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A routine is based on your child's needs and not your own. Sleep is top priority. Lack of sleep or insufficient sleep can affect everything in your baby's life. Another important things is teaching your child to self-soothe. What your friend is doing is awesome and thats how your life will become if you choose to use a routine. It's not for everyone so you have to make sure you are 100% dedicated before you start a routine. If you aren't then you will only confuse your baby more. Both my boys have been on a routine since they were 5-7 weeks old. They don't need me or any kind of prop to go to sleep. I am not saying its going to be easy...in fact it will be very difficult especially since there has been absolutely no routine in her life at all. Does she have a bedtime routine? Anyways, the first thing I would do is buy or go to your local library for the book "The Baby Whisperer" (3rd Ed). It was the best purchase I ever made when ds1 was about 1 month old and refused to nap all day long. I have used it over and over for reference and tips. Reading or skimming the book will give you a good place to start, but I was briefly touch on some things you will need to do now. STOP BF her to sleep. I know it's easy and convenient, but unless you want to carry on doing it for another 6 months and deal with sleep issues well into her 2nd-3rd year, you have to teach her the fine quality of self-soothing. Use the Pick up/Put down method (PU/PD) instead. Try to get her on a feeding schedule...at 6 months she should be able to go 4hrs between feeds. At 6 months she should be napping 2-3x a day. It would be a total of about 3.4 hrs a day. My 7 month old naps at about 8:30am for 1.5 hrs, noon for 1.5-2hrs, and then has a catnap at about 4pm for 45min-1hr. He is up at about 7am and in bed by about 7pm. Keep in mind a routine is no set in stone. It helps stabilize your baby in her surroundings. As crazy as it may sound babies appreciate routine because they know what is going to come next. Everything is roughly at the same time but it's not the end of the world if she sleeps in till 8am instead of 7am. Just alter the routine for the day around that. If you have any more questions feel free to ask.

BTW when your baby is well-rested she will be happier...another good book is "Healthy sleep habits, happy child"

Hey Stefkay! I think our lttle ones are just a week or so apart! I too am in the same boat. Jess has always nursed to sleep at night on my lap on her boppy, and I used to be able to just transfer her to to her bassinet and she would sleep through most of the night, but we took a trip about two months ago, where she was forced to sleep with me all night and since then we have had real troubles. As soon as I put her in her bassinet she is good for about a half hour then has a meltdown. I usually would take her out and nurse her back to sleep, but I got thinking that that is going to make matters worse in the long run. So I have tried soothing her to sleep, tried strokiing her face, holding her hand, repetedly putting her soother back in her mouth....ahhhhh. Nothing was working. So tonight I was kinda at my wits end and I ended up just laying her in her bassinet and letting her cry it out. I went to the living room where I could hear her and cried myself. I kept sneeking to the doorway and checking her, and after about 45min she went to sleep. It was terrible, but I just didnt know what else to do. She sleeps good during the day for naps, although she sleeps in her swing which I am sure is going to be another huge hurdle to get over when she is too beig for it and needs to nap in her crib - so I know she can fall asleep on her own. I just dont think she wants to at night. Maybe part of it is that when she does wake up around 4am or 5 to nurse, I nurse her in bed and we both fall asleep there and I let her sleep with me the next few hours. Maybe I am creating the bad habits for her. I too am a first timer and this sleep thing has me stumped. She slept like a little champ when she was little and now that she doesnt I dont really know what to do.

Ok, sorry I ended up onmy own rant and didnt answer your post at all!! As for the nap time schedualing. I too dont schedual my day around her naps. My dh works away from home for months at a time and so it is just me home with her and we live out in the country,s o I haul her around with me everywhere we need to go .She sleeps really well in the car and when we are doing errands, so it has never really been a problem. I just find it too hard to sceduale everything around her naps as she naps at all hours of the day and is not constitant at all really. I think it is a "whatever works for you guys is best" situaltion. I wish these little angels came with a manual!! lol!

softbreeze, omg I could have taken your 2 posts and put my name on them! It seems we are nearly in identical situations! I work from home and her dad is away from home during the days (and some evenings) so her and i just do everything together and she normally just sleeps when she sleeps (on errands, at home, out to lunch or dinner, etc.) In fact she is awesome at restaurants as we've taken her everywhere with us since day 1. I've got a weird evening schedule too that is really important and I often take my dd with me. We sometimes don't get home until after 8 or even 9. I am trying to rearrange that, but it's tough. She did so well with everything up until about a couple of weeks ago (about the 6 month point) and now I KNOW she is overtired. The resisting sleep, not napping much and waking all night seems to be classic signs of it. Did the CIO that one night fix your situation? Let me know how it went. I think I can do it if I check on her every 5 minutes, but really what freaked me out is reading this no cry sleep book and it made CIO sound barbaric. Just the way the author put it it sounded awful (even though I know almost every friend of mine has done it and their kids are fine!!!)....

