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KA Vs NY

5 posts on this thread and the last post was on January 6th, 2007 8:02 PM
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LittleOne2006 - October 21st, 2006 12:08 AM
 [Original Post]

Im 9months pregnant, married getting a divorce, and 19years old. The babys father is not my husband, but thats not the reason Im getting a divorce. (Pos husband moved out of our apartment, and in with girlfriend. Honestly best thing that could have happened) The babys father, who doesnt live in the same state as me, doesnt want anything to do with the baby. I was going to move with him, but my doctor didnt want me to fly at the time. I had my bags packed and really wanted to go but he swears up and down that I didnt. I loved him, and still do, and I want him to be apart of the babys life. What can I do to change his mind? Hes 23 years old, in the military, and should be more mature than this but isnt. Ive gone through this whole pregnancy pretty much alone. I dont have a very good support system, and I would like him back. I doubt its possible, but I need to try. I need advice or atleast, words of encouragement.

amandasue - October 23rd, 2006 10:50 AM

I don't really have any words of encouragement for you, sorry. I don't think its a very good idea to "change his mind" though. If he's not willing on his own to accept the responsibility or care for you, you can't make him. Attempting to "make him" do that could result in a worse situation down the road where he resents you and the baby for it. Thats a crappy situation. Sorry I don't have anything truely inspiring to offer. If you've gone through the majority of this pregnancy on your own, take pride in that!! Definately not something I could do! Good luck.

cdmama - October 25th, 2006 4:24 AM

If he's in the military, contact his unit commander. It's in the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) that he HAS to financially support his children. However, you'll have to have a blood test done to prove that your husband is not the father, and the father will probably get into a lot of trouble (possibly including jail time) as adultery is a huge crime in the military.

Tapanga - November 17th, 2006 10:09 AM

You will find someone else I'm sure, it sounds like you've had a few relationships in the past, there's no reason why you won't have more in the future. Try to stay positive and make sure you look after yourself, a good mom makes time for herself too. I found my husband with a one year old under my belt! It's pretty common, and I'm sure there is someone out there for you!!!


surfergirl602 - January 6th, 2007 7:59 PM

well, speaking as a military wife, you cnnot legally move in with the father that is in the military unless he buys/rents off of base/post. Also, you will get no medical benefits and cannot deliver at the military hospital. Also, it is not safe for you and the baby to fly after 7 months. I live on a military post in NY. And just because he's 23 and in ht emilitary doesn't mean that he has to be mature. I know A LOT of men that are way older and just as immature, one being my husband. :)

surfergirl602 - January 6th, 2007 8:02 PM

my hubby works for JAG. he's courtmartialed a lot of soldiers who have committed adultery. It's one of the crimes that has a harsher penalty than being caught with drugs, actually. But you haven't said if the father is married or not, so I don't know if that even applies to you or not. Also, DON'T contact his CO. It's one of the worst things you can do... try to work it out with him first.