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STARTING OVER AFTER A D/C OR M/C 34!!!!

129 posts on this thread and the last post was on October 7th, 2009 2:51 PM
There are currently 4487 members logged in.
smmom2 - March 8th, 2009 6:34 PM
[Original Post]

We are all here for the loss of our children. Some of us are beginning again, and some of us are trying, some of us are just trying to cope. We support each other through every moment of life now, maybe with a little help from Sandwaby ( stands for Sad and wanting a baby) or the rest of us in SANDHABY ( sick and having a baby) . And now we even have a STANDHABY ( stressed and having a baby) . All of us have come a long way !!! We have become more then support....we have become friends. So either way, come on in and join us...everyone is welcome!!!


creating101 - March 8th, 2009 10:52 PM

Tomorrow is the big day. I cant wait to find out if it is a boy or a girl. I will let you all know. But I wont be on that much, because this book fair is taking up all my time. I am kind of glad I am doing it though. It makes the time go faster.
Hope everyone is doing well!


ChrysB - March 9th, 2009 8:18 AM

I just typed up something and it disappeared because I hadn't figured out how to login on this new site. Now I know! Otherwise, I like it; it is easier to read.

Stacy and Creating, keep us posted. I want to know what the dr.s say.

I was so relieved to have a normal af this month. It was the right length and intensity. Now, I just need to lower the stress level in the rest of my life! I am still having some bad days because I should be 7 months pregnant now, and it hurts to see pregnant women around sometimes. Other times, I'm ok.

Does it help when the due date passes, or is it worse? We are going to be on our way to Disneyland when what would have been my due date arrives, so I hope to be well distracted and not overly-depressed, but I can see how a deep depression could hit.


lisamc - March 9th, 2009 10:39 AM

Happy Monday!! CHRYS: I am sorry AF showed up, don't lose heart your turn is coming! STACY: I guess all of us women and our bodies really are so different. Strange how we both had such different experiences with AF post surgery. I def. had AF last week and I am on my way to Oing soon. I wish we could be trying already - I feel so good and I am ready but I have come this far so I just need to be patient for another month or so. SHELLY: How is everyone at your house feeling these days? I hope all is well! Where is everyone???? check in please!!!!! LISA



stacyr - March 10th, 2009 6:08 PM

Chris - due date was extremely hard for me...(it was actually my birthday so I had the ageing another year w-no kids to compound it...) but maybe it was so hard because i'm still in the drama...its good you'll be busy though...i think its rough no matter what...
SHELLY - I took a test this morning - sad to see the negative (even though i'm not supposed to try yet a part of me really wanted to see positive...I still have such a mystery because again yesterday I got home, took a nap and had crazy dreams...this is so unlike me...I can't keep my eyes opened and as I said my body is just swolen...)...anyways - doctor said he'll see me tomorrow afternoon...he said we'll figure it all out...I really like this fertility guy...he doesn't seem to mind my paranoia...LISA - I am so jealous! I don't know why you have to wait so long...I was told one normal cycle and I would be good to go...now getting that cycle is still a problem...i just wanna know whats up! To everyone else...how are u ladies? COL, JUDI, KATH, ERIN, CLAUDIA, MAYBE ETC. ETC. check in....site has been so quiet!


creating101 - March 10th, 2009 7:45 PM

ChrysB- due dates are hard. I was pregnant again but I still struggled through the day. Right now we are not looking forward to Fathers Day, since that was when I had my m/c. It is just a month or so before the baby will be born but I am not looking forward to it.
Well I went to the Dr, all the blood tests came out good! We had the ultra sound, and everything seemed great. After trying to get the little stinker to work with us, we found out that we are having a GIRL. Some ultra sound pics are on fb friend me to see deborah kelley


