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hey, we are both okay. todays my BIRTHDAY!! lol happy birthday to me! lol, yeah. i hope i find some new ppl around here, im getting so bored and lonely. but ill survive. i hate being aone for so long cuz then im left alone with my mind-then i start to think into things too much and i hate doing that. i ve been so down the past few days cuz i see ppl with their babies younger then lexi and then get mad at my self(not her at all, cuz i know she has nothing to do with it) well i think i more get jealous that they are doing things i always dreamed of doing with her like seeing her smile and laugh and play adn walk.......i mean please dont get me wrong i am so grateful for our time together and so happy with how amazing shes doing but i feel like she would be happier if she could enjoy more. i guess i feel like she may feel kinda like bored that she cant do much her self. like i said ithink too much into things......but i feel like such a bad mama when i get upset and have tears in my eyes watching other babies smile and play.

I'm glad to hear that your little girl is doing great. I've been reading this thread for quite some time, but have never actually posted. I was just curious as to what your daughters prognosis is now. I know that she has surpassed what the Doctors expectations were, but do they tell you what it will be like for her in the future? Does she have much of a future for her? I dont want to sound ignorant, thats not my intention. I dont want you to answer either, if it causes too much pain for you, to think about it. Will she lead a fairly normal life? Will she have a normal life expectancy? You are very brave, and an excellent mother, to be faced with such grief but still raise and care for your daughter, as if everything is alright. Your little girl must be a strong individual!

Hi dymond, Have you signed Lexi up for the Birth to Three program? Birth to Three program has very good support groups and schooling/therapies for Lexi. You can also attend some of the therapy sections and speak to other parents with children with special needs. If I remember right, the class last for about 2 and hours. Sometime you and Lexi will go on field trips to the zoo and pumpkin patch. Activites you and Lexi can enjoy. Oh, Ball pit...Do you have one? Ball Pit were one of Avery's favorite toys which helped him open up to playing. Also the ball help hold her up and allow her to move a bit. Avery didn't walk until close to 3 so the pit is good for nonmobil kids. You may want to look into a bouncer/infant chair so you can put a toy in her view to play with. V-tech and playschool has some great infant/toddler toys she can play with without worrying about choking hazards. You could also get a 2 hour break on the days you decide not to go to the sections(somethings the therapist like to work with lexi alone) and have time to yourself. Time alone during this trying times will help you relax and get errors done. Dymond, life will get easier and soon you will find a routiue which will work for you and lexi. I am so happy to hear about Lexi and how well you two are doing. I hope your blood pressure will get back to normal if it hasn't already. Hugs to the both of you and God Bless..............Smooches

Happy 19th birthday Dymond!!!!! Happy birthday to you ...you live in a shoe....Ok, I'll stop.....heehee.......Happy Birthday again!!!!

Hey, Happy Birthday Dymond!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!! Got any plans for your special day?? yay your finally 19!!! Good luck!!!!! how are you 2??

