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I wanted to reply, just so you would know someone is sympathizing with you.....I just don't have any advice! Not being involved in the situation, it's easy for me to say, you don't need her, you deserve better, and just let her go be an the fat man's whore (I say whore, because it sounds like she's getting alot out of him - in exchange for a morebidly obese man getting a pretty girl) - however, I know when you love someone, it's just not that easy. I stayed in a bad relationship forever because I just couldn't let it go. So as far as that - I just hope you can come to the realization sooner than later, that it's best to be rid of her (you have kids, so you will always have to keep in touch, but I think your relationship should be only discussions about the kids, pick ups, drop offs, etc.) Be honest with me here, are you pestering her (in her eyes would she call it pestering) about this new relationship, and constantly telling her the two of you should be together? If so, that may be why she is pulling the child abuse card - just to get at you. I say lay off. Just let it go - if the two of you are meant to be together it will happen. Besides, that bad relationship I was talking about with myself - as soon as I left him alone, he came crawling back, good thing was, by then I had figured out that I was worth so much more). If by chance she doesn't drop the child abuse thing - that's damn serious. You need to talk to some type of authority figure and let them know what's going on - I would also take it upon myself to describe her own erratic behaviour, so that they know ahead of time, how things really are. The law tends to take the side of the mother - unfortunate, because there are some truly awful mom's out there - that's why you should get to them first, so they see you are pulled together, person just taking responsibility and wanting the best for your kids. Okay, I'm rambling - just know that you are not alone, enjoy your kids when you have them, and if you plan on staying in the city you're in - embrace it, go out, meet people, have fun. I do believe in anti-depressants, but in your case, not so much. The thing is this depression isn't coming from nowhere - you've got alot of bad things going on in your life. A pill will help a chemical imbalance - not make bad exes go away. Good luck to you, and I'm here if you need to vent.

*Sorry for all the typos, I'm watching boiling spaghetti pots, and trying to type at the same time.

thanks you for the advice. I know that you are right. I just hope the day that I no longer love her or miss her comes sooner than later.

As for your question, I stopped pestering her weeks ago (before christmas). The real reason for the accusation (at least i hope it is, and this subplot was too long to include in my original post) was because she was three hours late to pick up the kids from me last weekend before calling me and telling me she was out of town and demanding i drive the kids to her late that night (45 min. drive from me), knowing i have work early in the morning and that I'm on sleep meds (no thanks to her). When I refused, she showed up at my house with her boyfriend an hour later demanding that I give her my babyseats so that she and her new beau could take the kids back (she showed up in his car which doesn't have babyseats). I refused to give the seats up, fearing i'd never get them back (she knows I can barely afford anything beyond the child support, rent, car payment, gasoline and food, THOSE SEATS ARE EXPENSIVE!). I had to call the cops who sided with me and made her go back home to get her minivan (which has babyseats). She returned later and picked the kids up.

Next morning, as I went to my car, I found the seats had been ripped out of the backseats and dumped into the frontseats. My mirrors were smashed. I had to call the cops and file a report. Unfortunately, since it happened during the middle of the night and there were no witnesses, i could not press charges.

So i think/hope the accusations of child abuse were just an idle threat to stress me out for her not getting her way last sunday; IT WORKED. But still, i take the threat very seriously. I knew she was capable of crazy behaviour, but this one was a shocker!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and respond.

question even thought you never caught her or anyone in the act you filed a report for the seat thing right? If you called when she wanted them the day before it will be benificial in court to have a report of the damage a day after judges are not stupid and they will put two and two together! I would also report the threats she has made that way if she does try that then you have a record of the threats made and that will be taken into account. May i ask why you were given so little custody in the first case. And can you go back and try for full custody? There are so many factors in it like how many times has she called the police and what does she have on you that is keeping you from taking her to court?
anyways hope it all works out, sounds like the kids are really going through alot.

She sounds like a complete weirdo to me and very selfish. Shes obviously only with this other guy for what he can buy her, not for him, and obviously doesnt worry how it effects the kids to have so many different men. If I were you I'd take her to court for full custody and give them a stable home, I can only say shes unfit to be a parent at this time.

Why do I have the kids for so little time? Well I get them every wednesday night and every other weekend. My lawyer at the time said that is pretty standard visitation. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time because I was spending alot of time at her place anyway.

However, know that things have changed, I do want a 50/50 visitation schedule, where I have them every other week for the entire week. What makes that difficult is that, since they are not of school age, I will need to pay for fulltime daycare, and that is way too expensive. But I'm going to see what I can do!

oh, by the way, nothing came of the accusation. looks like she was just trying to stress me out...

I'm an attorney specializing in fathers rights. I'm also female and pregnant with my DH and my first child. What I would do if I were you is start documenting everything. Everytime you pick up your kids document the date, time, who was present and what was said between you and her, I would even document any phone calls, you can get a cheap phone recorder to record the conversation. Also, if you purchase anything for your kids keep the receipts, if you give her any money try to pay with a money order or check so you have record proving you have given her money and you are providng for those kids. Another thing I would do and I know you're not going to like this is DO NOT GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HER. She is playing games that is not only not fair to you, but most importantly not fair and very unhealthy for those kids. If you document everything you can show a pattern then you can try for either 50/50 or sole custody with visitation going to her. It's not healthy for those kids to see mom bringing men home or going from man to man. Reggie, I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck!!

Omg, that's really horrible. I really hope things get better for you because you sound like a great guy and father...sorry I couldn't give you any advice, I just wanted to let you know you don't deserve to be treated like that. Some women don't realize how lucky they are when they have the father of their babies in their life, there are so many guys out there that just leave when they find out they got a girl pregnant. I wish the best to you.

i think you should move on regaurdless of whether she marries this guy or not. get a lawer and fight these accusations and maybe even try to get full custody, because she doesn't sound stable. this girl has cheated on you too many times, she's not trustworthy and you deserve better. PPD doesn't give you a license to turn into a slut and treat others like garbage.

things have been calm on my end. have not heard a single thing from my ex that even remotely sounds like a threat. Did find out from a friend of hers that has sort of been acting as my spy (she's worried about my ex) that my ex has been cutting herself on the fore arms and on her thighs with a knife. She is definitely not well. Going to keep a close eye on the kids.

My ex's grandmother, her aunt, and my sister are trying to organize an intervention, since they are fed up with not being able to contact her; she doesn't pick up the phone when they call nor does she return their calls. This avoidance by her of her closest relatives has been going on for over 2 months now. I think its a good idea, but I told them that I would not be involved directly and that I should not in anyway be part of the 'talking points' if and when they do this intervention!

I know this is like over a year later but I just wanted to say, is it possible she's on drugs? Because withdrawing from family, and acting as strange as she is I'd say she might be self medicating. Depression can have some effects like that, but I don't think its all that common for women to take it out oln their kids like it seems she is.

Im sorry i have no idea what to say all i no is considering whats going on ur still wnating to be with her says sooo much! we need more men like u in the world. How old r u?

didnt realize teh post was last year lmao