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I lost several friends when my dd was born. I realized I don't have much to talk about other than my kid or being a parent and since they can't relate to it they don't want to hear it. Most were supportive at first, cooed at her for a few weeks then wanted to go about with other things. I found it best to let them go. I always want to discuss my daughter all the time so I want to be friends with someone who shares the same interest. I'm closer with the mothers I have met over the last few months than the friends I've had for years.

OMG YES YES YES!! See some of my friends are trying HARD to start families and cant stand to be around us (since I have DD and am pregnant with DD#2) (jealousy thing) so they avoid us, then there are the friends that want to do things that require a babysitter at the last minute which we can't always do...so they offer a few times and disappear, then there are the ones that just don't have any interest in being your friend once yo uhave a child and your convos become DD did this today, or here's a new pic, when their stories are far more different... if that makes sense... I used to party and hang out and had TONS of friends, but partying and such was "the old me" i want to be responsible and "grown up" lol and sadly most of my friends don't so we no longer have anything in common, HOWEVER on the bright side, since having my daughter i have made new friends, with other mommies (which is great to share with ppl going through the same) and people who love kids, and understand just through life... There are mommy and me classes and such where you can meet other mommies, and sometimes you just run into other mommies at stores and hit it off there... (sorry sounds like dating lol) but it happens to everyone, your friends who aren't where you are wont stay as close, and since having kids take up so much time, some people aren't willing to wait around to hang out so they leave too (in my opinion not worth the friendship anyways)

sorry to just ramble on, wanted to let you know it isn't just you .... its just how things are... (lol sometimes i swear my closest friend is my 13 month old daughter followed closely by her daddy)

I certainly did. It's sad cause I didn't have a big circle of friends to start with; I'm more of a loner. But this girl I work with (should say worked since I'm on mat leave now), we use to work together in another city, we both moved to the same city around the same time (we are talking 3 years ago), and you know, the kind of person I would go for coffee with regularly, and to lunch with too. She bought presents for the baby and everything. But ever since I've been gone from the office: nothing, niet, zip. I emailed her once cause I needed her help on applying on a position while on mat leave and she never replied to me. She apparently got a promotion at work and is very busy. Well, aren't we all? I'm just kind of sad about the whole thing and disappointed too. But what can you do about it? Since then, I have strengthened a friendship with another girl I work with and who is also on mat leave. Never thought she would actually become that important to me! I guess that's how life evolves. Sad but true!

it's hard maintaining friendships when the things you had in common change. most of the friends i had pre-baby i speak with only occasionally or only via email/online networking. it's slightly different in my case, though, because my husband and i moved 45 minutes away shortly before getting pregnant, so we'd already started drifting. we're the only one in our group of friends with children and i'm pretty sure no one else is interested at this point in trying. they're mostly the type that party 3-5 nights a week.

if the friendships are important to you, you'll have to work hard to maintain them. and, i know it's hard, because your lo is the center of your world, but try talking about something other than poop, feeding, and other baby things. really try to ask about how your childless friends lives are doing and really listen. if your friends are good ones, they'll try to ask about what's important to you, too. :\

in the end, you also have to realize when there's no going back. sometimes friendships end and it's just a natural thing. people drift apart over time and sometimes it's best to just let it happen and find friends with similar interests.

Yes, it's common, I see now but it was weird and sad when it first started happening,esp since I lost one friend (my best friend although far apart)I'd had for nearly 20 years (I had my son at 39 yo). It turned out ok though because I met a great new friend when we were both PG and now we hang tough and watch eachother's kids once in a while and go to the park and do all that fun baby stuff

Yes, I've lost friends too. One of my best friends in fact. It's funny, some friends stick around and others don't...I guess that's one of the ways you find out who your TRUE friends are. Many of my friends who don't have kids and aren't even married have stuck by me. We still manage to find common ground. But then there are friends who are inflexible and don't want to meet you half way. After the initial sadness I let go of them and moved on. It's a tough lesson learned but on the other hand, I believe it's better to have a few really great friends than a bunch of lousy friends. I was really sad about it when I came to the realization that one of my closest friends backed away from our friendship...but then I got over it...life's too short. So I'm concentrating on making the most of the great friendships I have and I'm working to meet new people. Whether they are Mom's or not, it doesn't really matter to me.