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My dh said the same thing to me when I was pregnant the first time: "I dodn't think pregnancy is SUCH a fragile thing - all women go through this and have babies without problems!" ...After TREE miscarriages, one sergery on my cervix with diagnosis "cancer",... he doesn't think so anymore... Be cerful, you never know what could happen to you and your wife and your unborn baby! Now we have healthy daughter: Thank God!

P.S. ...Just think what is more important to you?! Talk to your wife and work it out TOGETHER!!! There is no specific advice for your situation, b/c nobody knows you and your wife: you have to talk to each other, this is just a start... what are you going to do till the rest of your life with the woman you cann't understand now?! And Your son or daughter?! ...To have a family is a big, HUGE responsebility: be a Man! We had the same problem on the begining, but now we are very happy (and still working something out: 5 years of our marriage) I hope its help... Good luck to you both!

Thanks everyone for the replies.I read them all yesterday but didnt have a chance to write until now.
To all those having a go at me, try going to work at 8am, doing an 11 hour shift at work and coming home to a pigsty of a house and having to cook dinner. I do this EVERY day. My wife does 3 hours a morning 4 days a week at the local shop, she then comes home and does nothing coz she is too tired. When i get home she is on the sofa watching tv i cook us both dinner and wash up THEN if i have time i do whatever else needs doing.Afer reading what some ppl said i decided to talk to my wife about the situation. She said i didnt understand what its like to be pregnant and that she didnt want to do anything strenous or too tiring that might harm the baby.
To Maria IM NOT A ROBOT i cant do everything and right now I AM doing everything. Call me selfish if you like but i am anything but, I do EVERYTHING for my wife i do EVERYTHING around the house. You sound like a spoilt bitter woman who is obviously used to treating men like a slave. Well sorry to disapoint you but we ARE NOT slaves!! All i ask for from my wife is a little bit of help at least with the dinner or washing up. Ok she is pregnant but i dont think thats too much to ask!!
Im hoping like some of you said that it will get better. If it doesnt then i will again reaccess the situation.
Dont get me wrong im not assuming its easy to carry a child but right now i feel very very tired of doing everything aswell as holding down a job.

well it sounds like your doing alot for her which is good but she could lift a pan with boiled eggs shes taking the piss ime 8 months pregg and have another 2 kids to look after i do all the house work get kids up for school

wish i had a good husband like you

The bottom line is this. This is your and your wife's first baby, so both of you are dealing with a new situation. She is probably overwhelmed and wanting to do everything in her power to protect this baby, even if it seems a bit extreme, keep in mind, she's new at this. A woman's hormones go absolutely nuts early in the pregnancy, and she honestly can't help being worn out, and emotionally up and down from one extreme to the other. Please be patient. I understand that you are frustrated and feel everything is suddenly on your shoulders, but things will get better as the time goes. All of the posters who tell you your wife is taking advantage of you because they work 12 hours a day, care for kids, and lift heavy pots without a problem just isn't fair to your wife. EVERYONE is different, they do not know how SHE feels or what HER body is going through. I would like to recommend a men's forum on yahoo called "expectant and new dads club" you can search and get the proper address. I think you would get a lot of great advice from men who are going through this or have been there. Please keep in mind that you two are a team, and you need to be there for each other. Work together as a team, lift that pot of potatoes for her while she makes another part of the meal. So what if the housework gets behind, your relationship is more important than who hoovers. Best of luck.

