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Hi. Me and my ex girlfriend got together about a year ago, things were amazing at first. We were so heavily in love it would have made you sick. All my friends were shocked when they found out that we have split.
I know we weren't together that long and to some people it may seem as though we rushed things but it seemed so right. We're both at the age where we wanted to be parents and we were both working. So decided to start trying. For the first couple of months things were really good. She was excited i was excited. But we had different worries. She would worry about what the baby had when he (we found out) was born. eg. clothes, buggy. all those which are important admitingly, but I was more concerned about his future, I want his upbringing to be better than mine so got to work on that.
Problem was I lost my job in August, couldnt find another even though i was trying and decided to start my own business. It was being done on a low budget and due to that I knew it was going to take a lot of work to get it up and running in time to be able to support us as a family.
Due to this admittingly I wasnt as loving, as in physically, as what i had been in the beginning. This wasn't intentional, I was desperate to get my business up and running, making money to support us in time for the baby (dec 25th).
Every intention I had was for the good. and I have never stopped loving her. I was applying for jobs too as i can see the importance of a regular income. 2 weeks ago she left me. We have now both moved into different houses. She has informed me that one of the issues is because I wasnt working and she needed the security, which i can understand and that, because I was trying to get the business up and running and not spending as much time with her, she felt left out. I can understand that too.
I have quit the business and started a new job yesterday (so glad). I'm trying to amend things. Show her that I still care and love her, but she refuses to see me and wont answer my calls. Her family are doing the right thing by helping her, I get that. But, it seems to me as though i'm powerless in trying to get back with her and have the family I wanted. She has told me that she needs to get her new house up and running ready for the baby before she can even think about me and her getting back together. I don't know what to do. I seem to be pushed into the background, powerless and am being told that my surname will not be on the certificate and that i cannot be in the delivery room.
All of a sudden, its all ended. There seems to be nothing I can do. She tells me she still loves me. But not willing to work on our problems. I've asked if she wants to see a relationship counceller but again says until the baby is ok she doesnt want to think about me and her getting back together. And has told me she isnt promising we will at all anyway.
I was never abusive to her, never mean, dilliberatley. Always loved her and thought that because of our individual plans of long term and short term worries. we would be sorted. My only crime is not showing her i love her in the traditional way, like we were in the beginning. I tried to show her by setting up the company, which i've quit (thought that was for the best) and if it worked i could show her the traditional way forever. Now I have a new job, moved into a new house and myside is back on track. But she's got her head in the notion that she wont talk to me until she has sorted her and the baby. any advice.
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