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hey girls, i finally had a moment to post and just say a hello and that im thinking about all you girls going through horrid stuff right now. Sorry i dont get chance to sign in regulalry. I actually just posted on the infant care forum having a great big moan, but i dont want to bore all you girls with my difficulties because i know there not as bad as what some of you will be going through. Anyway, hi to all you guys that i know quite well, judi, shelly, claudia, stacy shabnam, lisa and wow im sure theres others, my apoligies if i forgot someone. i havent had the chance to read back thru whats been going on as it would probably take me all day and i only have 5 mins. Malachi is fine, teething, not sleeping and twisting all the time but in good health otherwise, hes so big, 21 lbs now and is 24 wks, starting to crawl and wont keep still. Hes beautiful and i love him to bits. Me and dh are moving house and working hard with our business so i am quite stressed. I sometimes feel like i cant cope with all the stuff i have to think about! dont know how people manage with more than one! ok well id better go. again all my love to everyone trying or pregnant right now and youre all in my prayers. Take care ladies, til next time x x x

Hey gals! I thought I had lost you all... You just switched threads on me. Creating congrats on the baby girl. I am really happy for you. Chrys, due dates are hard... I think mine was easier bc I was pg when it came around and just too busy worrying about my new pregnancy. I think being in Disney will help you alot! Stacy, I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time with all the surgeries. I truly hope this will be your last one. I look forward to the day you get to tell us that you can ttc, or even better when you announce your bfp. It will come. If you need anything feel free to email me... bebesweetz at ymail dot com. Maybe, I am sending you a great big hug straight from Montreal. A big greeting to all of you that I didn't mention... I have to run but I will be back!

STACY: Girl, I am so sorry things are so tough right now. What a bummer that you are still dealing with all this and now have to have another surgery. Its not fair and I wish I could do something for you. I just know that you will get through this and be ok. They have to tell you the good and bad but that doesn't mean it will happen so just know that you have support here if you need to "talk" and I am thinking about you and praying for you. MISSP: Hello stranger! Glad to hear Malachi is doing so good. WOW - 21lbs? Happens fast doesn't it? Great to hear from you!!! Hi SHAB! Good to hear from you. I am glad your doing ok. OK - the rest of you WHERE ARE YOU???? hugs to all.... LISA

I am so sorry you are having these issues Stacy. You are in my thoughts and some how everything will work out. I remember the point I gave up and then somehow less than a month later I was pregnant. Try not to put a time limit when to get pregnant. Age is not as a big deal as it used to be. I will be 38 when my baby is born. Currently there are 6 gals at my daughters school pregnant and they are all over 35 years of age.
In my news all is okay. I wish I would feel the baby kick more, but I just am in the 5th month. My other 2 I was 6 months before I felt it strong. Both my kiddos are at their Fathers so I am a bit lonely, but getting lots done. I am almost done steam cleaning and moving my daughters furniture around. It is taking me forever though. I have started the lower back aches and it is hard to work on a room when all I wan to do is get off my feet. lol Next is my sons which wont take as long since I just gave away tons of his toys a few months ago. Wish me luck I need to get off this computer and finish that room before the hubby comes home. I would like us to have some couple time and maybe go to dinner. I miss my children dearly but it has been nice to actually spend time with him and talk and hang out. We have gone through closets and just chatted. Very nice indeed.

