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ok you or your wife is a liar she would not be getting a pap at 7 months prego they only do that at the beginning of the pregnancy.....and no he would not have done that with out a female nurse in the room as well there are very strict laws about that sort of thing these days and the doctor forgot to get the sample whatever I really do not think you are being honest I think your some kind of jelouse jerk that can't stand the thought of another man seeing your wife's privates and that is just dumb grow up really there is NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT A PAP TEST!! Gosh if your wife had any sense at all she would leave you before you go O.J on her and the doc!!!!!!

Hmm..even if my partner was having his balls examined by an attractive female Dr, as if that Dr is going to try anything or she is any threat to your relationship... for one she would loose her entire career, and besides, if you do not trust your partner then why are you together??? There will always be someone more attractive than you in life, but dont go wasting your time getting all jealous and torn up about it. Your partner is here with YOU loving YOU. No1 can tear true love apart, and no partner would ever stray if their heart is 100% towards you and your future. As for your wife being examined, it is purely medical. The Dr's are there helping you and your wife and making sure everything is going okay within the pregnancy and to ensure the health and well being of your baby and your wife. They are doing their job. :) Dont stress, she loves YOU!

If you guys haven't noticed, this guy said that he is trying to get over it and that he needs our prayers. We don't need to be getting down on him. He said that he would quit writing if someone had a good verse out of the Bible to give him because he looks to it for guidence. He got it and he hasn't written anything else negatively since then. Please just pray for this man and his troubles instead of bringing him down.

yeah I pray his wife gets some brains and leaves him, the guy is nuts.....sorry but it really seems true and if he such a man of God then he would not have been upset in the first place

I feel the same way when somebody examines my boyfriend, I feel like I always need to be there. It's not that I don't trust my boyfriend, because I do definitely. I know how you feel.

Umm sounds to me that you have no internal fortitude,inner-strength. From the way you write I get the feeling that you have little self esteem and are perhaps a bit persecutional paranoid. As one writer here put it "All I see here is me me me me"
I don't know what country you live in but the health system appears to want an overall to give the people some choice, From way you write you sound like you live in some 3rd world dictatorship in the failed communist block. Sorry for the character assassination but hay get a life! I am in the medical profession and I see the human body in all its' splendor and ugliness (both men and women) I can honestly tell you the medicos have no more interest in you and your misses outside that of professional. This will no doubt come as a complete surprise to you but neither you or wife are that special. At least wise, to them. As a person in this field I can tell you that yes we care, yes we are compassionate, yes we want the very best for the people under our care and yes we can have empathy . But at the end of the day it's a job.I also found some of the procedures you described interesting with regards to child birth eg I can't remember the last time I saw pubic hair shaved for child birth. Anyway that aside you ask "who will scrub her undress her (wont she be able to undress herself?)"...who will insert the cathador?" (why would she have one of these to give birth even a 'C-section' ?) " You can be sure of one thing , who ever is doing these procedures they will do it professionally, and perhaps when their shift is done they may play a round of golf or go home and play with their own children WITHOUT GIVING YOU AND YOURS A SECOND THOUGHT. Please get some counseling. Regards Keith dad of 2 Adelaide South Australia

Umm sounds to me that you have no internal fortitude, inner-strength. From the way you write I get the feeling that you have little self esteem and are perhaps a bit persecutional paranoid. As one writer here put it "All I see here is me me me me…………….."
I don't know what country you live in but the health system appears to want an overall to give the people some choice. From the way you write you make it sound like you live in some 3rd world dictatorship in the failed communist block. Sorry for the character assassination but, hay get a life! I am in the medical profession and I see the human body in all its' splendour and ugliness (both men and women) I can honestly tell you the medicos have no interest in you or your misses outside that of a professional medical perspective . This will no doubt come as a complete surprise to you but neither you nor wife are that special, at least wise to medicos. As a person in this field I can tell you that yes we care, yes we are compassionate, yes we want the very best for the people under our care and yes we can have empathy. But at the end of the day it's a job. I also found some of the procedures you described interesting with regards to child birth eg I can't remember the last time I saw pubic hair shaved for child birth. Anyway that aside you ask "who will scrub her undress her (wont she be able to undress herself?)"...who will insert the cathador?" (Why would she have one of these to give birth even a 'C-section’?) You can be sure of one thing , who ever is doing these procedures they will do it professionally, and perhaps when their shift is done they may play a round of golf or go home and play with their own children WITHOUT GIVING YOU AND YOURS A SECOND THOUGHT. Please get some counselling. Regards Keith dad of 2;Adelaide South Australia

