Lost my baby last week

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Lost My Baby Last Week

6 posts on this thread and the last post was on September 13th, 2009 4:05 PM

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Alone2009 - August 20th, 2009 2:16 PM

[Original Post]

On August 10, 2009 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl at only 21 weeks pregnant. I had gone in to the hospital on Saturday due to spotting, unfortunately they were unsure of what was happening or the reasons for my spotting after many test. The doctor told me she knew this wasn't very comforting and discharged me. I returned to the hospital on Sunday with what I thought were contractions and was admitted due to my having a shortened cervix. The next morning, I was still having severe abdominal pains to which the doctor decided to give me tylenol to help ease some of my discomfort. I would see the specialist "some time this week". I told the nurse there was something definately wrong, so she arranged for me to have an ultrasound. By the time my ultrasound was done, I knew there was something seriously wrong as my abdominal pain was now increasingly painful and closer together. I was rushed to my room where I called the nurse and told her to get the doctor as I was having severe contractions. The nurse told me the doctor would be in shortly and was simply reviewing the results of my ultrasound. I told her I needed the doctor now, but by this time it was too late. I had already begun dialating and my baby girl slipped through. I felt her last few moves and the nurse told me "it's ok, you just miscarried" as she looked in my underwear and found my baby girl. I could do nothing but push her out of my way at this point. Nothing was ok, I had just lost my baby girl. The doctor came in shortly after and ripped out my placenta without saying 2 words to me. I honestly don't think the 3 doctors I saw between Sunday and Monday believed I was having contractions since I was a first time unexperienced mother.

I am very angry with the hospital for how they handled the entire situation and am devastated with the loss of my first child.

Any advise on how to cope with my loss would be greatly appreciated.

lozzy - August 20th, 2009 9:58 PM

OMG i'm so sorry, your story made me cry I have no idea how you must be feeling. I lost my baby at 9 weeks and that was hard enough I cant imagine what you must be going through.

The way the staff at that hospital acted is discusting, i found when i miscarried the doctors were a bit like that too. I waited 6 hours in emergency to see someone and had no idea what was going on

Have you had a funeral or some kind of memorial for your beautiful girl? It might help you say good bye and get some closure. Also you didnt mention if you had named her?

Alone2009 - August 21st, 2009 10:12 AM

Thanks Lozzy, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We did have a funeral for Jayden Suzie the following day which I'm sure has helped with some of my grieving. I am still very angry with the hospital although I know this will not bring my little Jayden back to me.

murphman - September 8th, 2009 6:40 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.....I have lost 2 babies. One at 21 weeks. After that they determined that I had "incompetent cervix". I got pregnant again 2 yrs later and this time they had put a cervical cerclage in. I was put on "restricted activity" basically I did nothing. I was too scared! The stitch held fine and I was induced 1 day before my due date. Unfortunatly my baby was stillborn. He was a large baby 9 lbs 8oz and 24 1/2 inches long. He got stuck coming out and the cord was wrapped around his neck. I have never felt so much heartache in my life as I did both times I lost my babies.
I am again pregnant....I am 23 weeks now and everything is going well. I am opting for a c-section this time!!!! My husband and I are keeping our fingers crossed and praying alot. I am not getting any younger...when this baby is born I will be 41, so I am thinking this is our last try.
I know what you are going through....I think about my babies every single day...and tell them I love them every single night. At times I felt like giving up on trying again, but I just couldn't....I have wanted a baby for what seems like forever. Hopefully this time everything works out.
I will keep you in my thoughts.

Alone2009 - September 9th, 2009 11:03 AM

I am so sorry for your losses. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your new baby. I had a cervical cerclaged placed at 18 weeks only by luck since they determined in one of my ultrasounds that I was dilating. I was placed on strict bed rest at home and like you, I was afraid to do anything. Have they placed another cerclage for you? Have you been placed on bed rest? You are definitely a very strong woman. I certainly understand the heartache you have been going through and my heart reaches out to you.

I still have many questions left unanswered but hopefully many of these can be answered during my next OBGYN appointment. Once we have had a chance to grieve, we are hoping to try for another baby.

murphman - September 9th, 2009 4:42 PM

Thank you. I had a cerclage placed this time at 12 weeks. So far so good. I am not on total bed rest as of yet. My Dr said we are going to take it week by week. If there are no changes in my cervix I can continue at the activity level I am at. I am not doing any lifting, I am only to be on my feet for 1/2 hr at a time and I have an amazing husband that does the housework, grocery shopping etc. I pretty much know from last pregnancy what my limitations are. The stictch held well last time but like I said my baby was stillborn (stuck coming out and cord wrapped) I hope you get some answers at your next appointment. They will probably do the cerclage your next pregnancy at 12 weeks, I think that is the earliest they can do it. I am glad you are going to try again...it is hard to come to that decision but I couldn't imagine not trying again. I did wait along time though. Between the 1st and 2nd pregnancy we waited 2 yrs, and almost 5 years to get pregnant this time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

busymum7 - September 13th, 2009 4:05 PM

Im so sorry to hear what happeneded to you my heart goes out to you. I also have just lost my beautiful baby girl at 39 weeks and 6 days. She was my first girl after 7 healthy boys. It has only been a month since my saddness, and I have gone through alot of anger, questions unanswered, and why? . Im 38 and will try again, I may never have agirl again, but I know that my beautiful daughter is waiting on her family and we will meet up one day again. Remember always she will be with you forever. take care and dont give up x

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