Pregnancy Info HOME

Hello Fiona, I am so sorry for your loss. Your story touched my heart. I can't imagine what you are going through. Although you may feel like your life is over, it is not, though it is normal to feel that way after such a great loss. I am sending thoughts and prayers your way. xx Jessie

Hi fiona, i am so sorry to hear about your loss, i made me cry when i read your post,i know its easy said then done when i say it does get better but i too know how you feel, on the jan 11th 06 i was 21wks 5 days i went for my 2nd scan but they told me my baby had died, i had to give birth to her she was so small and look like she was sleeping. we named her Kayleigh-anne, and had a funarel for her. every day i think of her i even went and got her name tattooed on my lower back in some fancy writing that me and my partner know what it says it my way of saying she will be with me for ever and ever. i wont find out untill the 15th May the results of the tests they did on me and her. i am getting better now though, its very hard some days esp when my firend is pg and was a week in front of me due at the begain of MAy and wants me to visit her when shes had him but i wont be able to but she understands. i have had 3 cycles now since my m/c, so i am going to try this mth to fall on. but if its does not happen then i will keep trying. i hope you feel better and good luck, i found that if i talk to woman on these forums that has help me alot.once again i am sorry for you loss. :) jo (((hugs))))

Thank you Jessie for your thoughts and prayers.

Jo, I am so sorry for your loss also. I cried when I read your story as I know how painful it is and would never wish it on anyone. Kayleigh-anne is a beautiful name. We named our little girl Lauren. The hospital gave us photos of her and we got to hold her. I just wish I had held onto her for longer. We also had a funeral for her and we've made a small area in our garden for her where we've put a cherub bird bath. It feels nice to sit out there at times and feel close to her.

It is very hard when your friends are pregnant. I had 5 friends all due within a week of me. As much as I am so happy for them, I can't help but wonder what I have done to deserve this.

I hope you get some answers on the 15th May. I wish more than anything I had something to pin it on rather than bad luck.

Thank you both so much for replying. It really helps me to talk about it. I was actually doing really well but in the last few weeks I seem to have fallen apart again.

Thank you again to you both. I appreciate it more than you could imagine.

I hope it all works out for you this month Jo and you fall pregnant quickly. My thoughts will be with you. xxx

hi Fiona, thank you for your kind words and Lauren is a beautiful name, your garden for her sounds lovely and its some where for you both go and have a peacefull moment with her, i have a baby garden at the cemetery where we can go and its really nice and peaceful. i did not get a picture of her as i have my own memories of her, but its nice you have a picture you can keep for ever. when i lost her i found it help me to start a baby box which i kept all her cards from family and friends,pressed flowers, flower cards, letters i wrote just to let it out, my scan pictures, and a pair of little pink botties i got for her. i held her too which was really nice i will never forget her even though you know they are a sleep the sense of love you have when you have them is so great and i will never forget that feeling. its happen to my brothers girlfriend as well just a mth after mine in feb, she is 42 and she lost her baby girl to downs she was 17wks i am trying to help her as well but it hard. 2006 so far has been the worsed for me and my family so i think its about time we had some good news so thats why i hope i fall on soon as. not to replace my lost girl but to have a brother or sister to tell them about her. i hope you feel a bit better knowing that you are not alone and i am here to talk to when ever you need to let of steam. take care and thanks. :) jo

Fiona-
I too lost my baby girl at 22 weeks. She was absolutely perfect and beautiful. My pregnancy was perfect (aside from a fibroid that caused me pain but didn't affect the baby). Maria died on 1/26. It's been 9 weeks, but it feels like it just happened yesterday.

You are not alone. Most days I feel as though my whole world has caved in. I feel so alone, helpless, and heartbroken. Not many people know how it feels to have your hopes, your dreams, and your faith destroyed in a single moment. It's unimaginable. Most people don't know how to respond, so they say things like "it's all part of God's plan." Those things just made me feel angry and resentful. These are the things that help me:

Like "littleangel" I also got a tattoo. Maria had feet that looked just like mine, so I got her footprints tattooed on the top of my foot. It helped me feel connected to her, even though she isn't with me physically (sometimes, I just feel so empty inside). I'm not telling you to go out and get a tattoo. I'm telling you to find something (anything!) that makes you feel connected to her.