My advise is to seek the help of a psychiatrist. Period.

hello, yes and thank all of you for your replies. i have done a little more digging, and found that there is a unique term for what i am experiencing, it is called "gymnophobia" or fear of nudity. the symptoms that were described were exactly the same as i feel, the anxiety, rapid heart beat, dizziness, sick at stomach, and anger. i am looking for information on the treatment, but so far have only turned up a lot of "infomercial" type of websites. anyway, i just thought it was interesting that an actual term exists and that there is nothing real unique about the way i feel. as i said, i just want it to go away.

For your piece of mind, be w/ your wife everytime she'll have her pre-natal check up. I used to think the same way b4, I want all my doctors to be all female specially for my OB. But then I realized, it doesnt really matter. As long as they are there to help you specially in case of emergency, who Am I to choose? Doctors are doctors regardless of sex and religion. They are here to help and save life. God Bless you and your family....

maria mia, thank you, however, the time it hurts me most is the observation of it. i have been to some prenatal check-ups, and the result is always the same as far as the feelings go. i suppose it is more the "casual office visit" that seems to hit me the worst, because in reality, if my wifes life was truly at stake i think i could get over it, but in the atmosphere of a 'casual exam' is where i really fall apart at. the other day i had to take my wife to the ER because her stomach was hurting and she thought she may be having contractions, i was ok all the way up there and in the parking lot, where my wife said she thought it might be false labor, or the braxton hicks contractions. any way they all subsided by the time we got there, and she had a lot of 'gas' and passed it(shew!) and felt better. anyway my mother in law and her aunt arrived there with 2 of her cousins thinking it was the real thing, we were just about to leave when her mother and aunt started to convince her to go in and "get checked' , me knowing that the ER doc was a man, i started to have an attack and tried to get my wife privately so i could talk to her, but they kept on and on talking to her , finaally i had to leave the vehicle and go grab a coke to chill out. they won over and she checked in to the ER, by then i was upset but maintained my composure, anyway, the male doc didnt even wind up examining her, they hooked her up to the contaction monitor, the nurse(female) checked for dialation) and that was about it. we went home three hours later with the knowledge our first guess was right.(since we have had 3 previous we knew we could have false alarms)so i had panicked for no reason that time, but it also let me know that i have made little progress in supressing these emotions. i can control my actions, but i cant control the way i feel. and keith, i know that to a doctor there is nothing unique, but to me it is. the breif encounters we have are unique and memorable to us more so than you. its like if you order food somewhere they could forget about your order, but i bet you wont forget! also, i reckon this condition the same as some one who is afraid of heights, or snakes, or spiders. does anyone say that they need to grow up for their disability? i also would like to add that i hate tomatoes. i think they look like a very attractive food, good color, but each time i try to eat one i immediately spit it out. no matter how much i have tried to eat one, i cant. for no logical reason other than i just dont like them, i may not ever enjoy eating a tomato, is that somehow unreasonable? also some people would prefer when recieving a haircut to have Mary instead of Bill. is that also immature or unreasonable?

Im trying to understand how you feel. I even ask my husband about it. I had a lot of pelvic exams in the ER recently and my husband was always w/ me. The 1st pelvic exam that I had was done by a female dr (that was when we found out that our baby died inside me). The 2nd & the 3rd was done by male dr's (2 diff situations & diff ER's). But I tell you, nothing is different in the procedure. A nurse was always present, they will tell me what they are gonna do (like inserting the speculum w/ some lubricants on it), blah-blah-blah, then they will use their fingers to feel my cervix, & thats it. Done! And you know what, my 2nd trip to the ER, the pelvic exam I had even took a little bit long bcuz I was bleeding so heavy & the ER dr tried his best to get some of the clots inside me. Now, Im saying all of these to you bcuz believe me... there's nothing wrong having a pelvic exams w/ a male dr. I felt it. There's "nothing" into it. They are just doing their job. As I've said, I ask my husband about it bcuz he also experienced seeing me having those exams and he said "they are doctors, thats what they do!" I think its just all in your mind. Try to weigh things out, anyway what they are doing makes a lot of sense right? They're just doing their job. And besides, they will not gonna do that if its not really necessary (like what happened when you & your wife went to ER).