Hello ladies.... STACY....I am so sorry you have to go through all this. At least now you have an answer to why you didnt get af and maybe finally this can all be cleared up. Try to look at it in the most positive way you can ( I know easier said then done, when you do finally get pg and carry a healthy baby and hold that baby...it will make ALL of this worth it...and make it all melt away. Keep your eye on the prize so to speak. Going through the surgery again...will be hard, but you know what to expect and will get through it. And if you get pg the first couple cycles after, then you will be holding your baby by early next year ( Feb or March ) and trust me...once you get pg and are carrying a healthy bean....the time will go fast and you wont even think about what year that baby will be born. All you will be able to think about IS the baby, and preparing for it and the last couple months getting the baby OUT ! LISA]... I hate it when my dh goes out of town...makes me worry about him nonstop. I guess if you get pg this cycle then it is proof the surgery worked !!! If not then you will be able to this cycle...right? MISSP...so glad to hear from you. Glad Malachi is growing..he is a big boy !!! Carson has no desire to crawl...let alone wiggle around...lol !! He is a lazy man !! Which is fine with me..I can get more done with him trapped somewhere in a contraption !!

SHAB....you didnt tell us how SHireen is doing??? Whats up with that?? How is her kidney stiff going? LISA]...I am here...I have been so crazy busy..the free time I do have is either spent with homework or going to the gym trying to lose the weight...yes still !!! I seem to be at a stuck point !! CREATING....glad to hear all is well with baby girl. Are there any names yet/....forgive me if you already told me that as my brain sometimes doesnt work properly...lol ! I know what you mean about the quiet time with no kids. It is nice to have that time with dh. And just to yourself and to get things done !!! Anyways girls...I am praying for you all....and that beans are on their way to you for a healthy and happy nine months. I have been way busy with kids, running errands, school and the gym. Barely a moment for myself !! Maybe someday !! OK...off to make dinner ladies...cant wait for more updates...Stacy keep your chin up hon...it will happen for you !!!

Hi, girls! I warn you! This is an obscenely long post and I congratulate you already if you get through it all! :o)
Lisa and Shelly, you don’t know how much of a boost your posts were to me. Thank you very much! Yesterday, I went for my 1st counselling session. I’ve tried it for the 1st time last year when I was going through a hell with my mum and I think it did help me with the whole process a lot. So I’m hoping it will help me again. This is one of the benefits I get through work, so I get 4 free sessions in total, but if it’s really good, I will pay for couple more. Sitting there I actually realized that this was the first person who really truly listened to me and was honestly compassionate. I know I have my dad and my DH, but I’m sure you know a man cannot entirely understand as they don’t know anything about our bodies. I realized how incredibly lonely and isolated I feel. How all my friends constantly ramble on about their husbands, work etc. to me, about things they have actually chosen for themselves, but I can never talk to them about myself. They just haven’t got the ability to even try to think how I feel. Or perhaps they don’t want to! And another think is, I know I feel really disappointed with my body and I find it so damn hard to regain the trust and faith in it, it can do its job. I’m sure you all have battled either with one of the things or both at some point with your losses etc..

LISA: Thanks for all your kind words. Yes, I did read the Secret just about a month ago. Although I find it a little too simplistic as all the good thoughts without subsequent actions won’t bring anything to you and we all know it is all really about perspective, which you then realize is actually no “secret” at all! :o) But I admit there are very good quotes in there which do make you stop and think! – I do hope you’ll get it through to the end. You are amazingly positive and strong person and I admire you for how you are coping with your situation. By the way, your DH sounds very much like mine. :o)
SHELLY: Thank you. You’ve written it so beautifully; I had tears in my eyes reading it. I feel that people around me know how healthy and strong our relationship is and therefore their attitude is how I dare to complain, I already have got “everything”! And don’t take me wrong, I know it, I’m grateful for it every single day, but it really annoys me. It’s almost exactly why I want to take this love even further and it sometimes doesn’t make sense how come that out of all that love it doesn’t want to be! – Photography! That’s lovely!! You’ve got to publish some stuff on Facebook so we can admire your art! It’s a lovely hobby.
STACEY: I do understand your fear and anxiety very well. I didn’t go through a surgery like you and Lisa, but I know only too well about the pressure of time! You ARE still very young, with plenty of time on your hands. I saw myself with 2 small children at this age, it’s so damn hard to accept it, one feels so delayed, but once they come I’m sure it won’t matter one single bit. I’m sorry you are going through this really hard time right now. It all sounds so complicated and I can feel how desperate you must be to get to the end of it all. I truly hope it’s not much longer.
MISS P: All the best with your house and you business! Sometimes everything comes at once in life and it can get a bit daunting. Please don’t feel like you aren’t justified to complain to us. Of course you can! You are just in a different stage of your life. Thank you for your prayers!
CHRYS B: I hope the timing will work for you this month. We all know how “strategic” TTC can get, when we are so desperate for it to happen NOW!!!
SHABNAM: Your hug travelled all the way through the Atlantic, it arrived in London, and it felt good! :o)
CREATING: My sil is expecting her first, exactly the same age as you and she’s doing just fine. It’s not about the age.

