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Probably in a few weeks when he adjusts and is playing there and having fun it'll be easier, but with that said... dh was wanting me to go back to work a few months ago and I was SICK thinking of putting my kids in daycare. Well, we crunched the #s... we have three kids so that would be 2 in daycare and 1 in an after-school program and we realized it would make us either break even or LOSE money for me to work and I was SOOOO relieved. I was actually in a depression while we were deciding... and doing the same thing as you. Picking fights, PLUS I was crying a lot and had this feeling of jealousy and possessiveness- like "no way is someone else going to get to see my kids all day and see them do things first!" I don't think you are overreacting. Feelings are what they are. But, as you said, you have to do it and I think you'll probably start feeling better and better about it as time goes by. Most likely your son will love his daycare and you'll probably find your baby boutique rewarding! (I'm sooo not business-minded, but if I was a baby boutique would be at the top of the list). Well, good luck and hang in there...

I don't think you are over reacting. the same thing is happening to me. In January my maternity leave runs out and I wil have to go back to work. James will be ten months old. It is all I can think about, I am desperate to find a way to be able to stay home. Unfortunately, my husband's entire income is consumed by bills, so whatever I bring in is what we eat and diapers and gas for the car. I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE JAMES!!!!!! I am praying and praying, and playing the lottery when I can afford it... not that that is doing me any good. I don't know what else to do though... it is the only thing I want in this world to be able to stay home with my little man.

Oh yeah, that's the other thing, daycare costs about what I make in a month, so either way we're screwed. DH's parents are both passed, my father is passed, and my mother works full time. My grandparents have already said they don't feel able to watch him for ny extended period of time. So we have no one to baby sit. I don't know what I am going to do... oh my.

i feel exactly the same way as all three of you, there is no way that i can leave my dd is the care of some one else. We do need the two incomes though, so there for i work as a nanny. I get to bring my dd with me to work, that way, no daycare, we get a second income, and I get to raise my dd. Our dd also get to play with other children. I am so sorry that I have no encouraging words that you will feel better, because I don't see how you will - i wouldn't. Is there anyway that you can bring you baby to the store 2-3 days a week and only have you lo in the inhome care 2 days a week? Since it is a baby boutique, it is childfriendly right?!! You can set up a play area where you lo can hang out and you get to play with him too when it is more mellow in the store. The paperwork can be done after your lo is in bed for the night. I am just throughing out ideas now, to give you something to work with. Good luck, i feel for you.

I found a great sitter/ daycare it is someone my dad knows from his church and her husband lived with my dad years ago when he was going through a divorce so I know ds will be safe and loved. Also she only charges three dollars an hour and is the day care person at there church so I know she is wonderful with kids but this is my baby. He is a happy, funny, silly, smart little man who plays great, loves books and to cuddle what if she can't do that? Also I am so worried about his naps getting messed up which throws off his whole night. Augh ok am in tears again- crap how the hell am I going to do this?????????????

sorry for all the misspellings... it sounds like you are taking your ds to a good place, but still i understand your anxiety. how have you worked it out so far? have you worked at the store and where was you lo?

My mom came out for a month to help out.

I know exactly how you feel. I had to do this is April and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. She is with my aunt who I knew was great but I was leaving the love of my life with someone besides me and I didn't think I would ever be able to deal with it. I was also like this is never gonna get better, but it has. I no longer feel awful about her being there and she loves being there to play with the other kids. It is SO hard in the beginning but little by little it does get better.

You are probably not going to like what i have to say but i do think you are over -reacting. 5 days ?? You definantly need some " me-time" to yourself , which is why i think you are feeling this way. Your baby , as well as you, needs time away from you . To learn social skills as well as authority on another level. And i dont mean other family members. You have to remember who you were before you became a mother. You were a person who had relaxation and hobbies, and still do . You also have to remember that you are still a wife. sometimes as mothers we forget to remember that . I am guilty of that too. My ds's spend about 3 hours a day with the nanny, and that is time for me to talk, mingle, and just engorge the time i have to myself. Trust me when i say that your child wishes he could have that too. You will be a better mother and wife if you do. Im so sorry if this sounds too harsh , but you need to cut the umbilical cord, honey, and get out there and have some independence about yourself. I am also a little offended about the remark " somebody else raising my child " You have hurt alot of people's feelings that DO have to work and have no choice. You shouldnt make mom's that try to make a living to support their child . I hope you lighten up a little. It will be okay. Im sure you are an awesome mother, and your child will know who their " role model " is. Im confident mine does.....good luck.

your not overeacting at all,i would feel exactly the same,i think its totally normal what your feeling,u will just adjust to it.the people that are saying its no big deal ,its not a big deal to them but they arent u,dont worry u will adjust and get used to it but i can totally see where ur coming from,good luck,

ash2 i wouldnt want any1 else raising my child either,why would that offend you,

Shelly , 5 hours a day with another person is FAR from raising them. And im sure the other full-time working mom's that try to support their children think that you are just being plain rude. Im sure they do not like to be classified as " bad mothers " which is what the impression i got. and is what you are implying . I raise my children because i am their mother , and just because i have to take mine to a nanny 3 hours a day doesnt mean she is raising them. Maybe you are not confident either on who is the number one role model in their child's life is.

why are u so patronising ash2,u dont know me so please dont judge me and be so prickly,i know who is the role model in my childrens life thank u very much and as u say implying is not the same thing as saying is it ,as u know words are misconstrued on here,u really dont need to jump down my throat for asking u a questions.how can any1 think i am rude because id rather look after my child myself, its my opinion which i am allowed to have ,everyones situation is different ,i have to go back to work next year myself and i am dreading it and id rather not but ive no choice but id still rather not,how is that being rude,i think ur response was a little dramatic,how can i as u say be rude to other mums when i have to go back to work myself next year,what lisa said i dont want somebody else raising my child ,how is that offensive,no one would work unless they had to like u have to and i have to ,really ur response was uncalled for,i asked u a simple question ,u didnt have to speak down to me or to lisa but i dont want to fight over something like this.i wasnt being rude to any1 ,i asked why u were offended.good luck lisa.

when did i ever say i classified and implied that anyone was a bad mother or r u just stirring up trouble,read my post do u see that it says that anywhere .u are unreal u really are.

ash2... you know your own words could be taken as condescending as well if you think about it. Everyone has their own feelings about this- there's no right or wrong. Obviously you've made the right choice for you and your family. I am a sahm... your words "Your baby, as well as you, needs time away from you... to learn social skills as well as authority on another level" could also be taken as offensive by people who don't put their kids in daycare- like they will be socially stunted or something. But, I won't take it that way, because that's your feelings and so that's what's right for your kids. Not everyone feels that way and just because she's saying she's upset about it doesn't mean she's knocking other moms with kids in daycare. I mean, her child WILL be in daycare, so she's not knocking the concept... she's just sad about it. Anyway, as I said, I am a sahm...my kids are not lacking any social skills. I don't think that the only way my kids will learn social skills is to be away from me several hours a day. I take them to Toddler Gym (the younger two.. oldest is in school), church , the park with my friends' kids, etc. and my kids will each go to a year of preschool before kindergarten, which our school district recommends. They have plenty of interaction. I agree with Shelly about if people don't think it's a big deal, it's because it's not to them. Sorry, but I think you are the one overreacting. I seriously don't think she's trying to put down anyone with this thread.

As far as the social skills thing... there's more than one route to that destination.