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cate? Can you update us???

cate's post is from january 2005 - she's likely not on this board anymore.

Thanks

Jeanette84- My husband and I have a long, long past. I feel sorry for the man, for he does not understand why I can't forget the past and move on. When I was prego with my son we were really young. We were forced to marry, and it wasn't good. I went through everything alone, and was sent into labor early w/all the shit he put me through. My son and I almost died at this hospital, od'd and sent to the nearest ICU. He went to the hospital with us, but left me alone in the room the entire time until he was ready to leave. My father didn't come to see me, he called and said good bye. Keep in mind, I didn't know I was literally on my death bed at that time, so was confused to why everyone was praying and crying. The doc came in the room, put his hand on my leg, looked at my mother in law and said "There's nothing we can do for mom, but we're pulling for the baby". I asked, "WHAT??!!" The doc was shocked I understood him, and let me in on what was going on. I thought for sure that'd change my husband, that he'd see how fragile life is. But upon returning home (alive, with baby still well in the womb), I kept getting drunk phone calls and had to pick him up from g/f's homes. :( I finally gave up and called a divorce when the drugs came in to play. I told him he had a choice, sex drugs and drinking, or wife and baby.....well, he chose the first one. So for seven years I'd only hear from him once in a while, 'bout every two years, he'd call crying his eyes out saying how sorry he was and he wishes he could change things. I'd ignore the calls, figured it was drunken babble. I was hurt that the only calls ever made were to me, and never his son. My son had countless nights crying, he knew his father had a daughter, and couldn't understand why daddy loved her and not him. That past is a hard past to forgive, let alone forget. Thing is, people are wrong, it's never too late to try..and he got his life half together and started to take interest in not only his son, but me. For months I tried to warn him that one screw up would remind me of the past and send me away, he said he understood....but continues to make me feel alone, again, even after saying that he wants another child. Once we finally did get prego, he said "We can't afford this". :( Broke my heart. For who on earth can REALLY afford a child? Until that child is in the picture, it's never truelly finacially planned for. People always find a way, and we are in no way helpless, he has a good job, and though it might be tight now, our future is set. Bless his heart, our fights can be nasty, and with all this confusion mixed in with hormones, I am not the person he knows. I'm off my wagon, but he stands by me. He wants help for the lack of emotional support. He's been through a lot since our first marriage, and learned to be numb. Atleast he can recognize it, right? I love the man, I've loved him since I was 10 years old, and wont give up on this. People struggle, people hurt, people change, but when you know them for that long, you know if it's real or not in loving them. We have a lifetime to figure this out. The past eight years have literally put us both through hell, if you can survive that, and still love eachother more than ever, I say, that's real. He doesn't understand my pain, and that's fine. Let's face it ladies, men will never truely know what pain is, they don't m/c, they don't carry babies, and they don't go through labor. How could they possibly understand something they will never endure? Anyway, I went to the doc yesterday, we can't explain the reason for the pain. We did ALL the testing, it's not a tubal, it's not an infection, it's not anything that can be explained. I was sent home on bedrest that I can not get up unless to pee. I am not even to shower today. God, 15 days of this, and now I can't even shower (the one time of day I feel better). Today the pain is very, very slight, I actually got sleep and woke up to a painless pee :). Still bleeding, but the doc says he's really not worried. He said bleeding is always a sign of trying to abort, but bleeding this long leaves him to believe that the baby is in a bad place in the uterus and will move when big enough. The u/s is Tues. morning. Wednesday I will learn if there is a heart beat, or baby. If the u/s shows bad news, a D&C will happen on Friday. The doc didn't fit me in next friday b/c he thinks this baby is fine, and that's why I'm bleeding. But, he said if he's wrong, he will fit me in there first thing in the morning b/c this has already gone on for so long. Weird how his opinion went from pessimistic to optomistic. He told me he thinks I'm thinking the worst possible senerio for no reason. He's a straight forward person, so my heart tells me keep my chin up and pray he is right. My hubby keeps rubbin' my belly saying "it's okay, the baby is fine" I really hope they are right. I check my boobs to make sure they are sore everyday, I know it's funny, but the doc says sore breats, hairy belly, peeing a lot, and emotional are the best signs to have for still being prego. So, next week this nightmare will be over. Keep praying ladies, I think it's helping :). Thanks again for being on this site!!

