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Hi ladies, thanks for the kind words. Dawn, Its kindof strange, but Id rather have lots of symptoms, I would honestly feel better knowing that I still had pregnancy hormones in my body. I took the test for reassurance and it did the opposite. I wasen't feeling great and just wanted to see that I was pregnant. (losing so many its hard to believe sometimes that I am even pregnant).If I wouldent have taken the test I wouldent be as concerned. Helene, I am going to a family doctor who lives in an town 2 hours from me. He delivers babies and has a small portable ultrasound machine. He is a very good doctor and knows my history. I could go to emergency and wait, but they are really strange here when it comes to miscarriages, they will tell you to come back when your bleeding or they will book an ultrasound, but if its not a ectopic it might be in a few days. I once thought I was having an ectopic with my first loss. I had awful cramping on one side and they coulden't give me an ultrasound on the weekend because no ultrasound Tech works on the weekend, so I had to wait until Monday morning.It was two days I could have died if it was an ectopic, but they can't afford to have an ultrasound tech working on the weekends. I have lost my faith in the doctors in emergency, they really don't seem to care. I phoned my Obgyn's office to see if they had another doctor covering mine while he's gone and the office is closed. I really can't stand waiting and not knowing whats going on.If I was going to miscarry I was so prepared mentally when I was spotting, but I got my hopes up when I seen my baby and its beautiful little heart beating . I can't take this anymore either Im going nuts or I can't carry a baby to term anymore if my life depended on it.

Tara S~Take a deep breath. I know easier said than done. Hang in there, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I've been keeping up with the posts, just haven't had much to share lately. BUT, yesterday went to the Specialist for a follow-up and ALL bloodwork came back great for dh and I, the saline u/s looked great and he gave us the go ahead to tttc. My last cycle was 43 days and I am on day 29 now, so if I stick to that 43 day cycle I should be o'ing as we speak(we bd'd last night) The plan is this, if I get AF my doc want me to come in on day 3 and take clomid for 5 days. He says it will maximize our chances of conciveing plus it thickens the uterine lining and also increases progesterone from the begining. Daniella~I know your thought about clomid and what happened to your friend, but what do you think of his plan? Also, anyone else have a similar suggestion from their doc? I'm a little overwhelmed that the next few weeks might be key and lead to a BFP soon!

TARA - I understand what you are saying. I am sure it all does not seem real, especially if you are feeling no symptoms. OK, I hope you feel like crap very soon - how is that? Ha Ha Hang in there and I hope you can get in and get some answers soon. CHRISTIE - That is great news about your visit with a specialist. Now, when you say specialist just what do you mean and what kinds of bloodwork did you have done? Just curious for future reference if needed on this end. Dawn

Dawn~the Specialist is a Reproductive Endocrinologist, If I listed ALL the bloodwork it would take 3 pages, but, 19 viles of blood later (tested most common m/c cause, clotting disorders also retested me for pcos) I was diagnosed with pcos about 3 yrs ago, which I thought might have had something to do with my 2 m/c but, apparently my glucose and insulin levels were fine, he even said better than fine. So, I'm not even sure if I have it anymore. The saline u/s that I had was to determine the thickness of the uterine lining and to see if the shape of my uterus was good. Which they were. This doctor is really great and we like him a lot. He came very highly recommended and is well known for his success. He said "okay, now lets get you pregnant" I said "more importantly can we keep me pregnant?" His response, "well, that is the hard part, but that is our plan". *we will see, good wishes for all of us!

Tara- good news!!! it was JUST the test!!! If your HCG was 134000 just 2 weeks ago, then you DEFINITELY have enough HCG in your system to register the best it can on the test. Hypathetically the baby died that same day you took the HCG at the clinic and had surgery the next and completely removed it. You would still have HCG in your system now. Your body gets rid of HCG about as fast as it goes up. My HCG was only 9500 when I had my D&C and that took 4 weeks to get down to 5. So, it has to be the test. ALSO... after so many weeks your HCG peaks and then goes down. Heres some more hope... I had preggo symptoms SOOOOO bad on my last pregnancy that didn't make it, on the one I just had, I had hardly any at all. Not until the 3rd trimester and this was the best one and only one that made it full term out of the 4 pregnancies I've had. Maybe you have a boy in ya... sometimes they say that boys dont give you as many symptoms and if so, it usually happens as you get further along. LOL