CREATING: Girl, get off those feet! You can't push yourself too hard right now ... and that's an order! I know what you mean about being lonely when the kids are gone... (or kid in my case)... DS goes to his dad's house every other weekend and its for 3 nights in a row - I know its only 6 nights a month but its hard to say good-bye to him and its hard to adjust to being just DH and I when he leaves then back to Mom and Dad when he returns. We have been doing this for 9 years so we are all pretty used to it, but I still cry every time I have to say good-bye to my son. I try to enjoy my alone time, but no question I would prefer to be with him than not. SHELLY: Yep he left this morning and it is hard because I worry so much. After hearing that horrible story about Natasha Richardson and then my DH leaving to go skiing, just makes me worry even more. I feel so much better when he is back... but on the flip side, DS is going to dad's Friday night so I have the whole entire house to myself, I am kind of excited to have some me time. i was going to have some girlfriends over but I think I would prefer not having to get the house ready or food or anything, just take care of myself, I have chick flix and going to do my nails... all girlie stuff it should be relaxing and fun. And yes I can ofically start trying again next month, I have to schedule my HCG test so he can make sure all is good but he said based on my cycle and everything so far he has no reason to believe the surgery wasn't a sucess. So the test should hopefully confirm that. I have to wait until I get AF to schedule the test and they need to be 100% sure I am not pregnant and then do it the first half of my next cycle so I could start trying after that. So I am not in the clear just yet but fingerscrossed I will be soon.
STACY: Hope your doing ok today. Everyone is right, positive attitude will help alot! Just know that your not alone......MAYBE: Good for you going to talk to someone, I have never been myself but I have always said that I think everyone could benefit from having an impartial party just listen to them. I am glad you were able to feel a bit better. This whole ttc process is so hard, and even harder when you see the girls it comes easy to, its like a constant reminder what your body can't seem to do. I really do get it - I went through a period of time when I hated my body and didn't feel like a real woman, I felt because of my septum I was somehow deformed, which I guess in a way I was, but no-one could see it but I could feel it - not really feel it but I think you know what I mean. Its a dark place and your right no man can even begin to understand how that feels. But also sounds like we both found wonderful DH's who want to help us, but they can't! Sometimes to be honest I annoy myself with the positive attitude, but I really believe it helps. My life is much happier once I could figure out how to face what was bothering me and be logical about it. Not my best trait, logic flies right out the window when emotions take over! So there is my book! hugs to all of you - I pray that everyone is happy and doing good xoxox LISA

hi ladies! i haven't had a chance to read ALL the posts, but i have read most of them. i see in the time i was not here quite a bit has happened from the website change, to the thread moving onto #34 to progress with many of the ladies. i am sorry for being MIA. i have been keeping busy, but there really is no excuse for me not to have logged in for a few. i feel terrible that i have not been around to comfort the ladies who have been going through such a rough time. i am going to try to address everyone as best as i can:

SHELLY - how are you? i am so glad i am able to keep in touch with you through FB at the very least. i enjoy seeing your pictures. i am glad carson's appt went well and that he is getting big!
SHAB - i am not 100% sure what is going on, but i read something about shireen's kidney. i hope you and her and your dh are all doing well, God willing.
MISSP - i understand you and your family are going through some changes, but they sound like good changes, although overwhelming. i hope i am right. good luck with it all! by the way, malachi is a big boy! sounds like you may have an athlete!
CLAUDS - it sounds like you are also keeping busy. i am glad you have the chance to check in sometimes. it's nice to know you and tyrell are doing well, God bless.
STACY - i am so sorry for the new diagnosis. although i am glad that you have come a long way from months ago when you did not know what was going on with you. i am hoping and praying that whatever needs to be done is done soon and that you can be on your way to ttc. it's very frustrating and it's unrealistic for me to say don't be frustrated, i will instead pray that you find the patience to cope with this situation and that soon you get your bfp.
MAYBE - i am sorry that you have been feeling down and frustrated also. i am going to say the same thing as i did to STACY... i pray that God gives you the patience to cope with your dilemma and that He soon allows you both and everyone else ttc their well deserved bfps!
BRYANDI - how is working out going for you? i think you said it's a hassle to have to go to the gym so you are trying to do some working out at home. have you made the type of progress you want? and how is little ember?
LISA - how are you?! months ago there were many times were this thread consisted of you and me just posting to each other and i miss that, haha. you're starting to ttc again next month, right? my prayers are there with you too, love. i hope you get that bfp... this has been a thread with bfps ever since i joined and i think it's about time for our next one which may be you and hopefully you, MAYBE and STACY and the other ttc ladies. that would be great!
ERIN - you're having a boy... congrats! have you thought of a middle name to go with hunter?
CREATING - you, on the other hand are having a girl!congrats! how exciting! have you thought of names?
CHRYS - honestly, i cried a lot when i had my m/c, but i kept pretty distracted when my edd came around and when my m/c date came around. i was actually fine, God bless. although it's sad, i kept trying to think positive and the thought that my first baby is in heaven helps me. i don't know what you believe, but that thought makes me happy because i know he really is in a better place.
LILY - how are you feeling?

have i missed anyone? i hope not. now which one of you said you can predict the gender using my bday and conception month?

hope all is well with everyone and i look forward to reading and posting more than not!!!

JUDI! I only have a sec.. but that was me that has the gender chart. Three babies born in the last month - it predicted right! I will write more tomorrow!

OK JUDI!! First of all - so GREAT to hear from you girl. BUT you didn't update us on you at all. So like you to worry about all of us! Thanks for your kind words, I hope your right... I have been on this ride long enough and I am tired... so how far along are you? how are you feeling? any news??? Well for me I am so sore today - I spent my weekend doing yard work and I think I pulled every muscle in my body. It hurts to do just about everything today! Expecting AF this week so I can call my dr. and schedule that saline thing. I am anxious to have that done and hopefully hear all is ok with me. I have been dreaming about babies all the time, and even though i dont realize it at the time, its something that is always on my mind. I hope you are all doing good. STACY: how are you did they schedule your surgery? Sending you big hugs and prayers! LISA (JUDI let me know the conception month and age(at time of conception) and I will check my chart!)

i was MIA for a while and as soon as i write in everyone else goes MIA, haha. LISA!!! how are you? i hope i am right too... i know you must feel tired of it all, but i have noticed that time flies really fast and before you know it, you'll have your little one and we'll be talking about the struggle you have been through to get there, God willing. did you get af yet?
as for me... things are going well, God bless. i am almost done preparing for baby's arrival. i am about 38 weeks and hoping that the baby arrives as soon as i am done with some final preparations, God willing, which should be done by this weekend hopefully. oh and so definitely check your chart for me... the conception month was july 2008 and my age at the time of conception was 26. looking forward to hearing your prediction and can't wait to tell you whether it's accurate!

