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r1209-I have not had a csection but I think what you are feeling is very very normal. Also your hormones are still out of whack, give yourself time to come to peace with this and know that you did everything you could to deliver vaginally and it is NOT your fault. For what it is worth, with my first so I delivered vaginally and still felt the way you do - that I failed miserably because I screamed and couldn't tolerate the pain and in the end my son nearly died because the cord was around his neck and he couldn't breath - I felt like that was my fault! I felt like I failed because couldn't really "push" him out, the situation became so dire that the dr pretty much ripped him out of me, so I felt like I never delivered him "myself". I guess my point is that, vaginal deliveries are not all they are cracked up to be, and many women still feel they "Fail" at the whole process. The important part is, you have a beautiful healthy baby to hold and love, and that is all you should focus on now. *hugs* to you! :)

MNMOM: I'm sorry that your delivery was rough. It is good to know that other people feel down about their deliveries too whether it be vaginal or c-section. Thank you for making me feel better! :-)

Also, I know how you feel about the screaming and stuff... Every push I would let out a little yell cause of the pain and my nurse pretty much laughed at me and told me that she delivered 3 kids without pain medicine and didn't make any noise. I kinda find that hard to believe though... :-/

If the baby wasn't coming down after 3 hours of pushing, there's nothing you could do about it. If anything, I think the nurses were just waiting for you to say that you were ready to go for a c-section, sort of trying to make it seem like it was your choice so hopefully you'd accept the c-section more than if they'd just told you that a vaginal delivery just wasn't going to work out. I guess that backfired because you're now second-guessing yourself, but in reality while c-sections are very safe, they are still surgery and less safe than a vaginal delivery so they wouldn't have agreed to perform one unless it was necessary. I know I feel a bit like I failed too because I wanted a natural childbirth but I did end up getting an epidural in the end, but a lot of the nurses reminded me that the ONLY goal of birth is to deliver a healthy child. Don't get caught up in the details of things that don't really matter in the end.