Lol Stefkay!! I would say the same thing about all your posts!! Seems like I wrote them!! You know after letting her CIO the other night, the last few nights have been better. The frist one after, she cried again, but I just couldnt leave the room, so I layed on the bed and hung my head over into her bassinet where she could see me and know that Iw as there with her and again just kept putting her soother back in her mouth and stroked her face until she settled and went to sleep. Then tonight, I got her in there when she was still awake again and she fussed for a few minutes, and I did the same thing and out she went. She woke up about a half hour later and I thought oh great here we go again, it didnt help anything, but I went in and just sat her up in the bassinett, but didnt pick her up and she let our a couple good burps and so then I layed her back down and sat with her a few minutes and she was back out and has been now for about a hour. So I am thinking that the one night of terrible crying may have done its part and helped. I am just not sure if I could do it again and leave her alone. I hate the thought that she maybe felt that I have abandonded her, so maybe just stay in the room with her if that is easier on you. On one hand I dont know if it is better for them not to see you so it doesnt constantly remind them what it is that they want - YOU. Or for them to see you. I have no iea!!! I dont think that the CIO method is barbaric, but it def. sucks!! It must be so scary for them now at this age where maybe part of the problem is that they are old enough to realize that they are alone in their bed and that they feel insecure, but maybe better to get tehm used to being able to sleep independantly now when they wont remember this time as much as they will as they get older. I dont know, I am just spouting off ideas!! Let me know how you two make out. :)

hey guys- just a thought on the CIO - which it isn't actually all that barbaric in most cases. :) I read in the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book that they learn that you'll come to them in "5 minutes" or whatever amount of time you allow yourself to wait. They learn that crying gets them what they want. The book also said that nap times are different than "bedtime". You can go to them during nap time but if they start crying at bedtime that you should just let them cry. I can't remember why the difference now but I do remember that. With my dd I had a harder time with naps once I got her sleeping at night. She would just throw a fit and sometimes miss her nap. The most important thing I learned was that they HAVE to be on some sort of schedule or get so many hours of sleep each day - and that's different for each kid, somewhat. Sorry if I sound like a broken record stefkay -since I've already mentioned a lot of this to you. And I don't want you guys to think I'm a jerky mom that is forcing CIO on ya - I know some people hate that method and I totally understand not wanting to do it - I'm just saying it works, but that if you find another method GREAT. :) I don't want to be picked on because I think it works. :) I'm not judging! I do have to agree with DDT on the feeding/sleeping schedule - it really is important but it doesn't work perfectly for everyone. It's hard to have nap schedules that interfere with life - I was just getting used to the afternoon nap my dd was taking and then I had my son who threw us back into 2-3 naps a day. It's hard to get anything done outside of the house. :) I rush around trying to get everything done in the short time I have nap free - but enjoy it because pretty soon they will be little monsters if they don't get enough sleep and they will be running around telling you NO and getting into trouble. haha..
Oh, softbreeze - my dd slept in her swing a lot early on because of her reflux and it was HELL getting her to sleep in bed - but we managed. Anything you can do early on to get them to sleep when and where you want them to is important because it IS a habit that you will have to break later. :) Good luck!!!

fefer, no worries on the CIO thing! I'm not trying to knock anyone that does it because most people do! I just was saying that what I read in this book I'm reading painted it as barbaric. Like what the author wrote literally made me want to cry. It's not that i'm saying it is...I know that every proponent of each school of thought on sleeping paints theirs as the best and the other's as the worst, lol. In fact I'm open to the CIO , just would want to check on her every so often . Are you saying that the book you mentioned says that checking on them every 5 mins. is not good? Does it advocate just letting them cry and not checking on them until they fall asleep? I was suggestted this book by another friend and wanted to know what it suggests before buying it. I am thinking that doing something that takes only a couple of nights is probably easier on us all inthe long run so who knows. I'm so tired right now anything sounds good ;) Ok, sorry I went back and reread that part of your post and I see it says to let them cry at bedtime. I'm going to get her into more of a schedule or try to and then see how that goes first. I know there are a lot of things I'm not doing right in that area. Thank you so much for your help, I'll keep you posted on how it goes!!!