SHELLY - by the way, this response is waaay late, but my coats that i got and was trying were from victoria's secret. the one i ended up keeping came down on super sale for only $59.99!!! i am pretty happy about that. i really enjoy shopping and more than that, i really like it when i get a good discount.

hope all is well with everyone, God willing!

JUDI! I missed you! I am glad your back... but I have a feeling you are going to be quite busy very soon. I cannot believe you are 38 weeks! OMG - that is crazy! Are you really big? Ok, I checked my chart and it says boy..... do you have a gut feeling? I swear when I was expecting my DS I just knew it was a boy, you couldn't convince me otherwise, i don't know if that was intuition or the fact that I had a 50% chance of being correct! Can't wait to hear what you have and that you and your big healthy baby are doing great. How is your DH with everything? So girls I am on CD27 so AF is due tomorrow I feel a little crampy today and my temp went down a little today so I am thinking she will be here soon. I am not thinking I am pregnant this month but I know there is a chance since we missed using bc that one time. But honestly - after years of trying and not being successful, what are the chances that one time we weren't careful because we really want to wait until the Dr. gives his ok that it would be the time it actually works? I guess stranger things have happened, and I am not expecting to be pregnant this month anyway so its ok. Of course I think about the what if, but I am really focusing on next cycle and tying up all the loose ends with the dr. STACY: How are you girl? Is your surgery scheduled? I have been thinking about you and I hope your doing ok. I am here if you need me ok? Where are the rest of you???? hugs and prayers to all that need it. xoxoLISA

wow, so it has been really quiet! is this how it typically is now? i think there was more activity in the past, but now it seems pretty slow. i hope everyone is well. LISA - did AF arrive? how are you feeling? to answer your question, i don't really have a gut feeling. initially i thought it was a girl then i started thinking boy. most people who look at me say boy. DH is great, God bless... thanks for asking and remembering his nervousness about having babies! the other day i told my mom how DH says he wants to take paternity immediately to be able to be with baby in the beginning of his/her life and my mom smiled and basically said "this is the same guy who didn't even want kids". it's amazing how things are different. two years ago DH and i were talking about divorcing b/c he didn't want kids. we have come a long way since then, God bless. anyhow... i'll definitely keep you all posted on whether LISA's chart is accurate (i hope it is!). how about telling me what the chart says my sil is having? she conceived at age 34 in july 2008.

Hello my ladies... LISA]....did AF show??? JUDI....so good to chat with you again. I cant wait for baby !!! So very close !!! I cant wait to see if LISA was correct !!!! HOW is everyone else..;it has been dead in here. I have been mia....Carson had a double ear infection and has been a poor little sick guy !!!

JUDI- Your SIL says GIRL.... it will be interesting to see how correct it is! Oh, I am so happy to hear everything is so good with you. Your DH sounds like he has taken to the impending fatherhood. You know it has to change them to know that is their child growing in there. I don't think anyone can judge what it is going to be like until you experience it. I really hope my DH will get to experience the whole thing someday with me. As for me, yes AF came last Friday - I was 2 days late but I really knew I wasn't pregnant, I just didn't feel it. But AF this time around has been awful, the first after my surgery was barely anything but that was only 7 days post op that it came, so it makes sense I guess that this one was so bad. I had the flu or something Saturday night and I got up to be sick and I was bleeding so badly I thought I was going to pass out right there in the bathroom, it was horrible, almost like a m/c but even more blood if you can imagine, thankfully it lasted only 8 hours or so then tapered off. I called the dr. today to schedule my (hopefully) last post op and I talked to the nurse about the heavy bleeding, she said as long as it stopped I was ok, and it was most likely due to the surgery. But I am going in next week so they can check me out then. I wonder if throwing up and straining myself had something to do with it? I don't know, but I am glad to be back to normal today. SHELLY: How is Carson feeling? I hope he is back to feeling good. Ok - where is everyone? STACY????? the rest of you...... please keep me in your prayers as once I have this last test done god willing I will get the OK to start ttc again! LISA