___Christi- well, your doctor knows best and your gonna do what you want.. my best advice is to get the lowest dose. I wouldn't take more than 50 mg. and I would take it day 4 of your cycle on the first try. Usually the woman begins clomiphene citrate on the fifth day of bleeding. One 50-mg tablet of clomiphene citrate is taken for 5 days. Intercourse should begin 3 to 5 days later in anticipation of ovulation. starting clomiphene citrate prior to day 5 may result in recruitment of additional follicles. Ovulation predictor kits detecting the LH surge may demonstrate false positive results if testing begins near the time of clomiphene citrate administration. Many women with PCOS who are trying to become pregnant use clomiphene citrate in conjunction with an insulin sensitizing medication, such as Glucophage.

Also Christi- you may want to ask about progesterone supplements (and maybe even baby aspirin) right after you know you have ovulated. Around day 16 to help the lining of your uterus stay nice and thick for implantation. Or is your doctor going to put you on progesterone supplements right after ovulation??

Daniella~ I would start the clomid on day 3 actually and yes, I would be on progesterone. The baby aspirin is not necessary because I do not have any of the clotting disorders. I took progesterone 2 weeks past conception of my last pregnancy, I would be tested(blood not ept) earlier to see if I concieved and begin immediately. I assume I will begin at 50 mg, isn't that the most common dosage to start? I've done some research of my own. Don't we all?

I always bitch and complain about the fact that in the US we have the worst maternity leaves, but I have to say that after listening to so many of you women on this forum tak about how hard it is to get the care you want or the access to doctors and tests/equipment that I am just going to shut up and keep paying my large insurance premiums so long as I get the attention I want. Tara - listen to Daniella - what she says makes sense. I know it is so hard to believe that things will be okay especialy after all the garbage you have been through in the past year, but there is much to be hopeful for. I know i am sick as a dog half the time but it really didn't start up that soon - not until about 7-8 weeks- and I have friends who had no illness and had perfectly healthy babies and others whe were miserably sick for one child and not a single symptom for the other and both were fine. I am 17 weeks tomorrow and I tell you I thougt I was done with this m/s but on Monday I puked and I did again on Wednesday, and I have been nasueous on the other days. I actually dreamed last night about eating and in the dream I ate two different veggies and was SO HAPPY because they tasted great and didn't make me sick. How sad is it that I dreamed about that? ANd now my big worry is is my child and am I getting the proper nutrition because so many healthy foods make me sick - basically the entire green spectrum aside from peppers - so sure, being sick is a reasurrance, but excessive sickness brings its own set of issues. Yesterday a corworker picked up chinese food for me at lunch and she mistakenly got me beef and broccoli instead of beef with black bean sauce and I had to scoop ALL the broccoli out because looking at it and smelling it made me ill. Plus I was so depressed that she mesed up because the reason I ordered the black bean sauce was that it came with peppers and onions which are on my short list of good vegies (peppers are my ONLY green veggie) so I was like - damn - now how am I going ot get my veggies in today? I wanted to cry but i couldn't complain because she did me a favor by picking it up. I ended up giving her the broccoli. Now I have to decide between do I take the zofran so I can eat enough and get some veggies in, or do I skip it and try to survive on what doesn' t make me sick and hop I am getting enough nutrition to keep us both healthy. I tend to do the latter, but it is not easy and sometimes I cave in so I can feel better and eat better. I have only taken it four times, but I still don't like the idea of taking it often. PLus it makes me constipated which sucks. ANd trust me, when you eat fewer veggies, constipation becomes an issue because your fiber intake is decreased.

Dawn - I forgot to answer your question. I got pregnant in the 6th cycle - I never got the 6th period. I m/c'ed at the end of September and then about 30-31 days later I got a/f in October. I got a/f every 28 days until the ast cycle which was 30-31 days (I forget) on Feb 17th and then I got a BFP in March. I know that you had 6 cycles, but I got that first a/f the same lenghth of time as a normal cycle, and all the others were very uniform, and I think Coda had the same. So maybe that is the difference? I don't know. BUt don't give up hope. Keep charting and defintley get that pelvic exam. I thought when you went to your new docs that they gave you one a few months back, but maybe I have you confused with someone else.

