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This is what me and my hubby do and i think it's great. During the week i stay home with the kids while he's at work, when he gets home in the evening we share the responsibility 50/50 (but i get up in the night if i need to because i still have the option of a nap the next day, he doesn't). He only gets one day off a week, so we alternate weekends. One week on 'the day off' he gets up in the night, gets up with our son in the morning, and takes full responsibility for him that day.. The next weekend is my turn. I don't think it's fair to my hubby to make him work all the time and take care of kids whenever he's home.. if it's work for me, it's work for him too right? And he deserves time off just as much as i do. If your hubby is getting two days off a week, you can each have a day every week that is yours to do whatever (like helping his friends, or you can just SLEEP). I hope this helps :)

As soon as I got home from work I was the one who nursed, cuddled, feed and played with my first son. I would get up in the small hours of the night and settle him when needed, despite having a full time job. Why? Because my wife of time (his mother) could not settle him. If she were holding him he would often start to cry she would try to clam him, if he didn’t stop crying she would become frustrated and tense, it is my opinion, our baby son picked up one this ‘tenseness’ which made him tense. He then would cry more which would make her more anxious, this in turn would upset him more, and on it went. I would hold him close to me with his little head tucked the side of neck more often than not cheek to cheek, and talk to him softly (about nothing and everything) or sing to him. Often I would lay flat on back place him on chest and he would soon be off to sleep. (even up to when he was 3 yo he would often crawl on to chest if I was lying down and he would go to sleep). His mother found being a first time mum a bit overwhelming. I could see she needed all the support I could giver her. On the other hand my 2nd child’s mum took it all in her stride (she had 3 kids before) I would have my cuddles etc. and nurse the baby to give her a small rest but it was very much the case with her that if baby cried in the middled of the night she was the one who got up (most of the time, but not always), because, she often stated ‘you had a full day at work you need your sleep’ (bless her). What she did was sleep when the baby slept. This was fine for her some people may find this pattern of sleep difficult. On my days off she would have a child free day(s) (still does and our child is 6 yo now). And I do daddy stuff with him . She gets time just for herself (shopping (for herself) movies, hanging with the girls, whatever) I think mother of my second son and I have the right balance. With my first son’s mother the level of support she needed was perhaps more than most new mums may need. However I think dads should be aware (or made aware) that mum’s need a breather (just as much a he may need a brake from his work) and hopefully give the mother his support (even if it’s a short time) just to give her a rest. OK so he’s been at work all day but this is no reason for him not to be a supporting member of the parenting team or a dad . Best wishes Keith

is this a place for us to feel better about ourselves ? I do what I can and I think 99% of dads do .... not always up to specs but nonetheless they do .

I'm working two full-time jobs so my wife can stay home for a couple of months with the baby. I have some days where I literally get two hours of sleep between shifts. I am lucky if I get to hold the baby at all on those days. On the two days a week when I can sleep longer, I do. My wife gets up with the baby. I'm sure she's tired too, because the baby eats about every three hours, but at least she can nap when the baby does, and not have to worry about wrecking the car falling asleep on the way to work.

I think that if the wife stays home and the husband works than the wife should be the one to get up in the middle of the night. I am going to be a stay at home mom once the baby comes and I would never expect my husband to get up all night when his alarm goes off at 4 am. I know he would do it, but I would never expect it. I will have the option to nap when the baby does, he doesn't and he's working hard to make my staying home possible. I will do whatever it takes to help him out.

I developed a real love for late night sifi while I did the night feed for our first son. It was hard and I did a crap job but did it anyway. That was when I worked from home. With our second son I dont recall getting up. We own our own business and being tired meant we made no money as I couldnt think. My wife however soldiered on and did her job and fed him. props to her.