Many people will tell you to "just move on and stop thinking about it" and you'll feel better. I found that the opposite is true for me. I feel better remembering her and talking about her. Because of the fibroid, I saw ultrasounds of Maria nearly every week toward the end. She had the cutest nose! She was fascinated with her feet (we even have an ultrasound pic of her with her foot in her mouth!).

Don't ever try to forget about your baby. Keep her a part of your family and a part of you.

Cry. As long as you need to. As much as you need to. ...and don't worry about what other people will think!

Stay away form hurtful people. I've had to distance myself from some of my friends beacuse, although they mean well, they say hurtful things!

Remember that you're not alone. Although there are many people who can never understand what you have gone through and how you feel, there are people who care. I care.

Things will work out. It may take time, but they will. Don't ever, ever give up hope.

Cori

Cori, please accept my sincere condolences on your loss and thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It really does help to know that there are other people out there who unfortunately have had to endure such a painful experience as well. I've actually taken Jo's advice and started a box with all her things in it like her birth certificate and photos and cards from family and friends. We also have a little card that the hospital gave us of her hand and footprints. They are so tiny and adorable. I will never forget her. I know what you mean about people telling you to move on. No one can understand how painful it is to unless they've gone through it themselves. One person actually said to me that people don't understand what I'm going through as I didn't have a baby to start with so ultimately I haven't lost anything. That couldn't be further from the truth. Having her inside of me was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and I felt so close to her. I hope 2006 ends as a great year for all of us and we all get the chance to hold our little bundles of joy in our arms very soon. xxx

I'm sorry for your loss. I found out I had PCOS after having 2 early miscarriages in 2004. So my Dr. recommended that I see an Endocrinologist, after undergoing several test it was then confirmed that I had PCOS. I started 1500mg daily dose of Metformin in March 2005 towards the middle of April 2005 I started to feel sick and didn't get my period (which was odd because I've always gotten a monthly cycle) I found out of I was pregnant at couple of weeks later and heard the heart beat I dreamed of hearing. I was told to continue to take Metformin until 12weeks of pregnancy ( Metformin helps with 1st Trimester losses) I made it to 21 weeks, unfortunately my water broke and I lost my son at 22 weeks on Aug. 28, 2005, I was devastated. I was told I had an incompetent cervix on top of having PCOS. Determined not give up I spoke with my Dr. about getting pregnant again, he said wait at least one period, I did just that Sept 2005 I got my first period after that I started taking Metformin again and a few weeks later I never got my second period I waited until about 2 months to test, I found out I was pregnant again in Nov. 2005. I was told again to take Metformin until 12 weeks and at 14 weeks I had a cervical cerclage stitch put in to support my incompetent cervix. Well today I'm 27 weeks pregnant with another boy and things are going well I was put on bed rest 2 weeks ago to keep pressure off my cervix. My Dr. is watching me carefully he says he will do what ever it takes to get me close to term.

Good luck to you all!!! Keep praying.

hi cori, sorry for your loss, Maria is a lovely name and a good idea getting her foot prints on your foot, that way everwhere you are walking she will be with you forever.hi fiona, i hope you are doing ok, and feeling a bit better, i glad you started a baby box, i hope it has helped you a lot and you have got some comfort from talking to other woman who have lossed their babys. me i am fine just taking a day by day, i was really up set at work the other day as one of the guys has just become a grandfather twice in a mth, i have seen his photos they are really cute and lovely, then the other day he come over with his camara, putting it under my nose saying 'its bath time jo look", i just put my hand up and said no then ran out crying, my manager had to tell him to stop coming over with the pics as he is hurting my feelings. i know hes proud and want to show them off but he has to understand my feelings to. i have less then 5 wks till i go to the hospital for my results of the test they did on me and Kayleigh-anne, that will be the hardest day as i was due on the 19th may, but i have to be strong and it will help me get over my loss better knowing why it happened.sorry to go on. take care :) jo

hi meme1025 thank you for sharing you story, i am sorry for your losses but i glad you are doing well with this pregnancy. when are due? sorry also what is PCOS i have never heard of this?thank you take care jo:)

Hi Meme1025, thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm so sorry for your loss, but it is great to hear that you are now so close to having your baby boy. Please let us know how you get on. You'll be in my prayers.

Hi Jo, sorry to hear that you have had an upsetting time at work. I've had the same problem with three work collegues having their babies in the past few weeks. One of them even brought him in just to show me. I think she thought she was doing the right thing, but it's definately upsetting and hard when you are at work. I'm doing much better now. I haven't been crying as much and have just been taking each day at a time.

