• Week by Week
  • Sex and Pregnancy
  • Weight Gain
  • Exercise and Nutrition

New to the forum? Sign Up Here!

Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password? Need Help?  
Learn and Discuss About...

Am I The Dad?

4 posts on this thread and the last post was on March 5th, 2009 1:34 AM
There are currently 4901 members logged in.
helio - February 24th, 2009 12:29 AM
 [Original Post]

Ok...a few months ago my ex-girlfriend told me that she was pregnant and that it was mine. I was shocked because we hadn't been together for months and she waited so long to tell me. So I ask her when the due date is and she said end of March/first of April 2009. Well, I didn't think too much of it at the time, but I began to question whether or not it really is mine. I started reading about pregnancy and found out that when the doctor estimates the due date they go by the first day of the last period, which comes out to be a 40-week calendar. I am right about that aren't I? Ok...so I go back and count from the last time we had sex, which was June 27. I remember well because we broke up 2 days later.

40 weeks from June 27 turns out to be April 3, which is in the range for the due date. But, I also read that even though pregnancy is calculated by 40 weeks, a person doesn't get pregnant til around 14 days later, on average. So she wouldn't have gotten pregnant until the second week of July, right? We had gotten pregnant a couple times before, but they both ended in miscarriages. Both of those times, the doctor estimated that she conceived during the second week of the month.

I used one of those sites with the calendar and entered 06/27/2009 as the LMP, even though she wasn't on her period at the time and it gave me an estimated conception date of July 12 and an estimated due date of April 4. How likely is it that I am really the father?

clindholm - February 24th, 2009 10:53 AM

You are correct that the doctor calculates the due date by adding 40 weeks from the first day of a womans last period. Actual conception typically occurs 14 days before the first day of the expected (missed) period. Keep in mind that this is all based on a 28 day cycle. Your girlfriends dates may vary by a few days if her cycle is longer or shorter than 28 days. If you are the father, her last period would be 2 weeks prior to your last time you were together, which was 6/27 (approx 6/13).
Why did she not tell you until just a few months ago? Are you sure she is giving you the true due date? If you want to check, it is usually printed on the ultrasound picture which you can request to see without being accusatory.


helio - February 25th, 2009 4:08 PM

She said she wasn't going to tell me because she wanted to do it alone, but figured she should anyway. She did give me a picture from an ultrasound which was done back in December, but it didnt have any due dates or any indications of how far along she was, only her birthdate and the date of the ultrasound. But like I said, we've been thru 2 pregnancies before this and both times it was estimated that she got pregnant/conceived sometime during the second week of the month. She doesn't get her period every month, which she said were due to cancer treatments, but wouldn't her fertility window still be consistent? Or can the fertility window be at the beginning of the month one time, and just a few months later be at the end of the month?

clindholm - February 27th, 2009 12:19 PM

It depends on her cycle length. Some women are 25-28 days which is not a full month (average 30 days) so the fertile window will change by a couple of days each month. My cycle is like that, not always the same day of the month.

Well I guess it just comes down to how much you trust her. Unfortunately the only way to be 100% sure is to have a paternity test done once the baby is born but I'm sure you would rather know sooner. What is your gut feeling?


hannalyn - March 5th, 2009 1:34 AM

If she doesnt have a regular period than its hard to tell, i know because im irregular. also any prediction has to have a two week window so consider that. i know its frustrating but the best thing to do is as soon as she delivers get a test done at the hopsital its easier and cheaper to add it to the bill. Plus in this day and age its better to be safe than sorry of course you would rather pay $500 the $500 a month for 18 years.... i know you seen Maury!