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Honestly , I think that a ton of these comments that you have received are particularly RUDE. No one comes to this site to be ridiculed and judged, so you people that throw in your two cents, need to take a look at yourself instead of judging other people. The guy is looking for advice, not your bitchy comments. Anyways, to the guy, I understand you feeling this way. In fact, I know quite a few guys that feel the same way. So you aren't alone. However, being a girl, that is 36 weeks pregnant, pap tests in the beginning are no fun, nothing sexual goes thru the mind. lol... in fact you just really want it to be over with. I wouldn't ever go to a man anyway, b/c that would just make it even more uncomfortable. I did have a med student (guy) that came in to one of my exams, and it was humiliating. But it is there job, and they see so much of it, that they really dont even think twice about it.... just try to relax and stay with your wife through it all, and try to focus on the baby and not what you have to go through before hand... For the future I just recommend getting a female ob and making it clear you want her everytime. Hope you can find some peace of mind about this.. but you arent the only guy who feels this way, its really normal.

Mr Panic, I can sort of understand how you feel although I think you just need to remember why you are at the doctors. You and your wife love each other so much that you have made a beautiful baby together. All the doctor genuinely wants to do is help your wife deliver a nice healthy baby. He has trained for years, gained knowledge and experience in his field so please let him do his job properly. Your job is to hold her hand and show her EVERYTHING (including you) is ok and the baby. You could even be putting suspicious thoughts in her head regarding her doctor, who is just doing his job. Im a Christian too, and I agree with the comments so far regarding the bible. All biblical babies would have been delivered by someone else, and lets face it, when shes in labour, you'll let any doctor get it out!!

Dude are you by chance Islamic? Islamic men are the only kinds of men I have ever met (I am an RN) who are uncomfortable with their wives being examined by male medical professionals. If you are Islamic, you can site your religion as a reason to chance physicians and they would have to respect your wishes. Either that or ensure you are present as your wife's chaperone during any exam so she and you both feel more at ease.

I can understand why you would switch doctors after a situation like that w/ ur second child. BY LAW they are required to have a nurse or an aide in the room w/ them. It doesn't matter if the doctor is male or female, there HAS TO BE TWO people in there.

AS far as you having to stop making love to your wife b/c the thought haunt you... I dont mean to be rude at all, but I REALLY think this need to be addressed by a councelor. I personally don't think men should be OB/GYN's... just because they have NO idea what it feels like to be a woman... and will NEVER experience it. My OB is a man, and he is wonderful... I asked him one time why he was in the profession he is in, and he said that he loves babies, and loved seeing the excitement on new parents faces, and he thought that would be a good profession, b/c he could see the joy of the parents everytime he lay a new born in their arms. MOST obgyns have clean minds, and are not perverts. Your doctor (maybe not that one particular one) is only there to ensure a safe pregnancy for your wife, and baby. I don't know you, or anything about you. I don't want to pass judgement and say that you seem very insecure, but that is how you have come across. Best Wishes

Hi there, i use to feelsorta the same as you, except i am the wife. My husband has no problem with my having a male doctor, but before i use to feel wierd having another man touching me, however i got over it, because, believe me it is not pleasurable in anyway, and the Doctor's are nothing but professional, and see so many vagina's that i sure they all look the same. Also the only reason your wife is going to the dr. is to make sure the child you guys have created together-out of love- is healthy. Have you told your wife how you feel? How does she feel about this? I do think if you talked to someone about this or even talk to your wife bout it, you may feel better, and get over this.

The information posted by Mrsshelton217 is incorrect. It is not a law that a chaperone be present during an exam. They are only required if the patient requests one. Most providers have a chaperone present to reduce their liability because it only takes one accusation to potentially ruin a practice. We had a male L&D RN working in our dept and extensive research was done to determine what steps needed to be taken regarding a chaperone. It was discovered that one is only required if it is requested by the patient. That chaperone can then range from her spouse to another nurse (male or female), etc. The chaperone must be someone she, the patient, is comfortable with. With regards to male OB/GYNs - I have worked with male physicians that are more sympathetic than some of the female physicians. Based on the comments I have heard some of the female OB/GYNs are less sympathetic because they relate the labor experience of the patient to that of their own. The less pain that they experienced the less pain they actually believe the patient is experiencing and therefore the less aggressive they are with treating the pain. I'm not saying they are all that way but the logic that OB/GYN's shouldn't be males because they will never experience childbirth is illogical. Based on that logic only individuals that have experienced a heart attack can be cardiologists, only individuals that have been in renal failure can be nephrologists, only someone that has experienced some type of neurological deficit can be a neurologist, only an individual that is crazy can become a psychologist, etc. The gender of the physician does not determine their ability to empathize with or treat any type of patient.