i have lots of toys for her, but she doesnt like being bothered much, like i cant put clothes on her or a diaper change or anything of the sort with out her breaking into a scream or two- so its hard to try and get her ot play with me. she is being worked with by early intervention, she has a ot and pt that see her atleast once a week. i am in the process of getting into respice or somethig like that where a nurse will come and care for her for up tto like 20 hours a month while i get to spend time alone or have time to get things done. not that i ahve much trouble getting cleaning and stuff done. the thign that is hard and will kinda stop me from enjoying a class liek that is she still cant hold her head up alone completely. she hates being on her tummy and she still isnt sitting up alone. so anytime i try to get her to play her gets mad cuz i have to make her sit up or something of the sort. she hates so much to be bothered by anyone. i do have a bouncer for her adn shes loved it from day one but she needs me to bounce it cuz the movement of her body alone isnt enough for her to feel it bouncing so she will jus fuss. i keep tons of toys around to try and keep her entertained and she loves ones with ligths. i think mainly cuz she can only make out different shades of light and shadows. i think i did mention b4 that she is partially blind- maybe more. thank you all for oyur wonderful comments and it means alot that i ahve support. i cant tell you how hard it is to take her in public with these ignorant ppl who have the nerve to tell me im a bad mother cuz she isnt at the level she should be at or that she is jsut lazy. soemtimes i hate to even have to go to the store cuz ppl talk trash to me. lexi is doing good though. i am so happy with her strength. and to answer your ?s about her future. they have told me that from the day she passes 2 months it would now be a day to day thing- they have absolutely no clue what to expect with her becuz she continues to improve over tiem instead of going downward like all others ahve in the past. most still try to tell me that she has no real acknowledgement of what goes on around her- that she is unaware of life really. most still think that she isnt familiar with anthing that calms her that its just a by chance thing that she calms down at the moment that i pick her up or that she doesnt know when i exit a room ( which if she is in a room with strangers and i leave she will scream iuntil i come back into that room. never fails- it happens everytime) and they say that she is just crying at that moment and doesnt know the difference if im in the room or not. i think htat may not have made much sense and if it didnt i will explain more- it was along day for me. my birthday gift was laying in a hospital bed all day- i blacked out at lunch with my family. but just as they keep telling me - theres nothing wrong with me and i know there is soemthing going on btu i jsut dont know what so im kinda ugh at the moment, i will be back to talk further. take care all.

where do you live?

Hey Dymond!!, how are you 2?? your very welcome for all the comments and support. (((((hugs))))) to you. i hope they find out why you blacked out. it will be okay. everyone is here for you. ((((((((hugs)))))))) to you. Good luck!!!

i live in florida......manatee county.

I understand Dymond, my son isn't much for playing with toys either. He only loved the musical light up toys. You end up buying tons of toys in hopes your child will take to one of them. She will figure out which toy she like. Lexi will surprise you in due time...... Wow, you live in Flordia. Lucky you!!! I live in boring WI. Its getting cold here and snow will soon make its appearence..... Nasty rude people will get their just deserts. I feel sorry for them. Life must be hard for them that they need to put people down. Try not to take anything those nasty people say to heart. They truly don't know you and can't judge you for what is going on with Lexi. Its no one fault. Never blame yourself and remember Lexi is here for a reason. Judgemental people will only miss out on knowing such a beautiful person. I hope the doctor find out what is going on with your health soon. I'm sorry, I'm in a rush today. I will try to post mopre later or for sure tommorrow. Tons of Hugs and Smooches!!!

Hello Dymond, I am new to this site but had to post. I was very moved by your story. I use to live in Sarasota County and went to church near the county line. Happy birthday to you sweetheart, Do you have any friends or family to help you out. The church we went to was called The Rock of Sarasota. I was akid so I really don't remember anyones names I just remember they were a church that really cared about people and was always willin gto help those in need. God bless you and your little daughter. BLessings to you both

i have family that help with like clothes in stuff like that but none that can help out much with the actual care fo her. shes very picky with who she takes to. i dont have any true friends that have stood by my side through all this. thats why i get so lonely here at home. the friends i ahve live in different states......

Hey dymond and lexie how are you 2?? dymond i am sooooo sorr you dont have any true friends. ((((((Hugs)))) girl it will be alright. how is lexi doing?? did they find out why you blacked out?? ((((((hugs)))))) it will be alright. Good luck!!

You sound like you are very stressed out with a lot of things to think about and take care of. Also, trust your instinct to your daughters reaction to you leaving the room and interaction with her. There must be some connection between you two with all the time and care you are giving. I believe in that.

I'm glad you have support with early intervention. Are you also in school or do you have time for it?

Kate, I made the comment after 4 to 5 comments were made. I don't feel the need to keep explaining myself to someone who is looking to have a disagreement b/c of boredom. Kate, drop the subject already.Its getting old.........Dymond, sorry about the MIA. I have the flu. I will be fine. How are you and Lexi. I hope all is well. Please try not to stress sweety. Take care and tons of Hugs!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Dymond! How are you and precious Lexie doing? We haven't heard from you in a while and I was just wondering how things are going. I am sure you are looking forward to the holidays! Good luck and our prayers are still with you!