of parenthood. He loves her, and she him, and he accepted her decision not to have a child, and by all accounts they have a full life with lots of 'toys' - vacations, motorcycles, trips, etc... but you can see the want in him in how he is always seeking out the babies in our group... I have 3 and one on the way, and he is very envious of our little herd of monsters:)! So I would say my advice is to make sure you are willling to live without babies, and if not, you seriously need to consider whether to continue your marriage to someone who doesn't share your same life goals.... this may not be critical now, but as you age and the reality of no children in your life hits you, will you be accepting of that? Does he EVER want children, or is he just asking for some more time to know you better and enjoy moments with just you before starting a family? These are base desires, and both you and your husband need to agree on if and when of the baby question... best of luck to you.

Anon did you and your husband talk about having kids before you got married? I mean if he was so dead set against it and you really wanted to have kids and knew this then why would you marry him? I am not in any way trying to be mean to you I know feelings change and maybe you thought his would.... I wish you luck maybe in a few years he will want kids if he really really does not and you really really do then maybe you should think about what you want more to be his wife or to have kids there are plenty of other men out there good luck.....

How about find a guy who want kids??

well..i would take ANN's suggestions. And if nothing works than i think you should look at what is more important in your life...the desire of children or your husband. Dont wait until your too old...cause iam sure that parenting when your 40+ isnt the same. Your at a perfect age to have a child. Just talk it over with him. I know my DH only wanted one child....but i convinced him to have a second..by telling him i didnt want an onyl child ....he understood.And now iam at my third pregnancy...LOL i didnt trick him..he saw i was longing for a last and third one. Iam happy that i discussed things with him....and that i didnt trick him into it....i remember i wanted to do this for this third pregnancy and i was about to..pretend like i wasnt in my ovulation time...but before...we started fooling around i told him i needed to be honest and i told him...he loved me very much for it....and he decided that a third one wouldnt be that bad...but that he was having a vasectomy after ...regardless LOL LOL i dont blame him LOL...so just go and talk to him ....tell him what you are feeling and that he he dosent ...never want children...then you may have to consider the relationship. good luck

My sister is in a similar situation. Her husband really wants a baby, but she doesn't. She thought she wanted one, but after I had mine and she saw how much strain pregnancy puts on the body and how children restrict your lifestyle, she decided she didn't want any. So her husband comes over and plays with my kids, and I feel sad for him, but if my sister really doesn't want a baby, I don't think she would be a good parent. I think eventually her marriage will end, because of how much her husband wants a baby.

You both need to sit down and work out your differences. Im sure there are things you dont want but go with it so maybe he needs to understand your needs, You both need to be able to see eye to eye or it may not work out just right.

I am going through a similar situation as well. I moved and was disowned by my family years ago to be with my husband and now that we're married I really want to start our own little family. Before we got married he was talking like he wanted children soon and now he's completely against even discussing children. I say give him time. He might come around. If not you might have to do what all the other ladies are suggesting (and I know you don't want to hear it because I am facing this decision as well)...how long are you willing to hold on and wait and hope.. and what is more important to you. Can you be completely happy with your husband in 10-20 years without children? Take your time and think about it. Take him places where you can bring him around children more and more to see if that helps... I am taking him to the ultimate "kiddie" place next month (Disney) and if this doesn't help.. I don't know what to do. Good luck.

I don't know how much Disneyland would help...most men who don't want kids want to be the kid instead, in your affections. I could tell when my husband wanted a baby because he started filling up the house with too much furniture and bringing home a lot of pets...I guess he was trying to fill an empty space in our marriage. It's strange when you finally have a baby, it feels like you're playing parents together for a while...hard to describe until you've been through it yourself.