I dont think your more stressed out then your wife.. LOL im a girl and my bf doesnt like the male doctors. But you have to do what you have to do to keep your baby healthy!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck

Dear mrpanicatm
Dear friend you wrote “….. also let me know that i have made little progress in suppressing these emotions…..” I disagree for when you state “….was upset but maintained my composure…” it appears that you have made some major steps forward and more power to you for that. Also you wrote “…..unique term for what I am experiencing, it is called ‘gymnophobia’….” acknowledging that, perhaps, you may have a ’phobia’ ergo the your thoughts may be irrational is a tremendous and exciting step for you in developing better copeing mechanisms ( although, reading your first post, I am not sure that “Gymnopobia” fits the bill here. But hay I am not a psychologist)
You stated “I can control my I actions, but I cant control the way I feel.” But you can change the way you feel, give yourself a “paradigm shift”. eg in the past you may have had a belief (a feeling of distrust), say about, a particular race of people, and one day someone of that race moved next door and you discovered that you had a lot in common and become very good friends. You realise your old beliefs where unfounded and irrational so you changed your beliefs, the way you feel, you PARADIGM about people of this race. You can do the same (but only you can do it for you) about your fears and anxieties. We all have a set of experiences, beliefs and values that affect the way you perceive reality and respond to that perception. A paradigm shift is a change in how we go about organising and understanding reality. Because one person’s reality may not be that of another, the fears and anxieties you described in your posts are your reality. I hate beetroot ( I think it tastes like soil) but I would not stop anyone else eating it, you dislike tomatoes and I bet you wouldn’t try to control anyone else by stopping them enjoying one. But are you not trying to impose your reality (or fears) on your wife. By the way did you go through this with your other children? Once again more power to you for the big leaps you have taken Warm regards Keith dad of 2

Dear friend you wrote “….. also let me know that i have made little progress in suppressing these emotions…..” I disagree for when you state “….was upset but maintained my composure…” it appears that you have made some major steps forward and more power to you for that. Also you wrote “…..unique term for what I am experiencing, it is called ‘gymnophobia’….” acknowledging that, perhaps, you may have a ’phobia’ ergo the your thoughts may be irrational is a tremendous and exciting step for you in developing better copeing mechanisms ( although, reading your first post, I am not sure that “Gymnopobia” fits the bill here. But hay I am not a psychologist)
You stated “I can control my I actions, but I cant control the way I feel.” But you can change the way you feel, give yourself a “paradigm shift”. eg in the past you may have had a belief (a feeling of distrust), say about, a particular race of people, and one day someone of that race moved next door and you discovered that you had a lot in common and become very good friends. You realise your old beliefs where unfounded and irrational so you changed your beliefs, the way you feel, you PARADIGM about people of this race. You can do the same (but only you can do it for you) about your fears and anxieties. We all have a set of experiences, beliefs and values that affect the way you perceive reality and respond to that perception. A paradigm shift is a change in how we go about organising and understanding reality. Because one person’s reality may not be that of another, the fears and anxieties you described in your posts are your reality. I hate beetroot ( I think it tastes like soil) but I would not stop anyone else eating it, you dislike tomatoes and I bet you wouldn’t try to control anyone else by stopping them enjoying one. But are you not trying to impose your reality (or fears) on your wife. By the way did you go through this with your other children? Once again more power to you for the big leaps you have taken Warm regards Keith dad of 2

i can see how you are upset with your current situation. although i am unsure of weather or not you and your wife will be accepted as a new patient or if your insurance will cover it you should try and find a mid-wife. i am thinking that if you talk to the midwife herself she may understand why you need to change doctors so late in the pregnancy. Also I believe that there are legal steps you can take against that male doctor.there are alot of doctors offices out there that will not allow a male doc to examine a woman without a nurse present. and finally the nerves about who is going to see her while she is giving birth is something you just have to deal with. she will be mostly covered for a c-section but there will be people there to take care of the baby while the doctor is taking care of your wife but rest assured they will be more attentive to the baby that your wife they have to run test and make sure the baby is healthy it should all work out in your favor and if it doesnt i hope you make it through Good luck