I'm 3w 3d pregnant by my LMP, but I've been spotting for 9 days now. I took a HPT 2w 4d because of the spotting and it came back a quick posiitve. I've taken 2 more with the same result. My Dr. said it was too early for an ultrasound and chose to check my HCG levels and it doesn't look promising. On Monday they were 670 and on Wednesday they dropped to 621. He's scheduling another draw for tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be better, but I don't know. As much as I was preparing myself for the worst, it still hurt when I got the call a little while ago with the numbers. I would tell myself that it isn't a baby yet, but just tissue, but not even trying to think like that helps ease the pain. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks and my second pregnancy produced a beautiful, healthy little girl who will be 2 on Sunday. This is our third pregnancy and hoping for the best, but it looks bleek. Good luck to everyone.

Anxiouslywaiting-----I'm gonna tell you what my doctor told me when I had my miscarriage Jan. 2006.....My doctor told me that alot of women get "pregnant" more than they know in life because the egg gets fertilized "causing HCG to multiply.....then their period comes like normal and the egg moves out the body without most women even knowing that they were even pregnant. Do I make sense. You must have been trying to concieve right, Thats why you took the test sooooo soon and found out that you were pregnant. If you had'nt taken that test you would have thought it was just that time of the month right? Its scary that the numbers went down, when they are supposed to only go up. Its still VERY early........I hope for the best!

Jeanette84 - I wasn't due for my period for another 2 weeks. I am very, very regular and when the spotting started my husband actually told me to try a test and sure enough. We weren't actively trying, but we weren't protecting against it either. I had more blood drawn earlier and we'll have to wait and see what those counts are. I just scared for it to pass naturally. My first miscarriage was terminated with a D&C. My doc says if I experience heavy bleeding, then it's happening, but I'm still just spotting. This is my 11th day of just spotting. Thanks for the info though and I totally understand, but it doesn't make it any easier. : )

Well, my levels went back up to 642, but still not doubling like it should. We have an appointment tomorrow, we'll have to wait and see what the doc says.

Hi ladies. Wow, what a horrible ordeal this has been. AnxiouslyWaiting, I hope you've gone to an u/s, i don't want to see you go through what I went through. So...here's what happened. On the 20th day of bleeding and pain, I was FINALLY in at an u/s. There was nothing seen in the uterus., just a few cysts on the ovaries was all they saw. But my pain was unbearable. I kept telling my doctor the pain was on my left side and shot down my leg. By this time I haven't slept a single night more than a couple of hours. It hurt to walk, to sit, to stand, to do absolutly anything. He said that he ruled an etopic, the hormone count was now over 33000, but not a single piece of tissue in the uterus. By this time I had passed many dark clots and tissue. We were confused to what they were. I should have been 8 weeks at minimun at this time. They saw nothing in the tube, so figured the baby was some-where else. He was going to give me a low dose of a cancer treatment to flush it out, I was to meet him the next day. He said the pain was from cramps and sent me home with pain pills. I tried to argue, this pain was not a cramp! But he said an actual tubal was impossible. That night was horrible. No pain killer could get rid of this pain and I couldn't eat, drink, pee, or poop. My husband finally called our next move and said we were going to the hospital. I told him all the ER does is send me home on stronger pain pills, but I knew this was something bad. So, he talked to his father about taking the day off to find help. His dad said to go to the hospital two hours away. They have experts in ERs and better u/s. When getting there, the ER doc said that my doctor is crazy, that this could not be an etopic b/c I would be dead. Ten minutes later, I was in u/s, the man asked where it hurt, all be damned, I pin pointed the tubal. It was there. I was prepped for surgery and woke up to three holes in my tummy, and pictures of how close I was to dead. Why that tube didn't explode, we don't know, that growth was BIG. My tube was split, lord knows for how long, and that's why I was bleeding and clotting for this long. The treatment my doc was going to give me could have taken my life (I don't blame him, he's a great doc, it's the lack of good u/s here..and the hospital there debated the same treatment, until the head radiologist said no, the tubal was too big and was ripping the tube). After surgery, other than a little chest and shoulder pain, well, and a tender belly, I'm in no pain. Unfortunatly we also discovered I have endometriosis...the probable cause to the tubal. I'm not sure if I'll be able to try this again, but they cleaned off my uterus and patched up the laserations. If there's anything I can pass on from this lesson, it's that we need to put our foot down with doctors.....I could have solved this weeks ago and avoided near death. When you KNOW something is wrong, make sure you stick to your gut feeling and force your way. I probably would not be here today if I didn't drive that 2 hours to argue my pain. To everyone, good luck with your pregnancies! Wish you all the best!

