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I can understand where you are coimg from, my SIL and I DO NOT get along, she and I have not been on speaking terms for years now, but my husband wants me to make ammends, I don't want her involved with our new baby... she has had some pretty mean and cutting things to say and I have no use for her. It is probably a good thing to talk to your SIL, but if you feel extremley uncomfortable letting her be too involved then don't let her be.

Tell her exactly why you won't let her hold him. Perhaps she doesn't want anything to do with him, which will make your life easietr. And cut that b***h out of your life.

have you thought that she might be jealous, some women suddenly find that in a new relationship that they would like another baby even if they or their partner have been steralized, it can make them very broody and some times a bit resentful of anyone who is pregnant. you could try talking to her about how she did things with her two when they were small and see if she has any advice, you don't have to take it but it might help.

Hi Amya,
I feel for you....honestly I do. BUT I don't think you should keep her from holding the baby. Life is too short to have bad feelings between families. It will cause such a big stir and it's really not worth it. If you be the better, more mature person and just act like nothing is happening then in the end- you will feel better about yourself. You are probably emotional because you are pregnant too- I'm not denying your feelings or anything like that but I guess what I"m saying is that your family will ALWAYS be in your life in some way or another...and if you actually fall out with her it will ALWAYS be a stress to YOU as well as her....trust me- you don't want that especially with a newborn baby to look after. It's probably not about you at all, perhaps she is jealous, perhaps she's just like that.....but it soulds like it could be MUCH worse, it's not like she's going behind your back and doing things to ruin your life, you are just not seeing eye to eye at this point in your lives but everyone goes through things at different times, she's not just going to 'go away'......so I say sure let her have a hold, it's not going to harm your baby in any way and I really think you'll feel better about yourself for being the mature one. Maybe things will change after you have the baby- you never know. It's best to keep your options open though rather than shutting the door to her completely, as I said....life is too short.