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Ok, this is what I wrote to her in myspace...

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My life is over here in this place. You said you don't love me and to move on with my life and you will move on with yours. I am sorry it had to be this way but now, I must truly move on and forget about you for ever.

I will be moving out of town soon to start a new life. I hope you have a healthy baby.

I now say good bye to you for ever. Remember when I said this chapter is now closed and you said "just for now." Well there are no more chapters in this book, this....is, "the end." Good bye and have a nice life, may god be with you and may you find peace within yourself.

---Rafael

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It may take a while for her to reply but remember, you may not get what you want to hear. If my "ex" really hated me, she would have blocked me in MySpace already but obviously she has not.

When she responds, I'll post the response here. I guarantee you, yours will be better than mine. Well good luck john, I'll keep you posted if anything.

Just to add to that, I know she will get worried. I can get two responses,

1. Don't forget you have a baby and I hope you meet someone who can make you happy.

2. Do what you want and leave me alone. I don't care anymore but just leave me alone ok.

#1 is what you want to hear but note that she will not make herself weak. She directly discourages you by saying to find another person, this is the part were you work against her own words and actually agree with them.

Now if you get #2 --- she is in a bad mood, annoyed and bitchy. Don't reply back and never contact her again, ever. After a couple of weeks, she will begin to wonder if you really left town and might even come to check up on you, make sure you let everyone know of your intentions or she will get upset over this.

For #1 to work against her own words and agree with them, it simply goes like this.

--- "I don't have a baby anymore, you took that away from me remember? And thank you, someone special other than you will enter my life again and she will make me happy, hopefully she will not be like you."

This is a polite response but yet heated. She will want to answer back, the key point is to say everything SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR.

Just say "good bye, for ever." and dont text her any more, dont answer any calls. She will go crazy on you if she really loves you.

man im scared to death to say that... i am so damn afraid if i say that she will say ok and i will never hear from her again. the complete oposite of what i want to happen :(. its just not in me to say goodbye to her yet. everytime i try to eat or relax i get this vision popping up in my head of her and me together. and it makes this pit in my stomache feel like shit and i want to vomit.

we had facebook together but she removed me from her friends of course. and its set to friends only so i cant see anything even if i wanted which of course i do. and if i do post something to her or email her idk what to say without saying goodbye for good.. i cant say im moving because well she knows i cant. and the last thing i want to do is lie to her agian. thats what apparently got me into this mess.

all i want all i pray for and hope for is her back in my life agian to have and to hold. its been like some nightmare i cant wake or force myself awake from. and in my head i see her dating someone else even though i know she isnt. she is close to her mother and sister she wants to spend as much time with them as she can before her mother dies which might be soon with cancer it keeps coming back on her and surgery cant help anymore.

chemo and radiation isnt helping either. so her dating again and leaving her mom alone again isnt something i see her doing anytime soon. i know everything she does she will do as a family. thats how it was with us everytime we went out i always had to take her mom and sister. just because she wants to spend time with them. i am sure that also made her decide to leave me as well but i cant help but wonder why all of a sudden so fast.. and if i am to ever hear from her agian or see her again. this is a part of my life i wish to never happen again.

Well then good luck with what ever decision you choose, again I'll keep you posted on my "ex"s response. I really don't care what she says to be honest with you.

any ideas on what to say that she wont just say alright cya later goodbye and thats it? :( i dont want to loose her for good

Ask her "Can we talk in person? I have something on my mind and I wish to tell you but it must be in person."

She might want to know what it is but insist that you want to talk in person, if she says ok then go and confront her.

But, what exactly are you going to tell her. Don't talk about your relationship or love. Tell her that you really want to be a father and that you want her to have this baby. Tell her that you are willing to be there every step of the way for her and that you will not let her down no matter what happens. Then to make your exit, just let her know you always will love her no matter what happens and that you hope only for the best and just leave, don't look back at her, just leave.

After a while, expect a "text message" from her. You may be surprised at what it may be.

One thing you need to do when you confront her. Remember, she is way stronger than you right now. You must talk to her in a good way and show no signs of sadness or weakness, be careful of how you use body language to communicate, don't make yourself too transparent or she will see right through you.

You think you are ready to talk to her face to face? Before you even start the conversation, ask how she is feeling. Trust me, you don't want to talk to her if she is a bad mood, a persons emotional state affects how they can respond to you.

When we are mad sometimes at the world, we talk about killing ourselves. Sometimes you might even get mad at a friend for something they did but once this heat within you settles down you tell yourself, "wtf? was I thinking."

I know this is true because I got so mad with my mom once, that I said "I hate you" to her. I didn't wanted to talk to anyone for weeks but then after my anger settled down, I realize that what I had done was very wrong, I went and apologized to her.

When someone is stressed, anger is always there waiting to escape and take its claws out at the first person it encounters. Anger and stress can cloud our judgment and make us say or do things we don't want to do and than later on down the road we regret it.

hey tina firstly i want to say i am sorry how things turned out. i always will rmbr the first time we talked, our first date and our first kiss. if i had the chance to do it all over agian i would never lie no matter what it was. i would rather be honest 120% and you be upset than me lie and you hate me over it. i guess i was always trying to make you happy. in fact with disney prices were right and cheap hell yeah i thought i could do it. so i said things were paid. but than the paycuts came around and i got paid half and oh shit now i cant go :(. the house well yeah i did try i filled out credit applications not enough credit for a house hell the paper came back saying denial in less than a week when it said 2 weeks lol. they knew my credit sucked. BUT i tried still i talked my mom into cosigning a loan but i was to proud of myself to tell you hey i needed my mommys help. than my mom got worried about well what if you cant afford it than her credit will go to hell as well. i cant explain everything and i dont want to fight or make you upset or even make it seem like i want you back now.