hello, please answer me this, if they get into it for the babies, what about guys that are strictly gynos, and not ob,s. also out of all of our births, not one time did the delivering doctor come back to google at the baby, or even ask about the baby, so i think that is hogwash about them wanting to be in on new babies beiong born. and we have cute babies. also , if a man knew most people wouldnt feel comforatable with a guy RN in LD, why would he impose himself on a couple that would resent him? are ther not many areas of medicine?

Most physicians that work as strictly gynecologists have at some point also worked as OB/GYN's. They have just decided to stop doing obstetrical work for various reasons. Some of which, in the US, could be the high cost of liability insurance for obstetricians or all of the call and the crazy hours that they have to work. My OB/GYN is a male and he delivered both of our children. After each birth he came by, looked at, and held the baby. So your generalization is not applicable to all male OB/GYNs. The male L&D nurse that worked in my department was one of the most popular nurses with the patients. They all liked having him as a nurse and some would even request him whenever they came in to deliver their babies. If you are uncomfortable with a male OB/GYN or a male L&D nurse then you need to think about the fact that there are lesbians that may be working in the hospital that you deliver at or the possibility that the female physician or midwife that you see could be a lesbian. There were 2 lesbians that worked in the L&D unit at my hospital. They were some of the nicest nurses and would never do anything inappropriate but they were still lesbians so if you are approaching this from a sexual aspect then you need to evaluate the sexual orientation of everyone that examines your wife. Take a deep breath and relax it will all be OK.

Just because *you* don't feel comfortable with a male Rn in L&D doesn't mean MOST people don't. This being your 4th child you should have recognized your feelings on male doctors after your first and chosen to go with a midwife. This has been brought up before and you don't acknowledge it....why??

Why didn't you just settle the problems in the beginning and choose a female OB/GYN? You've had 2 other children, you know the process, you are aware of your feelings. Thats what I don't understand?

ok, being gay is not the issue. due to the very intimate and indeed graphic nature of these sorts of exams and procedure, why would you be suprized that dad is sitting over there stewing a little or feeling uneasy with another man examining what is supposssed to be exclusivly for him, it is extremely private, how can you be so arrogant to think that just because you have a white coat on that somehow gives you the ability not to become aroused? im sure most male docs and male nurses are sexually active, if they are immune, how do the get aroused at their wives? is it not suprizing that male ob/gyns lends the highest divorce rate among medical proffessions? i wonder how that is so? and i cant believe for one minute that dad is going to be ok with a male nurse shaving his wifes pub's off. at least not from where i am from.

also, my opinion why men get into that field...women and money. its the perfect job. a seamingly endless supply of fresh vaginas and endless supply of money. hard to beat that.

and, maybe i keep posting because some of these new dads are not aware of all the krap they are going to do to their wives/girlfreinds. it would be interesting to see how many men actually know about ALL of the exams,

mrpanicatm*I hear ya. Personally i didnt want a male doc myself. There has been way to many male docs taking advanatge of females and i dont intend to be one of them. I , myself had a c-section and i got my fiance to trim and shave my vaginal area the night before the c-section. which may come to some comfort for yourself, because you can take matters into your own hands. And in my delivery room i didnt have one male in my O R . but thats not likely going to happen for you. Maybe talk to your doctor and ask that the catheter be inserted by a female. But your wife will be naked from the chest down during the procedure. But take comfort knowing your wife obviously isnt tramatised otherwise she wouldnt have had another child. Best of luck =>

AGAIN mr.p....this being your 4th child and knowing you feel the way you do, WHY NOT GO TO A MIDWIFE??????? Babygirl15 his wife already had the baby. not sure where you all live, but they don't shave your pubic area anymore. it's one thing for a woman to decide she doesn't feel comfortable with a male doc but quite another for her husband to dictate. also, please tell what ALL the exams are??? i didn't have an internal until i went into the hospital to give birth.

momo2* Really they dont shave anymore? i had my dd 9 months ago at one of the top hospitals in my country and i definitly was advised before hand that it needed to be done before the O R.