That's just it - just me... She isn't doing ANYTHING but lying on the couch. She isn't doing another part of the meal, she isn't doing a thing - I'm surprised she's wiping her butt on her own. I have been through this before with my wife. She got lazier then heck and blamed it on being pregnant. It got to the point all she did was lay on the couch and watch tv as everything else was left for me to do. She said she didn't want to strain herself. Hell, she didn't even change her clothes!! I was supposed to cater to that??? Come on, ladies. I don't think you are being realistic to Martin. I agree with several on here in that you need to take her to the doctor YOURSELF and talk with him and have him SPELL OUT to your wife that no matter what she thinks, the baby isn't going to fall out of her if she gets her ass off the couch. Pregnancy is not that fragile of a thing - I agree with what "Come off it" was saying - about grandparents plopping out kids and working in the fields... Look at other countries and how they view pregnancy... I am betting to are in America and am betting you have a big ass indentation in your couch from her butt. Get the doc on your side and talk to her with him there. Surely she can do SOMETHING other then lay on the couch. Mine was a piece of work. I took her to the doc and he put her in her place. Said she was taking advantage of the situation and said she could cook dinner just fine. She could dress herself just fine. Once another person told her to basically stop acting like a spoiled brat, she snapped out of it and isn't on the couch so much. Sure, she gets tired and stops to rest - that's what she's supposed to do. But to not try?? Come on, ladies - she's being a brat and you know it. Hang in there Martin

Good god some of these replies are pathetic!!!!! All you pregnant women who think you cant do this and that while you are pregnant get off your high horse for christs sake and stop being such wimps!! YOU ARE NOT ILL!! lazing on your arse all day isnt going to help your baby no matter what you might think. Doing things like cooking, lifting a saucepan, cleaning the bathoom etc isnt going to make your baby suddenly disappear or die or whatever you are scared of happening!! A baby is VERY well protected inside you, its not going to drop out if you do a bit of housework or stop resting for more than 5 minutes. Jesus i feel sorry for guys like martin who have to put up with such drama queens, thankgod pregnancy is only 9 months!!!!

exactly just what i think cant lift a pan with boiled eggs lol i do all my hoiuse work get kids up and ready for school do dinner y my partner is at work all day and night but he does help me thow but shes taking the ==== out of him

and ime 8 months pregnant and very heavy and big

B*tching at her and criticizing her and bullying and belittling her into acting any different? NO. It's trying to understand her feelings and concerns and approaching it as her partner with love and kindness. I'm sure if you talked without attacking, you would both soon be working together and doing things together. You are at a point where a little patience can hold your relationship together, and lack of it will drive you two apart. Regardless of what I or anyone else says to you, you should think about the bigger picture and not who is mopping of lifting pots. Go to her appointments with her, talk to the doctor together with your concerns. Maybe all she needs is some reassurance.

her hormones are all over the place and sickness may all play a part but martin u seem very helpfull a bit too helpfull i think dont do too much u will prob end up fainting u poor man

so early on in pregnancy u feel so tired and sick and it does make u feel bad for some women u no i couldent do no housework i felt really terrible even cooking dinner made me feel sick and just understand a little but dont over do it ur self maybe when she gets out the first trimester she will feel much better but i dont understand not being able to lift a pan ime sure shes capable of doing that just try and talk to her and understand her so early in pregnancy ur hormones are all over making u cry and get upset for no reason and she will prob snap at u aswell just remember her hormones and take it easy ur self good luck

DOnt criticize her but I repeat myself when I say go to the doctor with her. I have the opposite problem, my whole family keeps telling me I am not resting enough or I am itting worng or walking wrong. It is very frustrating when it is your first pregancy and you dont really know what is going on with your body. Maybe you could suggest to your wife she come on this site and listen to other womens experiences. that might help her realize she does not need to live in a bubble. I still believe talking to the doc is the best way to go, just show her you love her take an intrest, but also she has to realize that you have3 needs to. I know you are all going to snap at me for saying that but it is true. Even the doctor will tell you that a lot of reltionships need work when the wife is pregnant because the dad is going through things to. It is not all about us. I mean yeah a big part of it is but guess what, it took two people to make that baby and dad has lots of new emotions running through him to. I am not saying she is selfish but it sounds like Martin is paying a lot of attention to her needs and hse does not seem to care about his. I am pregnant so before all of you start yelling about my post, just remember that is you are having a normal healthy rpregnancy, there is no reason you should lay around all day. Plus, it is actually healthier if you get up and do things. Talk to your wife Martin take her to the doctor, show her this site, whatever you need ot do. Just do something becuase this should not have to escalate to a bigger problem. good luck

Tell the lazy woman to get off her bum and stop being a drama queen!!!

If you got time to sit on the forum and complain about this and that you got time to do whatever else..stop whining.