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Tell your bf he should not have knocked some girl up!

To "I have advice...." I am NOT going to tell my bf that. You do not know him, nor his whole situation, there for what you have said was just RUDE! I came on here to see if there were anyone whom has gone through this or a similar situation trying to get advice to help him. You don't like that??? WELL, THEN TOUGH SHIT!

My best advice would be to get a good lawyer. Unfortunately a lot of judges favor the mothers. He needs to get proof of neglect and have her declared unfit if he's to even begin to get custody.

Thanks for your advice Kelly K. The only thing is that a good lawyer around here (where we live) are really expensive, and it's not easy to come by the kind of money to do that. As far as proof of the mother being a lazy bitch and not taking care of the baby, me, my bf, and his family and friends all have a lot of proof, so I don't think that should be too much of a problem. Thanks again for your advice. :)

You know what, I have worked for a lawyer and I can tell you that unfortunately, the courts do favor the mother. I saw a case where a crack head mom got three different chances to straighten up and she never did. I kept wondering why they would give her so many chances. The father did have a crimnal record but he was much more of a stable home for the kids. The courts just thought it would be best to leave the kids with the mom and finally they ended up in foster care. They still didnt award custody to the dad. It would take alot of money for a good lawyer and alot of solid proof. It sucks but I don't think that they will do anything. Sorry.

The courts don't always favor the mother. My friend Erin had been and kinda still is in a custody battle over her 4 year old girl. The courts had favored the father because the mother had diabetes. (sorry if I spelled that wrong)...I thought that was messed, but where I live, it is both parents that get favored, depending on the case. Thanks for your post anyhow.

Oh, I forgot to say this....it is not only that they favor both parents depending on the case, they favor the parent with the more stable home and environment. Not the past records of the mother or father. With Erin's case....her daughter's father, was in the military, and had a relativly clean record. The mother had a lot of horrible past records, but was clean, sober and a pretty good mom. So it does depend on the home and environment.

I know you said you don't want to be called names for dating someone whom is still legally married..... but why date someone with so much fucked up luggage?

To "Oh my gosh" I am not dating someone with a lot of "fucked up luggage". My BF is sweet, honest, kind, caring, a GREAT father, trustworthy, respectful, and so much more! I see not 1 way how he has "fucked up luggage"

Okay, whether money is tight or not, your boyfriend can still find ways to get through this successfully. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and he went through a similar situation. When he was 20 he fell head over heels for this gal named Karen, whom was 3 months younger than him. They got married a year later, and she fell pregnant. After the baby was born, Karen demanded a divorce! I was Matthew's (my husbands) friend long before he met Karen, and was there for him as much as I possibly could be. I did not understand why Karen had wanted a divorce so quickly, and badly! They were married a year, 9 months, and 3 days! His daughter was 2 days old when Karen pleaded that they get a divorce. Mathew tried to work things out, but it was just no use. Every time he tried to patch things up....Karen called the cops and claimed he was forcing her out of her home. Well, after spending 3 weeks in jail for no reason, he filed for divorce without talking to Karen. She never let Mathew see his baby girl, not once. So finally we took the rumers of her being negligent and abusive towards the baby, seriously. We called CPS, and it turns out....a lot of it was TRUE! So Rose Marie went straight to Mathews arms and he cared for her till he had to go to work, then I helped out by taking care of her till he got home. Before I ramble on for too much longer....over all things went well. Mathew got a divorce, and full custody of Rose Marie (that's her full first and middle name). Karen only sees her everynow and then....2 times a month supervised in the CPS place. She even tried to yell at us one day cause she had nothing to do and wanted the baby. So it has been a little hecktick. Anyhow. Good luck to your boyfriend. Stay by his side and you never know....you could get married a few years after all this shit, and have babies together!

To whom posted last....Thanks for your advice, and sharing your experience. I dunno if me and my boyfriend will ever get married, but chances are high on that. I love him, and we get along so well. I will let you know what happens, if he does get his son or not. Most likely he will.

I suggest that he file for custody first of all. Second of all it won't be easy, especially if he has gone to jail. I don't know the whole situation so I am not going to sit here and call you or him names. I wish you and him the best of luck. I am sure some day soon, he will at least get to see his son. :)

If you were not the "other woman" in his relationship his babies momma would not have a no contact order on his ass and refusing to let him see his son! Leave him! Then he might be able to see his son! You filthy whore!

Hey "Maybe" I don't know what the hell crawled up your ass....but I am NOT the other women. My bf's soon to be EX wife, has refused to talk to him or anyone in his family since very early January of this year. This whole situation has been hell on him, his family, and my family. My grandma and I are very worried about his son. Mainly cause the mother of my bfs son (his soon to be EX - wife) is not a very reliable person. I don't trust her with that baby, ( I myself have not seen him since he was 9 months, and he is now 20 months, I still call him a baby because of this.) My bf has not seen him since before Christmas, like I have said before. In fact the other day me, my bf, my dad, and my best friend went to Wal-Mart (my bfs mom works there) we talked to her and she was really pissed. We found the answer why before we went into the store. My bf's "wife" was their with her parents and their son. We saw their crappy car sitting in the parking lot. What was really sad about the whole thing, is that my bf was not even able to see his son, and his son was there! He is not allowed within 500 feet of his "wife" because she is a bitch, and has not lifted the no contact order...still claims that my bf (I have not been saying his, or my names, for certain reasons, my bf does not want me to mention his name, he does know I am on here with this thread though, and glad I am trying to help) is trying to hurt her and harrass her and the baby. (She also claims that his mom harrasses her, her parents, and the baby, in the store because when they were to walk near her, she would ask to see her grandson, they of course refused to let her see him.) I cry a lot for my bf, and his family. They love his son, and miss him dearly! I am not a strong christian, and my bf is not christian, so I do not pray too much for them, though I do. I am going to go. I hope those whom do read this, read the WHOLE thing before jumping to rediculous conclusions like "maybe" had done. Thank you for any of your advice, that was positive (like not calling me names and crap). Okay....my last thing I have to say (for this post) is if you don't have anything to say with a civil tongue, then just don't say a darn thing at all....I don't need it.

This is not to judge you at all- but one thing I will say is be very careful because if she wants she can get him in deep shit for being with you- it is actually adultury (sp?) I understand that they are seperated and I am not judging you for being with him, i see no problem with it, but the courts will see it a different way, and make the situation soooo much worse. best of luck!

To lilmama, I know what you are saying.... my friend Erin went through the same thing, cause both her, and her babies dad were with another person. I didn't see that affect them....but I dunno. I know that they consider him even DATING another women as adultry...but at least he is not sleeping around like his "wife" is....she had a whole bag full (probably 75 or more) full of condoms before she last shoved my bf into the jail.....when he got out....there were only like 10 left....and there were several messages on the machine and lying around the house of guys (1 of them someone he considered a friend) saying like...."so (her name) when are you coming back over? I miss you" stuff like that. So if anyone were to get into trouble...it should be her....cause she is the one that actually is having sex with multiple partners...and cheating. Yeah my bf and I are dating, yeah he is still married to her legally....but were not sleeping together, and he has not tried to sleep with or date multiple people since they broke up....he is only dating me, so there for if anyone should be bashed for adulty it's his slut for a wife. Sorry...but that whole thing pisses me off...I used to be friends with his wife...but I simply don't like her, or her parents, or the way she treats my bf and his family and their son.