HEy ladies! Well, the CIO method seems to have worked for us here so far. Each night has been a bit better and less fuss time before she goes to sleep on her own - IN HER OWN BED!!! whhooo hoo!! :) I have been trying to establish a bedtime routine and giving her a bit of cereal about a half hour before bed too. Tonight I layed her down and she fussed for a quick few minutes and then went to sleep. Ahhhhhhh....!! The past few nights as soon as I put her in there its like she gets ticked that its bedtime, then settles. Then she closes her eyes and is still and then its almost like she gets mad that the sleep thing is not working right away and fusses again! I have to try not to laugh watching her!! But so far it has worked. SHe still wakes up more at night but that we can work on. How is it going at your end Stefkay?? When is your dd's birthday?? I remember reading your posts on the July Mommies board all last year. Jess ended up beinga July baby too. SHe was born on the 23rd. Fefer thanks for your advice as well! Any input is so appreciated at this end!! :)

Hey, well last night was much like the others, but in my stupor I started trying to do things differently. When she woke crying one time I got up and did not get her out immediately, I turned on her aquarium and then leaned into her crib and shushed her and rubbed her head. I gave her her pacifier and she would not take it until she'd calmed down. She stared at the aquarium and got quiet again so I laid back down. After it stopped playing she fussed for a bit but went back to sleep. That was only one time, but if I can do that for each waking I think she may get better. I don't try very hard at doing some things I could do to help her go back to sleep w/o nursing b/c I'm so tired. I think one thing right now holding me back from either CIO or trying to cut out the night feedings totally is that I'm not 100% sure that she is NOT hungry, you know? Her weight went up at her last appt. but not like it normally did. She fell from the 50th to the 25th percentile and only weighs just at 15 lbs for over 6 months old. Yesterday she did not eat much at all, but it is hard to tell with a b/f baby because you can't see and they get much more efficient at sucking it out. Everytime I go to nurse in the day she is distracted or falls asleep. I feel like she hardly ate at all and she is only just starting solids so they are not doing much nutritionally for her right now, just more for the taste and experience. I am afraid that she really is hungry and is trying to make up for missing calories during the day. I am going to do my best to get as much in her as I can during the day now too and see if that helps. Just want to exhaust all avenues first, LOL.

15 lbs sounds good for 6 months old, how much was she to begin with? breastfed babies gain slower.my dd was 18 lbs 5 oz i think at her 6 months but she was born very big. 9 lbs 13 oz. plus at first i supplemented her with formula the first couple months so she probably gained more then a normally breastfed baby would have.

Hi stefkay. This post kind of directed to over night sleeping, so I hope you don't mind if I answer your original question... I breastfed my dd until she was 6.5 months old and she ate every 2 hours. When I fed her she'd fall asleep and I'd just let her sleep in my arms. I know it's really hard not to, but you're not supposed to do that haha. They say you're supposed to keep waking them up until they are full, then let them take a nap or play if they'd like. But anyways... I didn't start to take a bit of control until I weaned her to formula (so this is going to be a little harder for you since babies are so comforted by their mother's breast) When I saw that she was getting drowsy with a bottle in her mouth, I'd give her a toy or take her outside to play. I kept her distracted while feeding her so she wouldn't fall asleep so easily. Of course, eventually there was a point where she could no longer keep her eyes open. Since she was so tired she didn't wake up when I moved her into her crib. (However if your dd is not sleeping in her crib at night, you need to solve that problem first. What worked for me is putting a very, very soft, thick blanket in her crib that I had slept with the night before to get my scent on it. The first several nights were rough but she got used to it) I let her decide when she wanted her naps to be and really just went with her flow. Now she has a regular nap time schedule, two naps a day for about 2.5 hours each.
Also, when I first weaned her and when I was breastfeeding I didn't work around her schedule because she really didn't have one. She never slept anywhere other than my arms and it was like 15 minutes every two hours throughout the day. But yes once she got on a schedule I started to move things around and plan things around her times. Anything I want to do with her can wait two hours no problem. If it can't wait, I'll ask someone to baby sit for a while.
Hope that helps!