smmom2 - March 11th, 2009 6:55 PM

Hello ladies....I have a moment finally. Creating...]CONGRTAS on a beautiful baby girl on the way !!! Any name ideas yet??? I tried looking you up...but there are a million Deborah Kelley's on FB. any clues to which one is you?? LOL. LISA]...glad things are moving along...soon now you will be ttc again !!!! STACY....what did the dr say?? I am so glad you have a great dr that will help you and give you answers. I am sorry you got a bfp...I know its better you wait...but I know the hear ache of seeing a bfn !!! You will soon though...I know it !!! CHRYS....I was pg again with Carson when my edd came around...it does NOT make it easier. I still thought about it alot and cried !!! You need lots of distractions that day, but let yourself cry if you need. It is ok. I suppose it did help that my niece was born ON my edd !! BUT...good and bad...right ladies !!!! ANyways...Ihope all is well for you all. My kids are not sleeping at night..so I am tired. And I started back to school...so I am trying to manage a very busy schedule on no sleep. YEA ME !!


maybebaby2007 - March 12th, 2009 5:44 AM

Hello Girls! I haven't posted for good weeks now. I'm sorry. I have litterally been hiding. I had such ups and downs since Christmas! The situation is still the same. I felt so bad I couldn't even take the good news on forums such as this. I've been reading a lot about how to stay positive and how to deal with this situation. I just don't know what I am having such a hard time, because everyone else around me is positive.
Couple of weeks ago, we have seen our consultant to decide what are the next steps. This was the first time we've seen him since my lap/dye surgery in November. I saw someone in between only to tell me my test was all fine. He was very positive. Because my results are brilliant, he doesn't see the reason why we couldn't get pregnant naturally. We agreed we'll go on another 3 months without anything and then I could start Chlomid 50mg for 6 months and only then we would get reffered for IVF. Although the doctor almost "promised" me that it will never come to it. He's convinced won't even chlomid. Bless him!!! The truth is, why would a baby want to come to us now? Why would a baby want to come to this angry, frustrated, jealous women who doesn't actually believe in it. I'm trying very hard to change my mind setup right now. That's the hardest part!!!



maybebaby2007 - March 12th, 2009 5:54 AM

I haven't entirely read all your posts since my last one. But I've picked up on few things while quickly scanning:
LISA and STACY: You've had your surgeries now!! I sincerely hope you are recovering well, your hopes returned to you and you are getting a green light soon, or perhaps you already have it..GOOD LUCK. You are two brave girls!!
SHELLY: I've picked up on you are back to school - fantastic! What exactly are you doing?
CREATING, ERIN, COL, LILLYMUMMY - Great to hear you are all ok!! Keep Going!! Lillymummy - twins, so exciting! Creating- Congrats on a girl!! I would love to have a girl!!
CLAUDIA, SHABNAM, MISS P - I'm sure all your babies are simply gorgeous and all is well.
CHRYS B - Good luck trying again, it's tough, but it happened every single girl on this thread, it must come to us too!
JUDI - you must be due very soon, don't you? I haven't checked the facebook in a long time either..

All the best to everyone else I may have forgotten, I hope I will manage to keep my dark moments will not return as bad as this time anymore. I've hidden from everybody. I hardly saw any friends, DH's family etc..Partly because DH had a hernia operation as well, so we were a bit housebound anyway. But we spent so much time together lately. It was lovely. He's so supportive. He is just my star! This man is the best thing ever happened to me! I love him to bits.