Kara2007, glad to hear everything turned out okay in the end, but that was a very close call. As for me, I'm in no pain, not even cramping for that matter. He did an u/s at 4w4d and couldn't see anything in my uterus. He said there was nothing abnormal, but no signs of a pregnancy either. He thinks it didn't stick and my body flushed it out, but if my HCG levels don't start to go down, then he'll have to do a D&C. I should've gotten the results for Wednesdays draw yesterday, but they never called me back. I'll have to call back as soon as they open this morning. Good luck and I wish you a speedy recovery!!! : )

I didn't know the doctors would do an hCG test on a women. I have been trying to get pregnant for well over a year now, and have even tried clomid. But nothings worked. now I am a week late but all home tests are saying that I am not pregnant. So I was wondering if I could be pregnant and my hCg levels could be low like yours have been. My doctor checked the prgesterone levels on me. They should on you. You should say something to your doctor about it. Keep your hopes up.

Is there a positive way to explain HCG 26 at DPO 19 and 41 at DPO 21? I have started having the symptoms very late. Also, I have miscarried two months ago. US is scheduled for DPO 29. I dont know how worried I should be.

Please someoneenlighten me here...
My pregnancy test came back positive with good levels up until yesterday when I went for my sonogram in which there was no baby visible and secondly my HCG dropped from 523 to about 414 i'm scheduled for a second sono and hcg test but do I have any hope? will my pregnancy progress? i'm very sad

I have had to very normal pregnancies. a 2 1/2 year old and a 16 months old. I missed my period on 1/9/09 and took s HPT the next day (Sat) and it was +. Started spotting then light bleeding on Tues. Then heavier with bright blood Wed. I recently moved to a new town and my regular OB is 6 hours away so I got a recomendation from a friend. Couldn't see me until the 26th. Nurse suggested I got to the ER. Went and HCG level was 89. Low, but there. I have to go back tomorrow for another blood test. This is so freaking nerve racking.

I am so glad I found this thread. My heart goes out to all of you. I am in the same boat. My LMP was 12/9. First positive HPT was 1/11 and second one was 1/22. On 1/28, I had a tiny amount of bleeding. I called my OB and they scheduled me for an U/S and bloodwork that same day. Abdominal U/S was inconclusive so they did a vaginal. Good news is they found a yolk sac as well as a fetal pole - measurements indicated 5w5d gestation... no HB but still could be early. I thought I was two weeks further along but figured maybe I ovulated late. Got the HCG results on 1/29, they were 13,885. Dr. had them repeated on 1/30; results came in yesterday at 15,670 - not the double the dr. would have liked but increasing none the less. Had additional bloodwork done yesterday and just got results - again, not a double but still increasing - I'm at 19,356. Dr. wants me to come in tomorrow and see her. Bleeding has completely stopped - it was just that little bit on 1/28. Went to my OB on 1/29, she did an internal and there was no blood and the cervix was closed. Should I be concerned about the slow rise in the numbers.. I think they are still in line with where they should be considering how far along I am. Any insight would be great - this is my first pregnancy so I don't know what to think.

Hi All, i see that this thread has not been used for some time now, but let me tell you i have read all 21 pages and it has been so comforting to know i am not alone.
my first test was not for preg (even tho i was trying), but that was what showed up and my level was 19, 5 days later is was 351 and the dr thought it ectopic or bad pregnancy, ordered a scan but i couldn't get in for 2.5 weeks, i ended up going to my old dr who ordered another blood test saying he felt the levels were rising fine, i waited in anxiety for the results, and thats when i found this forum and felt so much better. my level came back at 7000 (5weeks 3 days) just 7 days after the 351, so i was very happy with that, i should now be at 6 weeks 2 days, had my scan today and they found a sac and heartbeat it's definately not ectopic, but i am only 5 weeks 4 days today according to the scan... either way i am happy there is a heartbeat, and was not actually expecting to see one this early and especially as it was not internal scan. I just wanted to explain my situation to give anyone who is using this in 2009 a bit of hope that it can get better in a couple of weeks (although i am still very early and hoping it all works out in the end)
I am really wondering if anyone knows what happened to Cate, Tara T, Beth and Bonnie - the girls who started this and joined in the early days??? I can't find anything recent for them and wondered how their pregnancies and TTC went? I really hope they all now have beautiful healthy babies.
The stories on here broke my heart, and i pray that i don't add to the bad stories in the coming weeks. Thank you to all the women who posted on here it has been a godsend to find this forum.