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I feel your pain. My boyfriend is acting the same way. Our son is 2 weeks old and if he does one diaper change he's "Father of the Year", according to him that is. I have 2 other children from a previous relationship (ages 5,6) and he knows how much stress I am under. But for some reason he is very insensitive. And to make matters worse, my grandfather died the day we brought our son home. While I was pregnant he was a little insecure and now it's like the insecurity has tripled. Yesterday he threatened to take our son, and I threatened to cut off his arm if he did(LOL). I don't know if this behavior comes from the change in their(men) life or what. But if the women do all the 3am feedings and diaper changes who's it really affecting?

Amen sisters. My hubby has been hassleling me since I gave birth to have sex- actually just take care of his needs. I'm sorry but having hemmoroids on my ass, stiches down yonder, sore stomach, scabs on my nipples, sore breasts, and getting very little sleep for some strange reason sex has not entered my mind. Also my In-laws who I used to really like come visit every weekend! They are really getting on my nerves. I'm thinking about moving to another country.

I was in a very similiar situation with my husband. Except he was great for the first 2 weeks THEN he became a miserable s.o.b. After that he refused to help at all. He'd get home from work at 2 a.m. and watch movies (usually with a drink in hand) until 5 am when he'd retire to bed for 8 hr.'s of slumber. He refused to quit drinking and even went so far as to say that it only mattered that HE get enough sleep, abd that HE have time to himself! Then he had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't pulling MY weight! He thought having to do anything with the house and the baby was a burden he shouldn't bare. I kicked the lousy jack*** out and my life is better for it.

I'm having the same issue. He goes to work and comes home telling me I don't do anything and that I should do more. Then, he says that taking care of the baby is not difficult, yet he doesn't do any of the work involved in taking care of our baby. He told me one day that it was my job. I couldn't believe he said that. This on top of all of our other problems is about to make me kick him out of my life as well.

I have just had my 4th baby, and my hubby always gets weird after wards.
I think it is partly jealousy (of the baby) and partly because it is a huge change for them too.
Of course there are some asshole men out there who are just down right mean too.
This time has been especially hard for me, as my DD has bad reflux, and is in pain all day, I am frazzled!
Plus I kind of talked him into having this one, as he didn't really want anymore kids, so he is more jealous than normal.

I know this feeling all to well, but i moved out.my husband thinks when he clocks out at work his job is over for the day and that he should be able to do whatever because " All You Do is sit here all day" or " you can sleep whenever you want" those things make me so mad!!!! yes i can sleep for those 15 minutes dd isn't screaming. yes all do is sit here all day chaniging diapers, feeding, washing bottles, washing clothes, cleaning the house. the first weekend when our dd was old enough to go to her granparents house, what did he want to do? not to go do something with me but to go out with his friends. then all he wanted to do was well you know, knowing i couldn't for 6 weeks and even if i could forgive me for not wanting to. if he went through 9 months of what i did he would be scared to ( i developed toximia with DD) besides i went from a six 6-9 to a size 15 now, i have stretch marks down to my knees and i just dont feel the same way about my body as i use to. now since i moved out i thought he would eventually miss me and dd, no he drops in when he wants which is about once a week and to be honest i have to call and harrass him to get him to come see our dd. and all this is from the man people were so shocked by at the hospital because of how he was towards the baby . they actually were calling him a mother hen and now what?? sorry so long but i've been holding that in for a LONG time and once i got started i just couldn't stop.

That is a crappy relationship and it should get fixed or you should leave. I know it would probably be horrible if you left him (thats what they all say) But things will only get worse if he doesn't make an effort to get better. Think about what he could do mentally and physically to you and your son. You have a lot to think about. Good luck.

Hello, Ladies! As much as I hate to admit it, I'm going through a very similar experience. It sounds to me like our men are possibly jealous and/or resentful of us for being able to stay at home and take care of our babies while they have to go to work. I don't think they fully realize or appreciate just how hard it really is for us having to juggle all of the responsibilities that come with taking care of a baby. I'm 4 weeks post partum, so I'm still on maternity leave and am even drawing a normal paycheck, but my husband acts like he's the only one who does anything to contribute toward our household. Since I don't have to get up early and go to work right now, I am taking care of all the late night feedings, but last Friday night the baby was being very fussy and was up half the night until I finally had to break down and wake my husband and ask him if he could take care of her for about 20 minutes or so while I took a few minutes to regroup. I thought it would be okay seeing how it was the weekend and all, but he went completely mental on me, refused to help and then got dressed and threatened to leave at 4:00 in the morning... WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!! Needless to say, I was completely apolled by his behavior and realized right then and there that I was pretty much on my own when it comes to taking care of this baby and if that's going to be the case, then what on earth do I need him for? Seeing how this was a one time occurence, though, I have decided to give him a second chance, but if he ever pulls that type of crap with me again I can assure you that he won't be given a third.