truth is tina yeah i do care about you still always will. but you want me to move on with my life and forget about you. not easily done but moving on i guess so. i started a new job working where my grandfather is living now so far its alright. i even get to work in the kitchen some. i make sandwhiches and soup lol but hey its cookin. i know its up to you but i want you to have the baby even if you dont want to raise it alone give it to me i will. i can handle it and i can afford it alone if needed. i want my child to have a chance at life even if its just with 1 parent or both. knowing you were pregnant brought me great joy in my heart. thinking of our future as parents. coming home from a long day of work to my 2 ladies or my lady and my boy. i know i was the downfall of this relationship and nothing can fix what i did. but do know i am sorry and i did try. never meant to hurt or mislead you. i still rmbr the time at the beach when i asked you to marry me i was so damn nervous and your sister keep bugging me to ask you.

i want to be there for the doctor visits tina, you may not like me but i deserve to know whats going on. i also am going to get clothes for you when needed and the baby. and not if its i WILL. even if i have to drop it off and leave. not many people made me happy like you did. even though we fought which another thing if i could change starting over yeah i def wouldnt take things to heart and get upset and fight with you. i know you said there is no chance and you dont want to be with me plus you cant do it anymore and its done and to stop. so i will stop. i even have been talking to my mom about moving. she can get an apartment for me she did it before and shes willing to now as long as i pay for it. so i might move out of the city or something away so you can be away from me. i will always be there for my child but you told me there is nothing more with us and never will be. i truly wish it could be different and someday we had a chance again and i could prove to you how things could be different.

but i know you said no and i guess thats the final answer on our future. so all i can say left is i still will be there for you regardless. i will only be gone away. i had to turn to god for some stuff but as well as everything thank you for giving me the chance to be a father and showing me a time that i will never forget. it may be all my fault but damn i still loved you and never wanted to leave you. thank you for everything good and thank you for letting me into your wonderful family. i may have said i didnt like being there alot which is kinda true i would like some time with me and my fiance but i still liked them all. your family welcomed me into there life and your mother is an amazing woman. your sister is...well your sister. your brother has his good times. i wish you well and i hope you find peace within yourself. and may god be with you. this is the post i am thinking of sending her what do you think?

It looks very good but you need to remove the, "lol"s from it and sound serious about what you are talking about. Ah so her name is Tina, the name of my pregnant girl is Maria.

Also, you will really redeem yourself if you talk to her in person, say everything that you talked about here but if you do decide to send this to her make sure you write it in paper and slip it in the mail with her name only on it.

Hand writing is more touching then an electronic message, its more personal and she wont have to sit down and read a computer screen. She can lay on the bed reading this and see that you had time to write this with your own bare hands. This letter she will keep and it will definitely change the way she thinks about you.

so lets say i rewrite this or i tell her this stuff in person.. what do you think would become of all this? and the lols was me trying to make her laugh or something. but knowing her she wouldnt crack a smile.

plus i honest dont know if she will let me see her in person at all.

Well if you can't do it in person, tell her through the phone. Call her, just tell her you have something on your mind.

well i tried to call her but of course she didnt answer.

Ah so sorry man, I forgot to tell you. Don't call her from your cell phone, call her from a payphone, she has your number on her cell and she can choose to answer it or not.

There are some things you can try however...wait a while, like 15 minutes and call her number again but at *67 at the beginning, this will show up as unavailable in her cell phone and she wont have no choice but to pick it up cuz it would be an emergency or someone important.

I just talked to my preggy lady and it didnt go as bad considering how shes been behaving with me, I told her the following,

"Loook, I dont want to talk about us, I want to talk about our baby. Look I now you've been going through a lot of sh*t and you told me you needed to be alone. I am very sorry if I made things worse. I don't want you to be my enemy Maria, I want us to be friends atleast. I want to be there for my baby, every step of the way. I was acting the way I was because I was afraid I was going to loose not only you but my baby and I don't want that to happen, I want to be there when the baby is born"

She said..."okey, I'm watching a movie right now, so we will talk later."

But I am very glad that she didn't answer to me with an attitude when she heard my voice, I told her first if she had a little bit of time to listen to me and she said "okey, talk to me." Thats when I told her everything you read above.

But it looks like she is getting better, she answered with a sweet hello, of course I know she wasn't expecting me but she wasn't rude to me.

See, when you text someone, you can put on any mask you want. Face to face conversation is #1 on the list of communication and second to that is a voice call with the person listening. Third is a voice message.

Why don't you try that john? let it ring until the answering tone kicks in, then leave her a message and this will be better for you because she isn't listening so you can just say what is on your mind but be quick and clear about it.

Oh yeah and I called from a pay phone, it shows her you care. 50 cents wont hurt your pockets, if she asks were you are calling from, tell her ... from a pay phone. She will think about it after the conversation is over and say to herself..."wow, he actually went out to a pay phone and wasted 50 cents just to talk to me."

Well, I've got some C++ programming to do but I'll keep in contact with you john.

i tried calling her she said shes watching a movie and she is going to sleep afterwards we will talk some other time she said..... idk what that means she said watching a movie at home than going to sleep we'lll talk some other time.goodnight she said

Talking about C++ programming and pregnant ladies..the following is suppose to be a joke but you might not get it if you dont know C++

***

class pregnant_lady
{
public:
pregnant_lady();
~pregnant_lady();

int give_birth();
void bitch_mode(bool mode_);
string food_status();
void bitch_at_husband();
void morning_sickness();

protected:
string husband_name;
int number_of_kids;
int belly_size;
int days_to_be_a_bitch;
};

I would write the implementation but that would be comical and uncalled for, not to mention this class lacks several things, LOL.