lisamc - March 12th, 2009 11:54 AM

Hi girls! Hope your all doing good today. I am ok. Glad the week is coming to a close... its been a long one. STACY: are you still feeling weird? Did you go to the dr. yet? I think really I just got lucky that AF came so quickly, it always amazes me how versatile our bodies are, after all the messing around with it they did it still bounced back and did what it was supposed to. (Ok, except for the part where it is SUPPOSED to make babies!) I wanted to start temping again this month but I keep forgetting and you can't take it after you have already gotten up. I have to try to remember. I think I have to have that saline test done again to be sure the surgery was ok, they said depending on my cycle we could do it one to two months after surgery, but you know they don't understand how hard it is to wait a whole extra month! I am going to try to schedule it after my next af so I can still try next month. Part of me wants to skip the test (since the results don't matter, I am not having another surgery - this was a one shot deal)and just see what happens but like DH has said, I have come this far I should see it through to the end... I hate it when he makes sense! I just feel so good and I am ready to start trying again. We will see what happens. Hope your doing ok, I can't tell you how much it helped me to have someone else go through the surgery. CREATING: Congrats! I am so happy that all is well with your baby girl. What wonderful news! SHELLY: I hope you get some rest soon! your like superwoman! MAYBE: I wish I could give you a hug - I can sympathize how you are feeling, I went through that dark feeling last year after one of the many losses I had. It was like I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Things feel so different for me now and I hope you can find a way out and start feeling better yourself! Just know that none of this is your fault and really is a part of a bigger plan that just may not make sense right now. Have you read the book "The Secret"? I read it about a year ago and I just loved it. You have to buy into the whole positive thinking thing, but it really does work. Mindset can really play a big role in our lives. If you need to talk let us know and know that your not alone, maybe (no pun intended) we will all get our babies around the same time! Then we can say ... "Remember when it was so hard?"... "look at us now!"..... hope things look up for you. Your DH sounds great. bye girls! LISA


smmom2 - March 12th, 2009 11:26 PM

MILLEY...I am glad you are ok. I know it is hard, and has been a struggle for you...but Lisa is right. You will at some point see the light at the end of the tunnel. God does have a plan...and even though we cant see it or dont like it...things will happen at his Pace. The fact that nothing is wrong probably makes it so much more frustrating for you...but when you de-stress yourself from it and let go, it will happen. Try concentrating a little more on the positive parts of it...like you have discovered there is NOT anything wrong with you. And you and dh have had the chance to discover exactly what you mean to eachother through all this. And you have discovered a love with him that alot of women dream about having....and soon you will both be able to share that with a baby. Just keep telling yourself, this will happen for me,you will hold your very own healthy baby soon. And we will all be here to support you through whatever dark moments you have !! As for me...I am in photography, it has been fun but I know will be a lot of work. But it is worth it. Time to do something for me now that the kids are all here !!! Ok ladies...I am off to sleep...lets hope the little monsters all sleep all night long !!


stacyr - March 16th, 2009 6:12 PM

Hey all - feeling like absolute hell - u all have no idea the roller coaster I have been on...just between wednesday and thursday appointments and now waiting for another appointment tomorrow...I am so frustrated I don't even want to type it!
MILLEY - great to hear from you - and girl I feel you!
The HSG didn't show anything at all?...have they done other tests..i'm sure yes...
SHELLY - so glad to hear u took up photography - It is def theraputic! Photography is my weakness when it comes to art - I always wished I had a better eye for it...I had told you all i was painting again - with all the drama - and all the canvases I have (/am soon to have) I was trying to figure out how to get in a gallery etc...not right now...but if the drama keeps up I'm gunna have quite a series :-)
Love to all...I'll catch up with the story when I feel up to it...


ChrysB - March 16th, 2009 9:55 PM

I'm sorry, Stacy. I hope the painting does help. I'll be here to read about your frustrations when you feel like writing about them.

Nothing exciting here. It is the right time for me to O, but dh is traveling again. He was gone last month at this time too. I'm not going to stress about it. It'll happen when it happens. Neither of us is traveling in April, so maybe that will be the month for all of ttc here!


