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Kat, I am so so sorry...I don't even know what to say. That is just unbelievable. How did you find this out? I don't understand why they had originally said that you miscarried when you didn't. Try not to feel guilty because you know you had no control over this, and you don't have the medical eye to see for yourself if everything looks ok. Do you have anyone supporting you through this? I wonder if it would be a good idea to talk to your friend who had the baby or someone else that is close to you so they can help you out. I know what you mean about the whole lawsuit thing about it making everything worse, but maybe you don't have to go through it yourself. I don't know much about it, but maybe the lawyer would not need you there. I'm sure its hard because you want the hospital to know what they did to you, but you don't want to bring yourself down even more. It is really so scary how we depend on these drs when in reality we have to take care of our own health and double check everything they do. I can tell you are a very strong person and I know you will be ok, I wish I could be more help! You are in my prayers...take care Lynne


Chrnor...I'm so sorry for your loss. We understand what you've been through...although we all took a different route to get there we all lost our baby. Did they do genetic testing on the fetus? They had told me that my baby had genetic abnormalities too and that it would not survive, but I decided to wait it out a little....three wks later the baby passed. They tested the fetus after the D &E, and there were no genetic abnormalities. (I had another issue with a subchorionic hematoma which caused the death which I now know is from MTHFR c677 -a clotting problem - after requesting blood work). Anyway, I'm glad you were happy with your decision about seeing the baby....that is still something I wonder about...They didnt give me that opportunity. Stay strong, and you will have another baby soon, when you are ready. I'll be praying for you! Lynne

Thanks Lynne. I found out because I had my file sent to another doctor when I wasn't happy with the way my gyno was treating me. She couldn't seem to get her facts straight. So, I sent my folder to another doc, and the other doc contacted me and wanted to know if I knew that the baby had been alive. Apparently in the folder there are pics of my daughter hooked up to a ventilator, and wires and things. The report said that she was alive too. I do not know any details other than that...I am supposed to be going in to talk with the new doc next week and find out all of the details and what is going on. I just want the office that screwed up to have to own up to their mistake. I don't know how thye could miss the fact that she was still alive, but they did. Maybe it wasn't a strong heartbeat that they could hear well, I don't know...but I don't know how you can miss something like that! And I wish they would have told me that she was alive. I would have liked to be the one to spend those last breaths with her...I cannot go back now, but it still hurts. Losing a baby is much more painful than I ever thought it would be...I don't wish it on anyone! I do have one person that I have confided in, and she is great. I don't really want to share it with my friend who just had her baby because I don't want her to feel bad and step back from wanting me to be around. I think it is good for me right now to be around my Godson...it reminds me of what I will have in the future. It's hard, but I think it is good. Maybe enventually I will share with her, but I don't think now is the right time. Thanks so much for the encouragement. Kat

Thank you Lynne... This only happened a few days ago, so we haven't gotten tests back on the baby but we did order them. On the sonogram, I could see the abnormalities myself and the nurse showed me on the baby after delivery. So I don't expect any surprises from the tests. Mostly, I just want to know that when we try again for a baby this won't happen...that's the tough part, the uncertainty. But I will have hope... I am extremely healthy, a yoga instructor and my husband is very healthy too. I'm 34 and he's 39. Hopefully this was just really bad luck. Good luck in your efforts to try again, it will happen. Any YES, we all need a vacation. :-)

Hi Kat, I'm glad you switched drs. I can't believe they didn't tell you about the ventilators and everything...definitely dont go back to that hospital! I'm glad you have someone to confide in...I was a little worried...definitely wait to tell people until you are ready... go with your gut. I agree with you about it being hard when you lose a baby...I never would have thought it would be like this...I guess things like this make you stronger...I thought I was strong enough, but ok :) I actually just found out I am pregnant again (I think anyway)...I took a test Sunday and Monday and they were faintly positive so I am going to take another test tomorrow morning. I don't think it would be a little positive if there were no hormones, so we'll see...Im nervous of course

Hi Chrnor, That's good that you were able to see everything for yourself, so at least you don't have any doubt. They say that chromosomal abnormalities are just a freak thing and it most likely shouldnt happen again. I know what you mean though about being worried about it happening again. I just found out I am pregnant and I'm more nervous than excited which stinks. I'm extremely healthy also (a dietitian haha) I also do yoga, running, wt lifting etc so you'd think that us healthy people should do good, but I guess it has nothing to do with that. My husband on the other hand isn't the healthiest...luckily he can't carry the baby! I found out that I have a clotting problem due to my body having difficulty absorbing folic acid, so I'm pretty sure that's what caused my miscarriage. At least they didn't find anything that specifically caused your abnormalities so that's a good thing. I wish you luck, and once you heal up start trying again! They say to wait 2 cycles but my dr said there's really no proof that it does anything...its more of a psychological thing in case it happens again so you dont feel guilty about not waiting. We started trying the first month actually since I was feeling great, and 2 months later bingo. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. Lynne

I took 2 more tests and both were negative! I don't know what those positives were....oh well, maybe next month.

I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks(april 13,2009) the Dr stated that the pregnancy appeared to be a cornual pregnancy that worked it self out with the best case scenario. I did not have a D&C and miscarried naturally. i spooted off and on for about 3 weeks and then it just stopped. Each week i went to the Dr to have my numbers checked and they were decreasing. So on May 10, 2009 i got what i thought was a regular cycle, but it lasted for 7 long days. My cycle has never lasted that long. Now today May 24, 2009 i woke uo to have some lower back and side pain that went away within 2 hours. Now i went to the bathroom to see that when i wipe i see bright blood. There is no blood flowing out, it just see it when i wipe. I called the nurse on call and explained the situation and she stated that it is normal to have random bleeding or spotting in the months following a miscarriage. Has anyone experienced this before or something similar?

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage buffaloaka, I had one on March 28 2009 due to fibroides. he was almost 4mths. i had that same bright red blood to and it scared me becasue i thoght i was bleeding for some other reason, it did'nt seem normal. then it passed after 4 days. Brfore that i bled for almost two weeks afetr the miscarriage and then a week later that bright red blood came along.