I don't know how old most of your husbands are, but if they're over the age of 17, I'm appalled at behavior that doesn't seem befitting of grown men. Let's remind them...child care costs real dollars...AT LEAST $200 a week (for an infant, if your prices are similar to what they are in my area). Housecleaning? $25 an hour isn't unheard of in my area, too. Meals? Do these guys know how much it costs to eat out? Ask them to add it up, and see what they come up with. If they still feel entitled to take you for granted, perhaps you should say (strictly for the sake of argument, just to get the point across - DON'T really do it!!) that you'll take an $8/hr. job so you can prove your worth by a paycheck...and they can pay the expenses for the other services since they don't consider them "real work". Then let them know, you can come home and relax, since, after all, you've worked hard all day long so why should you have to do anything? Don't get me wrong ladies, I KNOW you work your butts off at home, but some people (especially some men) don't think it's "real work" until they have to pay for it, or do it themselves, that is.

i was watching a show the other day that said if a stay at home mom was paid for all she does she would make 135,000 a year. Wow!!! i wish. i have gotten back with my husband since the last post because as i say he "tricked" me. he was so nice taking care of baby etc. now he's back on second shift 2 to 1 with an hour drive each way also. so its really 1 to 2 that i am at home with baby alone. now we are having the same problems again. and yes my husband is over 17 he's 26 almost 27. i found out while we were separated. when he was so busy working he was out goofing off most the time i know this because our phones are in my name and i pulled the bill and called the numbers i didn't know back( extreme i know) and plus the other day the recieved a three day layoff for missing so much work and this is why he was bumped to second shift. DOES THIS EVER GET ANY BETTER.

I am so glad I found you guys to vent to! Men are idiots! That's all I can say. I am 20 weeks pregnant with our second child and my husband is an ASS! (and it's not hormones talking) We talked about having another baby (our son is 8...turning 9 2 months after this one is born) and now that I am pg, it's what I wanted (so he says). All I am hearing is that I wanted this one and that he "gave in to me". Um, I really don't think I did this alone! Now we are in the midst of buying a house that HE wants and will be stuck with 2 mortgages until ours sells. I've been so stressed dealing with all of the house bs and feeling alone yet again with this pregnancy, that I really can't stand him at all right now! He changed after our son was born, and things between us were the best they ever were recently, but I did not do this alone, nor should I feel as though Im doing this alone! Im so sorry that my first post here is so long! But my take right now is that men are jerks! Id really like to see them do what we do if only for a week. They'd never make it past the 10th hour!

oh wow I am really glad I checked here let me start off by saying I have 3 kids the first 2 are with my ex husband he was an awful husband but a great father to our sons when they were little he helped me out alot was not afraid to anything from the time they were born ect well I get remarried and I have been with my husband now for 6yrs and we have been married for 3yrs he had no children so we he wanted one so I said ok even though I am 35yrs old my youngest was 7yrs thought I was done with having kids but I felt is was important to him so I agreed now we have a wonderful baby boy 4 months old now well my husband has not helped hardly at all he has never once in 4 months ever said to me oh I get up with the baby tonight and mind you I work outside the home full time my mom thankfully takes care of my baby but I have to get up early to drop him off and then go back home get myself and younger son ready for work/school but my husband has never even offered to get up with the baby thank God he is a great baby and sleeps mostly thru the night but like on the weekends you would think he would atleast let me sleep in one morning hell I would be happy for one morning a month but no and if I ask him to get up and feed him he will be bitches so much about it I completly woken up and cant go back to sleep he is a jerk and sometimes I want to kick him in his ass but oh well thanks I feel much better now!!

Having had three children - I can only say that he's jealous you get to bond with this baby all day. It is not the magical happily ever after story we're fed is it? It will get better. Perhaps let him know how you feel and let him also know you are a ball of hormones - it is worth it..