lisamc - March 17th, 2009 9:52 AM

Oh girls... I wish I could do something to make you feel better! STACY: I am here if you need to talk, I am so sorry its been tough for you. CHRYS: I have my fingers and toes crossed that April IS your month. You deserve it! SHELLY: I wish I was artistic, I bet photography is a great outlet. Hope your getting some rest! Not much going on with me at all. I am on day 18 or 19 of this cycle, I have been trying to get back into taking my temp every morning just so I can see if my cycle changed at all after the surgery - which my dr. said it could be a bit off. I always O'd around CD11 and this month I think I didn't until CD14 or 15... but I don't know for sure because I missed a bunch of temps in there... the problem being that we used protection during the possible O time but missed one time which was right around when I think I was o'ing.... ok honestly part of me thinks... well if it happens this month that is ok and secretly I hope it did. But really what are the chances? I really would like to wait until next month to try. I have to call the dr. and see when to schedule the saline thing, which if I do the first half of my next cycle could still give us a chance to try next month... I am so ready for this and hope it happens fast. Well DH is out of town this weekend (annual ski trip with the guys) so I am flying solo... DS will be home some of the days so I hope to get some quality face time with the little man. He is so busy with school and friends and back and forth with his dad that I cherish having him all to myself when I can get it. By the time I have another child, DS will be just about gone, it breaks my heart to see him growing and becoming so independent. He is only 11 but its all really beginning now, he is noticing girls and his friends are so important to him, its normal and its fun to see him becoming more mature... but its scary, I miss the baby years and they went by way too fast.... ok chicky's - where is everyone? JUDI - aren't u due soon? Check in please! xoxoxo LISA (sending an extra hug to my girl Stacy...


stacyr - March 17th, 2009 5:35 PM

The short of it...This is a LONG way from over...
Baby in 2009 is out...shoot baby at age 31 is out...I dunno how much more of this I can handle..
Okay - the long...
Last wendesday I went to check on the lining with the Dr after a demand on my own hunch and impatience...He discovered that all scarring was gone on both a 3d scan and a SGH...but for some unexplained reason my lining was only 3mm...he said not good...started me on 9 pills of estrogen a day and told me to come back today..He also told me I should go for an HSG (the dye test)- his exact words were "I seriously doubt they're gunna find everything because it all looks good but let's just double check to be sure" Meanwhile worst case scenario mentioned a surrogacy (if all drugs don't work) - I went home balling all night...Radiologist appointment Thursday - now that test was FUN! (sarcasm if u didn't know) anyway - test showed scarring blocking my left ovary...here we go again...at least I had a suspected explanation (well kinda - ) for the lining... Had to wait till today and it turns out..guess what...more surgery! I'm trying to set it up for next week...He said March 25th or April 1st - I seriously just want this overwith...not to mention that he said the other parts of my uterin lining should have built up by now and haven't (measurement today was 4mm - needs to be 8mm for normal healthy preg) So even with the surgery we still don't know if my body will recover...I am so dayam angry - the ahole who did my d & c shouldn't have even been anywhere near my fallopian tubes! So there u have it in a shortened nutshell...I don't know how much more I can take!


stacyr - March 17th, 2009 5:37 PM

sorry - scarring blocking left tube not ovary..


MissP - March 18th, 2009 9:05 AM

hey girls, i finally had a moment to post and just say a hello and that im thinking about all you girls going through horrid stuff right now. Sorry i dont get chance to sign in regulalry. I actually just posted on the infant care forum having a great big moan, but i dont want to bore all you girls with my difficulties because i know there not as bad as what some of you will be going through. Anyway, hi to all you guys that i know quite well, judi, shelly, claudia, stacy shabnam, lisa and wow im sure theres others, my apoligies if i forgot someone. i havent had the chance to read back thru whats been going on as it would probably take me all day and i only have 5 mins. Malachi is fine, teething, not sleeping and twisting all the time but in good health otherwise, hes so big, 21 lbs now and is 24 wks, starting to crawl and wont keep still. Hes beautiful and i love him to bits. Me and dh are moving house and working hard with our business so i am quite stressed. I sometimes feel like i cant cope with all the stuff i have to think about! dont know how people manage with more than one! ok well id better go. again all my love to everyone trying or pregnant right now and youre all in my prayers. Take care ladies, til next time x x x