Allie - if you ar out there , I am thining of you and hoping you are holding up well. Coda - let us know how you and Rouge are doing.

Christi- just wondering... if your glucose and insulin levels came back more than fine, etc. what did they find to prognose you with pcos?? also... my friend that took clomid didn't start on day 3 until after 3 months of taking it. Actually she took it on day 5 the first month, day 4 the next and day 3 after. You don't go to day 3 until you don't achieve pregnancy after a few tries.. you should definitely not take it before day 3. Each day under day 5 may result in recruitment of additional follicles. Yes, you should start at 50 mg. on day 5 first... then 50 mg. on day 4, and then 50 mg. on day 3 if no success... etc. if still none, then up the dose to 100 mg. Some doctors go to 100 mg. on day 3 right away because they give this med. out like its candy. At any rate... I am no against clomid at all actually. I just don't agree with doctors giving it out before doing other test and after a woman has become pregnant on her own, etc. If a woman becomes pregnant, she can obviously ovulate.. so, give meds. to make her "keep" the pregnancy, not to "get" pregnant. BUT, your right... clomid can help other things than just not ovulating, but you have to rule out other things first. ANyhow, as you said.. you've done your own research, etc. so I am telling you nothing you don't already know. :) I am just glad your doctor did run the series of test on you. I bet it will all work out just fine. Good luck!! :) Oh, when are you do for your AF??

Daniella~ I was diagnosed in 2003 with pcos by an endocrinologist. He prescibed Glucophage, but, it made me sooooo sick that I stopped taking it. And, I was on the pill until May of last year so it didn't manifest in my cycles because I was regulated by the pill. I thought that getting pregnant would be my problem, but obviously, 2 pregnancies in 4 cycles, it wasn't. Is it poosible that I do not have it anymore? I wasn't aware that pcos could just go away. I have tried doing some research on that, but wasn't too sucessful. Re: AF, if my body sticks to this 42 day cycle (and I have no idea if it will) I should get AF around 6/28-29. I am on day 29 right now. So, if the 42 day cycle is correct I should be ovulating, I tried the opk's and second line keeps coming up lighter than the control line, so, it is hard to read. Who knows, I am at a loss. So, I guess I will just wait. MD said that if we think we bd'd at the right time this cycle I should come in a week after the +opk to get tested asap for progesterone. If it turns out that we concieved then he will start supplements sooner than I would have if I waited to get a BFP myself. Yet again, another waiting game, but atleast we know we got the green light to ttc again! Any thoughts?

Good evening ladies. so sorry about af dawn. christie glad to hear you are doing good. daniella and bee good to hear you ladies bubs are ok. coda and tara i will praying for you ladies. and helene have you tried drinking sprite and eating some crackers right before you get out of bed in the morning some people it helps. but you know how that stuff goes. I know with me sprite helps anytime that i get the pukes. Nothing new my way except a doc appointment on the 21st. Good night to all.

Well I survived my Dr's appt today. I had another u/s and the mass is 4cm. It is growing inside my ovary and not attached to the outside as we had hoped. The Dr says that it is 50/50 that it is either a dermoid cyst or a hemorragic cyst. He feels sure that it is a dermoid given my previous one. So I have surgery on July 10th(he couldn't do it any sooner because he is having knee surgery tomorrow himself) I asked about harvesting eggs and he said that it wasn't possible because if it is a dermoid and it ruptures it would cause a massive infection. So I am praying that it is a hemorragic cyst and not a dermoid. He said that if it is hemmoragic it should be simple to remove but if it is a dermoid then there is at least a 50% chance that I will lose the ovary. Also he said that if he is able to save the ovary the dermid will most likely grow back in the future. But I should hopefully have time to get pg before then. So it doesn't look very promising that I will ever have any more children. Don't get me wrong I love Brock and Katie with all my heart and I am very thankful to have them. It is just that I want to have another child also. I do appreciate all of your concern and am thankful that I have you to vent to. By the way to top it all off my boss was very rude and mad that I have to be off for 6 weeks since they can't do the surgery laporscopicaly. It will be an open abdominal incision.

BnKsmum...Sorry to hear the news. Its a bummer that surgery is almost a month away Im sure the waiting is hard. I hope it works out for you Its a constant waiting game here for eveyone hopefully in time it does go all everyones way.