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I think it's not right because you are the mother and no one should interfere with you disciplining your child. I am so sure your grandparents mean well and adore and love you both there should be boundaires. Good Luck.

can you talk to your grandmother and tell her that it would help if you two were on the same side? it's the same when you live with your fiance. both adults in the house can disagree behind the scenes but the child needs to see that both adults share the same disciplining system and parenting system or it won't work. your baby will always go to his grandmother for sympathy until this gets taken care of. your relationship isn't ruined so don't worry about that but it may take some time to get it back to the way you and your fiance want it if this keeps happening. In order to save yourself the headaches you should be firm with your grandmother and let her know that you are in charge no matter what. And just because you live there doesn't give anyone the right to discipline your child any other way than your way. I know it's easier said than done but I am sure its tougher to see your child criy and run to your grandmother. You have to take control. You are not a bad mom your just in a tough situation and as they get older the problems get bigger so think of this as a small situation that can be easily remedied. good luck.

You need to tell your grandmother that you are his mother. The way you decide to parent your child is your decision wether she agrees with you or not. It makes her a bad grandmother and bad support system to you. She is confusing your child by acting the way she does and underminding you in front of him. Even if she doesn't agree with your parenting skills(which is really non of her business anyway) she should atleast speak with you at the appropriate time instead of saying things in front of YOUR son. I don't blame you for wanting to get out of there. The worst thing she could be doing is exactly what she is doing right now. Good Luck and let us know how everything turns out. I hope you're getting out of there soon.

Thank you girls so very much for your advice. It really really made me feel better. The thing I forgot to mention is...I have already talked with my grandmother AND grandfather about this. I brought up that the reason I don't want them to pick my son up after I say no is because they did it to me and I manipulated my mother and father as a result of them teaching it to ME...isn't that funny? They didn't listen to me though, they both still don't back me up in my teachings. I just don't want my son to think he can manipulate people because I regret learning this at such a young age. I've already talked it over with my fiance' as well and he backs me up when I tell my son no and he runs to his dad. My fiance' agrees that my grandparents shouldn't be doing this to our son. We're moving the first week of August thankfully, I'm hoping I can re-kindle my son and I's relationship. Thanks again for everything girls, you brought up my spirits!

I'm about to have my first baby (41 weeks), & I'm afraid I'm in a similar situation as you. Also a long story of why we (my partner & I) are temporarily living with his parents, especially pathetic since I'm 30 & he's 27. I'm truly hoping that we can move somewhere else before they can have any sort of actual influence on him. I do not agree with their principles on basically anything, including raising children. They like to think they're not meddlers, but that's a joke. Anyway, it's your child... and you ought to make that clear. I know I'm going to... even at the risk of hurt feelings. It's more important that we get to raise our child the way we are going to... even if that means making mistakes along the way. They're our mistakes to make, just as your grandparents, I'm sure, made their own mistakes in raising their children. No one's perfect.

Oh, I think perhaps the problem might be that you talked to them about it. If they didn't get it through talking, demand it. Okay, so you're living under their roof. But they aren't going to throw you out on the street for being assertive... even to the point of being b|tchy about it.

hi brittany, i went through a similar situation when my daughter was about 8 months until she was 15 months. i lived with my in-laws while my hubby was in iraq. they kept undermining me and letting her do whatever she wanted and made me feel like a horrible mother. i tried talking to them aout it, like adults, but that didn't help. then one night when my daughter was 14 months old, she was cranky and didn't want to go to bed...and when i left the room my MIL went in there and started rocking her to sleep... something i did not want her to get used to because i knew we'd be having another baby and i didn't want to have to break her of the habit. well, i just lost it. i went off on my MIL and told her that she had her chance to raise her kids and that Rylee is my daughter, and i will raise her however I damn well please and if she didn't like it I would gladly move and she could come all the way to texas (we were in washington at the time) if she ever wanted to try to change the way i raise her. that really got her thinking. she rarely ever second guessed anything i did after that. :) even if you are not in the position to threaten moving, it might just take you losing your temper one time to make them see what they are doing. hope it all works out for you!!

I dont agree with the grandparents consoling your son when u try to redirect his behaviour but the only thing i want to say is i am not a big believer in parents just saying no no no all the time.... Kids dont know what u are on about, they do require explanations, its hot, its danger, it will break... They get to know what you mean and what u are saying by your tone alone... My friends told my daughter who is 11 mths old the word no as she crawled towards the tv, i think its stupid as she has no idea ... at that age u get up and move them, u also baby proof the house as much as possible so you dont have to be constantly saying the word no when they need positive encouragement too....... she dropped my drink tonight, i left it on the table, i am not gonna yell out no when its my fault, thats the point im trying to make.... speak to your grandparents and try talking to your son even small sentences instead of just the word no which he would be frustrated hearing i dont doubt... Please dont take this the wrong way, just a suggestion.........

To hello, I understand what you mean about the no no no thing. I DO explain to my son why I said no and why he shouldn't be doing whatever he is doing. My parents always told me no and I never understood why on some things so yes, I explain why I say no...I also learned that from super nanny haha. Thanks again to everyone for all the advice, I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way!

hello... i completely agree with you too. even at 8 months old i would explain to my daughter why it wasn't ok to do certain things, like try to stick a penny in the electrical outlet! people must have thought i was nuts. lol. but i believe if you start early like that, it opens up a great line of communication between you and your kids. i also like to pick my battles. for instance, when she draws on the wall with crayon... i could yell at her and tell her she's being bad. but instead i tell her, "rylee, that is not paper. you can only draw on paper." and i get two wash cloths, and she helps me clean it off. her being two and half now..she really gets things like that.

hi britt and melissa, britt i didn't want it to come across the wrong way when i made my comment and im glad it didn't. I have heard parents sit there yelling out no no no and it gives u a headache and melissa i will be doing the same although my daughter is already a touch full on with her temper tantrums as i dress her..... its gonna be a battle for us all in different ways.. good luck brittany and hope u move out soon, at the end of the day thats all that can fix it if the oldies are pretty set in their ways if u know what i mean. My mom is a little the same with my daughter at times i guess, guess its a grandma thing...........

It MUST be a grandma thing! GRRR haha, thanks to everyone!

I understand that you are his mother, but you should have a friendly talk with the both of them...you have to understand they opened up their home to you and your child, so they could easily say that if you don't like it get out...but I really don't think they will take it that bad if you are nice about it. Your relationship with your son is not ruined, you just need to build a support system.

brit.... i know where you are coming from when my son was a baby (he is now 16y/o) my mother lord bless her soul (she passed away in 2003) she kept my son while i worked (I was a single mom then) she would jump me soon as i walked in the door with "Timmy" did this and he did that and you need to punish him for this and that .....that is bull i just came home from working however many hours and you expect me to start punishing him no way you should have punished him when the act occured .......that was always a big fight between us but she didnt want to be the bad guy and wanted 'Timmy" to always look to her as fun granny and all ...........................but lord i wish i had her here now to see my 6 month old baby girl