I really hope everything goes well for you when you go to the hospital. Once you get an answer you will be able to deal with the problem and be more knowledgeable next time. I'll be thinking of you.

Hope everyone is keeping well and getting through each day as best they can.

Fiona x

hi Fiona, i am glad you are well and getting there,i am sorry you hd to go through that at work, it hard i know how you feel about work collegues, i had 2 at my work, one of them ask if it was ok if she could bring him in to show every one and i said yes as i could not hold it against her its not her fault i lost my baby, i did see him he was so small and lovely but then i ran to the loo and cried. i am getting better as well, i am glad of this forums as its has help me a lot with talking about my m/c. we are strong and will get through this and i will keep you post and let you know how my appointment goes. take care ((((hugs))) jo

Hi ladies, I am so sorry for your losses. i had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June 2005 and got pregnant right away and ended up being induced into labour at 18 weeks 5 days with our daughter Treya on November 26 2005( A day after your sweet angel fiona). Our daughter had Turners Syndrome and no chance of survival due to cystic hygroma that took over most of her head, fetal hydrops, due to her lymphatic system not working proper , heart failure and low amnoitic fluid. Doctors were so suprised that she lived for so long with the condition she was in. I had so many dreams for my sweet little girl.i joined a support group for mothers that have lost babies and its been so wonderful to talk to women who can understand how I feel. I wish the Turners wasent so bad and she could have that lucky 1 % that could survive with Turners. My hubby and I are trying again, but my cycles have been crazy since the loss.I felt my daughters every move because of the low amniotic fluid and I listened to her heart beat since she was 10 weeks with a rented doppler. Its so hard, but we have to go on and have faith that we can have healthy pregnancies and babies. I agree with what cori said and hold on to every memory. Im going to start a scrapbook for my little girl. I do have two other children a 5 year old daughter and a three year son that I am so blessed to have. My son doesent understand what happened, but my daughter was able to see her sister and she reminds me everyday that Our daughter Treya is still a huge part of our family. My daughter tells everyone that she has a sister who is in heaven. She even caught me crying a few days ago and said mommy someday you will see Treya again and Grandma Carolle is taking care of her for you.Fiona, and those that are trying, I pray that we have future healthy pregnancies and babies we deserve it!

Hi Fiona.. I'm sorry for your loss.. I went through the same thing. I lost my daughter January 8th 2006. They found nothing wrong with me or the baby.. unlucky they say.
I just wanted to wish you a blessed pregnancies in the future.
Nanita

Dear Tara, I am very sorry to hear about your sad losses. I hope with the love of your two other children you get through this. My sympathy goes out to you too Nanita. We were told the same thing...just unlucky. It certainly doesn't help to know that everything was fine and someone just decided that you weren't supposed to have a beautiful baby just yet. I've found this forum so helpful with such lovely and caring people to speak too. I hope it helps you too. Jo, I've been thinking about you and praying your appointment gives you the answers you need to hear. Love to you all. xxxx

Two weeks ago I popped over to our next door neighbours to invite them for dinner but discovered that at 19weeks she had lost her baby. We haven't lived in the area that long so I don't know her really well but over the last few months she's been a brilliant neighbour and made us feel very welcome. She was so excited and showed me her growing bump at every opportunity! But now I don't know what to say to her, I don't know what is right or wrong. She's got lots of family around her which is great but I do see her often and I don't know what to say to her. I don't want o upset her or her husband who was also very saddened. Has anyone got any advice. I know nothing about pregnancy or miscarriage. I don't know what caused her to loose her baby or if she knew if it was a boy or girl (her first scan was supposed to be the next day). What should I do? Any advice would be great. Good luck to you all..xx

hi Fiona, thank you i am ok not long to wait now 15th ,my appointment will keep you posted. how are you now hope its getting better for you. rj80, sorry to hear about you nbours loss, all you can do it listen and be there for her like a shoulder to cry on. interduce her to this site and she can talk about it with other woman who have been there, i know its help me wonders being on here. good luck to her. Tara sorry about your loss too scrappbook is good idea and may be one day your son will be able to understand, my nephew he is 2 and he always say to me her see's my DD in heaven with his sister whom died too at 17wks with downs so its nice to hear them say things like that take care ((hugs))) :) jo